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Kai had dragged himself down the street, his head back before reaching for his phone. He had no one to call, as many friends he thought he had, he really had no one to pour his heart to. For a moment, he wondered why he went there but he realized that she was home. He had always found a safe place in her arms because he knew she accepted every part of him and he took that for granted.

Kai moved down the street near a bar before reaching for his phone, calling Baekhyun. It took awhile, but even Baekhyun could hear the strain in Kai’s voice. The man agreed to come quickly to the nearest bar where Kai was at. Whilst waiting for his friend to come, Kai sat down his mind trailing to the memories he had forced himself to forget out of guilt.

“You’re always so quiet these days.” She had said, a smile on her face. There had been no suspicion, no doubt, just love.

Kai had nodded, his hands moving to reply to Jinah’s message before turning back to look at her through the webcam. “I’m just tired.” He replied. He was irritated even though he had no right to be. He was impatient but he knew she wanted to talk.

“I’m sorry you’re so tired.” She had said and instead of melting from her words, all he did was smile and tell her that he had to go.

“But I miss you.” That was the first time she had ever stopped him from hanging up.

“I’m tired.” He replied sharply and for a moment he saw the look of hurt flash through her eyes. “I mean, I’ll talk to you later okay? I need sleep.”

He had hung up.

Kai ordered a bottle of whiskey, pouring the contents into the glass and downing it in one go. He bit his lip as the heat travelled down his throat. The burning sensation seared for awhile until he found himself reviving memories.

“You always think of her.” Jinah’s voice trembled as she held her heel in one hand.

“Calm down, we’re in public.”

“Don’t think I don’t know. You say her name in your sleep.” Jinah hissed, her eyes pooling with tears. “You dream about her. You even say that you need her, and that you love her. When have you ever said you loved me? Before this relationship or even now?”

Kai was tired of fighting with her. He was tired of trying to do right by Jinah who always had to be right.

“Because I don’t love you.” He began and she looked at him, fury and sadness radiating from her.

“You’re still in love with her.” She whispered.

Kai denied it. He denied it through and through. That was until he saw her again.

Kai had forgotten how many drinks he had had but by the time he finished reminiscing, his head was spinning. His throat had tightened up and his chest hurt so bad, he found it hard to breathe. He closed his eyes, trying to make sense of what was happening before a hand reached and touched his shoulder.

“You okay?” Baekhyun asked, sitting down beside him.

“Mhm?” Kai asked absentmindedly, letting out a deep breath. “You know, Hyung—I never realized how much something actually meant to me until it’s not mine anymore. I—” He couldn’t go on.

“It’s about her?” Baekhyun asked, pouring his friend a glass. “You did her wrong, Jongin.”

“I just… she used to be mine. The way she smiles, that smile used to be mine. Her laughter used to be at my jokes. Now I can’t even go close to her.” Kai mumbled, drinking another glass in one go. “How ridiculous is it that I had the best thing in front of me and yet I managed to it up?”

Baekhyun watched his friend get drunker by the minute, knowing that sadness paired with alcohol was the culprit. He had never seen Kai like this, mourning for someone. Kai had always told himself that he didn’t need anyone and when he first dated her, he was smitten. But like very other guy, Kai gave up too easily.

“Take