JUYEON'S POV

Luda ignored me the entire time that day and I surely wasn’t ready to go through that situation all over again. I didn’t have any idea of why she was acting like that and of course she didn’t give me the chance to know the reason, because when I approached her she ran away from me saying she had homework to do.

Well, we always had homework and in the past few days it didn’t stop us to meet and talk, so I was certain something was wrong with her. I couldn’t stop thinking the reason of all that was me. Did I say something wrong? Did I act strange towards her? Did I put too much pressure on her because of my feelings? I was worried I scared her off. 

Maybe it was because of me, after all, and I hated myself for that. How could I create expectations about our friendship becoming something else? It was hard to deal with Luda’s indifference when we weren’t friends, but now it was becoming impossible to handle.   And it’s been only one day.

The fact is: I was thinking too much and I hated it. I hated overthinking about my feelings and about my actions and about everything. It was never my way of dealing with things. 

So I did the only thing I could: I went after her. It was easier to face it and clarify the situation than creating theories in my head about her weird behavior. And, to be honest, I was tired of all that. Her inconstancy and mood changes were killing me and it would be so much better if she just talked to me about what she was feeling. And easier to understand. 

It was almost night when I found her in the library. I saw her from afar, she hadn’t noticed me yet. Her eyes were focused somewhere ahead and I could see her expression was a bit sad. Why? Why was she sad? I wanted so bad to hold her in my arms and say everything would be ok.

— Hey. — I said when I was getting closer of her, startling her up. She looked scared at me for a moment before her face softened. I smiled. — You really ignored me all day today. — I said and I didn’t want to show how sad I was because of that, but the tone in my voice betrayed me.

— I’m sorry. I was busy. — She replied to me, already getting up and putting her materials in her bag. — Actually, I have to go now-... what are you doing? — I held her arm to stop her from finishing getting her things in. 

— No, you won’t. You won’t until you tell me what’s wrong-g. — I am tired. I really am. My voice cracked at the end and I just let a out a sigh. 

— What? — She laughed without any sense of humor, trying to easy the situation. When I didn’t change my expression, she rolled eyes and gave in, sitting again.

— Why are you avoiding me? — I asked her and my tone was really showing my despair because of her behavior. — Did I do anything wrong? 

— No. — She replied quickly, her face showed the urge to confirm the answer, because she had an expression of despair too. — It’s not you, really.

— Then what it is? Why are you being strange again? It’s like that time when we weren’t friends yet. — I continued, sitting in a chair next to her. I put my hand in her arm to caress the area. She looked at that gesture for seconds before answering me. When she looked at me again, there were tears in her eyes. 

— I’m-... I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. — Luda apologized while whipping her tears off. I got myself inclining to her