A/N: Thank you all for your comments! They really do mean a lot to me! Also new chapter in honor of Chaeyoung's Christmas cover!!

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Albert Camus once wrote, "Blessed are the hearts that can bend. They shall never be broken." But I wonder.... If there's no breaking, then there's no healing. And if there's no healing, then there is no learning. And if there's no learning, then there's no struggle. But the struggle is a part of life, So must all hearts be broken?

 

Now I ask, If you could go back and change one thing about your life, would you? And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change ultimately break your heart? Or break the heart of another? Or would you choose an entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing, just one moment? One moment, that you've always wanted back… if so, what would you change?

 

Friday night involved the high school friends meeting for the first time in a club altogether for the first time after graduation. Which was honestly, long overdue…

 

“Alright guys bring it in. It has been way too long since we all hung out together, and this is the first time we’re all together… legally that is.” Jisoo who was sat by the bar with her friends around. “So here’s to hanging with our crew...the old.” She gestured towards Irene and Seulgi. “And the new.” She gestured towards Hyeri this time. “And to everyone getting what they want.” She finished the toast and everyone drank their shot wincing at the taste.

 

“Jesus , what the hell was that?” Seulgi says, almost gagging.

 

“I wanted something that would remind everyone of me, so they mixed their most popular liquor with the sweetest. The bartender called it the Kim Jisoo.” Jisoo said with a cheeky smile. “Isn’t that right?” She says turning to look at Lisa with a smirk.

 

Lisa chuckled humorlessly. “No.” She deadpanned. “I call it tequila and grenadine” She said pouring another drink on the set of shot glasses.

 

“It disgusting.” Irene says.

 

“You know, not many people can handle a Kim Jisoo.” The brunette tries again, she just needs a reaction, something that shows her Lisa is still interested.

 

“Mhm.” Lisa nods as she leans forward on the bar to get close to Jisoo. “Too bad you push away those who can.” She whispers with a wink before turning away to serve another customer.

 

Jisoo’s smirk falls and stares at Lisa’s back with a frown the the brunette takes her shot glass and downs her drink slamming the glass on the countertop.

 

“You okay?” Seulgi asks, rubbing her back.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

A few people away from where the group was, stood Chaeyoung and Hyeri, the taller girl had her arm around the other girls waist.

 

“I don’t know about the old crew, but the new one is ready to go.” Hyeri said leaning towards Chaeyoung ear so she could hear her over the music.

 

“I thought you wanted to see Taeyeon perform?”

 

“I thought I could handle being around Jennie, who hates me by the way. But I was wrong.”

 

Chaeyoung sighed. “Look YG is a big place okay? Avoiding her shouldn’t be too difficult.”

 

“Oh I have no problem avoiding her, it’s you I’m worried about.”

 

In the meantime at the very back of the club…

 

“Thanks for invite.” Somi says, who is sitting by herself on the couch. “I’m usually at home with my sister on Friday nights.” She tells Jennie.

 

“Okay we are going to work on your rockstar image.” Jennie said with a small chuckle.

 

Somi smiles and shrugged. “I can’t tell you how much I love Taeyeonr.”

 

“Oh good.” Jennie perks up. “How would you like to open for her?”

 

The girls eyes open up as she goes completely rigid. “To..tonight?”

 

“It’s one song, just one song.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? I look terrible, I have nothing prepared and I don’t even have a band. Jennie!” She stands up and start pacing in front of the small space in the couch, while Jennie watches with crossed arms and an amused smile.

 

“This is why I didn’t tell you.” Jennie explains, gesturing to the pacing. “I knew you were going to panic and probably run off and disappear, am I wrong?” She asks after seeing the other girl open to refute her statement, the latter girl then closed and looked down. “And you can warm up in my office, and the house band will back you up.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

Jennie smirks as she watches the girl walk towards her office, shaking her head in amusement she then walks towards the bar in search for Jisoo when she sees Chaeyoung sitting at the bar alone, she notices the smile she has when talking to Lisa, how she throws her head back when laughing and then hits one Lisa’s arm while shaking her head. Jennie’s swallows as once again that nagging feeling of loneliness and longing comes back.

 

Sighing, the brunette straightens up and walks towards the blonde slipping a piece of paper in front of her.

 

“What’s this?” Chaeyoung asks as she looks down to the paper.

 

“Rent. Sorry it’s late.” Jennie responds, seriously.

 

The blonde sighs and she turns on her sit to look at Jennie. “You don’t have to do that.”

 

“No, I really do.”

 

“Well, I’m not taking it.”

 

“Fine, I’ll mail it.” Jennie says and walks away, continuing to look for Jisoo.

 

And like if on queue, Hyeri comes back from the bathroom to join her girlfriend at the bar, Chaeyoung’s arm going around her waist. “What was that about?”

 

“She had a rent check for me.” She explains. ‘I didn’t take it.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I don’t feel right accepting money from Jennie, okay?” She clarifies. “We’ve been friends for too long.”

 

“I hate to break it to you, but most girls know are not friends with their exes.” Hyeri was very patient and very understanding, but when the obvious signs are there and your girlfriend seems to be either oblivious or ignorant of them, and Hyeri… Hyeri was starting to ge worried.

 

Chaeyoung sighs. “Jennie’s different. Look, I know I said we could try avoiding her, but...maybe we should work this thing out.” She says looking at Hyeri who looks at her in disbelief. “At least say something to her.”

 

“Fine.” Hyeri says as she takes Chaeyoung hand. “Let’s go.” SHe then pulls the both of them and pushes people around to get to the other side of the bar where Jennie was.

 

“Hey, Jennie. You know when you said you don’t like me? Well I don’t like you either.” She tells a confused Jennie and then turns to look at Chaeyoung. “There, I said something.” The brunette walks aways leaving the other two to watch her leave one confused and the other one unamused.

 

“I can’t do this.” Jennie says as she shakes her head and walks away towards the opposite direction as Hyeri, leaving a confused Chaeyoung alone.

 

“That was rough.” Said Lisa, standing from the other side of the bar.

 

“I really don’t know what to do anymore.”

 

“It’s simple, chipmunk. Choose.” The thai girl said shrugging.

 

“What?”

 

“Choose. You are keeping Jennie close while also wanting your current girlfriend to stay close and not get mad that you are keeping your ex-girlfriend close for God knows what reason.” Lisa explains, as if it was that simple. “So all Hyeri wants is for you to show her she’s your number one right one, the question is...is she?”

 

“Of course.” The blonde responded, maybe a little bit too quickly. “There’s no question about it.”

 

“Then show her that.” The bartender said. “Also I think the fact that your are close friends to both of your ex-girlfriends is not helping matters, no matter how much you and Jisoo are over it, she’s still an ex.”

 

“Hyeri knows I love her.” Chaeyoung said.

 

“Right but does she know that.”

 

“Right.” Chaeyoung mumbles. Sighing and trying to not think about it for the rest of the night she sits down in front of Lisa. “Sooo...you and Jisoo.”

 

“There’s no me and Jisoo.” Lisa answers as she prepares a drink.

 

“Have you talked to her?”

 

“No. She wants to…” Lisa places the drinks on the counter and places her hands on the counter leaning her weight into it. “But I... I’m not sure I’m ready to hear what she has to say.”

 

“She loves you, Lis.” The blonde says sincerely.

 

“Then how come I don’t believe it?” Lisa asks. “We were together for six months and not once did she say I love you back.” She continues, the hurt clearly still lingering in her heart.

 

“Then maybe talk to her, at the very least you get some closure.” The blonde suggest, also hoping her best friends opens up to Lisa this time and around, she more than anyone deserved a happy ending.

Lisa sighs. “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

 

The two girls are left talking while Hyeri walks around the packed club looking for a familiar face, fortunately she stumbles upon Seulgi on her way to the bathroom.

 

“Hey! You cut your hair, looks awesome.” Seulgi greets her with a smile.

 

“Thanks.” The brunette smiles. “You and Irene look great, too. Enjoying your last few nights of freedom before she gets a bun in the oven?”

 

“Yep. We have the appointment tomorrow.” Seulgi says, the mere thought of having a little one running around their house brings a smile to her face. “I can’t wait to have a little her around the house. And how about you? Irene told me about that Jennie thing, you okay?”

 

“Not as upset as I am that Chae took off to talk to her the other night.”

 

“She did not. Why?”

 

“I haven’t asked.” Hyeri shrugs crossing her arms. “I’m not sure I want to know.”

 

Seulgi had her suspicions, she knows by no means is Chae cheating on Hyeri, nor is she aware of how much her insistence on helping Jennie is hurting Hyeri but one thing was for sure, these two needed to talk. “You should ask her. It’s probably nothing.”

 

“I know, it’s just...suddenly everything we do involves Jennie somehow.”

 

“Well that’s not true.” It was totally true thought Seulgi.

 

“Hey, sorry” Jennie interrupts as if on queue. “Can you tell Irene to find me whenever she’s done?”

 

“Sure.” Seulgi nods and Jennie watches Jennie walkaway. “Maybe it’s a little bit true.” She tells Hyeri with a wince.

 

Jennie smiling after once again annoying Hyeri successfully made her way to Jisoo who was still at the bar, when she saw a familiar face make her way through the club’s door.

 

“.”

 

Hurrying up to where Jisoo was, she finds her staring longingly at Lisa, who seemed to be going out of her way to avoid her side of the bar.

 

“Hey.”

 

“She hates me.”

 

“She doesn’t hate you.” Jennie comforts. “But putting that aside for a minute, I hate to break it to you, but your mom…”

 

“Is a , I know.”

 

“No. I mean yes, but she’s also here.”

 

“What?” Jisoo exclaims as she turns around to see her mother make her way towards her with a drink in her hand. “Oh mother fu…”

 

“Jisoo.”

 

“Mother.”

 

“That’s my queue to leave, bye!”

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jisoo asks.

 

“I notice you rescheduled the Macy’s meeting without talking to me.”

 

Jisoo crossed her arms in a defensive way, unaware that cautious, caring eyes were looking at her from the other side of the bar. “Yes. Because you work for me, not the other way around.” She says, unaware of the small proud smile appeared on the owner of those eyes.

 

“And you’ve made that cristal clear, And since you think you can do everything, I finally have time to party.”

 

“You’re embarrassing.”

 

“You won’t listen to reason, maybe I can embarrass you out of this town.”

 

“Do whatever you want.. it won’t affect me.” Jisoo tries to say sounding confident, even if a part her knew it wasn’t entirely true.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

“So your mom’s still a .” Lisa says finally standing on Jisoo’s side of the bar.

 

“Yep.”

 

Lisa pours her a shot and Jisoo downs it without hesitation.

 

“I’m guessing her being here was not part of your plans?” Lisa tried to ask casually, when really all she wanted to ask was if Jisoo was okay, because her heart… her heart was still with Jisoo.

 

“Nope. There are a lot things that were not part of the plan.” The brunette says looking at Lisa, and in that moment both girls know Jisoo is not only talking about her mom.

 

They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither saying anything until Lisa shook her head and cleared .

 

“I, uh… they need me on the other side.”

 

And with that Jisoo was left on her own again with longing and guilt rushing through her heart.

 

“Okay, almost time, how’s she doing?”

 

“I think she’ll be okay as long as the lyrics to her song are “Why is Jason here?’ and ‘Why is Jason here?’”

 

“Why is Jason here?” Somi asks pacing.

 

“Because I invited him.” Jennie answered and then continued after seeing the other girl’s face. “Look, Somi, most people dream of a chance to stand up to the person that’s keeping them down. This is yours.”

 

“Can somebody just tell me the first lyric of my song?”

 

“It’s ‘Tell me what I’m waiting for’” Irene answered and the other girl simply sighed as her name was called from stage.

 

“Okay, you are on.”

 

Somi shakes herself one more time and breathes deeply as she walks out.

 

“Did you really invite the of the ex leader?” Irene asked, both Jennie and her had turned around to watch her, their arms crossed.

 

“Hell no.”

 

Tell me

What I'm waiting for, I've waited so long (so long)

And tell me

What I've got to do to make right of my wrongs (my wrongs)

 

I'm on fire

Can you see me burning up?

I am reckless for your love,

“Chu, can you do me a favor?” Chaeyoung asks from her place next to Jisoo at the bar

 

“If it involves drinking and begging the hot bartender to forgive me then yes I can.” Jisoo said from her place at the bar. The girl really had not moved at all.

 

“You like Jennie and Hyeri right?”

 

“What exactly do you need, Chaeyoungie?” Jisoo asked, her attention moving from the bartender to her friend.

 

“I was hoping you could talk to them.”

 

Jisoo sighed. “Ah, Chaeyoungie. I’d love to help you… but honestly I don’t see the point. I like Hyeri and Jennie is my best friend. And does either one of us honestly believe she didn’t come here for you?”

 

I'm more than a shadow dancing free,

I know that you see me more clearly.

But it'll mean nothing, it'll mean nothing, it'll mean nothing without you.

 

And I see

I've been held back by the darkness in my mind.

And I see,

That I'll never win the war against time.

 

“You are so right, RIverfall is so much better than Milan.” Jisoo’s mother says interrupting them.

 

Chaeyoung looks at Jisoo silently asking her if she should stay nodding and walking away when the other girl sublty shakes her head.

 

“You are acting like an idiot.”

 

“And you are acting like a child. Difference is, I know my behaviour is ridiculous. Since returning to this god-awful town you have lost your way.” Her mother once again talks down to her, judging for her choices, believing that Jisoo just wasn’t enough.

 

“Is that what you think? Because I feel like I have finally found it. “ She says with conviction, and she can help but notice from her peripheral vision the girl she has been stalking all night come a bit closer to her as if she was watching over. “I am happy here. I have friends that care about me. I have people I care about here.”

 

“These are not your friends. Friends don’t use you.”

 

“Neither do mothers.” Jisoo doesn’t know why or how but knowing someone’s there backing her up gives her a rush of courage to stand up for what she wants.

 

“Oh please.” Her mother scuffs. “I have done nothing but help you. Your little company was struggling until you came to me. But if you think you can do it alone, just say the word, You’ll only lose more than a CEO… a mother.”

 

And just like that Jisoo knows her mother got her when she wanted her and she didn’t know wether to feel angry at the threat, or stupid for believing her mother actually cared about her.Most of all she was angry at herself for still doing everything her mother wants simply because the motherly love she craved so bad was somehow diminished by the mere presence of her mother. Angry at herself for still wanting to prove herself to her mom even when she didn’t have to…

 

“You are not a kid anymore. So grow up.”

 

“Mom…”

 

I'm on fire, can you see me burning up?

I am reckless for your love,

I'm more than a shadow dancing free,

I know that you see me more clearly.

 

“Hey, Im exhausted from spending the night avoiding you and Jennie, so I think I’ll catch a cab home.” Hyeri tells Chaeyoung who was standing by the crowd watching Somi’s performance.

 

“What? Come on don’t be ridiculous, I’ll drive you.” She responds taking a hold of Hyeris’s hand.

 

“It’s not ridiculous, Chae.” Hyeri snaps. “Ever since Jennie came to Riverfall, I’ve been acting like a crazy .” She confesses. “I’m neurotic, insecure, paranoid, jealous, and that is not who I am.” The frustration in her voice was clear, she was tired of it, she never has been that kind of person, not until now.

 

“I know that, so plea...”

 

“But it’s who I’ve become.” The girl interrupts. “I’m not stupid or blind. I mean come on, Chaeyoung! Jennie comes back and suddenly you start writing again? I refuse to be just another song in that notebook of yours.” With that she turns around to start walking away with the blonde trailing after her.

 

“Hey, Hyeri, wait.” She says, following after her . “Just wait please…”

 

“No!” She exclaims removing her hand from Chaeyoung’s hold. “I’ve been waiting for you, for the album. I moved here for you remember? So you need to figure out what you want.”

“I want you.” The blonde answers quickly, no hesitation.

 

“And I want you to stop being in love with Jennie.” Hyeri says seriously. “Looks like we are both screwed.”

 

But it'll mean nothing, it'll mean nothing,

it'll mean nothing without you.

 

Chaeyoung makes her way to Jennie’s office where she finds the girl sitting on the couch nursing a drink.

 

“You know what? Just rip the check. I’m moving offices anyway.” The girl greets her calmly, which only fuels Chaeyoung’s frustration more.

 

“Do you, by any chance, have an alarm that goes off in your head every time I’m happy with someone else?” The blonde asks and Jennie only stares at her confused.

 

“What?”

 

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” Chaeyoung yells. “I fly to LA, I ask you to marry me. You said no, so I moved on. Apparently so have you, so what the Jennie? Why can’t you just let me be?”

 

“Because I should’ve said yes, Rosie.” Jennie says softly and just like that all of Chaeyoung’s anger and frustration come crashing down. And Jennie…Jennie feels like a ton of bricks were removed from her chest because she is just so tired of fighting. Fighting against herself...of denying the truth. “Rosie… I was young and I was scared. And I did not realize that by saying I wasn’t ready, it’d mean that we would never be together again. Had I known that I would’ve said yes.”

 

“Jennie...” The blonde says. A warning on her eyes. A warning and almost a plead for Jennie to not go down this road. Not now.

 

“No, Rosie. I miss you everyday.” Jennie says with conviction standing in front of Chaeyoung, looking straight into her eyes. “And I’ve told everyone here that I didn’t come back for you. But I did. Of course I did.” The admission once again liberating the weight on Jennie’s chest and for the last brick…”I still love you, Rosie.”

 

“Jennie I…”

 

All of a sudden Jennie’s lips brushes hers. Not innocently, l but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. Chaeyoung wants to pull away before she loses herself but she can’t seem to…In this minty moment, her senses have been clouded and she can no longer think straight. “Jennie” she whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them.

 

“You still love me, don’t you?” Jennie whispers.

 

And Chaeyoung can still feel the tingling of her lips, can still taste Jennie on her lips…

 

“I… Hyeri is waiting for me.”

 

I'm on fire

Can you see me burning up?

I am reckless for your love,

 

“Buy you a drink?” Lisa said, the crowd was staring to die down and the thai girl had seen every interaction the brunette had with her mother, as much she was hurt by her there was a part of her that still cared for Jisoo’s well being.

 

“You think I should?” Jisoo asks, almost surprised that Lisa was finally talking to her. “I don’t want to embarass myself.” She says looking back at where her mother is. “Do you think I’ll end up like her?”

 

“Drunk and with no friends?” Lisa asks pouring Jisoo’s drink. “Nah, you got friends.”

 

Jisoo smiles at that and then gets serious again. “Are you really not going to give me a chance?”

 

Lisa stops for a second and sighs. “I really don’t know, Jisoo. I… I guess I just need time to figure it out.” She says honestly “Can you give me that?”

 

Jisoo nods sadly “Okay.”

 

“Thank you, Chu.” Lisa says softly, leaving Jisoo’s drink in front of her and walks away, leaving a lonely Jisoo to stare at her again.

 

“I came back for Rosie.” Jennie appears next to Jisoo who was now drinking her new beverage slowly.

 

“I know.” Jisoo says simply. “You’ve had your Chaeyoung stealing face since you picked me up from the airport.”

 

“What Chaeyoung stealing face?”

 

“The only face you’ve got.”

 

“Well it doesn’t matter now. She’s with Hyeri.” Jennie says in disappointment even after that kiss, even she could feel the love Chaeyoung had for her still there… it didn’t matter because the girl had made her choice.

 

“Honey…” Jisoo starts looking away from Lisa. “Hyeri doesn’t stand a chance. I have been the Hyeri in between Chaeyoung and Jennie, and it’s not a great place to be.” SHe says, reminding Jennie of the huge fallout the three of them had back in high school.

 

“Yes, well neither is the place Im at right now.”

 

“Are you kidding?” Jisoo scuffs. “The girl wrote a whole album about you. It has always been Jennie and Chaeyoung. You guys are meant to be together. it’s the way its supposed to be. So go and get your woman. And this time if she proposes please say yes.”

 

“Okay.” Jennie says with a smile, her heart settled after hearing Jisoo’s words. “But wait, If I came back for Rosie, why did you come back?”

 

Jisoo sighs and turns back around to look at the bartender. “I’m still figuring that out.”

 

Say it to me now honey, if you can, illuminate.

Illuminate, please... Illuminate, Illuminate please.

 

Jennie was sure that kiss meant something, she was sure she could feel Chaeyoung kissing back and she could feel the love rushing through her. And after hearing Jisoo’s words, there is no way she was letting Chaeyoung go, if anything the kiss convinced her that maybe just maybe she still had a chance.

 

So it is with that same conviction that she walks towards Chaeyoung’s house and knocks on the door. Her steps halting as a crying Hyeri answers it.

“Hyeri, I’m sorry. I never wanted…”

 

Hyeri stops her and shows her her left hand. And Jennie can feel all of her conviction crumbling down, could feel her heart breaking all over again at the sight of it.

 

“Chaeyoung asked me to marry her.”

 

But it'll mean nothing, it'll mean nothing without you,

it'll mean nothing, it'll mean nothing without you.