This was torture.

Why did I put myself through this?

I had suggested to Byul that we spend Saturday together because I was bored, Kkomo missed her and, well, I missed her too. It was stupid because I just saw her yesterday (when I came to pick up Kkomo), but yes, I missed her.

It had been barely a week (five days to be exact) since I hired Byul to be my cat-sitter and now I was crushing on her. Was this how it was between those cheating dads and their drop dead gorgeous nannies?

Except I’m Kkomo’s mom, I am sadly single and Byul is Kkomo’s cat-sitter….

So that was how I ended up on a couch in Byul’s apartment, on a Saturday morning, videotaping my cat-sitter doing crunches while my kid sat on her chest, quietly staring at her as she made weird faces at him every time she came up.

I was actually quite impressed with myself – my hands were holding the camera like a rock while my eyes were permanently stuck to that little patch of exposed skin between the top of her hip-hugging shorts and the edge of her slightly lifted T-shirt. I unconsciously raised a hand to wipe at my mouth; I was sure I was drooling because my jaw had gone slack the moment Byul started her crunches.

Yes, this was quite the torture – just sitting here, watching those muscles moving so deliciously under smooth, toned skin and not being able to touch it; pure torture.

A soft chuckle snapped me out of my reverie.

Byul was done with her crunches and was now sitting upright, bumping her nose with Kkomo’s small one. The cat her nose and she grinned, wrinkling her nose in the process. I was envious of both of them – Byul, for having Kkomo’s full attention and Kkomo, for being at the receiving end of that smile.

I shook my head and ended the recording, feeling a little silly for being jealous of my cat’s bond with his cat-sitter. I should really be happy for them because that meant Kkomo would be in good hands from now on.

Suddenly, Byul got up and brought Kkomo over to the couch. She plopped down on the couch next to me, our arms brushing against each other. She had her T-shirt sleeves rolled up to her shoulders while I was wearing a short-sleeved blouse; our arms were and touching and there was a slight static feeling that made me almost break out into a nervous giggle. Almost, because I made the wise decision to clamp my teeth down on my bottom lip; I was still smiling, however, and hopefully Byul didn’t notice.

I quickly glanced at her, just to make sure.

I was right; Byul didn’t notice. She was too absorbed with Kkomo to even spare a glance in my direction. I was already prepared for the disappointment, but it was still frustrating to be right.

Yes, this is torture. Pure torture.

I let out a soft sigh and leaned back into the couch, averting my attention towards the camera in my hands. I scrolled through the gallery and tapped on the video I took earlier. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I watched Byul’s one-sided interaction with Kkomo. It was honestly too cute.

“Y-You…t-took…i-it…w-well…”

I let out a surprised yelp when I heard a raspy voice in my ear. My hand shot up to cover my ear and my head snapped to my right. I saw Byul looking at me with wide, concerned eyes while Kkomo looked at me with his ears flattened; I probably surprised him too. I let out a small laugh to break the sudden awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head and smiling sheepishly, “it’s just…you surprised me…”

“S-Sorry…”

“No, no. It’s okay. Here,” I handed her the camera, “you two watch it while I cook something for lunch.”

Her face lit up at the word “lunch” and I swore Kkomo’s eyes were shining too. Their somewhat similar reactions were cute and amusing; I wanted so badly to kiss them – I mean, I have no problem with Kkomo; Byul was a different story.

Hoping that I wasn’t blushing too much, I settled for an eye-roll and a chuckle before heading into the kitchen.

Lunch was quite productive.

I got to learn that Byul was working as a freelancer – mostly proofreading and ghostwriting articles while also taking on odd jobs like data entries for extra money. I also learned that she had not been home (her parents’ home) in over a year. She spared me the details, but I suspected it had something to do with that scar on her neck. It troubled me to think that one of her family members could have harmed her.

When I voiced my concern, she just smiled at me; a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“I-It’s…f-fine...i-it’s…n-not…th-them…i-it’s…m-me…”

She refused to talk about her family anymore and I didn’t have the heart to pry further. I didn’t want to see her looking depressed, so I started talking about Kkomo and how I got to adopt him. I knew it worked because her face softened and that adorable crooked smile was finally directed at me, instead of Kkomo. My heart was singing and I let it; mostly because I was too busy smiling back at Byul and staring into her eyes to care.

After lunch, we settled in the living room and watched a random show on the TV together. Actually, I was the only one watching; Byul and Kkomo were busy playing on the floor. Soon enough, I got too distracted by them that I started watching them playing instead, letting the TV become a background noise.

After a while, Byul threw in the towel and laid sprawled on her back. Kkomo jumped onto her chest and looked at her with his head tilted, probably wondering what was happening to his playmate. Byul just smiled up at him; tired, but happy.

I shook my head and smiled to myself.

Did I hire a sitter or a playmate for Kkomo? I honestly don’t know anymore…

“Come on, Kkomo-ya,” I cooed as I went over to pick up Kkomo, “you can play with mommy next.”

Kkomo obediently played with me, but he must have been exhausted from playing with Byul earlier because a few minutes in and he plopped himself down, softly snoring. I chuckled at the sight of him sprawled across my lap; even gentle on his head were not enough to disturb his slumber.

“A-Asleep…?”

I looked up and smiled. “Yeah, he is.”

Byul had gotten up at some point and had gone into the kitchen to grab two glasses of water. She handed me one now and settled down on the floor next to me. The soft look in her eyes as she smiled down at Kkomo made me feel envious once again. Without realizing it, a small sigh escaped me.

“Wh-what’s…wr-wrong…?”

I was startled by her query; I didn’t realize she had heard me. That was when I noticed how close we were sitting; her face was inches apart from mine. I felt the blood rushing to my face and I quickly averted my eyes – only to end up staring at instead.

.

“N-Nothing’s wrong,” I squeaked as I tore my gaze away from her triangle-shaped mouth.

But I made the mistake of looking up into her eyes – those beautiful brown orbs were quick to me in. I swallowed hard, resisting every urge in my body to just grab her face and crash our mouths together.

Suddenly, a shrill ringtone cut through the air and I felt immensely relieved when Byul looked away to grab her phone. She stared at the screen with her brows furrowed together and was set in a grim line; she didn’t seem like she wanted to answer the call.

The phone fell silent after a few more rings and Byul let out a relieved sigh. But a second later, the phone came to life again and Byul ran a hand through her dark hair, looking extremely frustrated. She looked at me and I knew what she was trying to say before she even said it.

“Go,” I said with a smile, “it must be important.”

Byul gave me an apologetic smile before hopping to her feet and headed into her bedroom to answer the call. I wondered who it was on the other line to put such a distressed look on Byul’s face; I wondered if it was a call from her family.

I shook my head; it was honestly none of my business.

I directed my attention to Kkomo instead. He was still sleeping, completely oblivious to his surroundings. I smiled and gently the length of his body, humming a lullaby that he loved. Without meaning to, my eyes wandered back to the closed bedroom door and my mind started forming their own conclusions.

Suddenly, I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder.

I blinked a few times until Byul’s smiling face came into view. “What happened?” I mumbled, feeling unusually lethargic.

“Y-You…f-fell…a-asleep…”

“O-Oh…”

My cheeks warmed when I realized that I had been resting my head on Byul’s shoulder. I quickly scooted away, putting a little space between us. That was when I realized that Kkomo was no longer on my lap; he was wide awake and was occupied with his toys.

I figured that if I looked at Byul right now, while my head was still foggy from sleep, I might do something dangerous, so I let my eyes wander everywhere else. My gaze landed on the wall clock and I realized that I had overstayed my welcome.

“Oh, it’s almost seven,” I murmured as I started to get up, “we’ve been here the whole day. We should go-”

Suddenly, I felt a hand wrapped around my wrist, tugging it gently yet firmly. I looked over at Byul questioningly and she gave me a shy smile in response.

“S-Stay…h-have…d-dinner…together…”

I wondered if it had something to do with the call earlier; she seemed a little down and much quieter. The biggest clue was probably her not playing with Kkomo like she did earlier.

Concern tugged at my heart and I suddenly felt that I should not leave just yet. So I smiled at her and nodded. “Okay, let’s have dinner together. But this time,” I grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, “you have to help.”

It was the right decision after all – her face brightened up considerably and she didn’t even protest when I dragged her into the kitchen. I was highly aware that it was bold of me to take her hand like that, but I didn’t care; her hand felt warm and right inside mine and that was all that mattered.