Playing With Fire

He looks different. Taeyeon can't really put her finger on it but something is shifting within her boyfriend. He's changing.

In the silent room, sitting on the ergonomic waiting chair about two meters away from the hospital bed, Jiyong's gaze falls onto Mrs. Kwon's still body as if he wants to come close and wake her up. It feels like he's trying to tell Mrs. Kwon something and expecting the patient to say something back. The sight tugs at the melancholy string in Taeyeon's heart, luring her to come close.

"Hey." She moves from the door and comes into the room. Out of sweet habit, she comes close and rubs the back of his head. "You okay?"

"Uh uh." He wraps his arms around Taeyeon's waist and leans his head on her stomach.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He looks up and sighs. "A few minutes ago I held her hand and her fingers tighten in my hand. She held my hand, Taeyeon. My grandma held my hand."

"Amazing, right? She has been progressing so well." Cupping his face, Taeyeon smiles down at him. "We're moving forward with the next course of treatment in a week."

He stands up, enveloping her in a hug. "Thank you."

"There is a whole team behind this, you know?"

"Hmmm." He says nothing, swaying gently on his feet while his arms tighten around her. "Have you eaten?"

"Are you planning to take me out?" Letting both her body and soul fall into his warmth, Taeyeon smiles. Maybe it's all in her mind. Nothing is changing. Jiyong still sounds like the loving boyfriend she loves with all her heart.

"Nope. You'll end up asking me to cook at home anyway."

"Let's go." Taeyeon tugs at his hand, pulling him through the door. "Visiting time is over an hour ago anyway."

Jiyong laughs, following along.

"Sehun! I'm out." Taeyeon waves at the intern standing behind the nurse station.

"Yes. Dr. Kim." Sehun looks up from the chart he's reading. "Are you on watch tonight?"

"No. Yuri is. Make sure you brief the supervising nurse if you want to leave this station even for a moment."

"It's Nurse Lee. She needs no briefing. Have a great night, Dr. Kim. You too, Mr. Kwon."

"You asked me to cook but using the dinner table to work." Protesting, Jiyong pushes a thick book aside so he can put a wine bottle in an ice bucket and two wine glasses on the table.

"Dr. Shim asks us to co-write a paper on your grandma's breakthrough. I need to finish this entry before Monday." Taeyeon stops typing into the laptop. "Whoa, wine. What are we celebrating?"

"Us? My grandma's recovery?" Jiyong kisses the top of her head before walking back to the counter. "Both, maybe?"

"You just want to get into my pants." Gathering the books and papers into one pile, Taeyeon then saved her work before closing the laptop. "You can't. It's that time of the month."

"I know." Jiyong grins while coming back with a dish of lamb chops and grilled scallions on a wooden cutting board. "Since the day you threw a vase at me during one particular episode of PMS, I've had your period schedule memorized to avoid unnecessary injury."

"Good boy." Taeyeon grins, standing up to retrieve cutlery from the drawer near the fridge. "Oh my, there's dessert too?"

"Something I experimented on this morning." Jiyong puts a huge bowl of colorful dessert on the table. "Tutti Frutti Pannacotta with lime sauce."

"Okay, you're definitely up to something." Taeyeon sits down and goes straight for the dessert. "Spill!"

"Oh, come on. Can't a man cook a feast for the love of his life?"

"Fine. You can tell me later." Taeyeon closes her eyes as the velvety cream melts in . "I can't wait to devour all of these anyway. Alcohol first, please."

Jiyong smiles, reaching for the bottle of chilled wine.

"Is it me? Am I suffocating you?" Taeyeon puts her glass of wine down. All the deliciousness left in her palate quickly dissipate thanks to Jiyong's announcement. The stare she's serving him might be strong but her heart suddenly feels weak. How could he make this decision?

"No, baby. Come on." He gets up from his chair and comes around to hug her from behind. "I love you. I can't live without you."

"Then why planning to study abroad?"

"I'm sorry, babe. This is me being selfish. My grandmother is waking up soon. I want to be able to look her in the eyes when she does. I want to study more. I want to show her how great of a businessman her grandson can be."

"You can do that here. This country is not lacking in prestigious universities. If you're looking for work experience I'm sure you can choose from any businesses your family own."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid." He rests his chin on the top of her head. "Stuck inside the power of the family's name and money. I need to earn my own experience, Taeyeon. I need to do it before my grandmother wakes up and moves me around as she wishes once more."

"I hate this." Hot tears threatening to fall from her eyes, Taeyeon moves away from his warm hug with the excuse of gathering the dirty dishes. "It feels like an excuse you make just to get away from me."

"You know I can't really stay away from you. I'll call you each and every day. We can still visit each other too."

"I'm a trauma surgical resident, Ji." Do not bother trying to hide her disappointment, Taeyeon puts the dishes in the sink with a little more force than usual. The spoons clang loudly against the plates, echoing Taeyeon's frustration. "Full day off is a luxury I can barely afford."

"We'll make thing work. I promise."

"Why now? Why ruining our perfect life."

"When I'm with you, I am perfect." He comes behind her again, hugging her once more. "When I'm alone though, I feel useless."

"But you look happy." Turning around, Taeyeon can feel her disappointments bubble up into anger. "You cook. You experiment in the kitchen. That pannacotta was like a bowl of heaven. You garden too. There's a fountain in the backyard that you built with your own hands, Ji. You are not useless."

"Those are hobbies, Taeyeon. I need to do something that makes me feel worthy."

"And that needs to be done a million miles away from me?"

"Yes. But not because of you. You know I'd love to take you with me. In fact, come with me, Taeyeon. With your talent, I know you can work in any great hospital there."

"Oh wow, you are such a jerk." Taeyeon pushes him away. "A selfish jerk."

"I am very sorry, babe."

She walks away. Grabbing his keys and his jacket she walks out of the house.

He calls out her name.

She pretends not to hear him.

"Hey. I was looking for you. Sooyoung said it's your day off."

"Yeah. I have nothing to do at home so I clock back in." Taeyeon smiles a little at Yunho who's leaning against the door jamb of the resident changing room. Her body is tired but she has decided to work again. Thank god she only had one glass of that damned wine because otherwise, she wouldn't be allowed to take another night shift.

"Don't work too hard."

"I need this." Sighing, she pans her glance at him quickly and notices the backpack on his shoulders. "Discharging?"

"Yeah. Finally out of the sickbed." The man smiles too. "I'm still subjected to home rest and therapy though."

"It will pass quickly. Before you know it you'll be holding scalpel again." She takes out her working sneakers from the locker and brings them to the couch.

"I haven't properly thanked you for saving me. Thank you so much, Taeyeon."

"Dr. Park did all the magical stuff." Taeyeon shrugs. She has handed all Yunho's post-op care to Sooyoung to minimize their interaction. A conversation with him is the last thing she needs at the moment.

"Dr. Park said if wasn't for your quick action in the ER I wouldn't have made it. Please accept my gratitude."

Sighing, Taeyeon stops trying to tie her shoelaces and looks up from the worn-out couch. "You are welcome, Yunho. I hope you can get back to work soon."

"Thank you. See you next time." He turns around, staying still for a few seconds then turns to face her again. "Taeyeon..."

"Yes?"

"I'm living with Max now."

"Oh." Of course, a question about Yunho's wife and daughter pops inside Taeyeon's mind. A question she chooses not to ask out loud.

"He throws me a little celebratory dinner tomorrow. I hope you can join us."

The invitation catches Taeyeon off-guard. She gapes, doesn't know how to say no.

"It will only be Shinye, Sooyoung, and a few other hospital staff. You can bring a date if you want."

In her scrub pocket, her phone beeps. Taeyeon takes it out, seeing a red flash of emergency alert from the ER. "I have to go." She quickly laces her shoes up. "ER call."

"Of course." Yunho nods. "It's a pity you chose trauma over cardio but I know your talent will work magnificently anywhere, Tae."

"Thank you." Upon standing up, Taeyeon has no choice but to make eye-contact with Yunho. He looks as cool as usual. Those eyes still give a strong caring vibe that Taeyeon still can't quite hate.

"See you at dinner." He smiles, turning around and walking away.

"Byun Baekhyun, 17 years-old, GSW to the chest." The nurse hands Taeyeon the chart as soon as she enters the ER. "He's put out more than 200 ccs of blood over the past hour."

Taeyeon scans the chart quickly before gently peeling off the bandage on the patient's chest. An angry red bullet hole glares at her, demanding a careful but quick response. "What is it with people and gunshot wound lately? This is what? The fifth since Yunho?"

"The sixth, Dr. Kim." Sehun, the intern, supplies from the other side of the bed.

"It hurts. It hurts so much!" The patient wails, grabbing Taeyeon's arm. "Help me. I don't want to die."

"Don't worry, Mr. Byun." Sehun tries to calm the patient down. "Dr. Kim here is a skilled surgeon. She has saved all six of GSW patients before you."

"We will do our best, Mr. Byun." Taeyeon smiles while gently prying the patient's hand off her arm. "Sehun, push five milligrams of morphine. Aidan, where's the chest film?"

One of the nurses quickly hands the image of the chest scan to Taeyeon which she then observes intently. The bullet doesn't seem to break apart inside but it clearly comes too close to the heart. "Alert Dr. Park, let her know we're bringing another GSW patient up."

"Yes, Dr. Kim."

"Dr. Kim. We're not moving."

"You think?" Taeyeon narrows her eyes at Sehun. She doesn't mean to sound so curt but the sour conversation she had with Jiyong earlier still bothers her inside. The fact that the elevator has come to an abrupt stop while she and Sehun transporting a patient doesn't help her mood at all.

"What's wrong?" The patient croaks from his bed.

"It's fine, Mr. Byun." Maintaining her cool, Taeyeon pats the patient's hand. She had been in this situation before. It usually only takes seconds for the elevator to get back on.

"Are you sure?" The young patient stares at the light above his head as it flickers a few times.

"Yes. It's just a technical glitch." Taeyeon turns to press the button to the OR room once more. Before her lean finger makes contact with the shiny surface of the button, the source of light above their head goes off.

"G... Glitch?" The beads of sweat on Mr. Byun's forehead shine under the small rectangular emergency light embedded on the wall.

"Service elevator has back up generator. We'll be up and running soon." Faking a courageous smile, Taeyeon presses the alarm button. She has never been trapped in an elevator before. Not with an emergency patient.

"How long it usually takes for the backup generator to work, Dr. Kim?" Sehun asks after one full minute of silence. "We need to get Mr. Byun into the OR soon. He has lost a lot of blood."

"I know, Sehun." Hissing at the clueless intern, Taeyeon turns around and presses the alarm button a few times. She waits for a few seconds. Then add a few more seconds. Nothing.

"Isn't the intercom work?" Another question slips out of Sehun's mouth.

Shaking her head, Taeyeon stops pressing the intercom button.

"Should we call someone?"

"Yes, Sehun. Yes." Taeyeon fishes her forgotten phone out of her scrub pocket and holds it out to the dim light. There's no reception.

"I have no reception, Dr. Kim." Sehun waves his phone from across the bed.

"Goddamnit, Sehun." Taeyeon can't take it anymore, grabbing the front of Sehun's scrub she pulls him over the bed before whispering into his ear. "Choose your words carefully around our patient."

"I'm sorry. I'm in panic."

"I know. Don't ing show it."

"P... please don't whisper." Mr. Byun coughs as he talks. "You guys scare me."

"No. No. No. It will be okay, Mr. Byun." Holding the patient's hand, Taeyeon can see that his face is getting paler. "Help is on the way."

"His pressure is dropping, Dr. Kim," Sehun whispers again, pointing at the monitor attached to the bed.

"I know." One glance at the amount of blood in the clear bag hanging on the side of the bed tells Taeyeon that Mr. Byun's inner bleeding is getting worse by the second. "Try prying that damn door opens."

"Alright." Sehun hurriedly comes to the door then try to open the doors with his bare hands.

"It's... it's bad, isn't it?" The patient asks as his eyes getting droopy.

"Take a deep slow breath, Mr. Byun. Like this." Demonstrating a slow breathing technique more to calm herself than to help the patient, Taeyeon lets go of his hand and comes to Sehun's side. "You pull that side while I do this side."

"On three." Sehun jams the tip of his fingers into the edge where the two elevator doors meet.

"On three." Taeyeon copies him, ready to pull from the other side. "One. Two. Three!"

"Aaaargh," Sehun screams. The muscles of his biceps pop as he pulls hard.

"It's not working." Huffing, Taeyeon stares at how red the tips of her fingers are after such exertion.

"What do we do now, Dr. Kim?" Sehun pans a worried look at the patient.

"I don't know, Sehun. I don't know." Taeyeon presses her hands on the doors, letting her forehead hit the cold surface.

"But.... but, you're the resident, Dr. Kim. You should know. I'm just an intern. I meant, the patient is slipping away. We don't even have the proper equipment. We can't-"

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