She stayed.

As Sehun started rummaging through his cupboards and drawers for cooking tools, Namjoo went over to see what Kihoon was up to. He glanced at her with a snarky smile. Bright, wide eyes of intense curiosity. He didn’t ask why she was still here. Just returned right back to his building blocks. Forcing a piece that didn’t quite fit on his tower.

Namjoo looked over her shoulder to see how Sehun was doing. What he was planning to make. The busy man he was, was occupied at the stove. The overhead vent hummed noisily. He didn’t look awkward in the kitchen anymore.

Namjoo’s eyes swam away from him. Sweeping over the floor before making their way back to him. His expression so focused. Like he was in his own world. Far, far away from them. Intent on completing a personal assigned task. He wouldn’t accept failure.

It had been so long since she had seen him this way.

Before the restaurant opened Namjoo slept in on Sundays. A privilege given to her when they moved out of his parents’ home. She’d wake to pots and pans rattling. Find Sehun busily going through his phone for cooking instructions. The kitchen a littered mess, because he didn’t know what he was looking for and what ingredient was what.

Sehun wasn’t a perfect cook. He knew nothing when she married him. His parents hadn’t reared him to enter the kitchen fully informed about what a spatula was. The first time she taught him to slice meat he nearly cut his finger off.

But he appeared content. His dishes ranging from absolutely bland to downright salty. Yet Sehun still tried despite the numerous failures. That had touched her.

“Go away, mommy.” Kihoon gently pushed her. “I pway.”

Compressing her lips, Namjoo got to her feet. Slowly heading Sehun’s direction. Twiddling with her fingers, anxious.

Approaching she asked, “What are you making?”

A hint of butter brushed her nostrils. The faint sound of sizzling tingled her ears. In the pan was a mix of Chinese broccoli and chicken.

“Your butter broccoli dish.” Sehun answered. “I substituted chicken instead. It probably makes for a lighter breakfast.” He hesitantly glanced at her, quietly asking, “That’s ok, right?”

“Oh…yea.” She glanced at him then to the pan.

Sehun’s eyes veered her way then to the stove. To her again, “Do you want to taste it?”

Shaking her head, Namjoo said, “It’s ok. I’ll trust you.”

She was left standing awkwardly. Fumbling to do something, so she searched for plates and utensils.

“Kihoon, put your toys away and come eat,” Sehun called out putting the dish in the center of the table. There was a smaller bowl at the head of the table for their son. Calling in a deeper tone, “Kihoon!”

Pouting, Kihoon dropped his model airplane and sauntered toward them. Grabbing him around the waist Sehun lifted him up toward the sink to wash his hands. When his feet touched ground again, he hurried toward the table pushing himself up onto his chair. Picking up his fork he poked at the chicken. Tearing it apart and plucking it into his mouth with his hand. Then he went poking at the meat again.

“Eat your green, too.” Sehun chided. “Don’t shove it aside.”

Reaching over he used his spoon to move the vegetable Kihoon had discreetly placed on the edge of his plate back into the center.

“Don’t want eat!” Kihoon whined.

“Kihoon,” Namjoo scolded. “Listen to your daddy. You have to eat it if you want to grow big.”

Complaining, Kihoon kicked his feet under the table. Pulling on his sad face again and threatened to cry.

“Finish your chicken,” Sehun bargained, “and eat one half of that broccoli.”

Sniffing and whimpering, Kihoon stabbed at his food. Slowly shoving bit by bit into his tiny oval mouth. When he finished his end of the deal, he dropped his utensils and darted back to his toys. There was plenty of leftover food on his plate.

“You should try getting him to eat on schedule.” Namjoo suggested. “What if he doesn’t eat lunch in school?”

“Let him starve.” Sehun muttered. Frustrated with Kihoon’s behavior with food, too. “He’ll look for food when he’s hungry.”

Namjoo glanced toward the living room where Kihoon was full in play mode. So, it wasn’t just at her place. Kihoon threw his tantrums here, too.

“How are you taking care of yourself?” Namjoo turned to her food.

“I’m fine.” Sehun replied. Poking at his food, too he asked without the lift of his head, “You?”

“I’m always at the restaurant, I just eat there.” Namjoo said.

A moment of quiet elapsed. Namjoo glanced up to find Sehun studying her. The next second he stirred his food up, saying, “That’s good.” before taking a spoonful.

Sehun didn’t let her do dishes because of her hand, so she joined Kihoon. Sitting not too far away watching him set up his train tracks. Never minding his mother nearby. They had started this schedule of spending time with him every other week when they divorced. Sending him back and forth. Kihoon had most likely adjusted to their schedules, but did he understand yet?

Glancing up when she heard the faucet go off, Namjoo returned to her son. “Mommy’s going now. Give me a hug?”

Kihoon leaned over to give her a halfhearted hug then hurried back to his toys. Sighing, Namjoo stood. Meeting Sehun halfway to the door.

“Thanks,” Namjoo said, “for the meal.”

He didn’t quite meet her eyes. His gaze floated somewhere between her hand and the space between them.

“Sure. No problem.” Sehun said.

She reached for the knob and pulled the door open. “Take care of Kihoon.” It only felt right, so she added with hesitance, “And uh…yourself.”

He smiled a bit. “I will. You, too.”

Remaining in the doorway Namjoo glanced up at him. Hoping one more look would be a week’s worth. She didn’t just pull out Sehun’s picture to remind herself how he looked. Reminding herself daily she had initiated the divorce. She had to let him go. The tiny times that belonged to them were only shreds of memories.

She shouldn’t go back.

“Call me if anything comes up,” Namjoo said. “Bye, Sehun.”

“Namjoo,” he hurriedly called before she had the chance to walk away. She peered over her shoulder.

A part of her heart ached when she saw him hesitating. Looking at her. The increased gap between them. At her again, like he was afraid. A step behind the doorway and he couldn’t move forward, as if there was a barbed wire keeping him back. Just like the electric fence that wound around her always.

“Next time,” he bravely looked at her, “will you cook for me?”

And suddenly, it felt like she’d plunged into the deepest ocean. The deep dark depths refusing to release her. Everywhere she looked around her fumes of past memories lit to life.

Home. With Sehun. The table they shared. The meals they ate together.

This time it was her turn to stare at that space between them.

“We’ll see.”

⸎⸎⸎⸎⸎

A maybe could turn into a yes. Sehun could wait.

Dropping onto the couch with a heave he stared up at the ceiling. Smiling like an idiot. Closing his eyes and replaying the moment he opened the door for Namjoo that morning. His breath had caught in his throat.

He had never forgotten how pretty she was. It hurt to just look and not do anything else.

Sehun opened his eyes when Kihoon climbed onto the couch. Staring down at him he asked, “Daddy sleepy?”

Grinning, he said, “I’m not sleeping.”

“Pway with me,” Kihoon leaned over him. “Pwease!”

Sehun winced when Kihoon’s spit landed on his face. Wiping his face, he moved Kihoon aside and rose to sitting. “What do you want to play?”

“Hide and seek!” Kihoon excitedly exclaimed.

Sehun chuckled. “Then I’m going to count to ten. You better go hide.”

He shrieked happily and immediately dashed away. Plopping back down Sehun closed his eyes. Reminiscing Namjoo that morning. Appearing so pretty. Staying to eat with him for the first time in six months. The entire time his heart had beat maddeningly.

That morning he had woken up super early. Combing through his place for dust and dirt. Vacuuming, mopping, wiping down the counters, and scrubbing the stovetop clean. He’d had his cup of coffee and some cereal.

When would he have another chance like today?

Sehun spent an hour playing hide-and-seek with Kihoon, who hid in the same spot five times. Screeching each time Sehun found him. Sehun let him run away and chased him each time, and when he caught Kihoon he hurled him in the air. Playfully tossing him onto the couch. Where each time Kihoon became more excited each round. Inciting Sehun to lift him into the air and throw him down again.

Sehun was so beat at the end of the hour he didn’t want to play anymore. Kihoon whined and complained. Crying defeated until eventually he fell asleep.

Sehun just caught a moment’s break chugging a cold glass of water when the doorbell rang. Afraid Kihoon would wake up at the noise he hurried toward the door.

“Glad you’re in!” Doyoon greeted. His brother-in-law.

Behind him Hayoung smiled. “Sorry if we interrupted anything.”

“Not at all. Come in.” Sehun opened the door wider for them.

“Your son is here?” Doyoon asked peeking into the living room where Kihoon was out cold on the couch. Sehun had covered him in a blanket assuming they’d rest this afternoon.

“Sit down.” Sehun invited. He only had one sectional and an armchair. Not much space for guests. He didn’t often get guests but Namjoo and Kihoon.

Carefully lifting Kihoon up Sehun went into his room. Sighing sleepily Kihoon’s head rolled against his arm as the blanket hung over him like a drape. Cautiously setting his son down on the bed, Sehun backed out closing the door but not all the way. Returning he took a seat on the armchair. 

“We just stopped by to give you this,” Doyoon leaned forward offering an emblazoned card. “It’s embarrassing, but my parents are very persistent about it.”

Sehun took in the title Branch Manager in front of Doyoon’s name. “You got promoted. Congratulations.”

Flustered, Doyoon grinned, “It’s nothing big. We want the whole family to be there. My parents are expecting to pull off a big event. Bring your son, too. The more the merrier.”

Sehun pulled on a smile. Gripping the card between his hands. “Then, I should make time for it.”

“Yes, thanks. That means a lot to me.” Doyoon said. “You probably want to rest now, so I won’t bother you much longer.”

He stood, so Sehun did too. Walking them to the door without saying much else.

“Then have a good day,” Doyoon turned to bid his farewell. “I’ll look forward to seeing you.”

Another smile and a nod. Doyoon was first to turn down the hallway. His back already to them.

“Everything all right?” Sehun wondered. “You didn’t say anything back there.”

“Of course, it’s fine.” Hayoung assured. Glancing at the card he still held. “Come, Sehun. I’ll get Namjoo to be there, too.”

As Hayoung retreated to follow her husband, Sehun watched.

To be honest, he didn’t know much about his brother-in-law. They didn’t regularly hangout. Didn’t even go out to grab drinks together to blow off steam after work. Uhm Doyoon was always out of town on a business trip or he was pulling off overtime or was unavailable because of work reasons. It was never clear. His parents usually brushed his absence at family events off. He’s such a hardworking man we shouldn’t bother him; perhaps next time he can come; he must be having such a hard time at work don’t bother him. Then they would tell Hayoung to treat her husband better.

His sister was just two years younger. They attended the same schools. He had shared the same building with her for two years before he would graduate and move on. In that duration of time, he had no clue Hayoung was seeing someone named Doyoon.

Anybody would at least think that a brother would know about his sister’s boyfriend. He hadn’t. Or that after they got married and he joined the family the brother would get closer with that man. Sehun hadn’t.

It didn’t bother Sehun that Doyoon didn’t bother asking him how work was. Ask about Kihoon. Wonder if he was up to anything today or not. Begin the small talk to settle everyone down comfortably.

Uhm Doyoon was as mysterious as the first time Sehun heard of him. They swore they were in love the day Hayoung introduced Doyoon to the family. He had a good background. Great manners. Well-to-do parents and he was going into business. Such a capable man would provide an astonishing future for their beloved daughter. His mother swooned over Doyoon every possible moment of the day. Repeating around him and Namjoo constantly that Hayoung had it so good.

They handed Hayoung off to Doyoon without regrets. From the day of the wedding on Hayoung could only live in bliss and his parents were so darn happy. She had reached that god tier in life.

Compared to Hayoung’s great life Sehun, the son they had entrusted their dreams with, couldn’t even touch their daughter’s feet.

But Uhm Doyoon, Sehun never knew what to think about him. One moment he held his head too high. The next, he was reserved and standing in the back to let others shine.

Sehun glanced one more time at the card. Branch Manager Uhm Doyoon.

Embarrassing he had said then quickly interjected his parents into the topic to tone down the self-flattery. Yet he had beamed with overwhelming pride.

Uhm Doyoon hadn’t given Hayoung a chance to speak, as if he was here for himself and she was nothing but a wad of paper he’d brought. Since their marriage Sehun rarely saw his sister. His parents upholding the belief that she wasn’t in the family anymore; it didn’t make sense for her to visit so often.

If there was anything, Sehun could only trust that Hayoung would reach out. He already knew too well how it felt when an outsider meddled with someone’s marriage.