I’m sorry this is sooo short >.< and I hate the ending of this chapter but I just could not push through it anymore OTL  I didn’t even re-read this chapter again T.T so please pardon me with all the  I’ll write better next chapter!

24 years old, Valentine’s Day

Doojoon swiped his card on the electronic password device outside of Yoseob’s apartment before entering the 6 digit codes – which was Doojoon’s birthday, 471989 – to the device. The light turned from red to green and a soft was heard from the door, signaling it was unlocked.

At 23, Doojoon owned his first apartment – Yoseob came for the housewarming and learned about the existence of an adorable and witty Heo Gayoon – and early this year, Yoseob had got his own place so it was easier for him to keep all of his pictures and develop them himself. The younger man had also given Doojoon a spare card immediately after purchasing his apartment and set his password as the soccer star’s birthday – exactly just like what Doojoon had done when he got his own place almost a year ago, setting his password as Yoseob’s birthday so that the photographer would never forget the code every time he wanted to visit.

Both of them did not stay in their own university dorms anymore and it was much more convenient for them to meet without all the hassle of curfews and night attendances. It was also much more convenient for Junhyung to drop by anytime to see the photographer and he was a familiar sight in Yoseob’s apartment. Doojoon did not want to sound possessive or jealous or anything – because he wasn’t – but he  did wonder if Yoseob and Junhyung were involved romantically, or at least something deeper than their business – slash – friendship relationship.

However, when Doojoon entered the kitchen with bags full of groceries hanging from each of his hands, he was not prepared for a barely covered Junhyung in the kitchen. He was fresh from the shower, hair still wet, with only a towel wrapped around his waist and another small towel slung around his neck. He was packing himself some gimbap into a container when he realized Doojoon had come to the kitchen.

The surprise on Doojoon’s face was beyond obvious, but it was either Junhyung was intentionally not reacting to it or the younger man did not even recognized the expression at all, as he calmly looked over to Doojoon and went back to packing gimbap, “Hey man, good morning.”

Doojoon did not like this… this whole thing, whatever anyone wanted to call it. He did not like Junhyung packing gimbap into one of Yoseob’s containers early in the morning with barely any clothing on him. This should not happen at all and Doojoon’s suspicion of their relationship grew multifold.  

“Hey, good morning,” Doojoon mumbled out half-heartedly, “Yoseob?”

“Oh, he just woke up, wait let me… YOSEOBAH!”

“I TOLD YOU I’M COMING, GIMME A SECOND!” Yoseob shouted back, irritated by the loud shout, especially so early in the morning, as he sprinted from the bedroom to the kitchen. “Hi Doojoonah,” Yoseob smiled at the older man, not even surprised that he was in the kitchen – Doojoon had visited and stayed at Yoseob’s apartment more than enough for the younger man to feel surprised anymore by his sudden appearance. Well, Doojoon did own a spare card to Yoseob’s apartment, his card.

Yoseob continued to shuffle his way into the kitchen and pushed Junhyung away from the counter, “I’ll pack for you. Go get ready.” Junhyung mumbled his gratitude and dashed to the spare bedroom that, in Doojoon’s opinion was unofficially his room, and slammed the door close.

Doojoon’s eyes narrowed, he folded his hand on his chest in annoyance as he asked, “Why is Junhyung here so early in the morning?”

“Hmmm? Oh, he spent the night here.” Yoseob answered casually without looking at Doojoon, now busy packing some kimchi jigae into a container for Junhyung.

“Why? He has his own apartment, doesn’t he?”

“Uh-huh,” Yoseob nodded, “but he had a late meeting last night and is meeting a client now. Both meetings are near here, so it’ll be really convenient if he stays here for a night.”

Doojoon raised his eyebrows, “And why are you packing him lunch? With your containers?”

Yoseob, for once, looked up and grinned at the older man, “Because my mom sent me all of these and Junhyung hasn’t had home cooked meals in forever. Come on, you had your share already when I packed these for you two days ago.” And he went back to scooping more rice into a container for Junhyung.

Doojoon sighed and massaged his temples, “Fine, just –“

“JUNHYUNGAH! ARE YOU READY? YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE!” Doojoon’s words were cut off by Yoseob’s loud shout and immediately the door of the spare bedroom – really, it was Doojoon’s unofficial room – slammed open and a formally dressed Junhyung shuffled out to the kitchen.

“Yeah, I’m good, just…” Junhyung did not even finish his words when he took the nicely packed lunch bag and pecked Yoseob on the cheek. He murmured a quick ‘thanks’ and ‘bye, Doojoonah’ before heading out the door.

After all the commotion was over, the apartment was suddenly quiet. All too quiet for Yoseob’s liking as he slowly glanced over to a fuming Doojoon. He opened his mouth but all that came out was a mere whisper, “You okay?”

“Did he just kiss you?” Doojoon hissed.

“It was just an innocent peck on the cheek…”

“How could it be nothing, he ing kissed you. Are you two –“

“You kissed me on the lips before and are we more than best friends now? No. So just calm the down. Sheesh, what is wrong with you?” Yoseob rolled his eyes and folded his hands on his chest being defensive.

Doojoon flinched at Yoseob’s words, guilt eating at his conscience for what he had done years ago and his stupid unforgivable reaction after he did it. He paused for a while, words constricting in his throat. After the kiss they had two years ago, some things changed within him, things that Doojoon decided not to dwell on, things that were uncomfortably perplexing. He lowered his gaze, “I’m sorry. I just… I’m sorry.”

Yoseob sighed, visibly relaxing after Doojoon had apologized, “It’s okay.” He shrugged casually.

“I just want you to know that I have never regretted the kiss. I need you to understand that.” There was seriousness in Doojoon’s voice, a hint of obsession that made the younger man smile, a smile so bright that it blinded Doojoon, “I know.”

Doojoon grinned back as the earlier tension had all melted, replaced by a cheerfulness and warmth that was Yang Yoseob.

“Why are you here so early in the morning, Doojoonah? Have you had breakfast? Do you want some gimbap?”

The older man looked at Yoseob like he had five heads.

“What?” Yoseob retorted back, obviously offended by the look Doojoon was giving him.

Doojoon rolled his eyes in amusement and said, “It’s Valentine’s Day today, Yoseobah. 14February!”

“So?” Yoseob deadpanned.

“So I’m gonna be your date.” The grin on Doojoon’s face was colossally stupid and Yoseob felt somewhat bad towards his best friend, maybe all of the head butts Doojoon had been doing during his soccer matches and trainings were finally damaging his brain.

Yoseob frowned and flashed a sympathetic smile, “Doojoonah, are you okay? You are scaring me. Do you want to sit for a while? Is your head hurting right now?” Yoseob cupped Doojoon’s face in his palms and forced the older man to stare at him. He still remembered clearly when Doojoon visited after one particular rigorous training session, pale and wobbly, stubbornly saying that he was fine until he curled up on the sofa, clutching his head, helpless to stand on his own due to the sudden nausea and head-splitting headache. Turned out Doojoon was having minor concussion and Yoseob forced him to stay two nights in the hospital just to be safe.

Doojoon chuckled at the display of amusing affection and sympathy. He covered both of Yoseob’s hands that were still cupping his face with his own, “I’m fine, really. Today’s Valentine’s Day and we are having a date. And you work too much recently…and travel too much. It’s good to be home, eh?”

Yoseob scoffed, releasing his hands from Doojoon’s grip and made his way to the kitchen, completely ignoring Doojoon, “Why aren’t you having a date with Miss Witty? Are you two having a fight?”

After Doojoon was officially in a relationship with Gayoon for almost a year now, Yoseob realized she was always too keen on these kinds of… stuff. Birthdays, 1 month anniversary, 2 months anniversary, all kinds of anniversaries, dinners, surprise lunches, picnic baskets, and the list went on. So Yoseob did not understand how she could possibly miss Valentine’s Day.

Doojoon shifted uncomfortably, tailing Yoseob to the kitchen, “She’s in Japan for two weeks.”

“So I’m a convenient replacement for Valentine’s day date. Nice.” Yoseob did not mean to sound angry, did not mean to sound harsh, did not mean to sound accusing. But he just did sound all of those and yet he could care less, if Doojoon thought he was just an easy substitute to spend his Valentine’s day with, then the older man had no right to be his friend anymore.

Doojoon stopped in his track and frowned in disapproval, voice dangerously low, “You are not a replacement or a substitute. You never are and never will. You are my best friend. How many times should I say that?”

Noticing the hint of anger in Doojoon’s voice, Yoseob turned around and smiled, “I know, it’s just that… lovers date, Doojoonah. Best friends hang out.”

“Then should we be lovers, Yoseobah?”

Yoseob raised an eyebrow at the question. It was the second time Doojoon had asked this – the first time was during their fight two years ago. There was seriousness in Doojoon’s tone and face, but Yoseob knew deep down it was rhetorical, a question with no answer needed, something to be laughed at. And Yoseob winced as sadness stabbed his chest.

He shrugged it away, “Third time’s a charm. I might seriously consider the offer when you say it the third time.” Doojoon grinned, “Better luck next time then.”

Yoseob scoffed at the older man and resumed walking to the kitchen and only then he realized that there were bags of groceries on the floor, “Yah, what are these?”

There was obvious excitement in Doojoon’s voice when he said, “I’m going to cook for you,” and he clapped his hands together animatedly, “because I have soccer practice at 11 and I can only spend breakfast time with you.” Yoseob nodded dumbfounded, as the older man ushered him to the nearest sofa, “Now you just relax and wait here while I do my magic in your kitchen.” With that, Doojoon ran to the kitchen and started preparing breakfast for Yoseob.

This was so much better, Yoseob thought. Being best friends was so much better. He hated it when Doojoon asked them to be lovers, only knowing that the older man did not even mean it. He hated it when Doojoon got protective, only knowing that because Yoseob was his best friend. He hated it when Doojoon was so gentle and caring, just because they had known each other since they were eight.  He hated all the confusing signals from Doojoon, just because Yoseob was the closest he had as a brother. It hurt too much and Yoseob decided he needed to draw a line, a line that best friends could not cross, a limit that his heart could not go over, a clear line that Yoseob could follow.

Yoseob hated himself more when he found himself walking to the kitchen and wrapped his hands around Doojoon’s stomach, resting his cheek on Doojoon’s broad back.

Yosseob loathed himself.

Doojoon chuckled when he felt a slight weight on his back and a pair of hands wrapping around his middle. Yoseob was too thin, he mused, thank God he bought so much extra ingredients that Yoseob could eat more. The older man did not even flinch at the sudden intrusion, busy making sure that the leeks were cut at 5 cm apart like his mom had told him, yet he did not fail to notice the quiet shuffles when Yoseob hugged him from behind.

After a long silence, Yoseob finally spoke the first words, burying his face onto Doojoon’s back and inhaling his scent, “Can we stay like this just a little longer?”

Doojoon smiled, “Yes. As long as you want.”

There was a soft whisper, so soft that Doojoon could have missed it, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Doojoonah.” The hold around Doojoon’s middle tightened as Yoseob scooted closer.

Yoseob smiled sadly, this was the first and absolutely the last Valentine’s Day they would be spending together, not even a day but just mere hours of it. If this was the best he could get from Doojoon, then he would embrace it and keep it forever in his memories, locking it so tightly that no one could ever take it away from him, burying it so deep so that it would never surface to bother Yoseob anymore.

It’d be a memory that Yoseob would always remember but feel nothing for.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Yang Yoseob.”