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a shot

SEULGI releases solo comeback MV for “I’ll Try”

NCT’s Jaehyun caught at Red Velvet’s Seulgi’s apartment; SM Entertainment yet to confirm dating rumors

She had others what it felt like. Wendy said it was a trip through the seven gates of purgatory, Johnny said it made eight years of training feel like a walk in the park, and even the usually silent and tolerant Irene said that it was a time of her life she would never go back to. Seulgi had contemplated the thought a few times, even had a nightmare or two about it, especially before the articles came out for Kai and Krystal, but she had to admit she never knew what it would actually feel like.

It wasn’t a nightmare. It was worse.

As her van rolled over the driveway, she felt her breath hitch. Scores of reporters, armed with cameras bigger than their faces, were waiting impatiently in front of the company. As usual, there was a dearth of security guards, as though the company was trying to say: You made the mistake. You have to face the music.

I know. Seulgi in a breath, simultaneously mustering her courage. She gave her manager a nod, and the door slid open. She heard loud shouting and cameras clicking, her head pounding into overdrive. She closed her eyes, let it fade to black, and pushed through the crowd.

Jaehyun stood by the tall, tinted glass windows. Watching Seulgi struggle to enter a place that had been her sanctuary for nearly twenty years, he felt his heart twist and turn in his chest. He swiveled around, ready to head downstairs and help her through.

But Taeyong caught him mid-turn, stopping him in his tracks. “You can’t,” Taeyong warned. “You’ll make it worse.”

“But–“ But I can’t let her go through it alone, Jaehyun’s eyes flashed back.

Taeyong shook his head. He guided Jaehyun back to the window, where a floor below Seulgi was still wrestling through the throng of vultures. She had opened eyes, looking ahead determinedly. “She understands,” Taeyong murmured, squeezing Jaehyun’s shoulder, “that this is her battle, too.”

“Is it true?”

In his lifetime, Jaehyun had met Lee Sungsoo probably less than ten times. Each time, it had mostly been over celebratory occasions – whether it was NCT winning some notable acclaim, Jaehyun achieving some record-breaking personal event sales, or someone else in the company throwing a wedding. Perhaps not Johnny’s wedding, though. He remembered Lee Sungsoo frowning the entire time, probably because he was doing the mental math of the eventual profit decline in his head.

So, seeing Lee Sungsoo bent over his table, sporting an austere expression, was an unfamiliar right. “Are you both dating?” he asked, rewording his question to two oddly silent people who clearly understood him the first time.

Jaehyun glanced at Seulgi. She was dead quiet, staring at the ground with her fingers steepled on her lap. She didn’t look like she had any intention to say a word.

“Not answering is not an option,” Sungsoo said, tapping his foot impatiently. He groaned and repeated his question, “Are you two in a relationship?”

Seulgi still wasn’t talking. Jaehyun drew his breath and turned to his boss, their boss. “It’s complicated,” he replied, wringing his hands.

Sungsoo narrowed his eyes. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” Jaehyun nodded quickly. Sungsoo clearly didn’t need additional affirmation, but Jaehyun’s reaction seemed to deepen his frown. “We have told you this many times – if you want to date, that’s fine. Just don’t get caught.”

He tossed a newspaper in front of them. Jaehyun wondered who on earth still read newspapers, but apparently, even irrelevant media somehow mattered in the lives of celebrities. Both Jaehyun and Seulgi craned their necks, staring at the picture splashed across the front page. It was a shot of Jaehyun holding Seulgi by the wrist at the parking lot of her apartment, shot deftly from an angle that meant the ing stalker was probably hiding in the bushes. They had seen it before, but the magnified version of it made their situation all the more real, all the more menacing.

Sungsoo stabbed a finger at the picture. “Even if you kids wanted to have a lover’s spat, couldn’t you have had it inside? Don’t you know this by now?” Sungsoo hollered.

Seulgi kept silent. She was still looking down, as though reverting back to her docile trainee days would have made their situation better. Jaehyun stared at her, trying to will her to turn to him –you have to look at me, Seulgi, we’re supposed to go through this together, you can’t leave me to fend for us both– but to no avail.

He heaved a sigh and turned to the fuming Sungsoo. “Look,” he started, “we’re sorry. We should’ve known better. But this was Seulgi’s apartment – her personal space! Shouldn’t we be suing this er for illegally trespassing and stalking?”

“Jaehyun – isn’t this your second dating scandal of the year? Among others?” Sungsoo hissed. Jaehyun felt a surge of red-hot anger shoot through him. He balled up his fists, digging his nails into his skin.

It was only then that Seulgi lifted her head, grabbing Jaehyun by the arm and throwing him a warning look, like she thought he didn’t know better, like his fist was about to fly – again. “Stop it,” she whispered.

His eyes met hers, his pupils trembling with fury. Is this all you care about, Seulgi? Is this the only time you give a ? For a split-second, her eyes softened, as though she could sense his pain.

“Enough. I’m not going to waste time watching you two act out Romeo and Juliet,” Sungsoo said, marching back to the back of his oak table. “Admit to the scandal and lie low for the next six to eight months. Seulgi, we’ll cancel all your live stages for your comeback.”

Jaehyun saw a flash of horror cross Seulgi’s eyes. “What?” Seulgi exclaimed.

“You heard me,” Sungsoo said, staring her down. The mantra was repeating itself: You made the mistake. You have to face the music.

Jaehyun felt sick to the stomach. Images of Seulgi lying on the floors of different training rooms, lifeless and enervated, pale as a corpse, flitted through his mind. Months of intense preparation, of working herself to the bone, of putting her life on the line – turned into ash.

Seulgi rose to her feet. She strode towards Lee Sungsoo, eyes unblinking. “No. I’m going to perform.”

Johnny observed Youngran as she put a petticoat on her doll, trying her best to do up the tiny buttons with her stubby toddler fingers. She was extremely focused, making sure of the smallest details. There was something oddly therapeutic about watching Youngran play – sometimes it let him learn a little more about the little human who was one half of him.

“Youngran,” he asked, her hair and putting his chin on her shoulder, “your birthday is in about one month, right? What birthday present do you want?”

Youngran looked up from her toys. “A Barbie.”

Johnny arched his brows, staring at the fully-dressed doll still clutched in her small hands. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Didn’t Daddy just buy you this one?”

She stared at him, slightly confused. He could tell she was seriously considering her options. She had a serious, yet innocent way about her, and honestly if she asked for a hundred more Barbie dolls, he would have just happily acquiesced.

He patted her on the back. “How about this? I’ll give you one wish. When you know what you wish for, you can tell me, and I’ll fulfill it.”

Youngran broke into a wide smile and nodded her head. She was so adorable, Johnny thought his chest would burst.

“Yeri – Yeri– Kim Yerim!” Wendy’s shouts echoed through the corridor. The door to Youngran’s door was ajar. Johnny heard her slam her phone on the table and march over the threshold.

“Everything okay?” Johnny asked, watching his wife stomp into his daughter’s room and plop herself on Yo