14

how will i know

“Seulgi?”

Seulgi lay on her bed, eyes wide open. She could still hear him say her name, voice quivering as he mouthed the two syllables. She had blinked repeatedly, nearly pinching herself to check if it was real, if her tired eyes weren’t playing cruel tricks on her. It was only when Krystal bounced over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist that Seulgi knew – holy , it’s real.  

The room was dark and still, blanketed by a layer of silence sporadically punctuated by Jaehyun’s soft breaths. He was next to Seulgi, his arm resting comfortably around her waist. He had fallen asleep long ago, exhausted from the journey and the drunken party that had ensued after they had discovered who their neighbors for the weekend were.

After many loud cries of surprise, most people were able to put two and two to figure out that both Suho and Johnny had made bookings at the same villa resort. Suho was trying to get the group together to celebrate a difficult but fruitful comeback season, while Johnny had brought his entire family along as a lamppost to Jaehyun and Seulgi’s weekend getaway. A happy accident that was about to get happier, they had said, as they started up a party and began texting every other person they knew from the company to come over the next day.

Seulgi wasn’t completely opposed. She had grown up in S.M. long enough to know how tightly-knit everyone was. She was part of them, and they were part of her. Sometimes, she would just wonder, whether the tightness in her chest and the shiver down her spine meant that he was still part of her, too.

“Youngran, you’re going to make me tall and buff, right?”

Baekhyun, or at least most of his body, was buried in the sand, having his outline redrawn by the three-year-old toddler and a laughing Wendy. “You’re already tall and buff, Uncle Baekhyun,” Youngran smiled, shoveling sand over him.

“You mean, Uncle Bacon is short and squishy, Youngran,” Sehun joked, earning a glare from Baekhyun.

“You piece of– At least she likes me more than you!” Baekhyun barked, wheezing slightly at the sand particles being caught in his nose. “Disrespectful .”

The entire combined party of men, women and children had hit the beach once the sun was out, ready to catch the best of summer. Baekhyun was being turned into a sandcastle by the children, Sehun and Irene were lying under the sun and living their best lives, Lay and Xiumin were riding the waves, and a bunch of the others were fastening their life-vests, readying themselves for the speedboating race of the century.

Seulgi dug her feet into the sand, tapping Wendy on the shoulder. “You sure you don’t want to come with us?” she asked. “I think Baekhyun-oppa can help to watch Youngran for a while, no?”

Wendy, who had twenty layers of sunscreen and a floppy hat, quickly shook her head. “No thanks, not about to get my hair all dried up with sea salt,” Wendy chuckled. She nudged Seulgi. “You go ahead, I’ll cheer for you from here.”

“I thought you’d be cheering for me!” Johnny complained. He was yet to put on his life jacket, muscles rippling under the sun. Seulgi could swear even Wendy, despite having seen Johnny in all his glory for years, blushed a little.

Wendy sniffed, attempting to conceal her reddened cheeks. “Sisters over misters!”

“You say that now,” Seulgi chortled.

She diverted her gaze to the row of men standing by the speedboats, still in the midst of putting on their life vests. They were bathed by the warm light of the sun, their lithe forms a testament to the hours they had spent in gyms and training rooms. On a first glance, they could have been mistaken for models shooting some kind of summer-themed advertisement. They were lucky that their side of the beach was oddly secluded, or they would be trampled by a horde of ogling fans.  

Jaehyun turned to look at Seulgi and decided to take a leaf from Youngran’s book, shooting his girlfriend his best, most heart-stopping wink. Instantly, like clockwork, he could see the blush rise to her cheeks. He would have been triumphant, had his own heart not been palpitating at the sight of Seulgi in her adorable, polka-dotted summer wear.

“Bet I’ll get to the finish line before you do,” Jaehyun joked, nudging Seulgi as she came over and helped him fix his life vest.

She raised a brow. “Are you challenging me?”

“Will I get a prize if I win?”

“You guys are so gross,” D.O. said, wrinkling his nose. “Though, I am down for a bet.”

Chanyeol’s hand shot into the air. “Last one to the finish line buys dinner?”

Everyone cheered in agreement, heading towards their speedboats. A look of competitiveness had materialized on Jaehyun’s face – Seulgi knew he wasn’t going to lose to anyone, not even his girlfriend, just for the sake of it. She smiled to herself – she wasn’t, either. Everyone in S.M. had a competitive streak, after all.

They boarded their speedboats, with all of them hurtling their best taunts at each other. Taeyeon, the designated referee for the day, blew the whistle, setting them all on their race. They sped across the water at top speed, hollering as they rode the bumpy currents and raced to the final buoy. Seulgi zoomed towards her goal, feeling the wind on her face and the heat on her skin.

Seconds away from the finish line, Seulgi involuntarily glanced at her right, eyes meeting Kai’s. A wave of adrenaline rushed through her, and for a moment she felt like she was back in the training room more than fifteen years back, when her and Kai were just Seulgi and Jongin, riding the waves of the newest dance moves they had been taught.

Realizing they were about to collide, they promptly swerved, taking a brief detour from their original routes. They somehow managed to get back on track, crossing the finish line at almost the same time. Their speedboats come to a halt next to each other, and for the first time in a long time, they exchanged a high five.

Kai smiled. In his eyes, Seulgi saw the Jongin she remembered – bright, excited, and full of hope, chasing a dream that he loved more than anything else in the world. For years, he had been lost under the thick layers of powder and blinding flashes of cameras, but she had always known that he was there, somewhere. He would always be there.

Jaehyun had been first to the line. He turned, trying to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend, instead witnessing the rare sight of Kai and Seulgi looking at each other with wide grins on their faces, their years of tension seemingly behind them. Without him noticing, his smile began to falter. Not far away, the eyes of a certain dark-haired beauty turned into ice.

Day turned into night, devolving into another one of SMTOWN’s loud, wild and riotous parties. They had moved to the villa that EXO had been staying at, clinking drinks and having heated dance battles. Jaehyun didn’t know how, but by nightfall, everyone he had grown up with showed up at their door, bright and ready for a night of debauchery.

He weaved through the crowd, throwing a wave to an already drunk and hyperexcited Lucas, laughing as he watched Yunho and Boa throw out their moves to TVXQ’s Mirotic, cheering on Doyoung as he poured vodka into Taeyong’s mouth, straight from the bottle. His eyes scanned through the people, searching for his cat-eyed, flush-faced girlfriend, who was probably downing glass after glass of Pina Colada–

A familiar, pink-haired girl cam