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Sehun finally left after Kihoon woke up and had a hyper fit. Running around her restaurant when she closed for the day. Yelling at him to be careful as she helped with cleanup. Locking the doors at eight she drove home with Kihoon, filled the tub with warm water, threw in some toys for him, and let him play after she completed his wash routine.

Tonight, he didn’t throw a fit with her when she told him play time was over. Becoming all loveable. Giving her freebie kisses and giggling. They shared laughter as she dressed him.

“Mommy.” He said. “I sleep with you?”

Patting his , she reminded, “But you’re a big boy.”

“I baby.” he cutely convinced. Falling against her he clung onto her shoulders. Staring up into her face, he pleaded, “Pwease! Pwease, mommy.”

Gently slapping his , she lifted him. “All right, you big baby.”

He giggled loudly when she put him down on her bed. Turning the lights off she crept in with him. Laying with him until his breathing evened and he was deep asleep. Affirming that he wouldn’t wake up like a bomb had gone off Namjoo grabbed a change of clothes and went in for a quick shower.

By the time she returned Kihoon was still sound asleep. His legs and arms were stretched out sparing her no room to comfortably lie down. Forced to the edge of the bed Namjoo settled onto whatever bit of the pillow she managed to snag. Lying on her back she watched Kihoon’s chest move up, move down. Past him she spotted the glow of lights on the other side of the curtain appear like faint orbs floating.

Remembering the camera Sehun had brought for Seol. The company camera he used for assignments. To test it out and familiarize himself with its functions he had brought it home the first time he acquired it.

“Come on,” he had urged. “I need to know how to work this thing.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Namjoo had complained. She’d been folding laundry. Her bun was messy. Infant Kihoon had puked on the shirt she was still wearing. She didn’t have makeup on and felt like a ty mess when Sehun had come home with the Nikon slung around his neck.

“Pose for me.” he said.

Namjoo heaved a sigh. Frowning, “I don’t feel like it. I look like a mess. Can’t you see?”

“Put on something nice then,” Sehun had told busily touching the camera. “And some makeup. I’ll wait for you.”

So Namjoo had. Dabbing on some quick makeup in hopes of covering the dark bags Kihoon gave her, then threw on a dress she pulled from the closet. Sehun was waiting for her outside the bedroom like promised eagerly preparing the Nikon. The newbie journalist still excited about his job.

That was Sehun.

Noticing her he came over to grab her hand and pull her into the room positioning her in front of the window. “Stand here. The lighting is better here.” Holding the camera up to his face he directed, “Turn this way and don’t forget to smile.”

He’d made her pose in the same position numerous times while experimenting with the buttons and the flash. Letting her go when he was satisfied. She never did see the finished product. Assuming he’d deleted the pictures in order to save space on the SD card for work.

He must have or he would have given her a copy. Flipping onto her side she gazed at Kihoon who looked just like Sehun. Mesmerized by the fact that he was really her child. He had come from something they had done.

She wouldn’t take anything back even if given the opportunity to a better life. Namjoo didn’t regret anything.

Softly running her hand through his hair, she smiled. Curious what Kihoon would think if she or Sehun started seeing other people. Would Kihoon understand or would he throw a fit?

Would a four-year-old understand these kinds of things?

Had Kihoon accepted that mom and dad did not live together?

She wondered if Sehun wanted to see other people. If he had met a woman he felt attracted to.

⸎⸎⸎⸎⸎

“Hey.” A female voice called out.

Sehun turned from the elevator to look around. Spotting Seol waving as she moved toward him. Several eyes settled on them. No one said anything.

“I was wrong. The restaurant was actually really nice,” Seol said. Smiling somewhat anxiously. Hoping that would amend what she had said about Namjoo’s restaurant yesterday. “The pictures for Lilac Palace came out really well. Do you want to see?”

He glanced down at the camera. Taking it from her he flipped through the pictures on the tiny screen. Indoor shots. Outdoor shots. Candid photos of the cook and the part-timer. None of Namjoo.

“By the way, I didn’t know the restaurant belonged to your ex.” Seol said.

“She opened it when we got married.”

“I see,” Seol murmured.

Handing the camera back, he commented, “The photos are good.”

He stepped into the elevator without waiting for her. Quick to follow she took the spot on his left.

“Then,” she wondered, “that means your son is staying with her?”

“We share custody of him,” Sehun replied. Glancing at her, “Why?”

“Oh, no, nothing.” She shook her head. “So…that means you’re not watching him this week?”

“No.” he watched the elevator doors slide open to their floor and stepped out. Thinking about today’s article, his emails, and the editor he was waiting to hear from.

Grabbing his arm, she pulled him to a stop. Letting the other coworkers drift past. Receiving stares and murmurs. His throat grew tight at this familiar feeling.

“That means you’re free tonight,” Seol stated. “Lets go out since you passed yesterday.”

He pondered over what to say. How to nicely reject her.

“Don’t say you can’t because of work,” Seol slyly pointed a finger at him. Grinning, “I know you’re caught up with everything.” Starting to walk away she reminded, “I’ll see you after work.”

Sehun was left standing there feeling like he’d just lost a battle of wits. Staring at the entrance to the office wondering how this might go.

Gathering himself he walked toward his desk. Ignoring the guys discreetly looking at him. Most likely wondering, why him? What good was he? A divorced man with a kid. What did Seol see in him?

Sinking into his chair and moving his mouse to wake the computer up Sehun massaged his forehead.

Late afternoon when the mass left for lunch including Seol, Sehun finally left his desk. Stopping at the snack station to make himself a cup of coffee. He felt drained from the stares burning into his back the entire morning. The men sneaking judgmental glances at him as they passed his desk.

Just when he lifted his steaming cup of instant coffee, a nudge from behind sent the steaming liquid spilling over his hand. Gasping from the pain he set the cup down. Looking over his shoulder to see another coworker. A newlywed if he remembered. Sehun had received an invitation to his wedding. He’d gone out of respect and left after five minutes of standing around awkwardly.

“You gonna bang her tonight?” Lee Byungwoo leaned over to ask.

“Seriously,” Sehun hissed snatching a napkin to blot the mess on the counter before rinsing his hand.

Bumping into his back, nosy Byungwoo asked, “You’re probably gonna get lucky tonight. You lucky bastard.”

Annoyed Sehun dumped his cup of coffee and restarted on another pack. Grabbed another cup, tore the plastic, and shook out the brown powder.

“But hey,” he clicked his tongue with a wink, “if you need a , I have a stash in my car.”

Sehun continued to ignore him frowning irritated.

Laughing amused, Byungwoo nudged him. “What’s the matter? Hey, all the guys gossip about her when they can. What guy can resist checking out that . Plus, her are huge.”

“Shut up,” Sehun shot walking past. “Aren’t you already married?”

“Jesus, man,” Byungwoo called after him. “At least I’m being nice unlike the other guys!”

Rolling his eyes Sehun stalked back to his desk. Unable to imagine how he’d been plastered into such a ridiculous situation.

At the end of the day Seol really did wait. Meeting him by the elevators. Joining her they rode the elevator down together. She spoke of a place several blocks down. Why don’t they walk?

“It’s not so chilly anymore,” Seol mused. “Spring is just right around the corner. I can’t wait for it.”

The sky was dimming, but it was not entirely dark. Street lights were turning on. Other businesses surrounding them had already lit up. They were walking under a world of soft yellow glows. A pretty reticent view. Wreaths the city council had decorated light poles with had been taken down. Tiny piles of snow were already disappearing. Soon cracked concrete would start reappearing along with a flow of people day and night.

Anywhere else Seol could be someone’s gorgeous woman. Strolling under the cloudless sky holding hands with someone she liked.

But not him.

“Since your son isn’t with you this week,” Seol began, “do you just head straight home after work?”

He nodded. “I like to catch up on my free time when I can.”

“Then when your son is with you, who watches him when you work? Do you drop him off at your ex’s restaurant?”

“I drop him off at my parents’.”

“That would make sense,” Seol nodded. Peering up into his face, she asked, “Do you plan on having other children? I’m sure Kihoon gets lonely.”

Swiftly avoiding her question, he pointed to the restaurant they came across, “Is this it?”

Caught off guard, she turned grinning, “Yes, this is it. Lets head in.”

Where they went wasn’t a casual restaurant. There was a romantic ambience. An ambiguous air of secrecy beneath the soft cascading lights. Each light bulb falling entirely on every table draped in red. A singular rose in the vase at the center to amplify the sweet mood. Quiet voices resonated around him. Every table spaciously set apart giving dining couples privacy. This was the tease before the heat got hotter.

A waiter walked them to a table and handed over leather bound menus. There was a special section for wine. Once he poured water into wine glasses the waiter left to let them decide their order.

Sehun couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised that Seol had brought him here. She looked like a woman who’d want to make her first date night memorable. But this was not a date for him.

When the waiter returned, he ordered the common steak. Seol some Italian dish. No wine for them. Then the waiter disappeared leaving them alone.

“I hope this isn’t too much,” Seol shyly twined her hands together under the table.

“It’s fine.” He nonchalantly replied.

“Actually, I just wanted to have a nice dinner with you,” Seol admitted. “I hope you don’t feel like I forced you to come.”

“I just want to ask,” Sehun said, “why me?”

She smiled shyly. Some girly smile he’d never seen her wear before at work. As if she had taken off her armor and put it away before coming here. Like she was just a regular woman without the professional strut.

“I think you’re admirable,” Seol said. “I just learned that you share equal custody of your son. Most fathers I know either want full custody or none at all. And seeing yesterday, it seems like you still have a good relationship with your ex.”

Coming clean, she confessed, “My parents are divorced, you see. They can hardly stand each other, so I think Kihoon is really lucky that both his parents love him. My dad wouldn’t even look at me after the courthouse. To this day I’ve never seen him.”

“I’m sorry.”

She smiled embarrassed. Waving him off, “Of course not. I just didn’t want you to think I’m weird.” She laughed anxious.

He didn’t know what to add. “You seem really different.”

This time she grinned wider. “Do I? That’s because work is work. If I don’t act my part, then the others will look down on me.”

Sehun glanced at her feeling sorry about the things Byungwoo had said at the snack station. “Do you know what they say about you?”

Her gaze slid to the corner of her eye. Her lips thinned. Looking at him she admitted, “I know.” Seol bit her lower lip, “But I didn’t ask you here expecting to sleep with you afterward.”

He gently laughed. Awestruck that she would actually say what everyone had been thinking.

Glad that the mood had lightened, Seol said, “But I would like to get to know you better, Sehun. Then maybe we could see if we like each other.”

Reverting to her shy self she glanced down at the table after holding his eyes for a second.

“I’m actually not looking for a relationship right now,” Sehun told. “It would be awkward for us to date and break up and see each other every day at work. I don’t want that.”

“What if you got to know me?” Seol wondered. “To see how far we could go. I’m interested in you, Sehun.”

Had he ever been confessed to before? This was his first time and it was flabbergasting. How should he react?

“Lets get to know each other,” Seol persuaded, “and if you say no later, I’ll respect that.”

Had he ever gotten anyone’s hopes up before? He didn’t know and he didn’t want this to be his first time doing it.

Sehun never intended to get personal with Han Seol. Being friendly coworkers was different from meeting outside of work to enjoy outdoor activities.

So when they went to pay, he intentionally flashed his wallet. Showing off Kihoon’s picture as he pulled out his card.

“He’s so cute,” Seol adored. “How old was he when you took this?”

“His second birthday,” Sehun explained. Sliding the picture out from the window slot he handed it to Seol for a closer look. Revealing, in the process, the other photo hidden behind Kihoon’s. He didn’t miss the swift movement of her eyes when she returned Kihoon’s picture.

She said nothing.

They walked back to fetch their cars. Chatting about current work assignments before she waved goodbye and disappeared inside her vehicle. Sehun drove home perplexed by Seol.

It’d been just six months since he separated from Namjoo. He was still trying to find his footing. Returning to silence. Sleeping in silence. Waking up to silence. Accompanied by silence when Kihoon wasn’t with him.

Arriving home he immediately headed into the shower, then dropped into bed with a heave, and stared up at the ceiling. His mind whirled back to early memories. When they were married Namjoo might roll over onto his arm or she’d murmur for him to be quieter; she was sleeping, Kihoon was sleeping.

In those days he tried his best for his tiny family. Namjoo was exhausted from setting up her restaurant. Ensuring the early stages of it proceeded smoothly. She would be vexed by the end of the day, so Sehun always tried coming home early. Picking up Kihoon from his sister’s, because she had been his best bet over his parents.

He knew his parents constantly called Namjoo asking why she never let them watch Kihoon instead. He belonged to the family. They were his grandparents. If she married into the family, she should show respect by dropping off Kihoon when she wasn’t available because of her restaurant. But it was all on him. The decision had been his.

Sehun wasn’t angry with Namjoo. He never had any animosity toward her. Not even when she snapped and asked for a divorce. Giving in because her mother had asked him to free her. This wasn’t the kind of life they intended for her.

The night they first met might have appeared like a one in a million occurrence to Namjoo. In fact, he had followed her from one room to the next at the night club. Entranced by her melodic movements. Dancing on delicate feet as if she existed in her own universe and she wasn’t in a building with deafening music, drunkards, and adults high on drugs.

Sehun was never an outgoing enthusiast in his days. He kept to himself. He was quiet and reserved. He behaved, but he also wanted to be like everyone else. Joining the flow. Be invited to dates, hookups, hangouts. He wanted to be flashy and stand out.

He wanted to be liked. He yearned to experience what everyone else his age already had. Sehun didn’t want to be the one left behind.

When he went out with the newbie journalists after receiving their first paycheck, Sehun did something he could never take back.

There was Namjoo on the floor. Dancing by herself in a short short skirt that rode up her thighs and made his throat tighten. Her short top accentuated her feminine parts. A glance and he saw her cleavage disappearing into where her s bulged.

That night she bumped into him on her way into the room she’d just come from. Her hypnotic movements ceasing momentarily as she shot him a second glance, as if telling him to move aside. In that moment the night club music pounded harder. Beating in sync with the speedy rush of his blood.

Sehun had grown hot neck down.

“What?” he suddenly asked.

Namjoo had noticed him. Crossing her arms, she stepped toward him. “What is your name?”

“Huh?”

The mousy curve of her lips made him hotter. “Do you want to get out of here with me?”

“What?” he must have sounded like an idiot.

“I’m asking if you want to sleep with me, dummy.” Namjoo said.

When his mind left him standing like a fool, she asked, “I’m saying, do you want to have ?”