20

easier said than done

It all happened too fast. Seulgi didn’t even have a second to blink. She barely knew which was first – her pushing Kai away or Jaehyun swinging in and grabbing Kai by the collar of his shirt.

Jaehyun was shaking. His knuckles were gaunt and white, looking like the bones were about to pop out of his skin. His eyes burned with quiet fury, glaring at Kai in a way that Seulgi had never seen before. His other hand was at his side, balled up into a fist. Even as she clutched on his arm, she felt a resistance – if she wasn’t holding him back, she knew that fist would have been against Kai’s jaw.

“Jaehyun,” Seulgi choked, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tugged at him, “please don’t.”

Jaehyun hissed through gritted teeth. Kai was staring back at him wistfully, eyes withdrawn, like he had resigned himself to whatever Jaehyun was about to do. There was even a sense of remorse about him, a look in his eyes that said: I’m sorry. It only made Jaehyun want to beat him into pulp, because if you knew, then how could you?

He felt another tug on his arm, and even all the willpower in his mind could not stop him from turning his head. His eyes fell on Seulgi, who was a mess of tears and puffy cheeks, gazing at him pleadingly.

“Why?” he seethed. Why are you holding me back? Why are you–

“Please don’t,” Seulgi repeated. The tears filled her eyes again.

Jaehyun inhaled sharply. He had a damned mind to beat the out of the er, but beneath the anger and betrayal that boiled within him was what he felt for Seulgi. Seeing the tears on her face and the sadness in her eyes sent a dagger through his heart. And it frightened him that no matter what she had or could have done, he still loved her.

He slackened his grip on Kai’s shirt and stormed out of the stairwell. He knew – another second there and his fist would have flown.

“Jae– Jaehyun, stop!”

Seulgi ran after him, feeling the rush of cold wind hit her in the face as she stepped into the carpark. Out of habit, she looked left and right, looking out for reporters as though she was walking on a pedestrian crossing and checking to make sure a truck wasn’t about to run her over. Though, the metaphorical truck probably already did.  

He stopped in his tracks – the only reason why Seulgi managed to catch up. “Are you crazy?” she huffed, clasping onto his arm. “You nearly–“

“Beat him up? Yes, because he ing deserved it!” Jaehyun finished her sentence, turning around and glowering at her. “Are you crazy?”

She recoiled. “What?”

“Seulgi, the guy assaulted you! That was unlawful assault, harassment – I take it back, I should’ve sent him straight to the cops for what he did!”

Seulgi winced. He was staring daggers at her, in a way that made her knees shake. In the thirteen years she had known him, she had never seen Jaehyun in such a rage, especially at her. He took a step towards her, and she reflexively stepped backwards.

“Or am I wrong? Was it consensual?” He encircled his fingers around her wrist, coming menacingly close. “Was it?”

She trembled, leaning backwards as far as she could. She took in a breath, and then placed a hand on his chest to steady him – or rather, herself. “Jaehyun, please,” she whispered. She didn’t know how to answer him. “Don’t do this here. We could get caught.”

He cocked his head back and laughed bitterly. “Seriously? After what just happened, that’s what you’re worried about?”

There was a flash of hurt that crossed his eyes. Hurt, anger, and betrayal. The same, unsaid words hovered in the air – How could you? How could you? How could you?

Seulgi’s lower lip quivered. Not a word could come out of . It wasn’t her fault, she could have defended herself, but the sheen of tears that glazed over his eyes took her words away. She didn’t have the right.

Jaehyun looked away. “I really can’t talk to you.”

“Jaehyun!”

But it was too late – Jaehyun had stormed into his car and slammed the door shut. He rolled it out of his parking spot, driving towards the exit. His eyes inadvertently lolled towards the rearview mirror, catching the sight of Seulgi standing in the middle of the carpark and the box of chocolate eclairs he had driven an hour across town to buy sitting forlornly at the backseat.

“He did what?”

Wendy leapt to her feet and bellowed loudly – a little too loudly for her own good. Seulgi frantically shushed her friend, looking at her to give her a mental reminder that her husband was in one of the rooms putting her daughter to bed. Not to mention, Johnny was also Jaehyun’s best buddy before any of them had gotten together, and friend code dictated that Johnny would stop at nothing to knock the living daylights out of Kai for Jaehyun’s sake.

Apparently, he had passed that trait onto Wendy. “What on earth?” she exclaimed, showing no signs of quietening down. “Why didn’t you just let Jaehyun that guy up?”

Seulgi sighed, sipping at her orange juice. “Why would I let him do that to Jongin? Imagine the trouble he’d get into!”

“He wouldn’t! I mean, he wouldn’t because he would have done the right thing!” Wendy folded her arms in a huff. “You know, if I were Jaehyun I wouldn’t just beat him and send him to the cops – I’d throttle him with my bare hands! Who the does he think he is to lay a finger on you?”

Wendy made a strangling motion to illustrate her point, as though her violent language wasn’t sufficient. The scariest thing was, given the opportunity, Seulgi was sure Wendy would have put her words into action. To Wendy, him being throttled might have even been an easy way out.

She glanced at Seulgi’s unamused expression. “Don’t tell me…” She paused, eyeing Seulgi suspiciously. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

“Of– Of course not!”

“Seulgi, it’s been years.”

“Wan, I know,” Seulgi frowned. She emitted another sigh, massaging her temples. “I don’t think of Jongin that way anymore. You know how I feel about Jaehyun.”

Wendy seemed unconvinced. She moved her hands on her hips, throwing Seulgi a skeptical look. “Then? Why were you so emotional?”

“He was one of my closest friends when we were trainees. It took me a while to even think of seeing someone else – you know this.” Seulgi stood up, walking to the kitchen to refill her juice.

Wendy did know. S