Chapter 32

Those Left Behind

Moonbyul stayed by Yongsun’s side the rest of the day, watching Yongsun while she worked. Men, women and children all came and went, occasionally a soldier would stop by the infirmary tent, needing to change a bandage.  Moonbyul could see the heaviness in the soldier’s eyes as they entered the tent and plopped themselves down on an empty cot.

She saw the sweat dripping off their foreheads, the bruises and scratches on their knuckles. She saw the red stains on their uniforms and how they kept their weapons close by their side. Moonbyul shivered, looking away. It reminded her too much of the Great War; when she had been shot out of the sky, when she had been taken prisoner by Altairian soldiers.

When the memories became too much, Moonbyul would busy herself by reading the Book of Silver, which had been left on a table by one of the Angels, probably Angel Joy. The other Angels eyed Moonbyul with caution, thinking she was a witch; they thought she acted like one.

It did not help that Moonbyul insisted on wearing a long dark coat with the collar turned up, hiding her chin and jaw. The other Angels could only see Moonbyul’s eyes, and sometimes, when Moonbyul got bored with reading the Book of Silver, she would stare off into the distance, thinking about Arah and what lay beyond Sul-fur-zaar. Moonbyul had little words to offer, but she was by no means difficult to approach or talk to, she was, perhaps, a bit intimidating.

Yongsun stole glances at Moonbyul, often catching Moonbyul while she was deep in thought. Perhaps she was planning something, trying to stay one step ahead the way she always did.

When the other Angels were ordered out of the tent by Lieutenant Colonel Hyoyeon, and Yongsun and Moonbyul were left alone in the tent, Yongsun took the opportunity to grasp Moonbyul’s collar, pulling it down.

She gasped when she saw the blue scales on Moonbyul’s skin and the red lines around her neck, as if she had been scratched by a claw or a talon. Yongsun shook her head, disappointed, but she let Moonbyul be, not wanting to argue.

The tent flaps suddenly flew open, several Angels rushed in, yelling at the same time, until one grabbed Yongsun by the arm, telling her she was needed outside.

«What is the matter?» Yongsun asked, frowning.

Moonbyul slowly stood and went to stand by Yongsun’s side.

«They’re back, Yongsun, they’re finally back!» Yelled one of the Angels.

Without a second thought, Yongsun ran, her eyes were filled with hope as she hurried through the maze of tents. The sun was going down in the distance. The sky was a brilliant mixture of red and orange, the wind gently her tear-stained face.

She saw all of the Angels huddled together. Yongsun pushed through the crowd and saw Archangel Solji in the middle. She was hunched over, hands on her knees. She had thrown up on the ground, her legs trembled. Solji groaned and straightened, tilting her head back so her face was against the setting sun.

Yongsun approached Solji, reaching out her arm to catch the Archangel.

«Don’t.» Solji spat, wiping and looking away. 

«What happened out there?» Yongsun whispered quietly, reaching for Solji’s arm, but Solji took a step backwards.

That was when Yongsun noticed Solji’s bruised hands, the stains on her pants, and how soaked Solji’s shirt was. Blood was everywhere; on Solji’s clothes and in the air, it was enough to make Yongsun flinch and look away.

«You’re hurt.» Yongsun hissed, looking back at Solji.

«It’s not my blood. None of this belongs to me.» Solji snapped back angrily, facing Yongsun.

Solji took a step closer, then another. Yongsun did not back away, meeting Solji’s gaze with a challenging stare. Yongsun could barely see the bruise the Lieutenant Colonel had given Solji the night before on Solji’s now blood-streaked face.

«What happened?» Yongsun asked again, her voice was but a whisper.

Solji looked away, cursing the Regiment, the King, the Stars —even Heaven itself which Solji was a part of. Tears streamed down Solji’s face.

«Curse them, curse them all…» Solji whispered harshly. She ripped off the red armband, tossed it on the ground, then stalked away.

Yongsun was stunned, speechless. She wanted to chase after Solji, ask her what she had seen, but perhaps that was too much.

The Angels all looked to Yongsun now, as if she was their last hope, and perhaps at this point she was.

«We don’t want to go back.» Came a voice from the crowd.

Yongsun spun around, looking at every one of them; seeing their scared faces, their dirtied uniforms, and their blood-stained hands.

The crowd was smaller, Yongsun saw that several Angels were missing. Perhaps they were still out on the battlefield, healing wounded soldiers, or perhaps the battlefield had become their grave.

«Did anyone see what happened?» Yongsun asked, her voice faded, and the crowd remained silent.

«It was a nightmare.» Said another Angel.

«There are more of us out there, they only sent a few of us back.»

Yongsun closed her eyes, trying to calm herself, but all she felt was the fire in her belly, the flame in her soul, and the bird rattling against her ribcage. She had to get out of here, or else she would lose herself as well. But she could not leave them.

Birds of a feather flock together was the saying, Yongsun would not leave her comrades, her friends.

«Get some rest.» Yongsun said.

The Angels began to murmur amongst themselves. They grew more and more worried, almost panicking.

Yongsun cleared and spoke louder: «Get some rest, you will all need it come morning light.»

«We’re being sent back tomorrow morning?» The Angel from the day before, the one who had been brave enough to ask Solji what they were to do, stepped away from the crowd towards Yongsun.

Her eyes were big and round, her face small, and her lips were drawn in a thin line. She looked up at Yongsun, her hands held out as if begging, pleading, for an answer.

But the answer remained in Yongsun’s throat, choking her, and Yongsun could only nod in response.

The crowd dispersed, the Angels scattered, some went to lie down, others went to the infirmary to get their wounds checked. The tension never left the air, the smell of blood, and ash, and smoke remained and was a reminder that war went far beyond the fields of battle.

War did not wait, it took and it took until there was nothing left but ash and bones. It did not wait for the hungry, the weak, or the poor. It devoured kingdoms and cities, as if possessed by greed and envy.

But Yongsun was here to stop it, stop the disease known as war from spreading. The World was bleeding. Yongsun would be the one to cauterise it, to burn the wounds shut.

A while later, Angel Irene had found Yongsun, who was sitting outside by a small fire with Moonbyul, Lieutenant Hyojin and some other soldiers.

She rushed to Yongsun’s side, flinging her arms around Yongsun, embracing her tightly. Irene buried her face in Yongsun’s neck, and Yongsun felt Irene’s wet tears against her skin.

«Baek’s gone!» Irene cried.

The others who sat by the fire with Yongsun stood, stunned. They silently offered their condolences to Irene and Yongsun, then they scattered, walking off into the dark to give them some privacy to grieve.

Moonbyul remained close by, standing by one of the tents.

«I saw him, Yongsun, I saw all of them! They hadn’t been buried! They were just there! Lying on the ground, lifeless! It was just a mountain of bodies!» Irene cried even harder and Yongsun held her tightly.

She felt her heart break, she felt the fire in her chest burn with anger and sorrow.

Yongsun felt it all, and was overcome by emotion; the grass beneath her feet began to sparkle with fire.

Moonbyul rushed to Yongsun. She ripped off her long coat and threw it on the ground, smothering the fire. She cast a worrying look at Yongsun, then she disappeared again.

Irene had turned, watching as Moonbyul walked away. She looked back at Yongsun with wide eyes.

«What happened to Archangel Solji?» Yongsun asked as tightened.

«She saw them, she saw the bodies.» Angel Irene whispered, afraid. «It angered her, she swore at the officers, and then she shot an enemy soldier. Blood spattered everywhere… I didn’t even know she knew how to fight.»

Yongsun pulled away, startled. «Solji shot a soldier?»

«She shot more than one. It was as if she was possessed. It wasn’t her, Yongsun, I’ve never seen Solji act that way before.» Irene sounded so afraid, terrified. «Solji never loses control, but now she just… she’s gone. Solji came back a different person. It’s like something snapped inside her.» 

Yongsun nodded. She was worried now that Solji had lost herself. But Yongsun remembered the words Solji had spoken the night before. She would not lose herself, she would hold on. She had promised Solji, and she would honour that promise.

Good existed in this World, there was hope in every corner, and one did not have to look for it, one only had to feel it.

Though I do not see it, I know the sun is still there.

The World would not burn and fall around her, Yongsun would not let that happen, could not.

Though I do not see it, I know the sun is still there.

Yongsun recited the prayer one last time in her mind, then she let go of Irene, and Irene sunk to the ground, head in her hands, crying, until there were no more tears left to cry.

Darkness arrived, and with darkness came silence.

Yongsun, followed by Moonbyul, went looking for Wheein. Yongsun hoped she had made it back as well.

Bruised and wounded soldiers had gathered around a fire, swapping tales and stories of Couronne and the other Lands that lay beyond. Yongsun passed them by, still searching for Wheein.

«Are you sure she made it back?» Moonbyul asked from behind Yongsun.

She had stayed by Yongsun’s side, unspeaking, silent, like a ghost.

Yongsun nodded even though she did not know. «She must’ve.»

She hoped Wheein had made it back, she wished to talk to her, change her mind, or at least say goodbye before Wheein made the brash and dangerous decision of leaving —deserting them.

Moonbyul tapped Yongsun’s shoulder, saying she had to go into Ironsmith. The night was getting darker, and she would have to leave.

«Will you come back later?»

«You mean later tonight?»

Yongsun nodded.

«Where would I stay? Where would I sleep? I don’t think the others would appreciate me being around them. They think I’m dangerous.»

«They are just afraid. Not afraid of you, just afraid in general. We all are.» Yongsun sighed. «But I do not want to be alone tonight. Or any of the nights after.»

«They will talk.» Moonbyul said, pained, and looked away.

«Let them.» Yongsun whispered, cupping Moonbyul’s cheek.

«I’ll return soon then.» Moonbyul said simply.

Yongsun embraced Moonbyul, then sent her off with a quick peck on the cheek.

She con