So there will be another chapter for 25 years old woott! The series is ending really soon and I’m so excited yayyy \O/

I am terribly sorry for not replying to any of the comments T.T, I know this pissed everyone off and I am so so sorry. Real life is killing me and ugh I have no time. I stayed at home today because I was not feeling well (ugh OTL) and this was how I managed to squeeze the chapter out today. I really am sorry for not replying to any of the comments, but you all know how I love comments <3 so comments are always always loved.

25 years old, Engagement

“I’m getting engaged.”

Yoseob looked up to Doojoon from his steaming bowl of Galbitang, trying to process the shocking and sudden news. He was in the middle of swallowing a spoonful of soup when his throat constricted and he choked immediately, spurting his soup out and coughing his lungs away.

They were having lunch in a small restaurant near Doojoon’s apartment where the older man’s picture and signature were hung proudly at the entrance. Most of the guys in the restaurant would approach the soccer star and complimented him for the awesome match last week, whereas the girls will ask for a few autographs and some pictures (Yoseob did not realize what a star Doojoon had been, seriously). Well, it did not hurt to be exceedingly popular and good looking when the owner kept giving them extra servings.

 Panicked by the sudden reaction, Doojoon quickly grabbed a few napkins on the table to clean Yoseob up, “Are you okay?” Yoseob was still in a fit of coughs when he nodded nonetheless.

Yoseob nodded but he was not okay, he was far from okay. He studied the older man’s face for a while and saw sincere concern in his eyes, there were almost flashes of sadness and regret in his eyes, but Yoseob dared not hope. There was nothing to hope for since the beginning.

“Gayoonie?”

Doojoon stared back at the pair of black orbs encased in endearingly-wide eyes and nodded slightly. Yoseob snatched away the napkins from Doojoon’s hands and continued cleaning up the mess himself. With a schooled expression, he stared to Doojoon and smiled, “When is the big day?”

“Next month.It was just a simple occasion with family, friends, and media. Nothing fancy, nothing too extravagant. You are the first one who knows, I have told no one about this yet because you deserve to be the first to know.” He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to ease his nervousness under the piercing gaze of Yoseob’s eyes.

It’d be best if I do not know, Yoseob thought sadly but the smile did not leave his face. If this made Doojoon happy, he would do anything to make his best friend even happier. His heart was just a small price to pay for Doojoon’s happiness, and he wanted only the best for Doojoon.

“Wow, congratulations Doojoonah. I am so happy for you, I wish for all happiness on this world for the both of you.” 

Again, Doojoon noticed that Yoseob’s smile did not reach his eyes and he ing hated that. The younger man’s smiles used to be so sincere, so open, so warm and languid, but these past few years there were often times that the smiles did not reach the eyes, they lacked luster and sincerity, they were as bright but never as warm.

“You don’t mean it. You are not happy for me.” Doojoon frowned, tone accusing.

Yoseob’s face did not change, the smile stayed plastered on his face, “Of course I’m happy for you. What are you talking about?” he scoffed and made a dismissing gesture with his hand.

“Well I’m not.”

“What?”

Doojoon took a deep breath and sighed audibly, he slumped a little on his chair, “I’m… confused. She was the one who proposed to me during formal dinner, in front of her whole family.” Doojoon sighed again, “I just… couldn’t, y’know, couldn’t say no. It will crush her heart and the last thing I wanted was to humiliate her in front of everybody.”

Yoseob stared at a somehow defeated Doojoon, his bowl of Galbitang forgotten on the table, “But you said yes. And you cannot back down from this. You are a man of your words.”

Doojoon stared back into Yoseob’s eyes, “Tell me not to, Yoseobah. Tell me not to and I will break it off with her.” Shaking his head, the photographer scoffed lightly and smiled sadly, “No. I am not telling you anything. You are to decide for yourself. And this is the decision you have made, so you are going to bear the responsibilities.”

There was silence after that. Steaming bowls turned cold, food forgotten on the table. None of them said anything, none of them argued, none of them moved.

But Yoseob could hear oh-so-clearly when his heart broke.

In the darkness of his apartment, Yoseob stared blankly at the official and extremely confidential big white envelope on his lap. His name and address were clearly stated on the front part of the envelope, duly stamped by a highly important institution. The enveloped was already torn open, Yoseob had looked through the contents ten days ago and chucked them aside.  

But with the sudden news of Doojoon’s engagement to Gayoon, the envelope was back on Yoseob’s lap. He might need to accept the scholarship and moved away to Paris the next month. Now, the idea of being away from Doojoon did not feel so frightening anymore, did not seem so depressing anymore, instead it somehow felt like a good idea.

Yoseob was recommended as a scholarship recipient by one of the higher ups in Korea Tourism Board Organization. The young photographer had been actively contributing to the organization when his talent and dedication had caught the attention of a certain board member. Without his knowing, Mr. Kim had recommended Yoseob for the scholarship and the applied institution seemed to agree with the older man’s choice, offering the young photographer a full scholarship of three years – ten days ago – in the form of an important looking white envelope.

It was an opportunity of a lifetime – a chance that most photographers could ever only hope for – was presented in front of him, served on a silver platter for his taking just with a mere reply of confirmation. Ten days ago, he was not even thinking of confirming anything at all, he would let others have this opportunity but now he was not sure anymore. He needed a distraction, he needed to get away, he needed to run away.

He needed someone to talk to and he dialed Junhyung’s number.

“Yoseobah, what’s up?” Straightforward, just how Junhyung always was.

Yoseob smiled when he heard Junhyung’s voice, there was a shuffle on the other side, “Are you busy right now? Is it a good time to talk?”

Junhyung scoffed, “When is a bad time for you? You won’t hang up the call anyways. So what’s up?”

Yoseobhesitated for a while, but decided to let everything known to Junhyung. The news would travel to him anyways, sooner or later. “Doojoon is getting engaged.”

There was silence on the other side before a reply came, “When?”

Yoseob continued, “Next month.”

“Okay. So?”

 “So I’m thinking of getting the scholarship.”

“To get away from Doojoon?” Concise and precise, two characters which created the excellent business man in him, as expected from Yong Junhyung.

Yoseob inhaled a ton of air before releasing a loud sigh, “I guess so. I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Then you don’t deserve the scholarship.” Junhyung’s answer shocked Yoseob, “Someone out there is more worthy of the scholarship than you are, Yoseobah, if the only reason you have is to run away from Doojoon. That was just cowardly and dishonest. If you are getting the scholarship, then want it, do not use it as an excuse for your sorry .”

Yoseob was silent as Junhyung continued, “When you go to Paris, go with your whole heart, pour everything into your study, go beyond being a world-class photographer, and do not look back. Do not go with a shattered heart and tattered soul, there was nothing for you in Paris when you go in that state. You are not picking up the pieces in Paris, you are picking up the pieces here and bringing everything there for a new beginning. Choose wisely, Yoseobah. Think about it.”

“Yes, it was foolish of me.” Yoseob chuckled sadly, “Such a weak heart. Thanks, Junhyungah. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We’ll continue tomorrow. I’m not coming today, I don’t feel well.”

“Promise me to just think about it, okay? You are not alone, I have told you before that you will always have me.” Junhyung’s voice was filled with worry and concern.

Yoseob chuckled genuinely this time, “Who will Hyunseung have then if I have you?”

There was a light laugh over the other side, “You are not asking me that question. I need to go, Hyunseung is here. I talk to you tomorrow, please just think about it.”

Yoseob let out a soft snort, but his voice was sincere, “Stop nagging, I’ll think about it. Have fun with Hyunseung.”

With that, Yoseob was back alone, wrapped in the darkness of his apartment. He stared down at the big white envelope on his lap and started to slowly recall every single word Junhyung had told him, asking him repeatedly to think about.

Junhyung was right. He did not deserve the scholarship if all he had to offer was a broken heart as the main reason, he needed to truly want it, and not waste this opportunity away. There are thousands of others who did not even dare to dream of this chance and he would not this up just because of his selfish cowardly self.

Junhyung was right. He was a coward, lurking from behind, obsessing from afar. He hated how he was so frightened, how he was so scared to lose a best friend, to lose Doojoon. He had no guts to take a chance with Doojoon, because if he did, he would lose Doojoon forever. At least now, they are best friends. And this should be enough for Yoseob, but sadly it would never be enough. His feelings grew stronger and he hated himself. He hated how sometimes he blamed Doojoon for it, because Doojoon was so nice, because Doojoon was so caring, because Doojoon had mixed signals.

Junhyung was right. He should give himself an opportunity, took a break from all of this madness, he needed to get out before everything spiraled out of control. He should cool his head and his heart, distancing himself and focus all of himself to his study. This would be best for everyone.

Junhyung was right, he was always right. And Yoseob was glad.

He picked himself off the sofa and the lights, bright lights washing the once dark apartment. He took the contents out from the envelope and started reading the offer thoroughly. He grabbed a pen and placed it on top of the confirmation form.

A current pop song filled the silent apartment when Yoseob’s phone went off, a goofy-smiling face appeared on the screen and “Yoon Dooball” flashed incessantly. Yoseob picked up the phone absentmindedly out of habit, his eyes still focused on reading the offer.  

“Doojoonah… nothing I’m just watching TV… I don’t feel really well so I’m not going to his place today… no, please you don’t need to come over, I’m not a child… Have you eaten?... yeah I had some kimchi jigae… Doojoonah, I need to concentrate on the movie, so I talk to you tomorrow?... okay you have fun with Gayoonie… no I don’t need you to buy me anything, I’m fine… okay bye… yes, okay bye.”

Yoseob hung up the call and started to highlight any interesting or unclear parts that he needed to sort out with his university professor. Tapping his pen on the table, a sense of tranquility descended upon him as he delved deeper into the offer. Halfway reading, Yoseob had made up his mind to take the scholarship and made the most out of it. He would need to submit the confirmation letter in a week and moved to Paris by next month. There were lots he had to take care of before he moved out, and a month would be more than enough to settle on everything.

He needed to break the news to his parents and Junhyung. Yoseob knew they were always supportive on whatever he had decided on, so it was fairly easy – his mom would no doubt be all over him in worry, if he would be eating enough, it he would be lonely in a foreign country, if he had someone to take care of him if he was sick – but nonetheless, they would always support him in any decision he had made.

However, Doojoon was a completely different story. He would wait to tell Doojoon about this, he would wait until everything was settled. After everything was confirmed, he would then break the news to him. Yoseob would never want to complicate things between them and he wanted to avoid it the best he could. 

In a silent apartment, Yoseob started filling in his confirmation letter and had planned to see his professor to discuss further about the scholarship offer tomorrow.