Chapter 26

When Heaven calls for its Angels

When Yongsun woke sunlight had breached the holes in the factory roof. The large and spacious room that the Angels had slept in was bathed in gold. Outside, the rest of Sector 13 lay in shambles, in ruins, and those who had survived clung to life with what little strength they had left.

The Infirmary was busy, soft voices rang through the air. Yongsun blinked tiredly, was dry and the pendant around her neck pulsated softly. The other angels had risen before her, the bed’s were empty and the room was quiet. Irene must have decided to let her sleep in.

The sun pricked Yongsun’s skin, her clothes clung to her body, her hair was a mess and her palms were slick with sweat. She got up, lifting herself on her elbows, then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the Shadow of a tall figure by the doorway, watching her. The room grew cold, Yongsun’s heart leapt to and she looked back at the shadow with startled fright.

As the shadow crept closer, Yongsun drew away, tumbling off the futon she had slept on, dragging the thin and moth-eaten sheets with her. The Shadow was suddenly above her, it had no eyes, no nose, only a mouth. It snapped its toothless jaw at Yongsun, she saw a faint light coming from the back of the Shadow’s throat.

The Shadow was ready to devour her, but Yongsun would not let herself be devoured. She had fought off a shadow once before, she would do it again now. Yongsun squeezed her eyes shut and looked away. Quickly, she thought of the Stars and hoped for Light, and suddenly white Light shone from her chest, just as it had done when she had been in the cave in Azur Gard.

The World shall know my Light! Yongsun yelled in her head with the vigour of a blazing fire.

The shadow faded away with a shrill cry as the Light pierced its dark body. Yongsun ducked down, covering her head with her hands while the Shadow’s horrible death cry echoed in her ears. She trembled even though the Shadow had disappeared. The pendant stopped its pulsing, the Light faded and the room went back to being bathed in gold.

To be devoured was not a pleasant thing. It meant one’s mind was being torn apart while fear slipped in through the cracks. Fear feasted on those who were afraid, fear seized power over the mind, and from there it spread, taking over every part of the body until there was nothing left but pain.

A hand gripped Yongsun’s shoulder, she flinched, jumping away. But then she felt two hands on her face, her cheeks, and Yongsun had no choice but to open her eyes; to face the truth. She could feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes, but she did not want to cry and held them back.

«Nightmare?» Irene asked. Her face was ashen, her eyes wide with worry and overcome with sadness. It was a sadness Yongsun could not explain, not with words, but she recognised it, had felt it even. And so Yongsun placed her hand on top of Irene’s because she knew how much it could hurt, and it was all Yongsun could do to comfort Irene —to comfort them both.

Irene drew away, folding her hands in her lap, waiting patiently. The fear died down and Yongsun shook her head, wincing. She placed a hand to her forehead, feeling it ache and throb.

«Hope.» Yongsun muttered, then stood. «It was hopeful, my dream —I reckon it was that and I should call it thus— was very hopeful.» Yongsun ed her shirt, but then stopped halfway and decided to just pull the shirt over her head, tossing it on the futon.

Irene handed her a new shirt, one that was not sticky or sweaty, Yongsun put it on, then wrapped the armband with the white cross on it around her arm. She shimmied out of the trousers she had slept in.

«You looked scared, Yongsun.» Irene spoke softly, her eyes not quite meeting Yongsun’s.

It was then that Yongsun knew they were speaking as friends, not as Head Angel or Infirmary Angel (where Yongsun would outrank Irene), no, here they were equals, peers, just as they had been when they were both trainees learning about the the ways of an Angel and their principal rule.

«I was just now afraid.» Yongsun said, she would not meet Irene’s eyes either. «I thought I saw a shadow looking at me, over there, by the doorway.»

«A man’s?» Irene grew worried, hands reaching for Yongsun.

«I believe so,» sighed Yongsun, gently pushing away Irene’s hands, «it was bright, Irene, the sun was in my eyes, I was not sure of what I saw. It could have just been my mind.»

Yongsun was agitated then. Seeing the Shadow here in Kingston had brought her much distress, Yongsun could not piece together why or how a Shadow had managed to find her here in Kingston. But it was not fair of Yongsun to take it out on Irene who only wanted to help, and perhaps wanted Yongsun to let her walls down.

But the Shadow had been here, in this very room that Yongsun was in, the Shadow had towered over her, nearly touching her. Moonbyul had told Yongsun about Shadows some years ago while they were still in Port. She said that once a Shadow had touched you, you were not the same. But Moonbyul had never told her what changed, and so Yongsun pondered, comparing being touched by a Shadow to being dead and to then be brought back to life again. Surely one could not be the same afterwards… 

Heeyeon knew that, she had begged not to come back…

Yongsun finished getting dressed. While tying her shoelaces, Yongsun finally looked up at Irene. They were both quiet for a while, both holding on to their secrets. But Irene had always been quick to pick up on things, she was the one who had first seen the changes in Yongsun, back when she was caring for Hyojin. But it was usually Baek that Irene fought with, but he had been deployed to Ironsmith a year ago. Yongsun still waited for his letter of survival…

«You’ve changed.» Irene said suddenly, her voice sharp like a blade.

«War changes people.» Yongsun answered too quickly. 

Irene narrowed her eyes. «I don’t mean now. I mean when you left.» Irene said, her voice softened slightly, a small smile graced her lips. She was reminiscing. «I think I saw it then, you were happy, even though you didn’t look it. I could still feel it.»

«I hate to admit I am happier. It feels unfair for me to have found something good in this World, while— »

«Stop that.» Irene said, shaking her head. «I am happy for you. So I wish you would stop hiding it from me. I am your friend and only wish the best for you. But it feels like I don’t know you anymore.»

Yongsun wanted to tell her she was sorry, but she knew Irene would not want to hear it. Yongsun felt small then, the newfound courage she had found with Moonbyul, the assurance and the love, it seemed to slip from her, falling off her shoulders like a loose and flimsy jacket. Yongsun fiddled with her hands, she looked anywhere but at Irene.

«Let’s get you some breakfast.» Irene stood, then took Yongsun’s hands in hers. She smiled at Yongsun, but Yongsun was still worried. «Also, Archangel Solji has called some of us back to Heaven, you included.»

The air outside was dry and coarse, the heat unrelenting. Time seemed to have slowed down, the Angels, no matter how tired they were or how harshly the heat bore down on them, went about their tasks healing the wounded. Angel Sicheng had waved good morning to Yongsun when he spotted her walking out of the factory, and Yongsun had happily waved back.

Yongsun sat on the sidewalk with Irene, she had been given a mug of water and two stale pieces of bread to munch on. It was not much, but it would do for now, Yongsun thought herself lucky for not being a picky eater.

As she tried to chew through the bread, she thought about her dream, or vision, or whatever it was that her mind had shown her. It had felt so real, Moonbyul had held her so tightly, but then Yongsun had kissed her and it was like pressing her lips against cold air.

And then Heeyeon had turned up. And it had left Yongsun breathless. The three of them had been a thread tied together, pulled along by the Stars down a path none of them could foresee. Yongsun missed them terribly and their adventure across the Plateau.

But the Plateau brought back some horrid memories of Shadows like Alshain and Antares, who had entered Yongsun’s mind in an attempt to devour her. Yongsun had felt a similar Shadow in her dream, one that was as cold as ice. She had seen a Shadow when she woke up. But was it really here, or was that also an illusion?

Yongsun contemplated it for a while. She took another bite of her bread, then a swig of water. She felt a finger probe her cheek. Yongsun looked over at Irene: Irene had just poked her cheek. Yongsun’s thoughts stopped. They both looked at each other.

Then they giggled, their faces broke out into wide smiles, and neither could help the feeling bubbling in their chests. They had been brought back to childhood and untouchable innocence. They were two little girls, trying to ignore the war raging around them. It felt good to laugh, and Yongsun felt free, and nothing could touch her or Irene.

When the laughter ceased and they regained control of their limbs, Yongsun wished she could return to this moment, to this feeling, once the war ended. Yongsun was certain that the war would end, one day, and all would not go back to normal, no, it would move on and the land would heal and grow to be even more splendid than it had been before.

«Look at us,» Irene giggled, hiding her face behind her hands, «if the trainees saw they would think us mad!»

Yongsun could not help but smile and laugh as well, and then said with a cheery voice: «Or if the Archangels saw they would kick us out of Heaven!»

They both fell back with laughter, wiping away the tears that rolled down their faces with the palms of their hands. But when their eyes locked, they would fall back into the same laughing fit. It was a lively sound, one that dulled the pain in their chest.

After regaining a sense of themselves, their tummies ached, their jaws were tired from being so tense. Irene sighed, and Yongsun looked up, knowing the warm feeling had vanished, replaced by something somber, darker.

«Do you think Baek left Ironsmith?»

«You mean desertion?» Yongsun straightened and reached out to Irene, taking her hand. She searched Irene’s eyes for an answer, looking for a sliver of hope, but Irene was a void, and Yongsun could not see deeply enough.

«Maybe. I just haven’t heard from him. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but what if he left? Just got fed up and… walked away…»

Yongsun wanted to say more, but then she saw the other Angels huddling together. They looked over at Yongsun and Irene. Yongsun stood, pulling Irene up with her.

«Baek would not leave, not with innocent lives on the line. Now come. The others are gathering. We have to go back to Heaven.»

The joy they had basked in vanished quickl