21

circles

Seulgi climbed into his car, shutting the door behind her before the cold could follow her in. It was the time of the year when it was neither autumn nor winter – there were some red-gold leaves, but it was already too ing cold.

Perhaps it was also because Jaehyun had the habit of not switching on the heater. She looked to her right. Even under the dim lights of the parking lot, his lips were a sickly kind of blue. She used to remind him that a few extra bucks wasn’t worth him turning into a popsicle, that if he could spend on vintage LPs then he definitely had enough to keep warm. “But I’ve got you,” he would say, shooting her a cheeky wink, and she would roll her eyes as she squeezed his hand.

Seulgi sighed. That wasn’t even too long ago. So when did they turn into this?

He had texted her an hour before that he was heading to her place, phrasing it more as an announcement than a request for permission. She would have been fine, if her entire group hadn’t decided to bunk at her place for the weekend. She wasn’t about to expose the vulnerabilities of their relationship to her groupmates, even if the entire company seemed to already know that they were on the rocks. So there they were, back at his car, parked at a godforsaken parking lot.

From the corner of his eyes, Jaehyun saw Seulgi pull her sweater over her collarbones. “Are you cold?” he asked, fingers hovering over the switch.

“No,” Seulgi lied. She knew how much he hated his heater.

But he switched it on anyway, like he had a built-in Seulgi lie detector. Seulgi tried to stifle her sigh of relief, feeling the warmth rush through her frigid veins. She wondered if being nice to her was his way of telling her that they were done.

Seulgi in a breath. “About what happened…” she started.

“I know,” Jaehyun murmured, staring ahead at the bushes lining the boundaries of the parking lot. “It was all on Jongin-sunbae. You were probably just standing there, having a conversation with him, when he–“

Jaehyun paused. Seulgi felt a prickle at her heart. He still had a sad look in his eyes, and if she didn’t feel like she was going to make things worse, she would have wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It wasn’t your fault.” He stilled himself, trying to collect his thoughts. “Seul,” he sighed, “I just feel like things haven’t been right between us. It’s been like this for a while now.”

“I’m sorry,” Seulgi repeated, though he was probably sick of hearing her apologize. “I’ve just been so caught up with preparations for my solo comeback.”

“Yeah, and I know what that’s like. I’m not talking about you being busy,” he said, turning to her. “It’s a combination of things, right?”

“Jaehyun–“

“It’s about you not letting me show up for your comeback promotions, you not telling me about you being troubled about what you saw that night you and Jungwoo picked me up, you and Jongin-sunbae at that weekend at Gangneung, and now this,” Jaehyun said. He ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly. “I just wonder if you’re losing interest in me, Seul.”

Seulgi’s eyes widened in shock. “Wh– What?” she gaped. “You’re not serious, right?”

“You can’t blame me for thinking that way,” Jaehyun pointed out. “It’s a reasonable assumption, considering all that’s happened.”

Seulgi inhaled so sharply she could hear the air filling up her lungs. Is this what he’s been trying to figure out the whole time? Seriously?

“Look,” she said, “I admit that Jongin crossed the line. Perhaps I did, too, just by virtue of me being there. But I didn’t think it would happen.” She turned her head and transfixed her firm gaze on him. “But Jaehyun, we’re both busy people, with our own share of exes, crushes, past relationships. And everyone’s in the same industry–“

“I know, I know,” Jaehyun interrupted. “If this is about Rosé and me, then yes,” he sighed again, “I did run into her at the club. She was also out of line. But I promise, nothing happened, and I didn’t do anything to overstep my boundaries.”

“And neither did I!” Seulgi shot back. “Would you have liked it if I went at Rosé that night? Pulled her hair out for making moves on you?”

“Seulgi, Jongin assaulted you!”

“Rosé tried to talk me out of dating you!”

It took her a moment to realize that their initially quiet, civil conversa