Zhiruo

Zhiruo’s eyes widened as Prince Yixing’s words sunk in.

Yes, I would.

The answer sprang instinctively to her lips, so quickly that Zhiruo could barely hold herself back from giving voice to her thoughts. She bit her lip and clamped down on the impulse, her hands clenching tightly together in her lap.

What right do I have to stay by the prince’s side?

After all, wrongly convicted or not, Zhiruo was still the daughter of an executed rebel supporter. Not only that, she still had vengeance for her family on her hands. Overall, the prince had treated her well, and she did not intend to repay that with trouble.

“Highness, I thank you for your great affection.” She replied softly, “But I fear that I am not worthy of accepting that request.” Prince Yixing shook his head.

“How could you not be?” He asked, “Given your status and skills, you are more than worthy of staying by my side.” Zhiruo smiled faintly.

“Highness, there is more to consider than those things.” She replied.

“Like what?” The prince asked. Zhiruo sighed deeply.

“Your Highness, there are many things you don’t know about me that would be of no benefit to you.” She said carefully, “I do not wish to trouble Your Highness with them.” Prince Yixing sighed softly.

“Stupid girl.” He said, “Did you think that I didn’t know that since the first day you stepped into my manor?” Zhiruo’s eyes widened, and she ducked her head in embarrassment.

“Yes, Your Highness.” She said quietly. Of course he had realized that long ago. The way the prince’s gaze could see right through her, the perceptive nature of his sharp brown eyes, it had been long clear to Zhiruo that he could see beyond the act she carefully placed on the surface.

“But even so,” He continued, “I still want you to stay by my side. If even I am not afraid, if even I do not mind that there are many things that I don’t know about you, what are you afraid of? What is holding you back?” Zhiruo swallowed hard and raised her gaze to look at the prince.

“What if I am not who I say I am?” She asked softly.

Prince Yixing stared at Zhiruo for a long moment before shaking his head.

“I am not sure what you are referring to.” He replied, “But to me, you are simply Shangguan Zhiruo, my personal physician. There is nothing beyond that.” Zhiruo laughed softly.

“Highness, you are a military general.” She said, “Shouldn’t you be suspicious of that statement from me?” Prince Yixing laughed at that too.

“I am willing to trust you, secrets and all.” He answered. Zhiruo’s heart pounded as she gazed at the prince, touched by his sincerity.

“Your Highness.” She said softly, “Why are you willing to trust me even knowing that I have so many secrets? Why do you still want me by your side?”

“Because I-!” Prince Yixing began and then cut off abruptly. A confused look crossed his face before he tried again.

“I want you to stay because I-!” He cut off again mid sentence,his lips pursed in a perplexed expression. Zhiruo tilted her head curiously.

Why can’t he say it?

Prince Yixing sighed softly then took a deep breath.

“I simply do.” He said at last. Zhiruo sighed.

“Your Highness, I- “ She began, then stopped as the prince raised his hand.

“I will not force you.” He replied, “There is still some time for you to think it over. Will you do at least that?” Zhiruo looked into the prince’s earnest gaze and couldn’t bring herself to say no.

“I will.” She replied softly. Prince Yixing nodded, seeming to be satisfied with her answer for now.

“I will return to my room now.” He said, “Get some rest.” Zhiruo nodded and dipped into a polite curtsey.

“Good night, Your Highness.” She said as the prince left. Zhiruo sighed quietly as the doors closed behind the young prince.

Please forgive me, Your Highness.

_______________________________________________________________________

Yixing

Yixing sighed as he closed his room doors behind him and sank down into a chair.

“Zhang Yixing, what is wrong with you?” He muttered. The words had been on the tip of his tongue, just waiting for him to voice his feelings. But at the last moment, no matter how he tried, his voice seemed to stick in his throat, preventing him from confessing. Yixing rubbed his face in exasperation.

Why couldn’t I say it?

It was completely unlike him. As a seasoned military soldier, Yixing hadn’t made it a habit to hesitate, whether it was in speech or his actions. Hesitation often meant death or failure, and it is wasn’t something to treat lightly. But when Zhiruo had gazed up at him, Yixing had hesitated.

Was I...being shy?

Yixing laughed incredulously at the thought. He had never been shy with anything before; the feeling was completely foreign and new to him. But when he had intended to confess, his heart had been pounding as the words stuck in his throat, uncertainty over her reaction and how he should confess holding back his speech. Yixing laughed again and leaned back in his chair to look up at the ceiling.

Shangguan Zhiruo, you truly have completely changed my life.

________________________________________________________________________

Three weeks later

The last day of Zhiruo’s tenure in Yixing’s manor coincided with the auspicious day chosen for Crown Prince Yiwei’s wedding to Princess Rinchen of Tibet, and although he didn’t want to, Yixing had no choice but to leave Zhiruo at home and attend the wedding festivities almost as soon as they returned from surveying the country. He sighed in boredom as the wedding guests danced happily in the large banquet area, his gaze slowly following Yiwei and his bride as they walked around to drink with the guests. Chinese tradition required the bride to wait for her husband inside the wedding chamber, but the princess had insisted on her own traditions to do otherwise. Princess Rinchen has wasted little time after Yixing had rejected her. Before long, she had been glued to Yiwei’s side, and it was more than obvious what she had been trying to do. He knew why Princess Rinchen had chosen Yiwei; it was obvious that the two cousins stood on opposite ends of an underlying power struggle. While Yiwei was the crown prince, Yixing’s accolades on the battlefield made him a powerful figure at court, and a formidable opponent should a fight for the throne break out.  While the king was still alive however, there was nothing Yiwei could do to move Yixing, which meant that all Yiwei could do now was shore up his power while waiting for his turn on the throne. With a marriage alliance to the Tibetan people, that meant that Yiwei’s backing had grown stronger than the unmarried Yixing. It was the perfect way to get back at Yixing for his rejection. At the moment though, that thought was the least of Yixing’s worries. Although Yixing would like to keep his position at court, he had no desires for the throne, after all. And besides, he would much rather be spending his night with Zhiruo instead of sipping aimlessly at his wine.

“Cousin in Law.” Yixing looked up at the voice, a placid smile rising to his face as he saw the newlyweds in front of him.

“Crown Prince, Crown Princess.” He greeted, rising to his feet.

“Thank you for attending our wedding.” Yiwei said, raising his cup, “We will drink this cup to you.” Yixing smiled politely.

“It is my honor.” He replied before downing his wine.

“I do not see your little physician today.” Yiwei noted. Yixing laughed softly, although his eyes narrowed at Yiwei.

“Zhiruo is at home.” He replied, “Cousin, you should not be thinking of other women with your new bride by your side.” Princess Rinchen smiled.

“But Lady Zhiruo is quite the talented woman, to catch the attention of two princes.” She replied, “I look forward to speaking with her more when she returns to the palace.” Yixing’s hands clenched slightly as he caught the underlying malice in the princess’s eyes.

You mean you would love to find a chance to make her fall.

“It will be Zhiruo’s honor.” He replied simply. The newlyweds moved on, and Yixing sighed as he sat back down in his seat. Princess Rinchen had said he would regret not marrying her; he could only imagine what tricks she had up her sleeve. Just the thought itself was exhausting.

When can I go home?

____________________________________________________________________________

Zhiruo

Zhiruo wandered about aimlessly in her rooms, alternating between looking up at the bright moon and staring at the same page in her book.

“The prince is taking a while…” She muttered to no one in particular. It was strange; why was she feeling so uneasy? It was only a royal wedding; it was only natural Prince Yixing was expected to attend. Was it because Princess Rinchen had once shown interest in Prince Yixing? It was clear why she had chosen to marry Crown Prince Yiwei; it was not out of amorous interest, but as a way to get back at Prince Yixing. Now that her position was high up in the royal ranks, who knew what would happen?

What if she’s still interested in him?

Zhiruo’s chest clenched slightly at the thought, and she sighed as she went to sit at her desk.

“What nonsense are you thinking about?” She muttered, “You are leaving soon, what is it to you?” The royal family’s relationships were extremely complicated; it was not her place to interfere or to even speculate about them. Zhiruo sighed as she cupped her cheek in her hand.

“Leaving…” She mumbled. It was odd; here she was, still sitting in the prince’s manor, but an inexplicable tug pulled on her heart every time she thought about how she would be returning to the palace the following morning. Zhiruo sighed deeply.

“I haven’t even told the prince about my past yet…” She whispered. She had decided early on that the prince shouldn’t be pulled into her family matters, but still Zhiruo found herself wavering every time she considered the issue. The prince had been kind to her, and Zhiruo could tell that he truly cared. How could she return such sincerity with deception? Zhiruo’s gaze wandered around the room before her eyes fell on a stack of white paper on her desk. A small smile turned up the corner of her lips.

I will leave it up to the heavens.

__________________________________________________________________________

Yixing

Yixing sighed as he returned to his manor later that night, exhausted from socializing.

“Sometimes, fighting on the battlefield is far easier than smiling all night.” He muttered as he walked along, not paying attention to where he was going. He paused as he found himself staring at a pair of wood and paper doors that was not his own. Yixing stared at the doors for a moment before laughing softly.

“Zhang Yixing, what are you doing?” He chided. Without realizing it, Yixing had wandered all the way to Zhiruo’s room instead of his own, and now that he was here, he was unsure what he was supposed to do.

Leave, you fool!

So logic told him, but Yixing’s feet felt glued to the ground. Knocking on the door was the other option, but that would still seem odd at this time of night. Zhiruo was likely asleep at this hour, and it would be unseemly for her to invite him inside now. Of course, that hadn’t stopped Yixing from going to find her while they were in Luoyang, but...Yixing groaned as his brain alternated rapidly between the two extremes.

I’ve never hesitated like this before! Is it because I have feelings for her now?

Yixing hesitated and wandered in little circles in front of the door for a few moments before he heard footsteps from inside and the door opened. He jumped as he found himself staring into Zhiruo’s wide eyes, and couldn’t help but let his eyes drink in the sight of the young female physician. While she was still dressed in her elaborate daytime dress, her hair fell unbound down her back in long ebony waves. Her cheeks were slightly wet from washing, a small towel dangling from her long fingers. Yixing felt his throat grow dry as he could barely resist the urge to pull her into his arms right then and there.

“Your Highness?” Yixing blinked as Zhiruo’s voice drew him from his thoughts, and he cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed as he realized he had been staring.

“Did you need something?” Zhiruo asked softly, “Would you like to come inside?” Yixing coughed softly and shook his head.

“No, I will stay right here.” He replied, “How did you know I was outside?” Zhiruo smiled faintly.

“I have long grown accustomed to Your Highness’s footsteps.” She replied, “I could hear you coming down the hallway and then stopping by the door. Is something wrong?” Yixing gazed at Zhiruo for a moment before shaking his head.

“I’m just a little tired.” He replied, “Today is your last day here as well, so I suppose wanted to see you one last time before you leave tomorrow morning. Why are you still awake?” A melancholic expression fluttered through Zhiruo’s eyes before she smiled sadly.

“Please wait a moment.” She said before disappearing back into her room. A few moments later, she returned with a rolled up piece of drawing paper in her hands.

“This is for you.” Zhiruo said as she handed the paper to him. Yixing moved to unroll the paper, only to pause as Zhiruo laid a hand on top of his.

“Not now.” She said, “I would like Your Highness to wait until your birthday. I know your birthday is in a month, but I will not be by your side when that time comes, so please treat this as your birthday gift.” Yixing stared at Zhiruo in surprise, his heart pounding in his chest.

Zhiruo thinks of everything.

Zhiruo curtseyed politely before moving to close the door.

“It is getting late, Your Highness.” She said, “It has been a long day, and you should retire soon to get some rest.” Yixing’s hand twitched by his side as a logic began screaming at the back of his head. This was possibly the last time they would have a quiet moment to themselves before Zhiruo left for the palace; if he didn’t confess to her now, he may never be able to do it again. Before Zhiruo could push the door shut, Yixing stepped forward and pressed a hand against the right doorframe, preventing Zhiruo from moving. She stared up at him in surprise, her eyes wide.

“Your Highness?” She asked, “What’s wrong?” Yixing took a deep breath to steel himself.

It’s now or never. Your enemy on this battlefield is your hesitancy, your uncertainty of what to do. Go forward and kill your enemy, Zhang Yixing!

In one fluid motion, Yixing reached out and pulled Zhiruo into his arms, his feet stopping just outside of the door. Zhiruo squeaked in surprise as his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

“Your Highness?” She whispered. Yixing could feel her heart pounding steadily in her chest, matching the rapidly increasing beat of his own.

“I’m afraid if I don’t say this now, I’ll never get the chance to do so.” He said, “Shangguan Zhiruo, I like you.”

___________________________________________________________________________

Zhiruo

Zhiruo’s eyes widened, her breath catching in as the prince’s words sunk in.

He likes me?

“Your Highness, w-what do you mean?” She stammered, her heart pounding in her chest.

Stupid! You know what he means!

Somehow, logic and common sense wasn’t working in Zhiruo’s head at the moment. The prince chuckled softly and pulled away. He took her hand and gently placed it over his chest. Zhiruo could feel the rapid beat of Prince Yixing’s heart pounding below her fingers, her cheeks growing warm as she took in the warmth of the prince’s touch around her wrist.

“There is an empty space in my heart that is no longer empty.” Prince Yixing replied, “It has been filled by a woman named Shangguan Zhiruo. Zhiruo, I have feelings for you.” Zhiruo swallowed hard, going dry.

“Your Highness, I…” Zhiruo’s voice trailed off, uncertain of what to say. A whirlwind of emotions swirled through her, confusing her heart and tying her tongue. Prince Yixing chuckled softly and gently cupped her cheek in his hand.

“I do not expect you to respond to me today.” He said, “And I will not force you to stay just because I said I like you. I simply wish for you to realize that I have feelings for you before you left.” Zhiruo could only stare at him silently, completely at a loss of what to say to the prince. She had never faced such a situation before; what was a woman supposed to say when a man confessed to her?

“Thank you, Your Highness.” She said softly after a moment’s thought. The prince raised an eyebrow.

“Lady Zhiruo, I know I said I didn’t expect a reply today, but is that truly all you are going to say?” He asked. Zhiruo’s brain raced to find a witty response, but all she could do was swallow hard and curtsey to the prince.

“Good night, Your Highness.” She blurted before closing the door behind her. She heard an amused laugh from behind the door.

“Good night, my lady.” Prince Yixing said, and soon his footsteps faded away. Zhiruo shrieked softly in embarrassment and clapped a hand over her burning hot cheeks.

“Shangguan Zhiruo you idiot!” She scolded, “What type of response was that?” For the first time ever, Zhiruo’s tongue had failed to find something proper to say, and instead she had defaulted to avoiding the love confession altogether. Zhiruo took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her racing heart. While the prince did not expect an answer immediately, it was only right for her to give one eventually. Zhiruo whined softly as she slid to the ground.

How do I feel about Prince Yixing? Oh, I just don’t know!!

____________________________________________________________________

The next morning

Zhiruo yawned as she watched the servants pack her things into one of the horse carriages. She had been so confused by Prince Yixing’s sudden confession that she had barely slept all night! Even after a whole night of tossing and turning however, Zhiruo still hadn’t come to an answer. For now though, the first course of action was to return to the palace and continue searching for answers.

Love should take second place in my priorities right now.

“Lady Shangguan.” Zhiruo’s heart began to pound again as she heard a familiar voice speak from behind her.

“Highness.” She greeted as she turned to curtsey to Prince Yixing. The prince reached out and lifted her to her feet, his fingers tapping lightly below Zhiruo’s wrist.

“From now on, you don’t have to greet me so formally anymore.” He ordered. Zhiruo’s eyes widened, but the prince raised a hand to hush her before she could protest.

“Treat it as my parting gift to you.” He said, “Thank you for all that you’ve done, Lady Shangguan.”

Parting gift…

The simple two words sounded so melancholic, so final that it felt like the prince was twisting his hand around Zhiruo’s heart.

“It was my honor, Your Highness.” She replied softly. As Zhiruo stepped back to board her carriage, she turned to look at the prince one more time. He looked particularly heroic standing in the morning sun, the golden rays glittering off him in majesty glory. Zhiruo closed her eyes briefly to commit the image to memory before speaking.

“Highness!” Zhiruo called, “I do not know when we will meet again, but when we do…” She bit her lip before plunging ahead on a whim.

“I will have an answer to your statement from yesterday!” She finished. Perhaps it was too rash of her to make such a statement; Zhiruo had spent the entire night thinking and failed to come up with an answer. Besides, she would have more than a few things to think of once she returned to the palace. But for some reason, at that moment, it seemed like the right thing to say. A small smile turned up the corner of Prince Yixing’s lips.

“I will be waiting!” He replied. Zhiruo slipped into the horse carriage and without a second look back, departed from Prince Yixing’s manor. Tears rose to her eyes unbidden as the prince’s manor grew smaller in the distance behind her. Zhiruo scrubbed at them futilely as her other hand clenched tightly in her lap.

Stupid, why are you crying?

Her body felt tense, and Zhiruo had half a mind to tell the carriage to stop right then and there. But as impulse warred with logic, Zhiruo knew which option she had to choose.

It is not like I won’t see him again. Focus Zhiruo, and keep your mind on the bigger task at hand.

Zhiruo took a deep breath and peeked out of the carriage window. Far down the street from where she had come, she could see the faint outlines of Fourth Prince Manor, and her heart clenched just thinking about the prince’s image outlined in the morning sun.

We will meet again, Prince of Lanling.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Author's note: Just as a side note, I don't intend to drag out their separation in terms of writing for too long (because what fun is them being separated?) A chapter at most of separation I think will be enough. I also don't intend to include too much of inner palace plotting, although (spoiler) Princess Rinchen will have some attempts at getting Zhiruo in trouble, and some plotting with Yiwei to get Yixing into trouble. After all, this story is focused on the Prince of Lanling and his princess as opposed to inner palace fighting and palace struggles. 

What did Zhiruo put in her painting? When will she realized her feelings? How will they finally reunite? Stay tuned to find out!