“I guess you don’t know what you got till it’s gone”

Jennie is inside Jisoo’s room waiting for the older girl who is getting ready for Irene’s party an hour later.

“Unnie, are you excited for Irene unnie’s party?” Jennie asked enthusiastically looking at the older girl after an endless scrolling through Irene’s Instagram account sitting on Jisoo’s bed.

Jisoo looked at the younger girl through the mirror after giving herself a satisfied look about her outfit “Hmm, I can’t say that I’m really that excited. I am happy that she’s back but just that. I mean, I wasn’t really that super close with her compared to Seulgi-unnie.”

“I can’t believe that I’m seeing her again after such a long time!” Jennie squealed.

“Well, I can really see that you’re super excited huh.” Jisoo smirked “Tell me Jendeuk, are you still into her?”

“Well, I still feel giddy thinking about her. And unnie, she’s my ultimate crush so how can I not be into her.” Jennie answered dreamily.

“You should tell her how you feel then.” Jisoo said making Jennie stopped her daydreaming.

“I-I don’t know. Should I?” Jennie said facing her head down.

Jisoo turned around and faced the younger girl “What’s stopping you? I thought you like her.”

Jennie shot her head up looking at the older girl “I mean yeah but do you think I should tell her? Do you think my feeling’s strong enough for me to tell her how I feel?”

Jisoo turned to face the mirror again and put on some light makeup “You know that you’re the only one who can answer that right?”

“I know but I also need some advice you know.” Jennie said rolling her eyes to the older girl.

“Well of course, you need advice.” Jisoo chuckled “You know what my advice is? You should follow what your heart says. Simple yet meaningful.” She added with a smirk.

“Yah unnie, I’m serious here!” Jennie whined throwing a pillow hitting the back of the older girl.

“And I’m serious too Jennie.” Jisoo picked up the pillow on the floor which was thrown at her and placed it back on the bed. “Can you not throw my pillows? I just got it dry-cleaned and I don’t want to dry clean it again just because it was itchy to use since someone who’s whining over a girl were throwing it here and there.” Jisoo scolded the younger girl which only earned a chuckle from the latter. “Anyways, as I was saying, you should follow what your heart tells you, Jen. I don’t want you blaming me for a possible heartache just because I pushed you to go for it even though you’re not ready.” She added.

“I think you’re right. I should follow what my heart says.” Jennie sighed “Do you think she feels the same way though?”

“That I don’t know. The only way to find out is...” Jisoo didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence when the younger girl cut her off.

“To tell her how I feel, I know. I just don’t know how to.” Jennie sighed again for the umpteenth time. “I just can’t tell her in the middle of the party saying ‘Hey unnie, I like you. Do you like me too?’ cause that's just not ideal.” She added.

“Who told you to tell her during the party? You can tell her after the party or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or maybe next year.” Jisoo said sarcastically.

“Yah unnie, you’re not helping.” The younger girl whined again.

“I’m just saying that you can tell her whenever you’re ready.” Jisoo said.

“I really don’t know unnie. I really don’t know.”

As Jennie and Jisoo were talking inside the latter’s room, someone knocked outside the girls’ dorm.

“I’ll get it!” Lisa shouted as she was just near the door since she was already done fixing herself and just playing with their pets while waiting for the other members to finish.

“Oh hey Sana-unnie, it’s you! Come in, come in.” Lisa opened the door wide giving their visitor a space to pass through. “You can sit on the sofa while I’m calling Chaeng.” Lisa said not giving the older girl the chance to talk since she left immediately to go to Rosé’s room.

From Jisoo’s room, the two unnies heard their maknae calling Rosé announcing that her girlfriend already arrived. Jisoo and Jennie then walked outside the older girl’s room and went to the living to acknowledge Sana’s arrival.

“Sana, you’re here.” Jisoo said as soon as she saw their visitor with Jennie tailing behind her.

Sana immediately stood up and bowed at the two girls “Ah yes Jisoo-unnie and Jennie. I came to pick up Rosé for Irene-unnie’s party.” She added earning a confuse look from the two girls.

“I see but why? I mean, the three of us are going there too. No offense, but you don’t have to pick her up.” Jisoo stated being the protective unnie as she is to Rosé and the two girls.

“No offense taken.” Sana smiled “Rosé said that she wants us to go there together.” She added.

“Oh” Jennie uttered

Jisoo would’ve said something more but Rosé already arrived interrupting their conversation.Chaeyoung wore a beautiful black leather dress and as hard as Jennie tried, she couldn’t stop staring at the younger girl.

“Sana, you’re here already! I mean it’s still early.” Rosé excitedly said giving her girlfriend a peck on the lips before hugging her making a certain cat-eyed girl to look away.

“Hey Chaeng, you look gorgeous. I’m so excited to see you.” Sana said “And besides, I’m taking you somewhere before going to the party.” She added making Rosé squealed excitedly.

“Really? Where could that be?” Rosé asked enthusiastically making her girlfriend chuckled.

“It’s a secret.” Sana winked making her girlfriend blush.

Meanwhile Lisa who was clinging at Jisoo also squealed and whispered to Jisoo “They are so cute.”

All Jisoo however said was “Don’t be late for the party.”

Throughout the couple’s interaction, one girl remained quiet as she witnessed how sweet the couple was. Jennie excused herself from the group and went inside her room quietly which was noticed by Jisoo and Lisa.

Inside her room, Jennie was texting Irene telling the older girl that they’re about to leave their dorm and keeps telling her how excited she is to see her. But her excitement died down as soon as she heard Sana telling Jisoo and Lisa that she and her girlfriend have to leave since they still have a last minute date to go to.

Jennie sighed putting her phone down on the table beside her bed and tried fixing herself once again.

“Should I really tell Irene about how I feel?” she said to herself while giving herself a one last look before leaving her room.

***

“Girls, you’re here!” Irene greeted Blackpink as soon as they arrived and entered the older girl’s newly-owned huge private house. “Jennie-yah, I was so excited to see you!” the older girl immediately hugged the younger girl with excitement as soon as she saw her.

“Unnie, I missed you so much!” Jennie hugged the older girl tighter before letting go giving the latter girl her infamous gummy smile.

“We have so much to talk about.” Irene said excitedly making Jennie’s eyes lit up.

“I have something to tell you too, unnie.”

“Really? Well, we have a lot of time to talk after the party.” Irene smiled “Anyways, promise me that you’ll still be here when I make my announcement okay?” she added making Jennie smiled.

“Of course, unnie”

“Great! Now get inside and enjoy the party. Food is there on the right side and the drinks are on the opposite side.” Irene said showing the younger girl the set up of the entire place. “By the way Jennie, I know you’re already friends with some of them but you still need to interact, okay? Be sociable.” She winked before going back to the main door to welcome more coming guests.

Jennie smiled walking her way towards the crowd searching for her friends. Variety of music blared through the whole place from the loudspeakers; the clattering of glasses and other dinning utensils; the hi’s and hello's of friends and acquaintances; and the people cheering and dancing on the dancefloor can be witnessed inside Irene's grand living room.

"Jennie, I missed you!" Nayeon hugged her slim figure as soon as she reached her friends' table.

"Unnie, I missed you too!" she smiled hugging back the older girl.

Both girls released the hug and Jennie turned to face Wendy and the other TWICE's members and smiled at them.

Jennie roamed her eyes around the entire place. She saw three of the maknae line (Lisa, Yeri and Son Chaeyoung) and Momo playing or rather competing at the dance revo as to who will get the highest point with Joy, Tzuyu and Dahyun watching them at the far right corner of the room and laughing at their silliness ; Jisoo, who was with Seulgi, are talking about a game they just recently played and are sitting at the table next to them. She almost finds everyone aside from one person.

"Maybe they got caught up with their date and forgot to come here." Jennie said to herself.

Jennie was conversing with Wendy about the latter girl's collaboration with Eric Nam when Nayeon suddenly yelled, "Ahh Sana! Rosé! It's about time for both of you to show up. We thought you already ditch Irene-unnie's party because you were enjoying too much of your date." Nayeon said as she hugged the new comers making Jennie to immediately transfer her gaze from Wendy to the couple.

"That wouldn't happen, Nayeon-unnie. We can't miss Irene-unnie's amazing party." Sana said holding Rosé's right hand.

"These two can't ditch my party or their asses will receive a spanking." Irene threatenedearning a laugh from the new comers and the rest.

"Yah! Unnie, you can't do that." Rosé whined making her girlfriend laugh.

Irene then put her arms around the couple's shoulders "Anyways, you girls owe me a story." the older girl winked at them.

"One thing is for sure though unnie," Nayeon butted in "I introduced these two and just like what I expected, they clicked." she proudly added.

The couple just smiled and proceeded to greet the rest of their friends.

“These two are so adorable.” Momo said out loud

“Not as adorable as me and Jisoo Unnie though.” Lisa said earning an ‘awww’ from everyone, a blush from ‘Jisoo’ and a “Yah Lalisa” from Rosé.

“Lisa and Jisoo owe us a story as well.” Jeongyeon announced making everyone laugh, except Jennie who was too busy watching Tzuyuwho walked towards her ex and her ex’s new girlfriend. She tensed for a second then sighed with relief as Tzuyu hugged the new couple. But something about the way Tzuyu and Sana looked at each other made Jennie make a mental note to herself to keep an eye on those two.

…

An hour after the party started, Irene walked to the podium located near the grand staircase and started getting everyone's attention.

"Friends, can I have your attention please." Irene's voice echoed through the whole place which made everyone pause whatever they're doing. "I have an announcement to make."

Jennie's full attention was now focused to the girl standing in front after roaming her eyes around to search for a certain tall girl who was suddenly gone missing.“God why can’t they just stay put? Do those two really have to keep disappearing like this?” she mutters angrily in her mind

"Now that I have your attention, may I please call on Kang Seulgi to please stand here in front." Irene watched the said girl walked towards her and extended her arm to assist the younger girl. "As you may all know, I came back here in Seoul for a very certain reason and that is why I called up Seulgi here in front."

Jennie saw how Irene looked at Seulgi with loving eyes and right there and then, she knew that she'll never have a chance to her ultimate crush.

"She never looked at me like that." she said to herself with sad sigh.

"Everyone," Irene spoke holding Seulgi's hand "I am happy to announce that Seulgi and I are getting married."

Everyone stood up and cheered for the newly engaged couple. The rest of the Red Velvet girls, 8/9 of TWICE and 2/4 of BLACKPINK excitedly went towards the podium and engulfed the couple into a hug.

Jennie, on the other hand, walked discreetly towards the double doors going through the pool area. Unbeknownst to her, Jisoo noticed her going outside the room and followed her quietly.

…

Irene’s house had a park at it’s backside. That’s where Jennie went for a stroll. She had to escape the room because she was worried people would see her sad and that would ruin the mood. But now as she was walking by herself in the park she was feeling more confused than upset.

“That didn’t make me feel as bad as it should have.” Jennie wondered “I mean I liked Irene unnie, I have always admired her a lot. She is so pretty and funny and charming but now that she is getting married I don’t know how I feel.” Jennie stood in front of a bush with flowers and admired them “It’s like I always knew that I didn’t stand a chance with her. I always knew that I would one day see her with somebody else. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel that bad. Maybe I do feel bad but I’m just in denial of it.” Jennie continued her stroll “Or maybe my feelings for her did in fact died down during the time when she was away.” Jennie sighed in confusion.

Jennie heard cheers from the living room making her smile sadly “Feels like everyone is happy with someone, except me. Irene unnie and Seulgiunnie, Nayeon unnie with Jeongyeonunnie, Jisoo unnie with Lisa and Rosé with…” this thought made Jennie tear up a little but she blinked her tears away before they could fall down her cheeks. “I should be crying about losing my biggest crush but something else bothers me even more” Jennie sighs to herself, just then she hears giggles, familiar giggles coming from behind one of the bushes. Jennie knows it’s wrong but can’t stop herself from peeping. There she sees Rosé sitting on Sana’s lap who is playfully pecking her neck.

“Ah unnie I’m ticklish there” The younger girl squeals.

“I know” Sana says holding Rosé’s wrists so the younger girl can’t stop her from kissing her ticklish spots making her burst out laughing.

Just as Sana pulls away Rosé leans in and kisses Sana with rather a lot of passion taking both Sana and peeping Jennie with surprise.

“I’m so drunk” Rosé laughs pulling away.

“Since when has Chaeng started drinking?” Jennie wonders.

“I can tell” Sana chuckles kissing the younger girl’s cheek.

“It’s your fault you decided to take me to the bar earlier” Rosé groans.

“How is it my fault for wanting to spend some quality time with you before the party.” Sana responds “Besides I didn’t know your capacity was so low.”

“That’s not true” Rosé protests wrapping her arms around Sana’s neck “I’m so happy” she says pressing her forehead against Sana’s shoulder.

“I’m glad I could make you happy.” Sana says placing her hand on Rosé’s thigh, and this was Jennie’s cue to leave.

She stormed off, this time with tears streaming down her cheeks. As she wipes her tears away it hits her. Everything seems clear to her suddenly. She finally realizes something important that breaks her. Overwhelmed with emotions Jennie kneels down and cries a little.

“What have I done?” she says to herself through her tears as it all rushes back to her.

“I don’t want to be the girl kissing Irene” Jennie finally admits to herself “I want to be the girl kissing…kissing Rosie.”

Jennie hides her face in her hands “I don’t want to be the girl marrying Irene; I want to be the girl who makes Rosé happy”

Jennie feels sick all of a sudden as it hits her “Irene unnie is my crush no doubt, but Rosie…she is different…she is special…I like her, I need her” Jennie stands brushing the dust off of her trousers “I didn’t realize it sooner maybe because I was too focused on Irene to think about anyone else, maybe because I had Rosé around at all times to know much I actually need her until she found someone else, maybe I got scared after I kissed her back that day.”

Jennie wipes away the last of her tears “Little did I know” she says in her mind “It wasn’t Irene but it was Rosé I wanted. Back when we were trainees of course Irene had all my heart but after the holidays I have realized that it’s Rosie whom I want. Maybe this is why I didn’t feel so sad when I lost Irene because I was too upset about losing someone else, who is clearly happier without me now” Jennie sighs.

She then softly says out loud “Rosie, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t return your love sooner. But I miss you, I need you, I…I like you. I know it’s too much to ask but please forgive me. And maybe come back to me.”

“Jen” Jennie nearly jumps.

“Jisoo Unnie! You scared me.”

“I’m sorry, I saw you leave the party and you looked sad so I wanted to approach you and comfort you.”

“Oh” Jennie looks on the ground hiding her tears.

“I…I’ll be honest I saw everything…and heard everything.”

“Oh…” Jennie says again.

“There are certain things” Jisoo begins “That we have been keeping from you.”

Jennie looks up at her Unnie “Like what?”

“Well, I found out some things from Nayeon and some things from Lisa regarding Rosé, and I think you should know.”

“What things?” Jennie asks. Jisoo walks forward and places an old tissue paper in Jennie’s hand “Lisa found this in Chae’s pocket. I think you would like to read it, but first let’s go back to the party before people notice we are missing, and I’ll also tell you what Nayeon told me.”