A/N. Poor Chae finally touches rock bottom :(  Good thing is the only way to go is up right? As per usual I did not proof read this.

TW: Mentions of alcohol/drug abuse

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“It’s okay if we are leaving right? I mean they are both big girls, they should be fine right?”

 

“It’s been a month and a half, Chu. I’m sure both of them will be okay.”

 

Lisa and Jisoo where both heading to New York to work something’s out about Sooya’s new line, granted Lisa wasn’t a designer but she was photographing the process for a photobook she was planning to release, plus this trip meant they’d be able to spend more time together without having to worry about their best friends.

 

“Yeah, you are right they should be fine.” Jisoo said still worried, “I mean Chaeyoung looked good after a month away.” She then said while they walked through the airport. “Jennie has been surprisingly calm lately.”

 

“Okay, Jisoo.” Lisa stopped them both in their tracks and grabbed the brunette by the shoulders so she could look at her. “They’ll be okay nothing is going to happen while we are gone, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Meanwhile on the other side of the gate their two friends were walking back towards the parking lot, each on their way their own car.

 

“So, it must’ve been good to spend time with your parents and Alice.” Said Jennie after a few minutes of awkward silence realizing they both left their cars around the same spot hence they were walking back together.

 

“Yeah, I think we all needed it.” The blonde nodded, her hands tucked into her jeans pockets to keep them from fidgeting. “Plus, the view wasn’t too bad either.”

 

“I’m sure it was beautiful.”

 

“So you and Irene are doing another record huh? That’s great.”

 

“Actually…” Jennie started. “I’ve been meaning to ask you it’s totally cool if you say no, but I was thinking, to cut down studio costs, maybe I would build a small studio in the office. But it’s your space so…”

 

“I think that’s great idea, I mean I’ll have to talk to my mom, but I don’t think there’ll be an issue.” Chae said, already knowing her mom would agree.

 

That marked the end of the conversation for a few seconds again and Jennie wonder when did they start having this awkward silences instead of the ones that used to be comfortable, it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t right.

 

“I don’t blame you, Jennie.” Chaeyoung said interrupting the silence, finally acknowledging the main reason why this particular interaction seemed to be too awkward.

 

“Chae..”

 

“At all for any of it.”

 

“I feel bad for you, I feel bad for Hyeri and I feel responsible somehow. And I hope this doesn’t come out as arrogant okay? But I know this hurt you.”

 

Both girls stop as it was time for them to part ways, the blonde touched the brunette’s shoulder briefly. “It’s fine, Jennie.” And with that the girl left, leaving Jennie to stare at her reatrating form.

 

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After a while of getting there Jisoo and Lisa get to the brunette’s apartment, or at least another one of them…

 

“Okay, you have 4k square feet on central park west. What is this place?” Lisa asked surprised as she had only been to the apartment on central park not this one.

 

“Well.. this is a good investment. It doubles as a crash pad when I want to party on the east village, plus my mother doesn’t know about this place.” Jisoo explained as she pushed the door open, both girls are surprised at the state of it, it was mess, there was trash everywhere, beer bottles, food containers, the couches where dirty, and other furniture seemed to be in bad shape as well.

 

“Somebody’s here.” Said the brunette as she walked in into the bedroom to see an old friend of her lying on the floor unconscious. “Rachel!”

 

Lisa walks behind her and sees the same thing, she looks around the room and sees pills and needles lying on the the floor acting quickly she gets to the girl. “Okay, Jisoo… I need you to get the shower going. Make it cold. I’m gonna need some towels. Rachel… can you hear me?” She calls out to the girl to no avail. “Jisoo, shower. Now.”

 

The brunette snaps out of it and head to her bathroom turning on the shower at the coldest setting, while Lisa follows behind and enters it, not caring about her clothes. “Come on, Rachel.. wake up, wake up.” She says patting her gently on the cheeks.

 

“I...I’ll get the towels.” Said Jisoo quickly walking out of the bathroom and made her way to the closet as she leans into it and closes her eyes trying to calm down.

“We need to talk about the model line up, the redheaded one is not suitable for the line, she needs to go.”

 

“So you are gonna fire her?” The brunette frowned. She had overlooked the model casting herself and she was sure all the picked models where suitable.

 

“Oh no, you are gonna fire her.” The woman dialed a number and passed the phone to Jisoo without looking at her. “It’s your company, darling. I just work here.”

 

That same night, Jisoo is at her place dining alone while she’s on the phone.

 

“Hey it’s me. It’ not gonna work for the fashion show.” She said trying to sound unaffected, cold, it was nothing personal, just business, she thought somehow it didn’t make her feel any better. “No. It’s actually not gonna work at all. i’m gonna have to let you go. It’s nothing personal, just business. I got to go.”

 

By the next morning she remembers walking up to the news that the girl had fell off the wagon and had a DUI. She was her friend and she knew how important this would be for her, yet she listened to her mother instead again.

 

A while later Lisa comes out of the bedroom while Jisoo’s cleaning the house. “Please tell me she’ll be okay.”

 

“If by ‘okay’ you mean she’s not gonna die, then yes. But no she’s not okay.” Lisa answers honestly watching Jisoo walk around cleaning stuff, knowing it was best to leave her be for now.

 

“Do I need to take her to the emergency room?”

 

“No, her color’s back, she’s breathing, she’s out of immediate danger. But… let’s just keep an eye on her for a bit longer, we’ll see.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Having enough she walks towards Jisoo and helps her with the trash bag she was having trouble with, and touches her arm in comfort. “Let me help.” She says softly, the brunette looks at her and sighs letting go of the bag and focusing on picking up the trash.

 

“She’s a friend from college.” Jisoo starts, really Lisa didn’t need an explanation she figured she was someone important to Jisoo by the way she reacted, nevertheless she let the brunette explain it’d be better in the long run. “I met her through modeling and when I started the line I hired her to model for the company. I haven’t seen in her in a while. I knew she had problems, but not like this. SHe started screwing up photoshoots and my mom insisted I let her go…” She trailed off and with that Lisa knew all she needed to know.

 

Jisoo blamed herself for this, and yes it might’ve been a trigger but that was it, she was not responsible for her choices

 

“I need to help her, what do I do?”

 

Lisa sighs, knowing no matter what she said the brunette would still feel guilty, but right now it was not time to have that talk. “Start by getting rid of all this. Don’t put in the trash.”

 

“Why?”

 

“When she wakes up that’s the first place she’ll look.”

 

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Chaeyoung was sitting on her writing room in her house sitting on her piano, a glass of wine by her side.

 

“I’m in my bed… and you are not here, and there’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands…”

 

Unbeknownst to her Seulgi had made her way in and was standing by the door listening to her.

 

“You said you care, and you missed me too...And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you.”

 

‘Not about Jennie my ’ Seulgi thinks and having heard enough she knocks on the door interrupting the other girl.

 

“Hey.” The blonde greets.

 

“Hey, coach.”

 

“How’s your key dancer doing?” She asked referring to their main dancer, who suffer a small accident in practice. Small talk… don’t you love it?.

 

“Well, if she could channel her stubbornness into her recovery, she’d be fine, but instead she’s focused on placing the blame of her accident on everybody else.”

 

“Mhm...and how about your recovery?”

 

“What are you talking about?” The blonde asks growing.

 

“I just wanted to come by and make sure you’re okay.”

 

“Aren’t you having a bbq in a couple of hours to tell us all about your the upcoming baby you and your wife are having? Oh that’s right there’s lot of things you should be doing.” Chae asked already knowing there was something else going on.

 

“Okay, number one how did you know?” Seulgi asked with a frown. “And number two there’s also a friend thing I should be doing.”

 

“Number one, you guys are not subtle...also you got drunk with me last night and spilled the beans… number two what friend thing?”

 

“Oh… then don’t tell Irene cause she’ll kill me, and the friend thing… you know she’s gonna be there.”

 

“I know, Seulgi, you have told me like six times already.”

 

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I can ask her not to come.” Yes, Hyeri was also Seulgi’s friend, they had become close whilst dating Chae but at the end of the day Chaeyoung was her friend first and choices had to be made.

 

“It’s fine.” Chae young says. “Who know maybe this is the time when she comes home.”

 

“Maybe..” Seulgi says, however is hard to not let her worries show as she away from her friend.

 

“How did it go?” Irene asks once Seulgi comes back to the car.

 

Seulgi groans and rubs her temples in frustration. “I’m having war flashbacks to high school…”

 

“Why?”

 

“So you know Jisoo and Chae used to date right?” She asks and continues after receiving a nod in response. “So here’s the thing Jennie and Chae where always the couple, from the moment they met you could see they were meant to be together, but somehow Jisoo and Chae became a thing and Chae swore plenty of times Jennie was just her friend, even if you could see from a mile away otherwise, Jisoo broke up with her because of it…you see Chae’s heart is in denial mode by default and it doesn’t matter how many times you tell her, if she doesn’t see it by herself she can live in that mode forever and that’s what worrying..”

 

“Because everyone can see she’s still in love with Jennie but herself?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“They’ll be okay, baby.” Irene says reassuringly.

 

“I really hope so”

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Jennie’s on her computer listening to some demos at her office space when once again someone arrives and Jennie’s swears if the new studio is approved by Ms. Park she’ll place a door to this office, this no door thing really is not working for her.

 

“How’s my baby girl doing?

 

“Busy.”

 

“Really? I thought your mini-me flew the coop.”

 

“Somi? Yeah she’s on tour, but that doesn’t mean my job stops. Did you know her album is number two on itunes?”

 

“Yeah, but you’re not itunes. You stalking Chae aren’t you?”

 

Jennie stares at him and closes her laptop.

 

“Oh come on. Don’t act like you don’t check her insta every five seconds to see if she has updated anything.” He says with a knowing grin, “You can’t fool me, J. Kim. The internet is a dangerous place.”

 

Jennie sighs once again, annoyed. “What do you want Bam Bam?

 

“Well I kinda need help locating a gift for little pokpak’s birthday and you are going to help me find it.”

 

“But..”

 

“No ‘buts’, listen I told big pokpak I could find a special edition playstation without even knowing if it was still available, and finding it will be like finding Willy Wonka’s golden ticket, so we got our job cut out for us.” He explains already waiting by the door.

 

“So ‘we’ huh?” Jennie asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, us.” He confirms and then claps a couple of times. “So chop chop, J. Kim, I’m gonna find that playstation and you are getting out of this gloomy office.”

 

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Jisoo is sitting by the bed still looking out for her friend, Lisa had basically force her to go sit down as she was going crazy with the cleaning, ultimately Lisa convinced her by telling her her friend might need a familiar face on her side which reminder her that she still to talk to Lisa about her knowing what to do in this situation… but one thing at a time.

 

“Well, well… Am I dead?”

 

“You o’d’d. You’re alive, but you’re really stupid. Rachel what happened to you?” Jisoo asked not really in the mood for jokes.

 

“I don’t know, life happened. I guess.”

 

“But… drugs?” She asked, when really all she wanted to ask was…’Is it my fault?’

 

“They just made feel better.” The girl explained. “They just made feel.”

 

“Why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you let me help you?

 

“We were friends, Jisoo. You fired me.”

 

‘Oh. So it was’

 

“I… I’ll get you some water.” Said Jisoo as she left the room, she needed to think, when she walks out she see’s Lisa was pretty much done throwing the remaining bottles in the sink and everything else was already in trash bags.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Asked Lisa as she hears Jisoo walk in.

 

“How’d you know what to do with Rachel?” Jisoo aks instead, not really wanting to get into her feelings just yet.

 

Lisa hesitates for a second before responding, ultimately turning around to look at the brunette. “Let’s just I’ve been there.”

 

“You had a problem?” The shorter girl asks, surprised.

 

“No. I’m saying I have a problem, Jisoo.” Lisa responds, not exactly how she pictured telling her but guess it’s time. “You ever wonder why you never see me take a drink behind the bar, or during our dates? Been sober 6 years.”

 

“Wh...what?”

 

“I was young and lost and I mixed up with the wrong person as a result.”

 

“How’d you made it back?”

 

Lisa leaned against the counter crossing her arms. “I had a friend. He helped me. I’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for him. He never gave up on me.” Jisoo’s gasp was hard to ignore but she continued on, they’ll have time to talk about her story later.” See, Choo, I get the whole ‘cutting off Rachel’ thing from the business side, but I’m struggling with the whole ‘friendship’ side.”

Jisoo sighs guilty. “You know my mother. She’s relentless when she wants something, and it’s easier to just do it than to fight her.”

 

“You ever wonder where you’d be if at some critical moment, when you needed it the most, your friends weren’t there for you” Lisa asks instead of once again trying to convince Jisoo to not listen to her mother, one step at a time she supposes.

 

“Can she ever be okay again?”

 

“I don’t know.” She said shrugging. “What she needs right now is rehab. That is the place that helped me.” She said giving her phone to Jisoo. “Their facility there is the best there is.”

 

“I have to step up for her, don’t I? She needs me.”

 

“Mhm..” Lisa walks a few steps to close the distance between her and her girlfriend. “Don’t give up on her, Jisoo, You’re better than that.”

 

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“I got you a corner piece with extra frosting.”

 

“I wonder what our first words would be.”

 

“Well it was either that or ‘It was just a story.’ but I think I’ve said the second ones to much, glad I led with the frosting.” Chae approached Hyeri carefully while the later was getting a drink.

 

“How are the songs going?” Asked Hyeri, ignoring her comment.

 

“Good.” She answered, getting the hint. “I, uh… heard the new demo for track 7 but… I’m just not comfortable with the tempo I don’t think it goes well with the lyrics.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll fix it.”

 

“So..”

 

“So..”

 

They both said at the same time, after a few seconds of silence.

 

“Listen I need to tell you something.”

 

“Okay…”

 

On the other side of the party Jennie was talking with Irene, congratulating her for the pregnancy, she was happy that she was able to get pregnant on the second try. She then tells her about all the demos she’s been listening to, she wanted to find a new artist asap.

 

“That’s great as long as you are not using it to hide behind.”

 

Jennie chuckles. “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Look, before the wedding Seulgi told Chae she shouldn’t marry Hyeri. Hell I pushed her to do so.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because she read her story, we read her story and when we did, we knew right away that she was still in love with you, whether she’s ready to admit it or not.” Irene said, honestly she was just tired of this drama and she just wanted to get this two together cause it was tiring to just be around so much heartbreak.

 

“It’s a story, okay? You can’t draw those kind of conclusions from a story.” So maybe Jennie hadn’t read the story, but Chae was right… it was just a story.

 

“Really? When I’m writing some of my subconscious always ends up sneaking in whatever is it I’m writing. I don’t even notice until I’m revising it. I think Chae is the same way.”

 

“Well, I watched her get up on the altar, and it’s clear to me where her heart lies, and if I can see it, I’m not sure why Hyeri can’t.”

 

Can two people really be that oblivious? Irene thinks, how is it that these two buffoons are still in denial, she sighed, she was two seconds away from locking them both on a room to get this resolved.

 

“I think she’s just afraid of the idea of you… your history with her. Think about how’d you feel if the roles were reversed.”

 

So maybe Jennie was in denial as well, everyone kept telling her Chaeyoung was in love with her, yet Chaeyoung kept choosing Hyeri everytime, she refused to get her hopes up just because of a story.

 

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Jisoo and Lisa were on their way to the office, they had postponed the meeting since Jisoo’s priority was taking Rachel to the rehab center, she wanted to talk to Lisa, but she knew right now the priority is another one...

 

“Oh, hello, darling.” Her mother said as they bumped into her in the elevator.

 

“Hi. I’m confused.”

 

“Of course you are, the meeting was moved forward. But don’t worry your input wasn’t needed.”

 

“This was my meeting, my new line.” Jisoo said serious.

 

“It was just business talk… way over your head. You wouldn’t have understood. So where have you been hiding all week huh?”

 

Lisa started breathing deeply and if summoning every bit of patience she had, because she was sure punching her girlfriends mother in the face was not a good thing to do. Jisoo on the other hand was fuming.

 

“i’ve dealing with some personal things, I saw Rachel remember? The girl you made me fire?”

 

“The junkie? Oh yes, don’t tell me you are upset about that darling, that was just business.”

 

Jisoo scuffed. “Well that’s not how I want my business to be. People deserve better. She..”

 

“See? This is why you weren’t included in the meeting today. You’re too emotional. That’s why I’m here.” Her mother said coldly.

 

“Now. You are here now. What about before huh? When I needed my mother were where you?” Thank God they were in her private elevator otherwise all the employees would get very good gossip today.

 

“For what?” Her mother scuffed and chuckled. “The cheerleading thing? Student president thing? Stop being childish. You got this company as far as you could and then you came to for help.”

 

“Rachel needed my help and you made me fire her.”

 

“You earned my help. Rachel didn’t earn yours.” Her mother said.

 

And that was the last . It was the last thing Jisoo needed right now, she was done listening to her mother, she was done playing by her rules.

 

“I earned it? A daughter is not supposed to have to earn her mother’s help… or her love! It is supposed to be unconditional!”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“You are fired.” She said next, leaving all three of them in the elevator surprised.

 

“What did you just say?” Her mother challenged.

 

“You. Are. Fired.”

 

“You are going to fire me and risk our entire company?”

 

“But is not our company. It’s my company you just work here remember?” Jisoo asked smugly., turning her mother’s words around.

 

“I am not an employee. I’m your mother.”

 

“I know. You’re fired.” She said pressing the button for the closest floor. “Now leave.”

 

“Woah.”

 

“Did I just do that?” Jisoo asked surprising herself. Did this really happened in an elevator ride?

 

“Yeah, you did, baby.” Lisa said proudly.

 

“Well, .”

 

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“We need to talk.”

 

“What are you doing here, Jennie?” Hyeri had left the party and now was in her hotel room packing so she could leave for the airport.

 

“Okay, this is going to be weird and inappropriate of me. But I’m kinda here for Chaeyoung and for you.” She admits from her place in the door. “Please hear me out.” She pleads as the she sees the girl about to open .”Because I know she loves you, and she wasn’t wavered from that. And yes she wrote about a comet, but in her nonfiction life, she seems very much in love with you.”

 

Hyeri sighs. “Have you read the story, Jennie?” She nods after hearing nothing from the other girl, she walks away and takes the printed story she’s had with her since the stupid almost wedding, she likes to torture herself apparently. “I didn’t think so because if you had, you wouldn’t be so sure who CHaeyoung loves and how much.”

 

“Hyeri… the story is fiction. Her saying ‘I do’ in real life was not.”

 

Hyeri simply gives the story to Jennie urging her to take it and read it.

 

“It’s not me who needs to make a decision about Chaeyoung. It’s you.”

 

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“So how do you feel, you stood up to your mother today?”

 

“Do I make things harder for you?” Jisoo asked instead of answering, they were cuddling on the couch in silence when Lisa broke it, but the brunette asked what she had in her mind instead.

 

“What?”

 

“I mean, I offer you wine when you come to my house, I drink in front of you, we all drink in front of you, I have all types of alcohol in my house, should I get rid of it, is it harder for you? Do I need to talk to everybody else as well? Do I…” She gets interrupted by Lisa’s lips on her, the best way to interrupt her if you ask her.

 

“You think too much, Kim Jisoo.” Lisa asked with a smile. “And to answer your question, no, you don’t make things harder, no, you don’t need to talk to anybody. I work at a bar Jisoo, people drink in front of me everyday, trust me, you are doing nothing wrong.”

 

“Are you sure?” Jisoo asked insecurely. “Because If you need something please tell me, I’m here for you, I… I’m not leaving you.” She reassured her.

 

Lisa smiled softly knowing today’s even probably caused havoc on the girls mind, oh when will this girl realize how amazing she is?

 

“I know. And if it makes you feel better, if I need you to change something about it I promise to talk to you, alright?”

 

“Alright.” Jisoo said and closed the promise with a peck. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

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Chaeyoung sits alone in the bar, three shots already in front of her, she feels numb, and she feel stupid, and broken and unlovable. She feels like basically.

 

Twice had she given a ring to somebody she loved.

 

She drinks.

 

Twice had she been the one convinced of the future.

 

She drinks.

 

Twice had she said yes to that future.

 

She drinks.

 

And it was twice that she had been rejected, twice that she’d had that love thrown back into her face.

 

She drinks.

 

The first one forgot about her along the way, the second one left her because of the firsts one fault, and when she thought the second one would come back, because she was sure she had convinced her that she loved her… turns out the second one was already seeing somebody else… a month a half later… that’s all it took to get over her. Was she really that forgettable?

 

Who knows how many shots she had taken by now, what was the point of counting. You know her life was going great, she had a girl she loved , two jobs she liked, her future set and it was all ruined when ‘she’ came back.

 

‘She’ couldn’t just have broken her heart. Oh no. She had to come back and ruin everything she had.

 

Her life was ruined and it was all...because. Of. Her.

 

Choosing the right path is never easy. It’s a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometime we fight through the regret and the remorse of our mistakes...our malice and our jealousy and the shame we feel for not being the people we are meant to be. And that’s when we find our way to something better… right?

 

“And his world would be whole again, and his belief in God and love and art would be reawakened in his heart.”

 

Those are the words Jennie has in her mind as she walks out of her office, before she sees a familiar blonde haired lump on the bar, frowning she makes her way there to see Chaeyoung passed out on the bar, countless of shot glasses in front of her.

 

“Chae, hey!”

 

The blonde girl barely lifts her up at the sound of her name.

 

“Come on.” Jennie says placing the girls arm around her holding her up as best as she could. “Come on.”

 

It takes a while but she manages to get her home safely, she carefully and respectfully helps her change into her pjs and tuck her in.

 

The blonde is now laying face down on her bed, as Jennie pulls the covers so she doesn’t get cold and sits besides her on the bed.

 

“Oh, Rosie,.” She whispers. “I didn’t this for you.” She confessed, her hand tracing her hair softly and against her better judgment she leans down to give her a quick kiss on the forehead. As she pulls away and heads to the door she fails to notice the blonde’s eyes had opened.

 

“Jennie…”

 

The brunette turns around in surprise and finds the girl looking at her. And the next words are the words she had been afraid to listen this whole time… it was like a knife had gone through her chest confirming her worst fear…

 

“I hate you.” The blonde said with nothing but disdain on her voice.

 

“I wish you never came back, you ruined my life.”