Sadness

The Night and the Fae
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Momo was cold. Her mind was at odds with itself. Not only had she hurt Dahyun, but she’d failed to protect her too. No, she hadn’t failed. She’d just been powerless. Overcome by hunger that wasn’t her own. Frozen by a fear that wasn’t her own. She’d been in control of nothing, not even her thoughts. That fact only strengthened her shame. 

Dahyun was warm in her arms, but it wasn’t a comfortable warmth. Sweat shone on her forehead and her eyes had rolled back into her head. Momo saw flickers of the colour, only to see they were bright red. Yet her hair was turning grey. So was her skin. 

She heard them coming. Whatever illusions the witch had cast had disappeared now. What sort of spell had been cast to silence the area? From the inside, as well as the outside?

“Momo?” Nayeon appeared in front of her. Her eyes flicked from her to the fairy in her arms. “What happened?” 

“The witch,” her own voice sounded distant to her, “the werewolf attack, she,” the words cut off. Tears welled up in her eyes. “She made me attack them.” 

Irene lay a way’s away. She wasn’t bleeding, but there would definitely be bruising from how hard she fell. Even if Momo hadn’t been in control, she’d gone for the human first. She knew it was spurred by her jealousy. Had Dahyun not stepped in when she did, the girl would have died today. She shivered. 

Then Sana arrived. Her eyes widened when she saw Dahyun. 

“She’s grey,” she said. “Why is she grey?” Then she was kneeling in front of them. Her hands went to Dahyun’s face. They were shaking. “Momo, why—” her voice broke off. “Please tell me this isn’t what I think it is. Please.” 

“It’s fear, but not like that.” Momo couldn’t look her in the eyes. Now that she had felt fear that wasn’t her own, Momo saw it so much more clearly in another. In Sana, it was absolute terror. She'd known that Sana cared about Dahyun, but not this much. 

She watched as Sana brushed a thumb over Dahyun’s cheek. When Momo looked up, she almost had to look away. The intensity in Sana’s gaze made her feel like she was seeing something she shouldn’t. 

“We’ll get her home. Both of them.” Jihyo said. Behind her, she saw the rest standing by the witch’s body. 

“You need to let her wake up,” Nayeon said. 

Momo did, feeling the magic in her words flow over to the sleeping girl. Her eyes opened and she groaned. 

“What do you remember?” 

Irene blinked twice. “We were walking, talking about the future, then Dahyun stopped. She,” a frown appeared, “was blown backwards by something.” Her eyes locked on the fairy. They widened. “Oh my god,” she stood, rushing over. 

“Calm down.” Nayeon gripped her arms. The girl relaxed immediately. “Did you have anything to do with this? Did you know that witch?”

Momo watched as Irene’s eyebrow furrowed, but her eyes glazed over. 

“Witches don’t exist. Unless you count the Wicca and all that, which I don’t.”

“And fairies?” 

She shook her head. 

“So you’re not with Dahyun for anything other than, what?” Nayeon’s eyes turned blue. 

“I like her.” The girl smiled, as though in a daze. “How could you not?”

“She’s at least fine,” Nayeon sighed, “you’re sore because after you saw Dahyun, you did your exercise routine a little too intense. That’s all that happened today.”

“I don’t have a routine.” 

Sana stepped in. “You tried it out. Now forget we talked to you and that you saw us. Forget you were here. Go home.” Her eyes glowed purple. 

Irene stood and began to walk. 

Nayeon’s shoulders slumped. “You’re so much better at this than me.” 

Sana smiled slightly. “It’s my natural charm.” The smile disappeared when she looked back at Momo. On her cheeks were leftover tears, but she'd got herself back from the desperation, at least partially. “Hey,” she squeezed her shoulder, “it’s okay. Let’s go home.” Then she stepped back.

Momo stood, Dahyun limp in her arms. Again. 

When they reached the house, Momo wasn’t feeling as cold as before. Dahyun wasn’t warm anymore. She ran up the stairs, putting her on her bed. 

Sana was at her side. “What is it?”

“She’s absorbing the fear.” She drew away. “We don’t even know what her limit is.” Her eyes burned again. This time she let the tears fall. 

Then arms went around her. “It’s okay,” Sana repeated. “This wasn’t your fault.” 

Momo let herself be held. How could Sana say this to her? She’d been terrified Dahyun had been lost just minutes ago, and now she was comforting Momo. The one responsible for this.  

“Are you listening to me?” She pulled away to look at her. "It wasn't you."

How could she know? She had no idea what had happened.

“I knew what I was doing, exactly as I do now, but my thoughts weren’t working.” Only when Dahyun had brought her back, did she realise it. Only then had Momo known that she was out of control.

“Exactly,” Sana said. “They weren’t working. You weren’t in control.” Her eyes were glassy. “So,” she raised her eyebrows, "how can that be your fault?"

“I could have fought it.”

“We don’t even know if that’s possible.” Her eyes went to Dahyun. “She’ll tell you.” A pause. “She already told you.” 

Momo just nodded. “What if she leaves?” Just the thought made her chest ache. 

The other girl’s grip on her tightened. “Don’t think like that.”

Momo closed her eyes. 

I brought this here. She didn’t want to tell Sana what Dahyun had said right before she fell asleep. Those words were a clear confirmation of what the fairy thought about the situation. And as much as Momo didn’t want to accept it, she prepared herself for the words, ‘I’m leaving’, to reach her ears again. 

______
Dahyun woke up incredibly sore. There was a sweet taste in . The healing potion. It was slowly working. She wasn’t sure in which world she should be. In the physical world, her blood vessels burned, as though an infection had spread there. But when she was in the emotional one, a whirlwind of grey and red surrounded her. She could still see through it, but the excess emotions made her dizzy. It was impossible to remain in either for long. 

Then the pain from her blood drew to the forefront of her mind. Tears began to stream down her face. She had felt this pain before. Emotions had been forced into her, at such levels that it went into her blood. None of those emotions had been against the backdrop of fear. Now that the cold was coupled with the heat of anger, it was a terrible contrast.

The door opened. Someone was at Dahyun's side in an instant. Sana. There was too much clutter in one part of her vision, but she was able to see concern in brown eyes. 

“Can I do anything?” The girl cupped her face.

Dahyun's tears were brushed away. Since they were not stopping, the movements didn’t either. Dahyun found it enormously comforting. Then she remembered how her emotions affected her scent. It didn’t take much thought to change the emotions that entered the air. It also didn't hurt. She continued to project more calm than fear or anger.  

“I don’t think so,” Dahyun sighed, “this is something that must heal by itself.”

“Where else does it hurt?” Sana’s hands were wonderfully cool. The eyes that held hers never wavered. They were only gentle. Dahyun hadn't appreciated enough of wonderful it was to be looked at like this again.

Dahyun laughed. “Everywhere. There is anger in my blood.” 

“Is that what that smell is?” A tiny smile appeared. “You’re like a fireplace.”

“I suppose so.” She didn’t quite understand how her scent was related to emotion. Was every part of her connected to the emotional world? “Is my hair red?”

Sana shook her head. “Grey, but one eye's red, the other grey.”

Back to where she’d started. More or less. 

Sana was scanning her eyes. Her brow was furrowing. Her thumbs lingered on her cheeks. 

“What?”

She drew her lip between her teeth. “Are you leaving?” Her expression shuttered and Dahyun couldn't read it. 

The thought hadn’t crossed her mind yet. Her body certainly wasn’t in the condition to do so. She could take some of her sadness into her blood. It would work to bring her to a proper baseline. But work like that would need time. She’d have to be slow and she would need to be alone. There was no telling what might happen if she made a mistake. 

“You’d let me?” 

“You’re not trapped here.” Sana tried for a smile, but it died quickly. “Well, you aren’t leaving until you’re healed.” 

Silence. Sana wasn’t looking at her. 

Just don’t lie to me.

What could she say to that? She’d be honest. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Dahyun admitted. 

She blinked once. “Okay.” Then she wiped away more of Dahyun's tears. Dahyun still couldn’t judge what she was feeling from her expression. Sana was hiding it. “How bad is it?”

“Bad,” Dahyun replied, “but I've felt—” No. She couldn’t say that. 

Sana’s expression softened—saddened. One hand lingered at Dahyun’s jaw. 

“Will you ever tell me how you got these?” A thumb brushed across the skin of a scar.

Dahyun felt her heart quicken. She winced as the blood in her vessels moved quicker. 

Sana drew her hand away. “Did that hurt?”

“No,” she shook her head, “I just—it’s all sore.”

“Do you need another healing potion?” The vampire started to stand. “We gave you two, but tell me how to make it, and we’ll figure it out.” 

Her heart swelled for the care the girl was showing her. 

“Won’t help, but thank you. I’d need something that can soothe every vein, artery, and capillary to help me there.” 

Sana giggled. “You’re gonna bring Biology into this?”

“It’s everywhere! In this world at least, so of course I will.” 

A small moment passed. Dahyun thought of yesterday’s events. At least she hoped it was yesterday. A witch who had corrupted a werewolf and then Momo. Momo. 

Don’t thank me. Those were unfamiliar words, but they were tied to emotions she knew. Very well. 

“How are,” Dahyun started. “Is—”

“Irene's fine. We got her to forget about yesterday. Momo is okay, she’s,” Sana hesitated. 

“Feeling guilty.” 

She nodded. “But the way she described it, that was an enchantment.” A frown. “Nothing I’ve ever seen before.”

“Did the witch have any other things with her? Not just potions, but,” Dahyun paused. How could she describe the talismans? How could she do so properly?

“Coloured stuff?” Sana suggested. “Grey, red, and green?”

Right. They had given the witch happiness. Teresa’s. Dahyun’s as well. 

“We wanted to destroy them, but I didn’t know what that might do.” Her fists clenched. “You told Momo you could have died yesterday. I didn’t know if any of the fear would be absorbed.” 

Dahyun smiled. “You were right to hesitate. Helen had had such a thing. I didn’t glean much from it, but I destroyed it.” It had been agony, but it had to be done. She couldn't leave it anywhere for someone to find, as the surroundings would be poisoned by the fear. She would have been lost if she'd absorbed it. So she had to choose pain. “Did any of you feel afraid handling it?” 

“We were for you,” Sana gave her a look, “but it was just uncomfortable to be around it.” 

Carefully, Dahyun tugged at the emotional world, combing through the red and grey. In Momo, all of the foreign predatory emotions were gone and there wasn’t as much fear as there had been before, but it was still there. In the other girls, she saw curls of grey and crimson. None had absorbed the green. The bad emotions tended to invade a person.

Then the smallest rush of electricity ran across her face and down her spine. It pulled her from the emotional world. She was met with hard eyes. 

“Don’t take it back. You can’t.” 

Dahyun wanted to protest. She wanted to say that those weren’t emotions to have, but she knew Sana was right. She would take it all later. There were other things that needed to be done before. 

“Where are the talismans?” Dahyun asked. “I have to see them. All of them, but don’t touch—wait.”

Then she raised her arms, gritting her teeth as the movement brushed against internal injuries. Then she rushed into the emotional world. The three emotions were easy to find. They were incredibly concentrated, vibrant in her vision, and familiar. She forced their auras into the physical world and pulled. 

“Away from the door,” she said. The other girls had come into the room by now. Momo stood by the door. She looked away when Dahyun caught her eye. She didn’t have to read her emotions to know that the guilt ate away at the vampire. 

The anger, fear, and happiness all came in as a mess of different coloured strands. Those strands barely clung to the wood of the talismans. The red looked like blood, the grey almost silver, and the green filled her with a sense of longing. She brought the last closer, turning it over. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it. She nearly reached for it, but hesitated. What if this was what they wanted? Was it purely coincidental that two of the strongest emotions had been given to a single witch? None would know the intricacies of lacing one emotion with another, but she couldn't take that risk. They had found a way to take emotions. They might have found a way to poison them too.

“Destroy them,” Dahyun said. “Completely.”

Gold confusion shone brightly in the air. 

“Why?” Sana’s hands were already starting to crackle. Dahyun was glad she was ready. 

“Won’t that one help you?” Mina asked, nodding at the green one.

“I’ll explain after they’re gone. All of them.” She nodded at Sana. 

The hairs on her neck rose. There was a sharp crack, then two more. Dahyun jumped at all three. Then came the pain. 

Her heart plummeted, sinking down, suddenly weighing twice her body. The heat surged, but with it also the cold. Her body froze, but her blood was on fire. She screamed. 

All she heard were their voices. She couldn’t make out the words, but hands held her steady. Probably so she wouldn’t make existing injuries worse. 

As the fire took over the ice, she was afraid her blood might actually start boiling. It wasn’t as though she wouldn’t survive it, but it would bring her even more pain.

Then two hands closed around her wrists. A less pronounced cold seeped into her. It was like that of sadness, but without the melancholy. It soothed her.

Her vision was tinged with red and blurred with tears. Dahyun took a breath once. It felt too cold in her lungs. She coughed, turning her head away from whoever was in front of her. She had a good guess who. 

“What was that?” Sana’s voice trembled. She sounded further away. 

When the world cleared, Momo was looking at her, brow furrowed.

“Nothing serious,” Dahyun said. Her voice didn’t sound very steady. “That was my mistake. Sometimes that happens.” 

She was grateful her captors hadn’t figured out the pain destroying emotions could cause. It hurt immensely if you were attached to them, far worse if they were her own. Sometimes it was better to keep one’s emotions, no matter how terrible, than to destroy them. That was why she would never part with the black, red, or blue within her. 

“Well, stop getting yourself hurt. Try an hour first.” Nayeon came to her other side. She touched Dahyun’s forehead. “One minute you’re hot, the next you’re cold.”

“Emotions fluctuate." Dahyun pulled the blanket closer, though it wouldn't do much to help. "That's going to continue.” 

“For how long?” Nayeon's eyes were filled with concern. Dahyun didn’t like seeing it. Nor did she like seeing it in any of their eyes. They couldn’t change anything, so there was no point in directing their worry at her. 

“I’m not sure. The injuries will be healed by tomorrow,” she said. “But my blood,” she trailed off, “I’ve never had warring emotions in it. Only ever calm or sadness, warm or cold. But not some exchange between freezing and hot.” As if on cue, the anger flared. A whine left her, but she tried her best not to move. “Stop looking at me like that.” She blinked away her tears. “You can’t do anything so go on with the day normally.” 

None of them moved. 

“Please go,” Dahyun repeated. “I feel like I’m a patient.” Then the cold came. She tensed. Fear made her heart pound harder. The anger would be even worse next time around. It woul

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hblake44
The ending is here! Your support had me writing a lot of it in one go and I've never written so much all in one go. Thanks so much for reading this story and being patient enough to keep up with it!

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A_B_J_Ch #1
Chapter 43: A gem, truly! The universe is very well detailed, the characters are consistent, deep and naturally progressing within the story. This will definitely make it to my list of stories to read again and again.
I especially appreciate the difference between the nations. And how those differences are addressed.
I am curious to what is the base for the fae language. I may try to compare it to some of the human or fictional languages to quench my curiosity.
My only confusion lays with what happened to Dahyun's family. Maybe I missed it somewhere in the text. But I did not catch why they would not be able to make it to the "court" scene at the end.
But it is a minor detail, which may or may not be explained in my second read-through :)
Pallas
#2
Chapter 43: I finally end this story. Wow, that was a journey, a long one.
I have so much to praise about the writing and development but I can't put it on the right words.
Just know that you make a excellent job here, author-nim. Even though I came only for the "saidahmo" tag (lol) I stay for the universe that is showing here.
I would love to read more about TWICE in that universe, such as Dahyun finally having some happiness after all the pain she came through. But if we don't have more of this world, it's ok. This fanfic worth every secon I spend reading.

Again, thank you so much for writing this, author-nim. Stay healthy!💜
So_Dry
#3
Chapter 43: Hi! I am not sure if I ever left comments here before, but now I feel more at ease doing so. It took me three times to read the story fully to grasp what I needed. The first time I was going through it, confusion was dominating, I had a great deal of questions circulating in my head. It was hard to grasp the flow of the events and so I was struggling to put the pieces together. Characters conversation sometimes were bundled and I misplaced them many times. It brought more disappointment throughout my reading journey. But I kept going at it despite those feelings I had.

What attracted me in the story was the new concept of fantasy you have introduced, though initially when I came it was for Dahyun main rule in it, but I grew more interest and anticipation for her struggle/dilemma when it came to acting on emotions. It was ongoing at the time, and when I finally read the end, I felt more lacking and dissatisfaction surged mostly.



I took a good break until I decided to come again and revisit the story. This second attempt filled so many holes I initially had in me. The grasp on the reasons that lead to such events were much clearer and I had finally connected the dots to form a good flow of events. And even though I had some questions answered, there was a portion that was left scattered and perhaps I was hesitant to search through it. The emotional part of the story was a challenge on itself, but it's needed to be grasped and understood. A part of me ignored the fact I couldn't translate those emotions been discussed throughout the chapters, and when I reached the end again. I still felt a great deal of discomfort as I knew the emotional part is what's the story is mostly made of. I was convincing myself that it wasn't needed to have full clarity on and I would just be okay without it.



It took me a long while until I decided to come back. I was determined to not miss anything this time and make sure to make effort on the emotional part specifically while reading. I still carried a desire to skim through it, but I was able to stop myself from doing so. And to do that, I created a note dedicated to colors and their correlations to the emotional world. Even included a scent list. The results were shocking, though it shouldn't have been because I knew how that contributed to my confusions. I came to appreciate the story even more after this. You had me thinking and immersing myself on how emotions actually worked. Throughout my break time between chapters, I sat down and thought through all decisions that been made, specifically one's by Dahyun. It had me think that I could be just as lacking as her, specially when it came to the reactions she witnesses based on emotions felt in certain events for certain people. Another part of me couldn't help but see it fit so well to be lacking. As if it carries much simpler answers than those that carries more questions in it then resolution. But the complications been presented showed how being in such state is wrong in itself, specially if you knew how the others actually felt and will feel depending your responds.

The wording in the story was nothing I ever read in fictions but it made sense for it to be that way. Can you believe that your work has built a certain amount of calm within me? Not that I never had it, but this gave me more reasons to reconsider and backtrack my emotional responds. So many topics been discussed here and emotions been fully explored through the dialogues. It's been a worthy journey that I would gladly go down through it again, and I will.



I would like to thank you for what you have gave us and introduced. It was a much appreciated knowledge to imagine and feel through those characters. Being able to present it alone is enough to have me carry so much respect for you. While indeed some of us comes for the pairing, but mostly I get more invested when it touches real life struggles. Yours was one to open many eyes on how really emotions works and what kind of questions and consequences it carries and arises. For that, you have my deep gratitude!
Selina1715
#4
Chapter 2: Oh? Is someone behind Dubu?
Shade4149 #5
Chapter 43: So good loved every second
Shade4149 #6
Chapter 30: This is so good I was so happy to see the completed version here when I was waiting on Ao3
dkdldb #7
Chapter 43: I don't usually read fantasy stories, but this was absolutely amazing. Really loved the plot flow and portrayal of characters in this!
Van1212 #8
Author did you see Dahyun's MBTI test result ? It matches so well with the way you decided to portrait her in this story, it is amazing.
Btopinkforever
#9
Chapter 43: I got to admit at first I was here for Saidahmo but as the story progressed my mind started to come here for the plot and writing. This story was like something I needed in my life. I don’t know why but it was. So thank you so much for writing this. I can go on forever talking about this book but I will keep you from my emotions haha Anyways I personally love how you ended this because it’s not a perfect ending for them but it’s the most realistic ending I’ve seen. Meaning the characters had their ups and downs and they still had problems but like in real life they figured some out but some will still take time. Wow I at expressing myself and writing haha I’m glad you left the chapter like this!
Btopinkforever
#10
Chapter 42: Surprisingly I get where Dahyun is getting at and if she did kill Rila and Yrest then that would’ve probably been the ending point for her. So I’m glad she didn’t do anything.