19 years old, Jang Hyunseung

This was really weird.

It was really weird for Doojoon to attend his first day of school alone. He was never alone on first days of school since he was nine, all of his first days throughout primary school and middle school and high school were spent with Yoseob. There was always a tiny boy waiting for him at the school gate, hands fixing his tie, fingers combing through his messy hair, foot kicking his shin to wake him up and you deserve it ‘cos you are late and you make me wait in this -freezing weather.

But they enrolled to different university now, it was about time since they had been pursuing different interests and Doojoon always thought this was inevitable. Although they had worked around their schedules beforehand and established regular meeting days and phone call timings, there was an uncomfortable, almost greasy-like feeling churning inside Doojoon’s stomach. But then maybe it was because he was late, for his first orientation gathering, on his first day.

So he ran as fast as he could to the intended hall and why is this building so ing big and the hall so ing far, hoping that he was not late because he would hate having everyone in the hall staring at him, judging him, when he opened the door and everyone was already in their seats.

After leaving his luggage in his new dorm room (he would be roommates with Jang Hyunseung as the name plates said so and he hoped Jang Hyunseung would at least be not annoying), he spent almost an entire hour in the morning to wait for Yoseob in the university lawn, wondering why he had not seen him although it was almost time for orientation gathering. And then a message came in (“Doojoonah, don’t be late on your first day! Hwaiting! Call me later. Ppyong!”) and then the realization hit him. He was so used to having Yoseob on his first day that he forgot Yoseob was having his first day somewhere else. When he glanced at his watch, it shocked the out of him and he ran with lightning speed to the orientation hall.

Just as Doojoon had predicted, the enormous hall was almost full with new undergraduates. A man in his fifties, most probably the director of the university, was tidying his papers on the podium, ready to start the orientation welcome speech. Trying not to attract any attention to himself, Doojoon slid quietly to the far right side of the hall and found an empty seat.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” A guy seating next to the empty seat looked up to Doojoon.

Doojoon had never seen anyone prettier than him, and pretty was the absolute correct term to describe the young man looking up at him.

The young man only stared back at Doojoon with his big round eyes and after what seemed like forever to Doojoon, he finally answered, “Ah, are you talking to me?” He raised his eyebrows and pointed his forefinger at himself. Doojoon was utterly confused and raised his right eyebrow before nodding slowly.

The young man smiled earnestly at him, “Ah okay, do you wanna ask me or something?” Doojoon looked at the young man who was staring back at him sincerely and he just lost it. He laughed loudly, clutching onto his stomach, almost toppling forward. And the young man was still smiling earnestly at him, not understanding the sudden outburst, watching Doojoon dying with laughter. 

Doojoon’s attempt to sit quietly was completely ruined when his laughter echoed through the noisy hall. It was not loud, but enough for almost one third of the undergraduates to look at him, yet Doojoon could not care less. The smiling face in front of him was too comical and pretty and Doojoon could not hold his laughter any longer or he would burst into a million of laughing bubbles.

When the laughter attack had subsided and the crowd had gone back from scrutinizing Doojoon to their little chattering, Doojoon grinned at the young man and asked, “Is this seat taken?” The young man smiled, “Ah, so that was your question.” Again Doojoon relapsed to a laughing fit but the young man did not seem to mind as he continued, “I don’t think so, I’m alone. So I don’t think any of my friends from other universities will come and sit there.” He smiled at Doojoon, the kind of earnest smile that was too hilarious for Doojoon to understand. Doojoon had no idea how he actually stopped laughing and managed to introduce himself to Jang Hyunseung.

Doojoon had hoped that his roommate was not annoying. He did not need him to be nice and funny and sincere and polite and neat and clean and entertaining. He just needed him to be at least livable with. And preferably drug-free. And not smelly.

But he found out that he would be staying with Jang Hyunseung, maybe for another four years if Hyunseung and himself managed to get enough points to stay in the dorm and Doojoon was just really thrilled to have him.

For someone as easygoing as Doojoon, Hyunseung was interestingly meticulous. He kept his wardrobe tidy, everything was folded and stored properly, he even coupled his socks and folded them together – Doojoon scoffed, “who the folds their socks, Hyunseungah?” – as compared to Doojoon who threw his shirts and jeans and tees and underwear and socks into his wardrobe. Hyunseung’s face expression changed at the sight of it but Doojoon shrugged, “I’m gonna wear them later anyway. So what’s the fuss?”

But Doojoon liked him. Hyunseungie was cool. He was eccentric and out of this world, but that was why Doojoon found him really entertaining. To those who did not know Hyunseung, he looked really cold and distant, a being that could not be touched, but once he opened up – just like to Doojoon – Hyunseung was warm and loving and hilarious. Everything about Jang Hyunseung was funny to Doojoon, the way he talked, the way he stared, the way he stuttered, the way he lied, the way he tried to convince people that he was not lying, even they way he zoned out and jumped a little when Doojoon hit him on the shoulder.

Hyunseung lived in his own world and Doojoon hoped that Hyunseung would let him and Yoseob live there too. It would be ing awesome.

It was term break and Doojoon was extremely excited on that day. He finally got a break from school and soccer practice (he had signed his contract with FC Seoul and was officially part of the team, and Doojoon had to train ten times harder than usual) and would be meeting Yoseob.

He was up too early, showered too early, ate breakfast too early, got ready too early and ended up waiting for Yoseob two hours too early at the university lawn. But Doojoon did not mind at all, he had had a huge grin on his face since the week before when Yoseob told him that he would be coming (Hyunseung asked, “What’s wrong with your face? It creeps the out of me.”) to have a glance at the prestigious Korea University Doojoon was attending and get a signature from him before he got really famous.

Hyunseung approached Doojoon and sat next to him on the green grass, “Why can’t we go shopping today?” Doojoon rolled his eyes playfully at him, “I’ve told you a gazibazillion times, I’m meeting Yoseobie today.” Hyunseung stretched out and tried to reach his toes with his fingers, it was an amusing sight for Doojoon, “We can all go shopping together.” The older boy made a terrified face at the comment and Hyunseung asked, “What? It was fun shopping with me, wasn’t it?” Doojoon chuckled and patted the younger boy’s back, “I’m having best friend time with Yoseobie.”

And Hyunseung saw it.

He saw how Doojoon’s face lit up at the sound of Yoseob’s name. He saw the glint of happiness in Doojoon’s eyes every time he talked about Yoseob – and Yoseobie was Doojoon’s favorite topic, Hyunseung felt like he was best friend already with Yoseob – something more that adoration, something more than affection. Something deeper than being best friends. Somehow, Hyunseung wished that someone would have the same expression as Doojoon when that someone was talking about Hyunseung to someone else.

While Hyunseung was still lost in his thoughts, Doojoon stood up abruptly and waved frantically to a small figure, “Yoseobah!” The small figure ran happily towards them with a huge grin on his face, one hand holding onto his bright red cap which was sloppily worn backwards, afraid it would get swooped away by the wind while his other hand held onto the strap of his black backpack.

“Doojoonah!”

Yoseob waved back, his laughter rang clear and beautiful in the air and when he was near, Doojoon immediately enveloped him in a warm hug, “Doojo – Dooj – I – choke –“ Yoseob tried to speak in between gasps while hitting Doojoon’s back repeatedly with his fists, hoping the older boy would get the message to let him go from the too-tight hug and let him breathe.

Doojoon grinned and let go of Yoseob, totally oblivious to the gasping Yoseob (he slapped the older boy’s stomach while grasping his neck, coughing and trying to breathe). He slung an arm on Yoseob’s shoulder, guiding him to face Hyunseung and introducing them to one another. Both boys bowed slightly to each other with a formal greeting, but immediately getting friendly and comfortable around each other.

Hyunseung was silent as he observed the pair who was staring at each other and bickered well naturedly, “Wow, you – “

Yoseob rolled his eyes and waved a hand dismissively, “– I’m tiny. Yeah yeah, the whole world knows. I bet you heard that from stupid Doojoonie.”

Surprisingly Hyunseung shook his head slowly, “No.” He squinted his eyes as if in deep thoughts, “……you fit perfectly under Doojoon’s arms.”

Doojoon raised his eyebrow in amusement; Yoseob frowned in confusion while Hyunseung nodded in content at his comment. The silence was almost awkward until Doojoon clutched his stomach and doubled over in laughter. Yoseob was chortling, “Sorry, come again?” Hyunseung had his serious face on, not understanding what everyone was laughing at, “I said you fit perfectly under Doojoon’s arms. I think it’s nice.” He smiled in satisfaction and the two best friends could not even say anything back to him because they were too busy laughing.

Hyunseung finally met Yang Yoseob, Doojoon’s best friend in the whole wide world.

And it was not because Hyunseung was spoiled or because he was selfish or because he was envious, but he really really wanted to go shopping with Doojoon today, and Yoseob in this case since he was here too and he was cool. So when the two boys were about to leave, about to have best friend time, Hyunseung squatted down and hugged Doojoon’s leg. He hugged Doojoon’s leg and although he knew Doojoon was surprised, he did not let go.

Doojoon, on the other hand thought that this was another antic from Hyunseung and slapped his back, chuckling and asking him to get up but Hyunseung refused. He grabbed Doojoon’s leg and not letting go. Yoseob frowned, slightly getting the situation they were in and moved away slowly from Doojoon.

Doojoon chuckled, “Yah, Jang Hyunseung. Yah – “ He grabbed Hyunseung’s back collar and picked him to stand up just like a puppy. “Yah – “

“I wanna go shopping today.” Hyunseung pouted and gave his best puppy eyes to Doojoon. He knew they never worked on Doojoon, the older boy was immune, but it might work on Yoseob.

“Doojoonah, I think you should go shopping with Hyunseungie.”

Both Hyunseung and Doojoon turned their heads suddenly to look at Yoseob. “No, no,” Doojoon blurted, “Hyunseung was just – “

“We can go together right, Yoseobie?” Hyunseung peeked to Yoseob and grinned at him, the puppy eyes were more intense than before. When Yoseob was silent, he continued, “I’m bored…” The younger boy frowned in amusement as he smiled to Hyunseung, “Yeah, of course. Let’s go shopping together.”

Hyunseung let out a cheerful “yay” while Doojoon stared at Yoseob. He hated the smile on the younger’s face, it did not reach his eyes and Doojoon hated it. Doojoon loathed it, Yoseob was faking a smile for him, not for Hyunseung, but for him. , Doojoon hated it, he hated himself. He stared at Yoseob, staring at him laughing at Hyunseung.

Yoseob felt Doojoon’s stare and looked at him, confused at the older boy’s expression, he mouthed a “what?” widening his eyes playfully. Doojoon was silent, he kept staring as he shook his head slowly to Yoseob, don’t do things you don’t want to for other people. The younger boy frowned.

“Yah Yoon Doojoon, let’s get back to our room. I need to change.” Hyunseung dragged Doojoon away with him to the dorm building, grinning happily at Yoseob after the younger decided to let him join them. “Yah, Hyun – Yoseobah, we’ll be really fast okay. Just wait here,” Doojoon half shouted half screamed at Yoseob while he was dragged away, “wait here. Don’t move a muscle, okay?” Yoseob grinned and nodded, watching both boys jogged towards their dorm building.

Yoseob’s smile faded as his face fell, the happiness in his eyes disappeared and he sighed softly, looking at his feet. Yang Yoseob was not egoistic, he was not monopolizing, he was not possessive, he was not obsessive. He just wanted some best friend time with Doojoon after all this while. To know what he was doing, what he was up to, to tell Doojoon what Yoseob was doing, what he was up to.

Doojoon found soccer first before Yoseob found photography.

Now Doojoon found Jang Hyunseung first while Yoseob found no one.

It happened again and Yoseob wondered when Doojoon would finally leave him.