Chapter 20

the beginning of the prophecy

There was nowhere Yongsun went where life was not painful. Perhaps it was because the Stars were punishing her, perhaps it was because of the curse that Auntie claimed she had been born with, or perhaps it was unplanned and Yongsun was just in the wrong place at the wrong time… But then again, Fate and Destiny (as far as Yongsun knew and had been told) did not work that way, the Stars gave Men direction, a purpose in life!

When Yongsun had been sent away at an early age to Rosewell Education for Proper Young Ladies, she quickly discovered that the teachers there were horrible, and punished disobedient students with a wooden cane. Some of her peers and classmates were just as cruel and unkind, often divulging secrets and sparking rumours.

There were only two true friends that Miss Yongsun had at Rosewell Education: Miss Yonghee, her sister, and a young girl who was not born a noble but was from a well-to-do family, Jung Wheein. She would later become Yongsun’s friend and colleague, studying alongside her in Heaven and eventually accompanying her onto the fields of battle to treat the wounded. Wheein attended Rosewell Education much later when Yongsun was just twelve and she herself only nine. Before Wheein, Yongsun had mostly been on her own.

The school itself was not a gruesome place to look at, it was indeed very beautiful. It sat alone on the side of a hill and resembled an old castle with high walls surrounding it. There was a great metal gate that kept unwanted visitors out and several stables for the horses that they kept. Vines crawled up the old stone walls, the trees had grown huge and large casting great shadows upon the ground. The ponds were filled with tiny fish and plenty of cats roamed the school hunting rats and mice.

The courtyard was paved with grey stone. There was also a garden with many little beds for vegetables and flowers, where the children learned how to care for and nurture different plants, how to identify which were poisonous and which could be used for healing potions or elixirs.

There was a veranda to sit on and drink tea at noon, there were alcoves carved into the walls where one could sit undisturbed. Miss Yongsun spent most of her time in these alcoves, either hiding from her teachers or her classmates, who sought to punish her — it had not gone unheard that Miss Yongsun was a wicked child, a cursed child! And some of her classmates felt the need to show her what wicked children deserved.

But little young ladies did not often use violence (but that did not make their actions any less vicious, little young ladies could be very cruel at times). They spoke belittling words to Miss Yongsun, who got caught in the trap of believing the vile things they said. They continuously hid her clothes after she had showered, and Miss Yongsun was forced to roam the halls in search of her stolen garments. That would often get her in trouble with the Headmistress and Miss Yongsun would have to write star sayings on a blackboard until her muscles turned stiff and all her bones ached. 

Some days, when it suited her abusers to become violent, they would pull Miss Yongsun’s hair and snicker when tears sprung from her eyes. During class, they would try their best to get Miss Yongsun into trouble (which often got them both punished, earning them ten whacks with a tawse). But their intentions was not to get Miss Yongsun expelled, no, for there would be no more fun if Miss Yongsun had to leave!

They forced Miss Yongsun away from Miss Yonghee, they made her eat on her own in the refectory. And Miss Yonghee could not do much to lessen her little sister’s suffering, lest she wanted a taste of the same treatment. It seemed that Miss Yongsun’s abusers’ goals in life was to make her life as miserable as possible. And it was all because they had heard a rumour about her! A rumour which might not even have been true!

But such was the cruelty of children who listened to what adults said. It was then that Miss Yongsun began to look back at Sunfield Hall with longing, for despite the fact that Auntie mistreated her there, at least she still had her father, whom she looked forward to seeing every time she was allowed home for the holiday.

After a most unpleasant breakfast, Yongsun snuck away from the dining hall in search of the library room. If she remembered correctly, it was on the second floor, beside her father’s bed-room. Upon entering the room, she saw that the bookshelves were coated in dust and it smelled of old, rotting wood. Yongsun searched the shelves for a special book.

Perhaps, if one might be so bold, one could say that books were one of the few things that had kept Yongsun from taking her life, they made her feel that she was not completely alone. Reading was a precious moment, it was the silence in the storm, a pause in time.

It had been Wheein who introduced Yongsun to reading books, not for the sake of learning and memorising, but for pleasure and enjoyment. And Wheein had been kind enough to lend Yongsun some of her favourite books, and Yongsun was currently in search of the book Wheein had given her as a present.

Yongsun had every intention of bringing the book with her on the journey. She climbed up one of the ladders, searching the shelves that were too high for her to reach. She could not find the book anywhere, but ah! then she remembered!

The book was not on any of the shelves because Yongsun, as a child, had hidden the book in one of the desk drawers that could be locked with a key. But there was no desk in the library, it had been removed. And the key! where had she placed the key?

«Ah, so this is where you’ve been hiding.» Heeyeon smiled, leaning against the doorframe.

Yongsun had not heard the door open. But she was too preoccupied with finding the book and did not spare Heeyeon a glance.

«I have not been hiding.» Yongsun said with a huff and walked up to the bookshelf next to the door.

«You did leave breakfast awfully quickly.»

Yongsun searched the bookshelf while she spoke. «I can not stand to be in Auntie’s presence for too long. She makes me tense, and I am always on-guard around her. It gets quite tiring.»

«I heard you spent the night in Moonbyul’s room.» Heeyeon said cheekily.

Yongsun bristled. «It is not what you think!» She squeaked, blushing.

«And how is it you know what I’m thinking? Can you read people’s minds now, hmm?» Heeyeon’s voice was teasing.

«No!» Yongsun exclaimed, then she grabbed a book and pressed it firmly against Heeyeon’s chest for her to hold.

There was a crack in the wall behind where the book had been, revealing a yellow envelope. Yongsun snatched the envelope, reached in and fished out a key. She smiled. Then she turned to face Heeyeon.

«Is it true, though? Magic-wielders can read minds?» She whispered.

«No, I don’t believe there exists such a magic in the world that lets you know what a person’s thinking.»

«What did you come here to tell me?» Yongsun asked, because again, Heeyeon had not gone through the trouble of finding her in the library just to banter. And though Heeyeon was very good at making small talk fun, Yongsun knew there was something she wanted.

«Yes, other than letting you know that Moonbyul is trying to talk to your Auntie in a civil manner, I have come to let you know that we’ll be leaving Sunfield in the evening, most likely after dinner.»

«And?»

«I’m also wondering how you’re faring. I imagine it can not be easy to be back.»

Yongsun sighed, deeply, then ran a hand through her hair. And if her teachers from Rosewell Education had seen her miserable posture, they would have whacked the back of her knees with a wooden cane!

«Nothing of this place has truly changed, there is perhaps more dust in some corners, and I saw that the back garden has been overgrown with weeds.»

«If you don’t mind me saying, I feel that this is a sad place filled with so many secrets, and secrets kill, destroy… I can not begin to imagine what you must’ve gone through as a child.»

«I do not miss childhood, if that is a question you are afraid to ask. But I do miss the way I took pleasure in the small things that reminded me that good still existed in the world, even as the things around me crumbled. I could not lock myself away from the world, not entirely, but I took joy in the things that brought me happiness, even if they were a rarity… I learned how to treasure those moments.»

«I think life teaches us a great deal of things, and I believe that the Stars are— »

«Please do not speak about the Fate of Cosmos to me. I do not think I would be able to handle it, not with all that has happened.»

«I shall not then. But I was going to give you some advice, since I know about your indifference to the Stars. There are many sayings in the Land of Couronne, about pain and torture, Fate and Destiny, about the Stars — and there’s one I remember my father telling me… But I can not for the life of me remember what he said… Miss Yongsun, just know we are never forced in a direction, free will exists and what we decide to do in any situation is ultimately our own.»

Yongsun stood still, numb. She had thought about it before, that much was true, but for Heeyeon to tell her so openly, so clearly — it left Yongsun rather speechless. It was seen as an act of rebellion to defy the Stars in the way that Heeyeon had. And it had not been the first time Heeyeon had so openly rebelled!

«But what if I am cursed?» cried Yongsun. «If I am cursed, then that means my life is not my own and I am bound to be doomed! Whatever I say, whatever I do, nothing will change the outcome! The curse will snatch me and I can not resist it!»

«Allow me to say something.» Heeyeon stepped closer and wrapped an arm around Yongsun’s shoulder. «I don’t think you’re cursed. I think you’ve just heard people say it so often that you have no choice but to believe it yourself.»

And perhaps Heeyeon was right?

Yongsun cried tears of sadness, tears of relief and anger. Rage overcame her and the room grew warmer. Heeyeon pulled away, telling Yongsun to not lose control, or else they all would burn and there would be nothing left of Sunfield Hall… but an evil and wicked idea crossed Yongsun’s mind and she thought it would not be such a bad thing entirely if Sunfield crumbled.

«You are not the first one to tell me that I am not cursed…»

Indeed, it had been Jung Wheein who had first told Yongsun she was not cursed.

Jung Wheein was a strange character, indeed, and she smiled wherever she went and took things in perfect stride, no matter how difficult the task. Most of the children at Rosewell Education thought her bizarre and an outcast. Some were envious of Wheein’s exceptional ability to consume knowledge. But Wheein did not care about them, she did not care for anyone except her family. And it was because of her family that she was at Rosewell Education, she was to become a proper young lady.

Miss Yongsun, after having endured several years of solitude and the constant abuse from her classmates and teachers, had stumbled upon Wheein reading in one of the alcoves during lunchtime.

She had never seen this girl before, and the first thing Miss Yongsun noticed was that she wore her uniform in a very unfashionable manner. Her white stockings were crumpled and not pulled up properly over her knees, she wore her hair down unlike the rest of the girls who had their hair tied up with little white ribbons. Her navy blue frock was full of creases and the way she sat was very unladylike, indeed!

«Is there anything you want? Are you looking for someone?» The girl asked irritatedly. She had put down her book and was staring directly at Miss Yongsun with a raised eyebrow.

«No, you’re just… that’s usually where I sit and read.» Miss Yongsun explained quite uselessly.

«Oh.» The girl said, not giving it much thought. «Well, there’s bound to be some other empty alcoves for you to sit and read in.»

The girl went back to her book. And Miss Yongsun, quite annoyed, left in a huff. If Miss Yongsun knew how to cast curses or spells of trickery she would have, th