July 2020

A month after Jinyoung and Jisoo parted

Blackpink dorm

. . . 

Outside, Jennie, Chaennie, and Lisa were watching their last WGM episode at the dorm's living room. Jisoo stayed in in bed - she couldn't find it in her heart to watch it. And besides, she already watched the rough cut with manager-unnie to make sure everything they included in the episode was alright with Jisoo. 

Thanks to the editing, their separation looked so amicable and peaceful - totally different from what she felt in real life. 

There were times when she would be overcome with so much sadness that she would rush to her room and cry for hours, listening to his voice over and over again. Then, sometimes she would remember random moments with him and she would be so happy and giddy. Jinyoung, even in his absence, was making her crazy. 

Jennie came in her room after a while. 

"How was it?" Jisoo asked.

Jennie smiled. "We cried. It was beautiful."

She could feel the waterworks coming in, but she smiled. "Good. That last episode better have the best rating out of all the other WGM episodes - I had my heart broken because of it." 

Jennie frowned as her unnie laughed an emotionless Ha ha ha.

"Unnie, congratulations!" Blackpink's maknae line burst in her room and enveloped her in hugs. 

"Ya, enough playing around," Jisoo said. "Sleep early, girls. We have rehearsals tomorrow."  

. . .

September 2020

Inkigayo

It was Lisa who informed her that Got7 is also going to present in this week's Inkigayo. 

"Unnie, Bambam wanted me to tell you they're also going to perform for Inkigayo this week." 

Jisoo couldn't help but smile at the support she gets from their friends. Lisa would often contact Bambam and ask about Jinyoung on her behalf, or sometimes Jackson would text Jennie and tell her random things about Jinyoung, sometimes teasing her about Jaebum. 

"He hasn't contacted you at all?" Jennie asked. 

"Nope," Jisoo answered. "And I haven't contacted him either."

Chaennie hugged her. "You're so strong, unnie. You must miss him a lot." 

"I do," Jisoo admitted. "But don't tell him that. I don't think it's helpful to let each other know things like these." 

"Noona," Bambam, the MC, said. "You saw the script, right?" 

Jisoo nodded with a smile. There were at the taping when Bambam approached her backstage. 

"I'm sorry, I have to say it," he said sheepishly. 

Jisoo laughed at him. "What are you talking about? It's totally fine. Do it without worry." She patted his back as they took their places on stage. 

"Ah, Bambam-ah," one of the MCs, BTOB Eunkwang said. "Aren't you close with Jisoo-sshi?" 

"Yes, I am," Bambam answered, smiling at her. "We became close because she's virtually married to my hyung, Jinyoung-sshi." 

"Wow," Eunkwang commented with wide eyes. "Also, Jisoo-sshi was MC for Inkigayo, right? It's an honor to be in the presence of a sunbaenim."

Jisoo laughed, pretending to hit Eunkwang. 

"But enough about that - let's talk about Blackpink's comeback!" 

"Yes," Jennie answered, "Our comeback's concept includes solo songs from all of us..." 

Jisoo's mind wandered off, reminiscing the times she, Jinyoung and their little baby maknae Doyoung were in this place, except they were MCs. It seemed so long ago. Back then, Jisoo felt an undeniable attraction to Jinyoung, but she never thought that their relationship would go this far. 

Thank you, Inkigayo, for bringing him to me, she thought happily. She bounced in place, and Jennie nudged her. 

She waved at the camera and pretended to dance. 

When she finally saw Jinyoung, it was during near the end of the broadcast when the artist are all gathered together on stage. He was on the other side with Got7 and BTOB, looking so lovely she wasn't sure her heart can take it. 

They were instructed to take the front stage because they were nominated to win this week. 

She purposely avoided looking in his direction, sparing her own heart from hoping. She held on to Lisa's hand, afraid of drifting closer to him. Her friends stood by her, supporting her. She felt like the maknae today instead of being the oldest.