Believer   Warnings: violence, blood, swearing

 

     I finished the Pater Noster, looking up at the crucified Jesus from my seat. Sometimes praying calmed me. In this cruel world, I believe there is still a little good in us…at least in some of us. There is someone up there that wants us to go on the right path and do good things and not fall for the things that only make us sin. I wasn’t always like this, no, not at all. God and things like that didn’t exist for me. I was raised as a Catholic, but honestly I never believed in stuff like that. However, two years ago, my parents got into a car accident. It was a very serious accident and my parents were supposed to die, at least not a single one doctor thought they’d survive. My mother was in coma for half a year, while my father had serious injuries at his vertebral colon, and he wasn’t supposed to walk ever again. Yet there he is, walking every single day to his workplace and back. After my mom woke up from her coma, she needed half a year to recover from everything. And here they are, living their life happily like nothing happened. After my mom recovered, she patted my cheek and the first thing she said to me was, “See, you just have to believe”. Since then, I believe, I sincerely do and am thankful to God for saving my parents, for giving them back to me.

“Y/N, you are here” A familiar voice said with a warm voice, making me look in the direction of the altar. There stood Father Jongdae, with his signature wide smile.

“Father” I stood up with a smile, bowing at him.

“Come, come” Jongdae beaconed me over hurriedly, and you rarely see him this excited.

“Father, why are you so excited?” I asked with a chuckle, following him out the church and up the stairs that led to his room.

“If you hurry, you’ll see” He laughed, opening the door to the library. You had to go through the library first to get to his room. As we passed by the kitchen, I crouched down and patted Kiki, Jongdae’s cat, head making her purr appreciatively. I chuckled when Jongdae had an impatient frown on his calming features and I quickly hurried over. He held the door to his room open, ushering me inside. Four nuns were surrounding the sofa, one religion teacher standing behind them laughing.

“Praised be Jesus Christ” I greeted with a bow the ladies inside, making them turn towards me.

“Now and forever, amin!” They said in chorus, smiling at me sweetly.

“Darling, you came” Mrs. Lu, the religion teacher, said with a smile.

“Father over here was so excited, I can see why” I muttered with a smile, making the ladies chuckle.

“He, for sure wasn’t excited over us” Choi nun laughed “He sees us daily”

“That’s true” Jongdae nodded with a fake frown.

“Then may I know what is everyone so excited over?” I raised my eyebrows, finally growing impatient.

“Y/N, Y/N” An old voice called from behind the nuns, making my eyes widen.

“Grandma, you are back!” I exclaimed, the ladies stepping away, letting me walk up to Grandma Kim. Now, don’t understand it wrongly, she isn’t my grandmother but she is so old everyone just calls her grandma.

“Of course, didn’t I promise I’d come back?” Grandma laughed, voice hoarse. I leaned down and hugged her tightly, happy to see her again. She is unfortunately sick and had been hospitalized for almost two months now. It’s a relief to see her out and healthier than before.

“I’m glad you kept your promise” I smiled, letting her pat my cheeks with a proud smile. Wrinkles covered the once gorgeous face of Grandma Kim, her illness getting the worst of her.

“I missed you” She said with a sad smile, I took a seat beside her.

“I missed you too, grandma” I smiled at her, combing through her grey hair, making her smile warmly “We have a lot to catch up on”

“Well, didn’t you miss this son of yours?” Jongdae chimed in, arms opened with a grin.

“Oh, I certainly didn’t, Jongdae” Grandma frowned, shaking her head disapprovingly. Jongdae’s grin dropped, leaving him with a frown.

“But grandma, I’m your favourite guy!” Jongdae leaned closer to her “Your first and only love”

“Definitely not” Grandma chuckled “My love died a long time ago, but you are still here and pretty healthy as I see”

“Grandma” Jongdae whined, a pout forming on his lips.

“You are such a kid” Grandma shook her head, patting Jongdae’s head “Sometimes I can’t believe you are a priest”

“A handsome one” Jung nun said, watching from the chair “I will never understand why such pretty face choose this path”

“Jung!” The eldest nun exclaimed “How can you say such thing!”

“I don’t know, it’s not a crime to appreciate someone’s good looks” Jung nun shrugged, her being the youngest. She was funny to hang out with and sometimes she was too reckless.

“And you” Grandma sighed, looking at Jung nun “are just like Jongdae, a perfect match made in heaven” Everyone burst out laughing at the pun, making Jongdae clutch his stomach.

“That was a good one, grandma” Jongdae patted her knee “We really missed you”

“I’m glad to see nothing changed while I was gone” Grandma smiled a toothy smile, making us smile back. However, I couldn’t stay for longer as I saw what time it was when I checked the clock. I promised mom I would cook dinner with her, but I was almost late. I quickly stood up and bowed at the ladies, telling them why I had to leave, and they wished a good time for me. Jongdae accompanied me downstairs, walking inside the church as I had to grab my purse that I accidentally forgot on the bench. He bid me farewell as he had to get ready for the evensong, and I promised to stop by tomorrow since the flowers I ordered for the church arrived today and I still had to decorate the garden behind the church. As I made my way towards the exit of the church, I spotted a figure in the last row of benches. He was dressed in all black, a black cap placed beside him. His hands were in his lap, fingers intertwined. His gaze was always trained to the front, eyes always unfocused. What I always found interesting about this man was his hair. It was black with dark blue highlights, always falling over his left eye, only his right eye visible. I never really payed attention to his face, but I got a feeling he was absolutely handsome. He came at least once every three weeks. I had been seeing him around for the past two months…the past two months since a serial killer took residence in our usually safe city. The police barely got traces of the killer, he was careful always not to leave one. His killing antics were pretty basic, if I can call it like that. One stab in the stomach and another in the heart. He never missed the heart, cut right through it. And yes, it seems like I watch too much news but I’m usually bored so I try to occupy myself.

    “Noona” Jisung cried, gripping the bottom of my t-shirt. I crouched down and took him in my arms, patting his back as I went and sat down, placing him in my lap.

“Noona” Jisung sniffing quietly “Mark pushed me down and then said I’m a cry baby”

“Oh” I cooed, patting his back as he slowly calmed down “Mark was wrong to say such thing. You are not a cry baby”

“He always says that” Jisung muttered, lips forming a pout.

“Maybe he wants to be your friend and he doesn’t know how to get your attention” I smiled encouragingly at Jisung. He shook his head with a frown.

“I don’t like Mark, he won’t be my friend” He muttered angrily “My friends are Chenle, Renjun, Jaemin and Jeno”

“If Mark apologizes, would you be friends with him?” I asked with a grin, leaning closer.

“Maybe” Jisung whispered with a small smile.

“Let’s go and find Mark then” I got up, placing Jisung down and lead the way to where Mark was playing with his friends. I patted Mark’s shoulder, making him turn around.

“Noona” He smiled, but his smile disappeared when he saw Jisung hiding behind me.

“Mark, I want to speak with you” I told the boy older than Jisung by a few years.

“Okay” He muttered, following us outside in the hallway that was full with joyful kids playing around.

“Mark, I’m sure you know you did something wrong” I said loudly, sitting down to be eye level with the two little boys.

“No” Mark muttered, avoiding my eyes.

“Well, Jisung over here told me that you pushed him down and called him a cry baby?” I raised my eyebrows at Mark. His head shot up at Jisung, a small glare directed at the teary boy.

“Mark” I called out warningly, making him look down.

“Okay, it’s true” He said with a shrug.

“And? You think it was right to say those words?” I raised my eyebrows, making him shrug.

“No” He muttered, ears turning red.

“Then why did you do it?” I made the boy look at me “You know you hurt Jisung, right?”

“I know” Mark muttered quietly, looking ashamed.

“May I know why you did it?” I raised my eyebrows, turning my voice a little soft.

“Because—” Mark glanced at Jisung, seeing him looking at the ground with a sad expression “I thought it was funny and the others thoughts so too”

“Ah, I see” I nodded, pulling Jisung closer to me “I think you should apologize”

“I’m—sorry, Jisung” Mark looked at Jisung, eyes holding remorse.

“It’s okay” Jisung said with a timid smile.

“Really?” Mark asked surprised “I thought you hated me”

“Well, I did—but you apologized” Jisung chuckled, holding his hand out “Let’s go play!”

“Thank you, noona!” Mark exclaimed as the two boys ran away, leaving me with a wide smile on my lips. Ah, these kids.

    “Kang Y/N” The voice was loud at the other end of the phone, making me cringe away “How are you?”

“Soojung, can you speak louder?” I scoffed, making sure no car was coming while I crossed the street.

“Yes! Do you prefer me speaking like this?” Soojung practically shouted into the phone, making me almost shriek at the loud voice.

“No! Stop it! I’m telling you Han nun” I hissed, pouting while rubbing my ear.

“Pff, what a friend you are” Soojung’s voice sounded strained and I’m pretty sure she just rolled her eyes. Want to take Soojung down? Just mention Han nun and every problem of yours is instantly solved, (Jung nun is Soojung if you didn’t realize).

“I love you too, Soojung” I chuckled, walking faster to get to the church. The hot sun was making me sweat and if there’s one thing I hate, that’s sweating.

“Where are you now?”

“Almost at the church, you know how I promised Jongdae I’d organize the garden” I answered, greeting the old ladies that already knew me from coming so much to the church.

“Jesus, Y/N, you spend more time in that church than I spent my whole life–and I’m a nun”

“I just like being there and Jongdae is really funny, plus…I have nothing better to do” I shrugged even though she couldn’t see me. I adjusted the straps to my bag as I pushed open the gate to enter the church premises.

“Yeah, you should be more careful though” Soojung sighed and the line was silent until she spoke again “There was another murder, Y/N. I’m just getting this weird feeling and I think I’m actually scared, you know. You should be really careful”

“Yeah, I know, I saw it too” I sighed, pushing open the door to the small backdoor that was behind the church. It lead to a big room full with everything you needed and right now I needed a table where I could place my things and get some job done.

“Be careful?” Soojung asked, voice laced with worry “And don’t stay until too late, yeah?”

“Okay, speak to you later” I smiled, hanging up. Looking around, I found my usual clothes I leave here and went to change into them, knowing that I will sweat once again so much. Pulling my hair in a ponytail, I pulled on the green gloves and took the small hack, going for the garden.

First, I have to unplug all the dead flowers and refresh the soil a little bit and then place some nutrition on it, since I heard they do good to the flowers as well. Crouching down, I groaned a little when my colon popped loudly, I think I need to do more exercises. So with a smile on my face, I started working. The faster the better.

I’m pretty sure one hour passed since I’m out and trying to make the soil get healthier. I actually don’t exactly know how plants work, but my mother once tried teaching me and since I am nice enough, I promised Jongdae I would do it.

Staring proudly at the now dead flower free soil, I dusted down my pants, taking my gloves off and went to the front of the church. They were inside since Jongdae insisted we’d keep them inside where it’s not just cold, but the holy energy will make them bloom better. I laughed, because it was really funny, I don’t think flowers work that way. Pushing open the big door, I shivered when I was met with the cold air from inside. It was always so cold inside the church that sometimes it was painful to walk back out in the blazing heat.

Spotting the big, beautiful, red and purple colored flowers I took two pots into my hands, hugging one to my chest. I walked to the entrance, thinking I’ll struggle with opening the doors, but it was actually opened and I stumbled a little bit forward, almost falling into the guy.

“Oh, sorry” I muttered, not paying attention to him as I passed by, the pots were too heavy. Quickly running back to the garden, I planted the flowers where I thought they’d look prettier and walked back to the church with a smile on my face, taking the two other flowers. Since the flowers were big I couldn’t see too well in front of me and I yelped when I hit something.

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed when I saw I actually hit a person.

“Well, I’m not exactly him” The boy chuckled, voice smooth. I smiled a little bit embarrassed, but realized this was the boy I would see from time to time in the church.

“Uhm, I’m sorry, I can’t exactly see from these flowers” I muttered, neck heating up.

“Don’t worry—want me to help you?” He asked, eyebrows lifting and I quickly shook my head.

“No, don’t worry! I’ve got this!” I exclaimed and walked past him with a small bow. I felt eyes on me as I walked away and I couldn’t fight the blush appearing on my face. I always admired him from distance and from up close he looked even more handsome. His black hair with dark blue highlights was still falling over his left eye and it gave him a really mysterious aura. His voice was warm, yet it still held a little coldness to it. I glanced back to see him still staring after me and I almost fell to the ground, my shoes catching in some rock I missed to see earlier. God, I’m acting like some little girl who has her first crush. Chuckling at my own thoughts, I kneeled down and pursed my lips, deciding where should I place the remaining flowers. Jongdae better be happy and praise me for my hard work, I didn’t just spend half a day in the blazing sun and sweat, the thing I hate the most.

    The smell of fried chicken was really making me just more hungry than I already was. I was leaning over mom’s shoulder, watching her take the hot pan off the stove.

“Can I help?” I whined for the nth time. Mom never let me help when she was making something and it was really annoying since I was a really good cook too.

“Cut the tomatoes, make a vegetable salad” Mom instructed, throwing away the hot oil.

“Again?” I groaned but still did what she told me to do “Last time I had dinner with you, you only let me make the salad and cut the bread for the creme soup…it’s not fair, mom”

“Stop whining and just do what I told you to do” Mom glared a little at me, placing the pan in the sink “When I’ll go to your house…I’ll let you do all the work”

“That’s still not fair—” I jumped when a loud shout came from the living room, that was dad. He was watching some soccer match, Portugal against Germany…he was for Portugal and I think they just scored.

“Why don’t you go and join your father? That’s fun at least” Mom shrugged, taking out three plates.

“That’s not fun and it’s not my fault you didn’t make a baby brother for me” I shrugged, pursing my lips when mom threw a glare at me.

“Trust me, it was enough for both your father and me to have you—you were always a troublemaker” Mom huffed, crossing her arms as she watched me cut the cucumber “I thought you’d never get your head straight and mature…Do you know how many nights I didn’t sleep because of you, young lady? And you wanted a sibling…I don’t think so”

“Mom” I whined, rolling my eyes “I was young and I wanted to do everything—It’s called being curious!”

“Curious, yeah…more like destroying your life and killing yourself” Mom muttered, placing the plates on the table.

“Not funny” I muttered, cutting the onions too “I changed a lot since then, mom. I work, I go to church and try to be a good daughter, isn’t that what you always wished to have?”

“No, I wanted you to be happy” Mom shrugged, placing the chicken on the table “But if this makes you happy, I am glad you are doing it for yourself”

I mixed all the vegetables I just cut and threw some olive oil and oregano on it, making it have a good taste. Placing the bowl on the table, I sat down and yelled for dad to come since dinner was ready.

“Honey, now!” Mom called impatiently, tapping the table with her long fingers.

“Here!” Dad popped his head inside then quickly walked to his place when he saw all the food on the table.

“Wow, I just became hungrier” He laughed, taking a seat “Y/N, you should come over every night. Your mother doesn’t make anything if you’re not coming”

“That’s not true!” Mom exclaimed offended “I do make food”

“But not this much and yummy” Dad grinned as he placed a big piece of chicken on his plate. I shook my head and served myself with the salad I just made. It was quiet until we were eating, savouring the tasty food. Mom was a really good cook and dad and I always ate whatever she made knowing it was tasty as always. Dad already finished eating and he was drinking his beer quietly, eyeing me with a smile. I glanced at him and raised an eyebrow.

“How’s at the daycare? Are the kids nice with you?” He asked, looking at me interested.

“It’s great, the kids are really nice. Why would they be mean?” I scoffed, pushing my plate away since I finished eating.

“Little kids these days are mean—you were too” Dad shrugged, grinning when I huffed.

“Well, these kids are nice and like me a lot” I said, pursing my lips as I stared at him smugly. Dad laughed and nodded, appreciating that I liked what I was doing.

“And the church? How is your friend?” Mom chimed up, her big eyes wider.

“Jongdae or Soojung?”

“It’s Father Jongdae and Jung nun, honey” Mom muttered, eyes narrowed at me.

“They are my friends so I don’t need to call them that…besides, we aren’t inside the church so it’s fine” I sassed, making mom sigh and dad chuckle.

“I know you were asking about Jongdae” I chuckled, smiling at mom sweetly “He’s really good, like always. Grandma came back, so everyone is really happy”

“Oh, really?” Mom exclaimed surprised “We must visit her then”

“Definitely, I haven’t seen the old lady in a while” Dad nodded, scratching his beard.

“You can visit tomorrow or whenever you have time” I said raising to my feet, taking the dirty plates with myself.

While washing the dishes it started raining pretty hard but I still had to get home, so I bid goodbye to my parents and quickly ran to my car, trying to avoid getting too wet. Sitting in the car, I buckled myself in, starting the engine, my eyebrows furrowing when it made a weird sound. Was there something wrong with the engine? I should probably get it checked as soon as possible. I started the windscreen wiper, slowly driving away from my parent’s house. They were living outside the city, close to the woods. After the accident, my parents decided they wanted a quiet life so they moved to the edge of the city where it was definitely quiet. I decided to stay in the city since I don’t exactly like too quiet places. I like to be around people and places filled with lots of noise, it makes me feel less anxious. The rain was pouring hard and I sighed when I couldn’t make out much and that made me go slowly, annoying me since I liked to speed down this road. There was a sudden weird sound coming outside my car and then the wipers stopped before the whole car stopped working. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried restarting the engine. Wait, no…my car can’t break down right now! Walking back to my parents house in this rain will get me fully soaked since it’s a ten minutes walk and I don’t plan on running that much. I groaned, digging around in my bag for my phone only to find it unresponsive. My phone was dead, amazing! How am I going to ask for help now? I don’t want to run to my parent’s house! Sighing, I rested my cheek against the wheel, thinking what other options I had. But I really had no other, the rain was pouring hard and hitting my car, creating a loud sound each time. The lamp posts were giving me an eery feeling, a shiver running down my spine. I took my bag, stuffing my phone back inside, getting ready to run for ten minutes and get soaked, but right as I took the car’s keys in my hand, a light caught my eyes. Right in front, a few good meters away, two minutes of running probably, stood a small house with the lights . I don’t have to run to my parent’s house anymore, I can just ask for a phone there and everything is done! Smiling at myself, I quickly got out the car, locking it and sprinting down the road towards the lonely house with the lights on. I huffed as rain poured on me, making me shiver, cold seeping through my clothes. I hate rain, did I say that already? It was just a two minutes run yet I got drenched, and I just hope my phone inside my bag is still alive. Standing on the porch, I took a moment to take deep breaths, trying myself to stop from panting too much. Taking another breath, I knocked on the door, my knuckles hitting hard against the door, making sure that whoever was inside heard me. I stood there for a good minute before a shadow appeared at the door and there was a rustling of keys from inside. I bit my lower lip in anticipation, already planning what I will say but I was left without words when the door opened. The guy from the church, the mysterious boy I ran into was standing in front of me, looking just as surprised as me.

“Uhm…hi?” He asked unsure, looking around behind me.

“Hi—I mean, yeah, hi!” I squeaked and mentally cursed myself for reacting like tha