secrets of Sunfield

The Stars Incline Us, They Do Not Bind Us
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Chapter 19

secrets of Sunfield

 

A door opened, but it was not the one Yongsun had knocked on. Yongsun suddenly heard horrible wailing coming from the maids, Yonghee’s sad crying, and her father’s strangled sobs. Yongsun turned and saw that Yongae’s door was wide open, soft light poured into the dark and empty hallway.

 

Yongsun’s blood froze in her veins, shivers ran down her spine. No matter how many times she had tried to forget this gruesome night, it still remained lodged in her memory. Now that night stared her right in the face, like a monster lurking in the dark, waiting to pounce. Yongsun was no longer an Angel, or Vega, or a grown woman, she was a little girl again. She remained, frantic, wide-eyed, afraid. She closed her eyes but the night would not go away.

 

Her father walked out into the hall. He looked lost, so devoid of hope. Yongsun saw blood staining the sleeves of his shirt, his hands were covered in it as well. His hair was a mess, his forehead sweaty. He adjusted his glasses, gently wiping away his tears as he did.

 

«What are you doing out here, Yongsun?» He said, his voice was soft, broken, like shattered glass. «You should be in bed.»

 

The screams had wakened Yongsun. She was scared at first, hugging her pillow to her chest. She had called for her father, begging him to protect her because she thought Sunfield Hall was being attacked by monsters. Then she called for the governess. Nobody came. The shuffling of feet outside her door tempted her out of bed like a siren calling her.

 

With the pillow pressed tightly against her chest, Yongsun had wandered towards her oldest sister’s door where she heard muffled voices coming from within. Yongsun stood there, listening to the wailing and , then the door had finally opened and her father appeared.

 

«Mr. Kim!»

 

Auntie had stepped into the hall just then, clinging to her brother, Yongsun’s father. Yongsun pressed her back against the door, wanting to disappear. She was not supposed to be out in the hall this late at night, she knew she would be in for a scolding if Auntie or the governess saw her.

 

«Do you know what would befall our family if others were to find out? The shame! The humiliation!» Auntie whispered harshly, «Even the stars above us look away in disgust! We would have to leave Sunfield Hall!»

 

Mr. Kim sobbed openly then, head in hands. Yongsun had never seen him like this. He pleaded, and begged, and his cries shook Yongsun to her core. She could not help but feel sad. Her chest clenched and Yongsun winced. 

 

Auntie looked at her then with dark, menacing eyes, and Yongsun could not help but cry. Her soul was full of sorrow and now she would be in trouble.

 

«Wicked Child! what are you doing out of bed?»

 

Auntie stalked towards Yongsun, and Yongsun hid her face in her hands, wanting to run away, but her feet would not listen to her. That night became one of the many secrets Yongsun would be forced to keep, lest she would lose her family. And as a child, Yongsun was convinced that to lose her family was worse than death itself, for family was all she ever had growing up.

 

Moonbyul’s door opened, Yongsun quickly stepped inside and shut it behind her. She pressed her back against the wall, panting heavily. She was not crying this time, but she was terrified.

 

«I…» Yongsun tried to speak but her voice faded.

 

Moonbyul looked at her. Her eyes were heavy and tired with sleep and Yongsun felt guilty for having roused Moonbyul from her slumber.

 

«You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.» Moonbyul pointed out, reaching out her arm, then she paused and let her arm fall limp by her side.

 

It saddened Yongsun, and she wanted to grasp Moonbyul’s hand out of desperation. But she restrained herself. Yongsun had hurt Moonbyul, and pain was a wound that needed careful tending.

 

The room was cold and dark, the curtains were drawn, but Moonbyul must have left the windows open for Yongsun heard the wind howling outside. Yongsun stepped forwards, head low, hands clasped in front of her.

 

«There is something important I must tell you.»

 

She could feel Moonbyul watching her. It ignited Yongsun, but for the first time since she had left Heaven, the flames burned. Yongsun walked past Moonbyul to sit on the bed, resting her hands in her lap. She could not speak without her legs giving out beneath her. How many times had she fallen? How many times had she let words sink her to the ground?

 

Yongsun opened , but then Moonbyul knelt down by her feet.

 

«Please don’t tell me you’re planning to stay here, Yongsun I can not bear the thought of— »

 

«I am not staying here, I could never.» Yongsun replied swiftly, cupping Moonbyul’s face. «I will not abandon you.» She whispered, and it was the truth.

 

«But earlier you said— »

 

«I will not abandon you, Moonbyul.» Yongsun whispered again, more determined this time. «I had to make sure Auntie would let us stay, I had to promise her something.»

 

«But was it the truth? Is there a part of you that wishes to stay?» Moonbyul’s lip was trembling, her voice fearful.

 

Silence wrapped around them, it was not a warm embrace, it was cold and slowly squeezing the life out of them.

 

«My mind is telling me I was happy here, my body is telling me to flee. I am torn, because I was born here —I do have joyous memories of Sunfield Hall. But there are so many secrets, so much pain. Perhaps my memory is playing tricks on me, giving me the gift of an illusion. I am choosing to see my life through a filter, a layer of remembrances.»

 

Yongsun tugged Moonbyul closer. She was breathing fast, her hands were trembling, but Moonbyul held them still. Yongsun’s thumb brushed against Moonbyul’s bottom lip making her inhale sharply.

 

«I said those words because deep down I see staying as a way of hiding. But that is not a path which will lead me to the freedom I so crave, the happiness I dreamt of when I was a child…»

 

Yongsun’s voice lowered to the softest of whispers. «Moonbyul… I think only you can free me, as only I can free you.»

 

Moonbyul said nothing at all, but simply stared upwards with sad eyes into Yongsun’s eyes. Yongsun’s words were full of sorrow; a reminder that their lives were not their own. The breath they drew was not theirs and the star fragments in their souls were older than time itself. And the little flicker of light behind their eyes was all that remained of a dying star.

 

Yongsun stayed in Moonbyul’s room, afraid of the memory of her Auntie. She lay on Moonbyul’s bed, the sheets pooled by her legs. Her hair was sprawled out on the pillow, Moonbyul was lying next to her, staring up at the ceiling. Starlight slipped in through the curtains, the windowsill glowed with pale light, the shadows on the walls were huge and loomed around them. Yongsun could hear the wind whispering in her ear, but the words were muffled.

 

Had it been day instead of night, had the sun shone through the windows instead of starlight, Yongsun swore she would have been able to hear what the wind was trying to tell her. It was a saying that in the Land of Couronne on a bright sunny day when all was still and quiet, and only wind blew on top of the moors, one could hear the wind speak words of wisdom in one’s ear.

 

The bed creaked and squeaked as Yongsun turned to face Moonbyul, hand under her head. She watched Moonbyul, who watched the ceiling, and they ignored each other for quite some time until Yongsun moved closer, placing her hand over Moonbyul’s.

 

«Do you relive your memories as well?» Yongsun whispered, afraid that someone would hear her (even though it was past midnight and all in Sunfield Hall were slumbering peacefully).

 

Moonbyul did not turn to face her, but she had heard Yongsun. She inhaled sharply. Yongsun squeezed her hand tightly.

 

«I did in the beginning.» Moonbyul said with a strangled voice. «Are you seeing things? Are your memories haunting you?»

 

Yongsun nodded, even though she could not be sure Moonbyul saw her.

 

«I saw my father. I heard him crying, I heard my sister crying as well.»

 

Moonbyul turned her head, and Yongsun could see more of Moonbyul’s face. Still, Moonbyul was a silhouette in the dark, but Yongsun could make out every detail on Moonbyul’s face: Her slanted eyes, the sharpness of her jaw, her plump lips and the way curved upwards when she smirked. Yongsun could see it all, through the dark her eyes found Moonbyul’s.

«What happened to your family?» Moonbyul asked, quietly.

 

Yongsun drew her hand away from Moonbyul’s. Her chest clenched as the first secret fell from her lips.

 

«My mother died in childbirth, Auntie blames me for her death. She says I should be ashamed. Some years later, my father fell ill with a fever, he tried his best to battle it but his body was weak, his will to live had vanished, and then he was gone. My sister, Yonghee, she ran away shortly after my father’s death.»

 

«You were left alone with your Auntie?»

 

«I only spent my holidays at Sunfield Hall with Auntie… after… after Yongae, my oldest sister’s death, I was sent to a school not far from here. It was called Rosewell Education for Proper Young Ladies, there they taught wicked little girls how to be proper young ladies.»

 

«Yongsun.» Moonbyul turned to face her now and she held her hand. «What happened to your sister, to Yongae?»

 

It was then that Yongsun whimpered, the tears trickled down her face and she could not look at Moonbyul. Yongsun could feel the secrets sitting on the tip of her tongue, it would be so easy to be rid of it all: The guilt, the shame, the weight which sought to sink her.

 

«She died before my father was taken by the fever. She died before Yonghee decided to run away.»

 

Yongsun spoke quickly, wincing, as if it pained her to share the secret. To carry a secret was to carry a knife, to tell a secret was to drive that very knife into your chest. Secrets killed, that was the

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Comments

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Gwyn_hananii
#1
Chapter 37: ❤️❤️❤️
girlofeternity_ss #2
This is a very interesting story.
Jscl38 #3
Chapter 36: Thank you so much for this story. I have few words to describe how much reading it has meant.
Jscl38 #4
Chapter 29: This story remains one of the most intense fics I’ve read. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s free. Thank you!
rivdelrey #5
Chapter 37: What a journey! I thoroughly enjoyed reading every word of this fic. This is one of the fics that I always looked forward to for updates.
Wooshtheroosh #6
Chapter 37: Ahhh damnn. This story is finished ;^;

This was a very wild ride and an amazing story to read. Everytime it updated, I was always exicited to read it.

U did very amazing in the ending so don't worry author-nim :)) it was amazing. This fic is amazing.

So thank u for this story :) and im looking forward to more :D

Stay safee!!
SeeLee101 #7
Chapter 37: I love it!
And yes, time well spent!
Thank you.

My message is short, I’m sorry. ^^;
Just woke up. :D
Thank you once again.
hwgah234 #8
Chapter 37: :,) this was such a great story. I love this world you’ve created. Thanks for writing it!!! (And thanks for letting MoonSun live lol, I was really afraid they’d die. Permanently haha)
hamzzi_star
#9
Chapter 37: See you soon <3
hamzzi_star
#10
Chapter 36: Ah... It's the end... Well... I don't have words for this.

Thanks for the story, up and downs but in the end the broke free from the destiny the star have for them.

Take care and rest well!!!