Zhiruo

Zhiruo’s heart pounded in her ears as she rushed to the crown princess’s chambers.

Please don’t let me be too late!

Loud sobs could be heard from inside the rooms as Zhiruo threw the doors open. The room was an utter mess, the product of a sudden and unexpected birth. Objects lay thrown all across the room, the tablecloth pulled off the tea table and the porcelain dishes shattered on the ground. Zhiruo hurried carefully around the fallen items to where a maid cradled an unmoving bundle. Princess Rinchen sat on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sat frozen in shock. Zhiruo carefully pulled back the corner of the blanket the maid held and looked carefully at the little baby. Unlike a usual newborn, the baby was completely silent, its eyes closed and cheeks turning blue.

“Give me the child.” Zhiruo ordered. The maid hesitated, her eyes wide with fright.

“Give it to me!” Zhiruo insisted as the maid didn’t move. As the maid hesitated again, Zhiruo pulled the baby swiftly from her arms and quickly unswaddled the still figure on the tea table. Thoughts raced through Zhiruo’s mind as she ran her fingers over the unmoving child. The baby was small, too small to be out of its mother’s womb yet. But, being small didn’t mean that it couldn’t survive. Zhiruo closed her eyes briefly and drew up a mental image of the anatomy of a baby from a book she had been reading just in case something like this happened.

Sudden and early births cause great distress to the unborn child, which may cause stillbirth or at least a lack of breathing when the child is born. In order to stimulate the lungs of a premature child who isn’t breathing…

Zhiruo quickly pulled her acupuncture needles out from her bag and picked the most narrow one out from the set.

I’ve never had to do this before. Baby veins and acupressure points are tiny, and…

Zhiruo swallowed hard and pressed down her hesitation.

Stop hesitating if you want to live, Shangguan Zhiruo!

Taking a deep breath, she raised her hand and inserted the first needle. All thoughts left her mind as she worked, save for her one goal to save the baby’s life. After a few long minutes, Zhiruo inserted the final needle and carefully pressed onto the baby’s chest.

Please…!

After what felt like an eternity, the baby’s mouth opened, and a soft hiccup could be heard in the silent room. The hiccup turned into a cry, which rapidly turned into a loud wail from the baby as its cheeks turned pink and it shrieked in protest at being exposed to the cold air. Zhiruo staggered slightly in relief, her hands trembling slightly as she carefully removed the needles from the baby. Princess Rinchen finally moved, her eyes widening as she turned to follow the sound of the cries.

“My child!” She cried, holding out her arms. Zhiruo carefully swaddled the baby again and handed the baby to a maid, who quickly deposited it into the princess’s waiting arms.

“Your child is alive now.” Zhiruo said flatly as she watched Princess Rinchen cuddle her baby in relief. The princess waved a hand dismissively at her, and Zhiruo gathered her things and left the room. She slumped in relief against the wall after she had walked a safe distance.

Thank goodness.

As Zhiruo straightened up and returned to her own chambers though, she couldn’t help but feel like her troubles with the crown princess were far from over.

____________________________________________________________________________

Later that day

Sure enough, later that day, Zhiruo found herself kneeling in front of the king, Crown Prince Yiwei, and Crown Princess Rinchen in the royal study. Princess Rinchen made a show of sobbing, her arms clasping tightly onto Prince Yiwei. If Zhiruo didn’t have a sinking feeling about why she had been summoned and pushed to her knees, she would have rolled her eyes at the overacting.

“The princess says that you are the one who gave her medicine to hasten labor.” The king said, “Is that true, Royal Physician Shangguan?” Zhiruo shook her head quickly.

“I would never dare to do such a thing.” She replied. The king turned and picked up a packet from his desk.

“Then, why was this medicine found in your chambers?” He asked. Zhiruo’s eyes widened as her gaze fell on the various herbs that were packed into the medicinal packet. Someone must have gone to her rooms while she had been busy in the physician department.

Princess Rinchen had been prepared to set me up since long ago! It seems like I underestimated the princess’s hatred for me.

Zhiruo swallowed hard, knowing that she had been backed into a corner with nowhere to escape. It was the princess’s word against hers, and in the balance of power with Princess Rinchen’s lineage backing her up, there was little chance that Zhiruo could persuade the king to believe her. If she persistently tried to defend herself, it would only anger the king further and make things worse. Plotting against the life of a royal was no small matter. At this point,there was only one path to take.

Retreat as a means of proceeding.

“Your Majesty,” She said carefully, “Your Majesty is an intelligent man, and surely knows my personality well enough by now to realize that I would never dare to harm a member of the royal family. As a physician and a subject of the royal family, that is something I would never risk doing.” Zhiruo bit her lip and then raised her gaze to look boldly at the king.

“However, I must admit that while I did not provide the princess with this medicine, I was aware that something was wrong. In hindsight, I admit I should have spoken up sooner.” Her hands clasped tightly in front of her.

“At the same time, Your Majesty, the baby prince is now alive and well due to my efforts.” Zhiruo continued, “While it cannot fully cleanse me of my wrongs, I can surely be allowed to live. And so, I have a proposal to make.” The king raised an eyebrow curiously, and Zhiruo quickly took the chance to plunge forward.

“Your subject desires to go out into the world and earn merit to cover my crime of omission.” She said.

“Shangguan Zhiruo, how dare you try to lessen your own crime!” Princess Rinchen shrieked, but Prince Yiwei pulled her back quickly and shushed her. A tiny amused smile turned up the corner of the king’s lips.

“Indeed, you are right in that you helped my newborn grandson survive.” He said, “Royal Physician Shangguan, how do you intend to earn merit to cover your wrongs?” Zhiruo smiled faintly. Ever since she had been summoned to the royal study, an idea had been forming in the back of her head. It would allow her to see Prince Yixing, and avoid the palace catfights for at least some time. If all went well, perhaps the benefits would be even greater than she imagined.

“Your subject would like to go to Pingyang to assist the Prince of Lanling with his task there.” She replied, “Your Majesty, if I am able to cure the dengue fever plague that is raging there, please wipe my slate clean and allow me to be declared innocent.”

“And why should I trust you have the ability to cure a plague that few would even dare to try treating?” The king pressed on. Zhiruo smiled again, knowing that it was time to lay on the superficial phrases.

“Because I am Your Majesty’s sole female physician.” She replied, “Your Majesty will only ever use the best of the best. Having been chosen by the grace of Your Majesty, I am certain that I have the ability to do what others cannot.” It was the perfect hidden praise to convince the king; although it was not overt praise, it still helped the king puff up his pride and turned the attention off herself.

“And if you fail to do as you say?” The king continued. Zhiruo bowed her head.

“If I return alive without successfully curing the plague,” She replied, “Then I will accept any punishment Your Majesty intends to give me, whether it be for giving the princess this medicine or otherwise. However, at this moment, I will not admit to a crime that I have not done.” It was an extremely bold move, one that few people dared to make. But Zhiruo knew that the bigger she made her promise, the more the king would be willing to let her try. The king knew about her skills, and valued bravery as well, and it wasn’t like her argument was devoid of any merit. There was little chance that the king would refuse her request, especially when the plague was a particularly troubling problem to him at the moment. And if the king approved it, then there was nothing Princess Rinchen could say that could stop him. The king gazed at her for a moment before laughing, the tension in the room beginning to dissipate with the simple sound.

“You are quite the bold, sharp tongued woman, Lady Shangguan.” The king said, “Very well, I will give you this chance. But it will be your only chance. Use it well.” Zhiruo rose to her feet and curtseyed politely.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

____________________________________________________________________________

“Lady Shangguan!” Zhiruo turned as she heard the crown prince call out to her, and curtseyed politely as he hurried up to her.

“Your Highness.” She greeted.

“Shangguan Zhiruo, do you know what you are doing?” Prince Yiwei demanded. Zhiruo smiled politely and nodded.

“Your subject is quite aware of what is about to happen.” She replied.

“Pingyang is not a place for a woman like you to be!” Prince Yiwei insisted, “I know Rinchen does not like you. There are other ways to prove you did not do it!” Zhiruo gazed at Prince Yiwei coldly.

“Your Highness, what other methods can you imagine?” She asked, “It is your wife’s word against mine. Even if you decided to say I didn't do it, no one would believe it at this point without any evidence. And besides, I am not worthy of such a thing.” Prince Yiwei shook his head and grabbed Zhiruo’s arm.

“You can become my woman instead of running to Zhang Yixing!” He said firmly, “I will surely favor you over Rinchen!” Zhiruo shook her head and quickly pulled free from the prince’s grasp.

“Your Highness, please watch your actions.” She said, “We are in the palace, and I am an unmarried woman.” Her gaze locked firmly with his as she continued.

“Your Highness, I do not intend to become your woman, not now, and not in the future either.” Zhiruo said firmly, “I think Your Highness’s attention will be better focused on your own wife and future wives that are not I.” Before the prince could protest, Zhiruo curtseyed and hurried down the steps away from him. Behind her, the crown prince’s hands curled into tight fists.

“Zhang Yixing!” He growled.

__________________________________________________________________________

One week later, Pingyang

Yixing sighed as he sank into his chair, exhausted from another day of fruitless strategizing. Ever since his army had arrived on the outskirts of the plague ridden city, they had been trying to find a way to go around it to fight the Northern Zhou army. So far however, all alternative routes would take too long, leaving him with the sole option of going through the city. That was beyond what Yixing dared to risk, however. While he himself was not afraid of dengue fever, he was not about to risk all his men’s lives by going through the city, and perhaps spreading the plague beyond the walls of Pingyang. His gaze slid over to his desk, and he walked over to pick up the rolled up painting from Zhiruo. He had brought it along on a whim, and suddenly he now wanted to look at it again. He unrolled the painting and examined it closely by the candlelight. No, the painting was no different from when he had first looked at it. Just imagining the way Zhiruo’s gentle hands had moved across the paper to draw however, was enough to soothe Yixing’s worries ever so slightly. Yixing frowned and peered closer at the umbrella the little boy was holding. In the flickering candlelight, the elaborate patterns drawn on the umbrella seemed even more complicated.

A little too complicated.

Yixing placed the painting down onto his desk and took another close look at the umbrella. The carefully painted lines of black ink swirled across his vision, and then...Yixing blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again.

Are those characters on the umbrella?

As Yixing stared at the painting, he mentally picked apart the distracting lines of ink across the umbrella, and then…

“I am.”

“I am?” Yixing read out loud as he finally picked out the words on the umbrella. Had Zhiruo done this intentionally, or was he just overthinking things? Yixing thought back on his time with Zhiruo, and shook his head. No, Zhiruo did everything for a good reason. What was she trying to say though? Yixing gazed across the painting again, his eyes carefully analyzing the other parts of the scenery drawn in front of him. If characters had been used on the umbrella, then...a grandfather playing with his grandchild would mean…

The characters for Grandfather…either “ye ye” or “wai gong.”

The characters for Grandchild… “Sun’er.”

The sentence written on the side...“Your Highness, I hope you will always remember to smile….”

It was such an odd phrase to put in a painting like this. A smile? What did smiles have to do with anything?

Smile…”xiao rong”

Yixing let the words move themselves around his mind for a few moments, then his eyes widened as the puzzle pieces suddenly seemed to fall together. If he put together parts of the words used to describe the objects in the painting then Zhiruo’s message was…

“I am Gongsun Rong.”

Yixing stared in disbelief as the reality of the situation finally hit him, a shocked laugh escaping his lips.

“Gongsun Rong...Shangguan Zhiruo...how did I never notice?” He mused while still laughing, “Why didn’t I ever think just a little deeper about your painting?”

Gongsun Rong’er...you’ve been in front of me this whole time!

A wild mixture of emotions flooded through Yixing’s chest. Shock, surprise, followed by anger, disappointment, and irritation.

“Foolish girl…” He muttered. He had already clearly given Zhiruo his trust, yet she had chosen such a convoluted way to reveal her identity to him. At the same time though, Yixing could understand why she had chosen not to tell him directly. No matter where he went, there were always prying ears just waiting for something to take him down. If someone heard about Zhiruo’s identity, then everything would be finished then. Still though, she was in for quite the scolding when he got to see her again.

“She couldn’t have chosen a way that was a little more obvious though?” Yixing mused with a soft laugh, “Zhiruo, I really don’t know what you’re thinking sometimes.” He rolled up the painting and held it to his chest as he laughed again in delight.

Gongsun Rong’er, I’ve finally found you!

__________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, Zhiruo

Zhiruo carefully led her horse up to the entrance to Prince Yixing’s military camp, an excited smile on her face. It had not been an easy journey; her escorts had become too frightened to continue when they were three days off from arriving, and Zhiruo hadn’t had the heart to make them continue. So, she had taken a horse and ridden the rest of the way there by herself. She was not the best rider, but she had somehow managed to make it here.

“Lady Shangguan?” A familiar voice spoke, and Zhiruo curtseyed politely as Prince Yifan approached.

“Your Highness.” She greeted.

“What are you doing here?” Prince Yifan asked, “Why are you here alone? Why aren’t you in the palace?” Zhiruo grinned.

“It is a long story, Your Highness.” She replied, as she handed him a letter from the king, “But I have come to help Prince Yixing deal with the plague in Pingyang.” Prince Yifan read over the letter, his gaze darkening as he shook his head.

“Silly girl.” He said, “You were being far too rash. Yixing asked everyone besides you precisely because he didn’t want you to come. It’s too dangerous around here.” Zhiruo smiled reassuringly.

“I came with that knowledge in mind.” She replied, “But I am not afraid. Can you tell me where Prince Yixing is? I would like to talk to him.”

“Of course.” Prince Yifan replied, “I’m sure he will be pleased to see you.” Zhiruo followed Prince Yifan to the back of the camp. Prince Yixing stood on a hill overlooking the city of Pingyang, his hands clasped behind him as he gazed below him at the city. Zhiruo quickly shushed Prince Yifan as he moved to call out to Prince Yixing, and carefully waved him away. As the prince left, Zhiruo took a moment to take in the image of the Prince of Lanling in front of her from her position near the bottom of the hill. He was wearing a robe of almost pure white, save for the slight silver designs that traced the seams of his clothing. His long hair was tied up into a simple ponytail, the small bronze hairpiece glimmering in the morning sun as his hair blew in the wind. At that moment, he was both princely and godlike at the same time, and just looking at him made Zhiruo’s heart race. The prince seemed so deep in thought that he had barely noticed her footsteps in the grass, however. Zhiruo took a deep breath before speaking.

“Your Highness.” She called, “It seems that you have many thoughts on your mind. May this subject be of assistance in soothing your heart’s worries?” Prince Yixing turned slowly from his position at the sound of her voice, his body freezing as he stared at her. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and then looked again, as if unsure of what he was seeing.

“Great, I’m hallucinating about Zhiruo now.” He grumbled. Zhiruo laughed softly.

“Your Highness, I am not a hallucination.” She replied. Prince Yixing laughed softly too.

“Of course, what hallucination will call themselves a hallucination?” He said. He gazed at her for another moment before continuing.

“Since you are a hallucination, then I suppose there is nothing wrong in telling you everything.” Prince Yixing mused. A longing gaze filled his eyes as he looked at her standing in front of him.

“Royal Physician Shangguan, my heart is troubled.” He stated, “I continually think of a certain young woman, and she just won’t leave my mind. It has been many months since I last saw her. I wonder, is she doing well right now? Is she being bullied in the palace? Is she eating and sleeping well? I want to know all these answers, but I cannot find them easily. The more I think about it, the more troubled I get. Tell me,  Royal Physician Shangguan, what is this illness that I have?” Zhiruo felt warmth fill her heart as she gazed at Prince Yixing.

“Your Highness, this illness is called lovesickness.” She replied, “You are stricken with this disease because you are deeply in love with this young woman. Tell me, Your Highness, who is this lucky young woman who had captured your heart?” Prince Yixing chuckled wistfully.

“The woman I love is a mysterious, gentle woman.” He replied, “She is very intelligent, and is very talented in the medicinal arts. When I first met her, I was unsure how to feel about her because she was keeping so many secrets from me. But over time, I fell in love with her everything. Now, I finally know what she has been keeping from me.” Zhiruo’s heart began to pound as she heard those words.

“Your Highness, now that you know, what do you think about this lady?” She queried nervously. Prince Yixing smiled warmly.

“I was a little angry at first.” He admitted, “I trusted her, but she couldn’t trust me enough to tell me directly who she was. But the more I think about it, the less I mind. In the end, she still chose to tell me, albeit in a very indirect way, and I am very grateful for that.” A soft look filled Prince Yixing’s eyes.

“I still love her.” He said, “I want to tell her, she doesn’t have to be afraid. What I love is not her past, or whatever name she uses in this world. What I love is the person she is, her bravery, her skills, and her talents. The way she smiles, and how she always know what I need. I love the way she makes my heart pound whenever I’m near her, the way just thinking about her can soothe all but my lovesickness.” A soft sigh escaped his lips.

“I love everything that she is.” He confessed, “And I will embrace all that comes along with loving her.” Zhiruo felt tears fill her eyes at his words, her heart overflowing with love for Prince Yixing and relief at his reaction.

He understood my painting! He doesn’t blame me!

“Your Highness.” Zhiruo said after taking a deep breath, “Your subject, I, am also in love with someone.” Prince Yixing raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? Who was fortunate enough to capture the heart of the most talented physician in the country?” He asked. Zhiruo smiled.

“The man I love is a prince.” She said, “He is a warrior, the strongest in the entire country. He is a beautiful man, so beautiful that he must hide his face when he goes into battle. He commands respect from even the king himself, and has earned countless applause from his people. He is a fearless and intelligent man. At the same time, there is a side to him that few people get to see. He is a warm, kind, and understanding man. He never forces his will on others, and always thinks about what is best for everyone else. Sometimes he is weak, but I do not mind, because that only means that he is human.” Her heart pounded in her chest as she met Prince Yixing’s gaze directly.

“I love neither the prince nor the warrior that other people see.” She said, “I only love the man in front of my eyes. I love the man named Zhang Yixing.” Prince Yixing’s eyes widened at her statement, a rush of emotion filling his eyes at her words.

“It’s strange,” He mused, “How can a hallucination make me feel this way?” Zhiruo laughed softly.

“Your Highness, I really am not a hallucination.” She protested. Prince Yixing chuckled and opened his arms wide.

“Come here.” He said simply, a small smile on his lips. Zhiruo laughed again, picked up her skirts, and ran up the hillside. In a few quick steps, she closed the distance between them, and leapt directly into Prince Yixing’s open arms. The prince’s warm arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace, safe and secure. His heart pounded against hers as they stood unmoving in that position for many long moments, his arms wrapped around her waist and his head buried against her shoulder. Then, Prince Yixing pulled away every so slightly to cup a hand to her cheek.

“You’re real…” He whispered softly. Zhiruo laughed.

“Your Highness, I was always telling you that I was real.” She teased softly. Prince Yixing’s gaze was filled with emotion as he brushed a thumb across her cheek for a moment.

“Am I dreaming?” He asked, still sounding quite shocked at her sudden appearance. Zhiruo laughed.

“No, Your Highness is quite awake.” She replied.

“Well, there is only one way to find out the truth about that.” Prince Yixing answered, a tiny smirk on his lips.

“How?” Zhiruo asked. Before she could fully realize what was happening, Prince Yixing tucked a finger below her chin and closed his lips over hers. Zhiruo’s eyes widened, her heart hammering at the sudden move. The prince’s kiss was slightly hesitant but gentle, as if afraid of hurting her with his kiss. Warmth bloomed in Zhiruo’s chest, and she closed her eyes as she returned the kiss. After a few long moments, Prince Yixing pulled away, his cheeks flushed slightly red.

“Shangguan Zhiruo, I love you.” He stated, “And I swear I will love you for the rest of my life.” Zhiruo smiled at his promise.

“I love you as well, Your Highness.” She replied softly. Prince Yixing chuckled.

“Call me Yixing.” He ordered. Before Zhiruo could respond, Prince Yixing closed his lips over hers again in a deep kiss, and Zhiruo was more than happy to oblige.

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Author's note: Two updates in one day? Yes it is! I was going to wait for a little bit, but I wanted to get my thoughts down while I had them, and I really really wanted to get to the mutual confessions that I've been thinking about for a long time. What does everyone think of this chapter?