“Aneue! Aneue!” 

Sakura pivoted on her foot, looking back over her shoulders, at the source of the frantic taps of small footsteps in the wide corridor of their traditional wooden house. Her hollow eyes showed a shimmering glint as soon as her sight landed on her scuttling younger brother whose height barely reached her chest when standing.

“Yoshiki…” She gave him a warm smile before crouching and giving him a pat on the head as she ruffled his hair in the process. She could feel the smooth black locks of the boy slide effortlessly at her fingertips — one of the few traits they share as siblings. “Didn’t I tell you not to be too formal with me? It’s been years ever since you had the lessons about honorifics and you stopped calling me Nee-chan. I’m still not used to it. You’re making me sad.”

“No! I want to call you aneue because you deserve to be respected this much!” Yoshiki grinned at her, eyes turning into thin crescents and the lone dimple on his left showing.

Sakura had to stop the urge to pinch his mochi cheeks. She chuckled. “Even though Nee-chan sounds more affectionate?”

“...b-but...it sounds cooler...” The young boy started frowning, not wanting to understand whatever her sister meant. Instead of looking at her sister’s eyes, he glared at his feet as his own way of refusing. 

Sakura hummed while playfully pouting at her brother. “Don’t you think calling me Nee-chan is still a lot better?”

“No.”

The older girl faked a sigh. “Aneue sounds so stiff and it makes me lonely. Do you want your sister to always feel sad?”

“F-fine!” The young kid grumbled, looking to his side while pursing his lips. “Nee-chan, you’re so mean.”

The teenager chortled before engulfing her younger brother in a tight hug and kissing the crown of his head affectionately. “Nee-chan just feels distant if you use aneue.”

“But…” 

“No buts!” Sakura tackled his brother with tickles, attacking his sides while grinning at him. “I won’t take a no as an answer!”

“Ah! Nee-chan!” Yoshiki’s giggles filled the space they were in. “Stop! Hahahaha! I get it! Please! Hahahahaha! I can’t..! Hahahahahah!! S-Saku-nee!”

Sakura looked at her wheezing brother sprawled on the floor with a triumphant smirk on her lips. “Hoho, what did you just call me?”

The young boy burst out in high-pitched laughter. “Saku-nee!”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Sakura smiled brightly. “Hey, do you want to sneak out to the arcade today?”

Yoshiki’s eyes sparkled in expectations. “Yes!”

“Then let’s go!” She grabbed her brother’s hand and snickered, making their way to the secret passage they had discovered years ago.

In her nineteen years of existence back then, the older girl never expected she would be so animated with her expressions in front of her sibling. She had been trying so hard to make others recognize her to the point of her, almost losing her sense of identity from faking her own persona too much just to reach others’ expectations. But acting or not, in front of Yoshiki, it didn’t matter anymore.

If she was a genius, her brother is on a whole new level. At such a young age of ten, he could understand his surroundings and see through people’s intentions — a sly and cunning little devil to a scary degree. He was a child with almost inhumane intelligence, trained to be as cold as ice like everyone else in their household yet he was also as pure as an angel in front of his one and only sister. The young boy would bare his emotions and remain vulnerable to the sole person he trusts, the only one who truly cared for him in their household.

He doesn’t trust anyone.

He doesn’t trust his parents.

They wouldn’t trust even their parents.

Sakura has always been an exception to his little rules which closed off his heart from the adults’ deceitful selves. He would smile sweetly at his older sister, hug her when he felt like she needed it the most, kiss her cheek when she achieves something good when others ignored her, pat her head (or at least try to) when she feels so lost. Yoshiki would do the exact opposite to outsiders.

Sakura knew of that, of how much the two of them depend on each other.

But it all changed.

Yoshiki was the one who let Sakura stay sane, her dearest little brother but she ended up abandoning him because she was weak, weak unlike her brother who was so strong despite the unbelievable pressure put on his small shoulders right after he was born.

Sakura sniffled.

She was selfish, so selfish that she left her precious sibling at the hands of starving hyenas. Blinded by anger, hate, and envy when she stormed out of the suffocating place she once called home, wandered around Tokyo for years until she decided to fly to Korea at Hyewon’s suggestion. All that she left him was a tear-stained paper with her own shaky handwriting.

ごめんね、芳樹。ごめんね。

She thought back to the time when she last saw Yoshiki.

Tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t believe it. She felt like a hypocrite; leaving her brother even though he never left her side when she was at her worst. Now, the important person she left is being consumed by sickness, his days numbered.

She looked at the envelope Hyewon had given her a little more than a month ago. She had refused to see its contents, fearful of what she would see and how she would react. She was sure Chaeyeon had noticed how she had changed all of a sudden.

The guilt she once put at the back of her mind slowly ate her up. Every night she would find herself reminiscing of her past, eyes devoid of emotions until the sky turned brighter. She would still take care of their daughter but when she had free time, she would stare at nothingness and start crying silently in secret without anyone finding out.

Hyewon’s visits also became so frequent at the excuse of babysitting Wonyoung that Chaeyeon decided to let her have one of the guest rooms as her own but Sakura couldn’t care less. The Japanese would drown herself in the past and turn melancholic when she was alone. She would at times sleep like a log, trying to lock away the negativity brewing inside her head as she knew it was slowly taking a toll on her body. She can’t risk being too stressed because her milk production is going to be in the line. She definitely does not want Wonyoung to be dependent