“What’s wrong, babe?”

The voice stirs Kyungha out of her thoughts. “Nothing, I’m okay,” she says quickly.

Joohyun narrows her eyes at the younger. “You’re lying, Kyungha.”

Sighing, she admits, “I’m lying.”

But unlike Seulgi, Joohyun isn’t rash. So, she puts her arm around Kyungha and reassures her, “I’m not going to push you because it looks like you’re still deep in thought about it. But just know, Seul and I are here at any time. Call us up at three in the morning. Hell, I'll pick up right away.”

Kyungha smiles, but it feels awkward and stiff like her actions didn’t mesh well anymore. Joohyun sees it, and her eyes shine with concern. “I will. I just need some time,” she promises.

“I smell the beginning of a vicious fight, ladies,” Jason announces his presence in an overly obnoxious way that makes Kyungha want to knock his pearly whites so far back that he couldn’t eat without a reminder of his debauchery.

Joohyun’s lips thin out as she coldly flits her eyes at him. Kyungha is silent as she watches her friend, who seems to do well standing on her own ground, respond, “wow, I never thought I would be so bothered with anyone’s presence. No one does it quite like you.”

Jason sneers, squinting his eyes like he was deciding whether he’d like the girl from the past better or the one now. “So feisty, Irene. I like that,” he purrs, reaching out to drag a strand of hair dangling in front of her face.

Her friend jerks away. “Don’t ing touch me,” she presses, her voice trembling. He ignores her, tucking the strand behind her ear. “I said don’t.”

Before Jason can say anything, he’s already pressed against the wall, his arms twisted behind his back. “The lady said no touching. Did you not ing hear that?”

Joohyun’s eyes are wide as she blinks to the man. “Vernon?”

He tilts his head, flashing his smile. “That’s me. What should I do with this piece of garbage?”

Kyungha is relentless. Her cold eyes flicker onto Jason who is struggling and swearing profanely. “Take out the trash. Don’t bother to recycle it,” she says, crossing her arms. Jason shoots her a menacing glare. If it weren’t for Vernon’s hold, he’d probably bash her head in.

Vernon whistles. “I’d probably piss my pants if I wasn’t a second year.” Joohyun is silent as she stares at Vernon with a weird expression. He returns her gaze, cocking his brows. “Did you have something to add?”

She closes , shaking her head firmly. Vernon nods briefly, turning to leave as he drags Jason who is mouthing him off as they speak.

Kyungha nudges her friend who remains staring at their silhouette. “I’m sorry, but if that wasn’t insta-love, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Joohyun pushes her shoulders. “No way. Vern’s an .”

Her brows knit together. “Vern?”

Joohyun bites her lips. “We hate each other. He’s always such a cocky bastard.”

Kyungha isn’t convinced. Just what else did she miss out on from the last two weeks? “Said cocky bastard just pulled through. He gets a point in my book.”

Her friend snorts. “Why don’t you just marry him then?”

“Because I’m taken, duh.”

The two exchange another look before sharing a laughing. What would she do without her friends?

Kyungha drags Sehun out for lunch because her body rejected the idea of remaining in the hospital at the risk of seeing Park Minjung, the current bane of her existence.

He doesn’t question it because she does a good job of hiding her uneasiness. For all he knows, she’d wanted to take him out for a lunch date.

He holds her hand, but Kyungha’s hands felt clammy, and she’d wanted to pull away, but she didn’t want to raise any alarms. Swallowing, she continues to walk.

She’d chosen a small café that offered a variety of crêpes. He opens his mouth to inspect the place. “This is nice,” he comments.

Kyungha nods, “it is. What are you hungry for? My treat.”

Sehun chuckles. “I’d say you, but you’re not offering yourself, are you?”

She rolls her eyes, ducking to hide her face. “On second thought, I’ve lost my appetite.” She attempts to move away from him, but he pulls her in by the shoulders until she’s locked in place. He turns his head to bite her shoulder with only mischief in his demeanor.

“You taste like the best thing the world has to offer,” he murmurs against her neck.

Kyungha tries to not show her embarrassment, but her cheeks are flaring with heat. “When I catch sight of the HR form, I will not hesitate to put it through the shredder.”

He ignores her threat and pecks her lightly on her cheeks. Then, he stares up at the menu. Other people pass around them, but with him by her side, it’d felt like they were in their own world. “Nutella, right?” He hums.

She stares at his side profile, mouth slightly ajar. How could she ask him? Her heart had felt like it was being stretched in both directions. He’d adored her so much. She didn’t want to believe that he’d done something to wrong her.

Kyungha’s eyes burn as everything he says fly by her ears. She couldn’t hear him above the white noise blaring in her ears. Memories dance in her eyes, and she’s whisked away from reality.

He was the man who’d stitched up her dress, seducing her that night with his pretty smile and flirty words. She didn’t mistake the heat she’d felt building in her lower region. No. It’d been building for so long until she could finally have him. Feel him inside of her.

He was also the man who took her out to Jack’s Burgers and Malts, his special place. He’d showed her a side of him that she didn’t know she’d needed. The playfulness that she was only introduced to. God. She was such an idiot. She had no idea the emotional journey he would take her on.

He was also the man who let her stay in his apartment numerous times, telling her stories and letting her imagination run wild. It was thanks to him that she’d enjoy the profession she’d chosen. Because like him, she’d wanted to be that doctor. The best one. A sincere, hard worker.

And of course, how could she forget the way he made her heart race, pulling her closer in his sleep unconsciously? Like it was a visceral reaction. And without her, sleep wasn’t easy. How ing hilarious. Before they’d even put a name on it, she was already his and she wasn’t even aware.

Her breathing becomes shallow, her skin tingling as she remembers the way he would curl his fingers tightly around her skin, putting his name on her. Then there was the way his steady breathing would hit her skin, sending a million sensations down her spine.

And he was also the man who knew everything about her—he’d known her well, so ing well that no one—nobody—in this world could beat him. He’d known the small details. Everything that counted.

He made her soft, so, so soft for him. All smiles and on the receiving end of frequent heart problems. He was the man who entertained her with their eccentric bantering. His stupidly gentle kisses and the way he trapped her in his arms when she’d tried to kick him off of her, pretending to be grossed out by his cheesy words.

He’d trusted her with his heart. He gave her small bits of himself, all shiny and wrapped and glorious. He’d handed it off to her when he told her about his mother, his dad, and his small insecurities. How careless of him, but how very appropriate because she’d ended up doing the same thing herself.

And so yes, she’d loved him. Do Kyungha was utterly in love—in shambles—for Oh Sehun. So much that she couldn’t bear to see a future without him. It simply wasn’t possible anymore.

Since she was sixteen and for four long, winded years, the reason why she couldn’t fathom committing to anyone was because she’d never moved on. She’d already been in love with him, unknowingly. And she wasn’t stopping. No, the currents were already set against her.

Her love had matured over the course of the years from innocence of her first love to rancor bitterness of her loss and currently, to loving him like a real woman did, and thanks to him, she’d reached the deepest parts of herself. She’d learned to appreciate the things she had in life.

So it wasn’t an understatement when the thought of Minjung tore through her heart like an earthquake, sudden and oh no, there was no running away. It was a dull knife, slicing its way through slowly, saturating her—clogging her with blood. Rusted. Fresh. It didn’t matter.

She didn’t want to ask. She didn’t want to interrogate him. Because Kyungha, with all of her damn earnestness and for god’s sake, her abundance of love for him, wanted to trust him. So badly.

And she’d never been so sure about an outcome in her entire twenty years of life. Kyungha was going to bleed out if she attempted to pull that knife out of her chest. And she couldn’t see how she could survive the aftermath.

But the lipstick. Kyungha couldn’t be a coward, but she’d so badly wanted to. Because throughout this entire journey, he was her safe place. And if he wasn’t anymore. Where would she go?

Sehun playfully knocks his head onto her. “What are you thinking about so intently?” He asks, sending her a side glance.

Kyungha wills herself to smile. To pretend everything was alright when, in fact, her heart was pushing through the severe agony of her shortcomings. “I’m hungry,” she pouts, glancing away quickly from his gaze onto the menu so he doesn’t catch her. And it hit her, hard. If she’d continued to stare into the brown abyss of his crescent eyes, she’d fall straight through them and never come back up for air.

For the next two weeks, she’d focused on her job, rather than dwelling on her impending crises.

Whether intentional or not, the two have been avoiding each other. Sehun, because he’d probably sensed her questions, and her because she couldn’t deal with herself coming to the scary understanding. Love. The very one.

It was a terrifying word. If said at the wrong time, it could make or break. And right now, she wasn’t strong enough to think about it. Not only because of the situation she was in. But because she’d never loved anyone before. Not quite like she’d felt for him.

Kyungha withdraws to the rooftop. During this time, she couldn’t bear to step in 1308. And Minjung didn’t lift her ban on Dani’s visitation rights.

The hospital rooftop was a long vast of greens. They’d grown a garden up here to promote smart growth. The cafeteria had used its own produce, which was a reason why it was a popular choice for interns. Cheap and convenient.

Along with the gardens, there are also planted flowers, a mix of baby’s breath, daisies, and the list when on, but there’s also a bench. That’s where the girl had found solace in. Sitting alone at night. High above ground level light pollution. At least she could make out one or two stars.

A loud racket originating from what she could only guess was shattered glass makes her jump. She stops midstep, spinning around to scrutinize her surroundings. Her peripherals catch onto someone careening dangerously close onto the edge of the roof.

A panicked fog of realization hits her, and she sprints over to the person. Her eyes widen as she finds out who it is. “Jason, what the hell are you doing up here?”

He sits, legs dangled out on the rooftop. There was a bottle of booze beside him. He was drinking it straight. Kyungha heaves an exasperated sigh as she gets closer. His eyes meet her, and he drunkenly scoffs. “Oh, it’s you,” he says, his tone laced with bitterness.

“Get off of there,” she urges, holding her hands out.

Jason sways, and her heart almost leaps out of her chest. “Why do you care?” He slurs. “Go back to your ing boyfriend.” He waves his hand, pointing toward the door. Then, he waits for a beat, but Kyungha plants herself onto the ground, hands on her hips. “You can get lost now,” he slurs again.

“What’s the problem this time?”

His eyes size her over. “I don’t have a problem. Clearly, you do. I don’t know why you’re still in my ing sight.”

“Really? You’re saying that while you’re dangling on the rooftop with a bottle of Henny?” She challenges.

“Oh, off. I don’t need your smart mouth running at me, ing .”

“You’re right. I am a . Now get off or I’ll pull you down here myself.”

He laughs delightfully, extending his arms. The wind picks up. Kyungha grips her gown as the clock begins ticking inside her brain. He was a bomb, waiting to explode. “Why don’t you try, Do Kyungha?”

“Why do you hate me so much?” She asks, distracting him from taking another swig. If he’d gotten any drunker, he’d fall off from a small breeze.

Jason scoffs like she was the most unbelievable person. “Because you make me ing sick.”

“You don’t know me, Jason. That’s not an answer.”

He tilts his head at her, eyes blazing with melancholy. “Oh, I know you very well. I’ve known you since you were a little girl.”

She narrows her eyes in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“East Shores Elementary,” he says.

Kyungha’s jaw clenched. “How do you—“

“How do I know? Because we were in the same class for a whole year. You’re so terribly mean. I can’t believe you’ve forgotten me just—“ He snaps a finger. “—like that. Like I’m nothing.”

“Daehwi?” The name sounds so foreign rolling off her tongue. A horrible realization sinks within her. “But you—“

“It was your fault, everything.”

“Daehwi, please—“

“Don’t ing call me by that name.”

“Jason, get down. I’m sorry—“

“She came that day to see you. She’d needed you, but you pushed her away and now, she’s gone!”

Kyungha’s throat constricts. “She’d pushed me away! She wanted to be with everyone else. She was the one who abandoned me!” A wave of nausea grows over her.

“She—“ He exhales shakily, tears running down his cheeks. “I went home and she was gone. Her life gone. Her future down the drain. She drowned herself! She was only five. Every time, I look at you. I see her, and it’s nauseating. I can’t ing breathe without wanting you to suffer the same fate as her.”

Kyungha chokes on a sob. “Heejoo’s—“

His face crumbles in rage. “Don’t mention her name!”

“How? How did you—how did you get this job? If you’re here, then we’re the same age—you’re twenty. What—“

Daehwi scoffs. “Exactly. Imagined how much effort it took me to find you and work to where I am today.” He laughs, his chest caving in and out.

Kyungha feels sick to her stomach. She couldn’t breathe. He was crazy, and he’d followed her here. And for what?

“What do you want with me?” She manages, losing her air. She couldn’t breathe. It was beyond her. Everything.

He finally jumps off the ledge and staggers to where she is. His breath stinks. He pushes her roughly. She falls on his second shove. Kyungha reaches out to catch herself on the ground before her head hits the floor. “I want you to suffer, Do Kyungha.” Kyungha tries to back away, but he has his hands clutched around . “Experience the pain. Die the way she did.”

Kyungha begins to see stars. She slaps and scratches, but he’s not letting go. Her pulse slows as her oxygen supply steadily depletes. “Please,” she begs, eyes fluttering close.

And at the last second, she feels the air whoosh around her. And then everything is black.

When she wakes, is dry. She coughs, hands flying to her neck. She attempts to crane her head, but the pain rips through her.

“Don’t move,” a familiar voice tells her.

Kyungha opens her eyes to see Sehun. His brows are drawn taut, and he looks seconds away from committing murder. There’s a cast around her neck, holding it in place. She grimaces.

The door opens at this time and a crying Kyungsoo comes rushing in. He sobs loudly, seeing that she’s awake. “Do Kyungha! You—” He never finishes his words when he sidles next to her, holding her tightly and losing all his . “I almost got a heart attack when they’d called me,” he cries.

Sehun’s jaw is clenched tight. “I’m going to call the detectives back,” he says, but Kyungha grabs his arm.

Her eyes are wide, and she tries to shake her head. “Don’t go,” she begs. For now, the matter with Minjung didn’t matter. She’d needed him.

Kyungsoo sniffles. Sighing, he pulls away. “Sehun, stay with her. I’ll go call them.”

Sehun bites his lips but doesn’t protest. He moves to stand near her. Kyungsoo leaves the room, and with shaky fingers, Kyungha tugs him to sit down next to her on the bed.

He adjusts the bed height, letting her sit upright. Then with a shaky exhale, he pulls her into his arms. “I thought I almost lost you,” he whispers.

Kyungha shuts her eyes, feeling the tears fall. “What happened?”

“Jason—he tried to kill you. Joohyun and Seulgi were looking for you, and they found you on the ground being strangled by him. Seulgi ran to me like she’d seen a ghost. She told me that you were dying, and I ran—I ran so hard. We carried you down to the emergency room. And we had to give you oxygen because you weren’t breathing on your own anymore,” he explains, voice tight.

“And Daehw—Jason? What about him?”

“Vernon tackled him on the ground. He was restrained and the police came to take him.”

She shakes, the horror of the last twenty-four hours finally hitting her. Sehun interlaces their fingers, squeezing. A sob racks through her body, and she leans into his neck, lips trembling.

He strains, “I’m sorry. I should’ve been with you—I should’ve protected you—“ His breath hitches. “I don’t know what I’d done if I’d lost you. , sweetheart, ,” he curses. Kyungha pulls him against her tightly. He murmurs the word I'm sorry over and over again on her skin.

Kyungha swallows. “It wasn’t your fault. I thought he was going to hurt himself. He was—he’d looked like he was contemplating suicide. I didn’t realize how much resentment he held for me,” she whispers.

Sehun prompts, careful with his tone, “why were you both up there?”

“It was a coincidence. I just wanted to take a breather, and then he was also up there. Jason—he’s Daehwi. Heejoo’s twin.”

Her boyfriend freezes. “Heejoo?” The name rolls off his tongue as if she’d sounded familiar, but he couldn’t grasp who she was. “The girl you told me about?” He finally guesses after a beat.

“The very one. We had a big fight one day, and Heejoo, she doesn’t have a family like mine. She was an outcast in hers. The three of us were close at one point, but the twins eventually wanted to fit in. She'd wanted it the most. Her mom neglected her, so she’d felt like she never had a home. She had it worse than me.

Anyway, Kyungsoo decided to transfer me shortly after. And we lost contact. But a few days later, I’d heard on the news that she’d died. I had no idea that she’d—she’d felt that way. I left her all alone. I—oh god, what if it really is my fault that she’s dead?”

Sehun shushes her. “Kyungha, no—sweetheart, you were five. You couldn’t have done anything for her. Don’t blame yourself. All of this—none of which you’re responsible for—is bad luck. Jason’s hatred and Heejoo’s death. You didn’t cause them. Jason had blamed you for something that you had no involvement in. He’d coped that way, so don’t you ing dare feel any sort of guilt after almost dying on me.”

Kyungha hiccups, squeezing her eyes shut. The sobbing had picked up again, and she’d lost all of her composure.

Because death? It was scary. Not because she was afraid of the connotation, but because she could’ve lost the people she’d loved. Sehun. Her brother. Jongin. Jungkook. Seulgi. Joohyun. The list of names echoes in her mind as she clutches onto Sehun, crying and crying. Crying until she’d felt like she was satisfied. Crying until she’d felt like it was enough. But nothing was enough.

Kyungsoo had forced her to go to therapy. He didn’t take no for an answer. After being interrogated by the detectives who were in charge of her case, she was told that Jason was going to be sentenced for attempted murder and stalking.

Sehun tried his best to stay by her side, but he had to go back to work eventually. Kyungha was okay with the small window of time they had together when she wasn’t speaking to her shrink or being pestered by her two doting best friends.

She was allowed to go on a small break, but Kyungha didn’t feel that it was necessary. Therapy was helping, and her sleeping pills were working. She’d only used half the bottle because Sehun had slept next to her for the entirety of this.

To her friends’ dismay, she was already back to work before Christmas hit. On Christmas Eve, Sehun took her out for ice cream and ice skating.

Then, they stayed over at her brother’s to participate in the annual Christmas morning festivities.

Mentally, Kyungha was getting better. She’d still have nightmares here and there with Daehwi on top of her, squeezing. But when she would wake, Sehun would be there rubbing soothing circles as she cried into his chest.

Kyungsoo’s house was a mess after opening presents. There were torn gift wrapping paper everywhere. It covered the entire house.

With her friends and family, it was easier to recover from her trauma. Sehun gifted her a necklace with a tiny charm that resembled a key. had constricted, and she'd almost cried in happiness. She knew what it signified. She’d remembered that she’d immediately tackled him and kissed the hell out of him until the people around her started groaning about their eyes. He grew fed up with them and dragged her into her room, locking the door behind them.

Things were going great for them. Their bond had grown even stronger, but Kyungha still felt fearful. Happiness, in her experience, was fleeting.

Ephemeral.

It could slip away from her before she even knew it. Minjung stayed away for the majority of the time, probably deciding to let Kyungha live for a bit.

But Kyungha didn’t trust the space. She knew Minjung cared more about Sehun than she did about her. Frankly, she had the creeping suspicion that the two have begun talking again. Not as friends, but they did it for the sake of pleasantries. Because in the end, Minjung was still her step-sister whether she had liked it or not.

Her mom and Henry had visited them for Christmas. She had to calm her mom down from falling apart. Henry told her that her mom had been checking the news every single day to follow up on her case.

Kyungha felt like a burden. Honestly. Everyone was so worried about her, and she didn’t know if things would go back to normal. She’d wanted them to stop babying her. Yes, she almost died but Daehwi was now in jail, and she’d never see him again after this.

Her mentality was in the right place now, and she could sleep on her own again. Without pills, and yes, without Sehun.

But that still didn’t assuage her anxiety of the tube of lipstick. The alleged secrets that went on between her boyfriend and his ex-fiancé.

And so she would find out the hard way. Kyungha still couldn’t prepare for that day no matter what she did.