This can’t be anymore awkward than it already is.

At least that was how I felt as I sat in the backseat of Byul’s car with Irene’s head on my lap while Byul went out to a nearby café to get our drinks.

I still couldn’t believe that a few minutes ago, I caught my girlfriend coming out of a restaurant with Byul – it wasn’t hard to guess that Byul was Irene’s blind date for tonight, but it was a little too much to process at once; even after Byul confirmed it.

Maybe that was why I easily agreed when Byul offered to take me and Irene home in her car – after we get the coffee I promised to get with Irene, which Irene had insisted on before she fell asleep on me.

Rather than coffee, I really wanted some beer. I had a feeling that I was going to have to talk to Byul during the ride home and I didn’t really want to do it sober while my current girlfriend was right there with us – asleep or not.

My thoughts were interrupted when the door to the driver’s side suddenly opened and Byul entered, carrying three drinks in a paper cup holder. Our eyes met when she turned in her seat to look at me and she caught me with my fingers running through Irene’s silky black hair.

I stand corrected. This is even more awkward than before.

But Byul pretended like she didn’t see anything.

“Sorry it took a while,” she placed the drinks in the passenger seat before closing the door, “for some reason, the line’s quite long at this time of night.”

I said nothing.

“So, here’s iced Americano for you,” she handed me the drink without looking at me, “iced chocolate for me and hot tea for Joohyun-ssi, right?”

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll take the tea after you drop us off.”

Byul nodded and turned to the front while strapping herself in. “So, we’re heading to your place or her place?”

“Mine. You still remember where it is?”

“Of course,” Byul smiled as she met my eyes in the rearview mirror, “hard to forget the place we said our goodbyes at.”

“Byul…”

“I know, I know,” Byul chuckled, “we don’t want your girlfriend discovering we had a thing.”

“Byul!” I hissed, careful to keep my voice low. “Can we just…not talk?”

Byul raised her hands in surrender and nodded. Then, she quietly put the car into drive and started the journey towards my house.

It was a whole minute of peace until Byul started talking again.

“So…is Joohyun-ssi the same woman I saw you with that night?”

I sighed. I guess we’re doing this after all.

“Yes, she is.”

“Does she know about us?”

“There was no ‘us’, Byul.”

“Ouch,” I could see Byul making an exaggerated gesture of being hurt from the rearview mirror, “I mean it’s true, but still…ouch.”

I rolled my eyes. “Didn’t know you were such a drama queen…”

“Well,” Byul chuckled, “I didn’t exactly have time to show you every side of me, remember?”

There was a brief silence between us. I should have been content with that, but since we were talking anyways, I had some questions of my own.

“Tell me who you really are.”

“Ah. I guess I forgot the introductions.” Byul cleared and started introducing herself as if she just stepped out of a drama set in Joseon era. “Good day, fair lady. I am called Moon Byulyi. My father is the honorable CEO of Moon Enterprise and I am currently in training to be his successor.”

“You’re not funny.”

“Oh yes, I am because I can see your mouth twitching in amusement in the mirror.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. You’re a little funny. But,” I glanced at Irene and suddenly felt gloomy, “are you really going through with the arranged marriage? Irene said she was going to sabotage the date, but you two looked cozy back at the restaurant.”

Byul smirked. “Jealous?”

“Of course. She’s my girlfriend.”

“There’s no need for all that,” Byul’s smirk softened into a smile, “Joohyun-ssi and I have agreed to work together and find a way around this whole marriage thing. Don’t worry, Wheein-ah.”

“Don’t get familiar with me, Miss Moon,” I said stiffly, too aware of Irene’s presence and that she could wake up at any moment, asking questions I didn’t really know if I want to answer, “we’re supposed to be strangers.”

“I know,” I heard a soft sigh coming from Byul, “but I couldn’t help calling out your name.”

Suddenly, there was a tight squeeze in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. I recognized the emotion, but I refused to acknowledge it.

No. We’re not going there again. Remember Irene? She’s your girlfriend now, dammit!

In spite all the warning bells, alarms and screaming going on inside my head, I couldn’t help wanting to ask Byul the one question I had always forbid myself from asking.

“Hey, Byul…”

“Hm?”

Were you in love with me?

My mouth suddenly went dry. The words were right there, at the tip of my tongue, but I froze up – for some reason, I felt scared to hear her answer.

“Ah. No…it’s nothing.”

Byul glanced at the rearview mirror, her eyes filled with concern.

“What is it, Wheein-ah?”

“It’s nothing,” I said, a little harsher than I meant to.

Byul gave me one last look before turning her attention back to the front. “If you say so.”

A few minutes later, we arrived in front of my apartment building.

Byul stopped the car and unbuckled her seatbelt. “We’re here,” she turned around in her seat, ready to hand me Irene’s drink, “will you be okay getting her home by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine. Irene,” I whispered in Irene’s ear as I gently shook her shoulder, “wake up. We’re here.”

Irene stirred with a soft grunt and slowly sat up. “Where is here?” she mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes with one hand.

“My place,” I replied as I took Irene’s hot tea – it was lukewarm now though – from Byul, “I got your tea as promised.”

Irene nodded and accepted the tea from me. She took a little sip and sighed. “It’s cold,” she mumbled, “but it’s still good.”

“Feel a little better?”

She nodded. “Just sleepy…”

“Let’s get you to bed then.”

Without saying another word, Irene opened the car door and alighted first.

“Um…thanks,” I said awkwardly as I followed Irene out of the car, “for the ride and for the drinks.”

Byul smiled. “Anytime.”

“So…” I hesitated, one hand on the door handle, “…this is goodbye then.”

“Yeah,” Byul chuckled, “I thought we got good at this.”

I shrugged. “We’ll get used to it.”

Something flitted across Byul’s eyes, but just for a split second; too quick for me to understand what it meant.

“Maybe, but-”

The car door was suddenly slammed shut, cutting off whatever Byul was trying to say. It wasn’t me; it was Irene.

I found myself staring into Irene’s impassive face. “Um, Irene?”

“You’re taking too long,” she muttered as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the lobby, “and I said I was sleepy.”

I glanced over my shoulder at Byul’s car. It stayed there until after we entered the lobby; I only heard the sound of a car speeding away. But Irene didn’t let me go until we were inside the elevator.

“That hurt,” I said as I massaged my wrist, “is something wrong?”

“Let’s talk later.”

I suddenly had a bad feeling. My guts were twisting wildly inside my stomach, telling me that I should brace myself for every possibility. But it didn’t stop me for being scared of what was going through inside Irene’s mind.

Irene was silent even after we entered my apartment. She placed her drink on the kitchen counter and headed straight for the bedroom. I followed her without a word, closing the bedroom door behind me. The only sources of light in the room were the streetlights and the stars shining through the window.

I took a deep breath. “Irene…”

“What exactly happened between you and Byulyi-ssi?”

Irene was staring out the window, hands wrapped around her body while her back was turned towards me. I couldn’t see her face and it scared me.

“I don’t know what you-”

“Spare me the lies, Whee,” she slowly turned around and I could clearly see the anguish written all over her face in spite of the poor lighting, “I was awake the whole time. I heard you two talking.”

I ran a hand through my hair and looked away. I was starting to get irritated with this topic, but I held myself back. “Then you know there’s nothing to tell...”

“You were too familiar with each other for it to be nothing.”

“There really was nothing!” I had never raised my voice at Irene before, but I couldn’t stop myself. “We didn’t get to start anything because she suddenly disappeared on me! Happy?!”

The look on Irene’s face changed and I could only see her concern now. She slowly approached me and cupped my face with both of her hands.

“Whee,” she whispered, her voice soft and filled with warmth, “were you in love with her?”

I suddenly I felt a familiar squeeze inside my chest. It was getting hard to breathe and my eyes were stinging as if something was trying to come out, pushing their way out of me.

No. Please, no.

As if she had read my mind, Irene pulled me into her arms and started to rub soothing circles on my back. “It’s okay, Whee,” her voice was soft and gentle in my ear, “let it all out.”

It felt like a dam burst from inside of me – everything that I was holding back started to pour out. It started with a tiny gasp and then a tear rolled down my cheek, followed by loud, heart-wrenching sobs that I never thought I was going to hear again.

I held on to Irene as if she was my last lifeline and I let myself felt everything that I hadn’t let myself felt in the past year – the pain, the anger, the longing – as if everything was fresh and new again, as if I was back to that time when I first lost Byul.

Hey, Byul.

Were you in love with me?

Because I was a little bit in love with you.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N:

I FINALLY GET TO UPDATE!!! XD

I'm sorry it took so long but I always have trouble finding ways to direct the story the way I want it to go.

It's a mess of a chapter, but I'm happy with it considering I woke up at 1:45AM and updating this at 06:00AM lol

Oh and a song recommendation for this chapter or overall Wheebyul vibe in this story: Diamond Crevasse from the anime Macross Frontier ( link to the youtube vid here because I can't find it on Spotify ^^; ) It sounds even better with headphones on =)

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

P.S. If you're interested in Macross Frontier, I recommend watching the tv anime and not the movie BECAUSE ALTO DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE WITH SHERYL. Thank you.