Vernon is such a damn A Man & His Words he didn’t show up in front of Seungkwan for weeks, they totally cut off in contact. Even they are going to the club room they didn’t cross each other.

 

At Mr Gordon English class, he said that he change the schedule with his assistant and from now on he will take care of the classes at Faculty of Art because his assistant got new assignment. Everything is very smooth, Vernon IS granted Seungkwan’s wish very well, but he sometimes feel anxious about it. Also sad.

 

“Seungkwan, this is the time table for this month.” Jihoon hyung suddenly show up in front of him and give him a paper. “Are you okay? You daydream often these days. Is this about him?” Jihoon sitting beside him.

 

“Maybe, i don’t know, it's just…” he pause for a sigh then continue. “I thought that the pain will subside soon, but every single day i’ve  gone through just make my heart ache even more.” he said and Jihoon feel guilty.

“You need to wait, just time can fix it.” Jihoon said and Seungkwan nodded. “Just fyi, your timetable with Vernon is different, so you will not cross him in this club.” he said and Seungkwan think that it was not necessary explanation, he better not to know. Or maybe he need (?), so he will straight follow the timetable. If they meet, then Vernon the one that tried to meet him, and if that happen he will end all this drama. But the question is, is that possible to happen? And when?

 

--

 

Seungkwan waking up with a swollen eyes. Last night he open his album photo at his phone, then when he choose some picture for his SNS, he accidently see the picture of him and Vernon. On a panic, he switch it but it's too late, his cheek already wet and his eyes blurry. He cried, and then the worst part are he can’t stop it even he really want to.

 

He never cried this hard before, even when he get bullied at high school, he didn’t cried like this. He going to the refrigerator, take some fresh water, its kinda thirsty for cried so hard, all night long, whose not. On the way, he meet his Mom and his sister that frowned after look at him.

 

“What happen? Did you watch sad movie and cried?” his sister asked and he nodded. “Ah that was why your eyes looks like that.”

 

“Huh? but as i remember, you watch spongebob last night? Is that movie sad?” his Mom comment.

 

“I change the movie Mom.” he smile, luckily his Mom and his sister believe it.

 

“I has eyes mask on the fridge, you can use it, your class start after lunch, right? It will get better before it.” his sister said and he nodded, take the mask and back on his room. He still have some times.  

 

--

 

Faculty of English building is exactly beside Library, the order are, Library, Faculty of English, student building and Faculty of art. Opposite of all the building is University park. Vernon is supposed to be going to Mr Gordon office at Faculty of English. He walking from the Library, day dream along the way and when he realize he enter the wrong building, the worst part is, he enter Faculty of Art building, the building when Seungkwan absolutely there.  

 

Vernon keep denying that he miss Seungkwan. He hard headed telling himself that he is a man and his words, so he need keep his promise, but, looks like his body tell him the opposite, his body and his blank mind drag him to the person he miss so much.

 

When he enter the building after weeks, he want to turn around and get out, but other thought was ‘let's take a look and stay for awhile’. Of Course, the second one is win.

 

Vernon brain and body is playing with him, he tried to forget all the Seungkwan’s schedule for these past weeks but he keep remember all of it. Then now, when he need to remember what schedule seungkwan on this day, he can’t remember any of it.

 

“ you brain” he curse his own brain, because he can not remember it. So, he just walking to canteen and there is a-not-really-miracle happen. Vernon see the man he miss, Seungkwan was there alone, sitting on the chair while looking at outside and somehow just daydream and sigh.

 

Vernon take a seat far away from Seungkwan, make sure that his spot is invisible from the man sight, he stare at him from afar. Vernon feel a bit relieved that the man is alone, look lonely, he feel like they have the same ‘feel’ about the ridiculous of being stranger.

 

Vernon thing that the stare session was enough. His need had been fulfill. He move from his seat, but then freeze when he see Seungkwan smile. Oh that smile, Vernon miss it so much, he used to like that smile but this time the hate come first. Vernon think that Seungkwan supposed to be can’t smile so heartfelt and bright like that, because Vernon can’t even show a fake smile since he being cut off.

 

He keep watch the man, the brighter his smile, the more Vernon clenched his teeth. “.” he said and without he realize, he walking to the man and grab his hands.

 

--

 

Seungkwan went to the campus, he getting tired of cried, wailing and regret all the action he make toward Vernon. He don’t know why, it was his choice, his decision to end all of it, he should be strong because of it, not cried like that. That man is gone, he granted Seungkwan’s wish, he never back although Seungkwan really hope that he will back.

 

Seungkwan choose to sitting alone at the canteen, look outside when the couple happily talking and kissing, while he look miserable. He draw another sigh, he can’t count how many sigh he draw since this morning. He feel...lonely.

 

When he look back, Seungkwan always alone. He the only Son at home, never has close friend at school. He hate to be alone, he want to have friend to share everything, that was why he promise himself  to be bright person at college, have some friends, but yet, he sit on the canteen alone and feel lonely.

 

“Seungkwan-ah.” Joshua standing and smile, his round eyes look bright when he greet Seungkwan, make Seungkwan smile wide to greet him back.

 

“Oh Shua hyung.” the man take a seat in front of him and stare at him. Seungkwan surely have some friends now.

 

“I have something for you, something that can cheer you up.” he said. Joshua didn’t know the detail why Seungkwan look gloomy these days, but because he study at same building with Seungkwan and work together with Vernon, he can guess the reason.

 

The man handed him a pamphlet about a musical audition. Seungkwan frowned.

“So, do you want me to join the audition?” he asked and the other man nodded. Seungkwan smile, he don’t know why, in his desperate time, someone give him a chance to reach one of his dream. “Hyung, you know, i am not good at it.” he said and the man frowned.

 

“No, you are good, well…” he paused a bit and think a good word for Seungkwan, but nothing come. “not really good, but it was musical, so with your good voice you could join it.” he said.

 

“I don’t think so, i will give it to Seokmin, i think he will good at it.” he said and suddenly Joshua burst in laugh

 

“Why? Why are you…” Seungkwan paused, then gasp. “No, you are not remember about that…” Seungkwan said, he know what Joshua think and what make him burst in laugh.

 

“Hyung, you promise me not to bring that up again!” Seungkwan said, half angry and half amused with the laugh.

 

“I am so sorry, but remember your audition last time is always make me laughing so hard.” Joshua wipe his tears because of laugh and Seungkwan join him. It was an embarrassing moment for Seungkwan, his awkward acting make the other member laugh.

 

They surely know how to enjoy embarrassing memories, laugh so freely. Without they realize a man walking to their direction, come to their table, and suddenly grab Seungkwan hand. They immediately stop laughing, give a look at the person. Both are so shocked but Seungkwan is way more shocked than Joshua.

 

“Vernon.” both of them calling his name. The man pull Seungkwan up, make him rose from his seat. Seungkwan stare at the man, he didn’t even bother to try release his hand from him

 

“Sorry hyung, i need to talk to him.”he said and Shua look at Vernon and just nodded.

 

“I will call you hyung.” Seungkwan said, his eyes glued on Vernon. Seungkwan being dragged by vernon, away from Joshua.

 

Vernon keep hold seungkwan’s hand. He don’t know where the man will take him, but Seungkwan didn’t want to ask or talk. Seungkwan can’t look at his face but he can stare at his back. The back, the back hair, the way he walking hold his hand. Seungkwan miss that figure, he miss that man.

 

Vernon stop walking, then release Seungkwan’s hand, make the man feel a bit disappointed. They didn’t said anything for awhile. Seungkwan didn’t dare look at the man face, he know how addictive that face. He hope he can stop breath too, so he didn’t need to smell the man scent.

 

The other man stare at Seungkwan and feel anxious with the silent, he massage his temple, messing his hair.

 

“How could you…” Vernon finally speak. Break the silent. Seungkwan in the end lift his head and stare at the man. He now could see that the man is look angry, more angry than the last time he said that he want them to be stranger.

 

Seungkwan know he can’t just keep silent. “Vernon...” that was the first thing he said.

 

They wait each other to start talking more than 3 words, but none come from them. Until Seungkwan see Vernon closed his eyes and he know that the man hold his anger.

 

“I can’t believe you can laugh freely like that, i thought you will be as sad as me.” Vernon mumble, talking to himself but Seungkwan heard it.

 

“I… “ Seungkwan want to tell the man that he is sad,but can’t because he was the one that want all happen.

 

“Talk!” Vernon snaped. He can’t bear the paused nor the silent. “Just talk. Anything. So i can hear your voice.” he said. Seungkwan just stare at him. He should the one that told him something like that. He should said to the man that let it be just a silent and quite so he can enjoy the moment with him.

 

“I have nothing to say.” he said it, stern then he turn his back.

 

Vernon run and blocking his way. “I have.” Vernon said he take a deep breath. “Don’t ask me to leave, i will not going anywhere far from you.” he said.

 

Seungkwan move his body, getting closer to Vernon. Seungkwan that didn’t even dare to talk, or look at Vernon’s eyes, move his hand and touch Vernon’s cheek, softly, mesmerized by the soft of his skin. Vernon didn’t avoiding it, or refused the touch, he just freeze. Seungkwan fix Vernon’s brown hair. After that he stare at his eyes.

 

“Then i will the one that go away from you.” Seungkwan said.

 

“Why are you do this to me? Do you know how hard it was days and weeks without you? Days and weeks avoiding you, days and weeks granted your nonsense wish, i won’t do that again.” Vernon said. “Don’t, don’t go anywhere Boo seungkwan!” he said again.

 

Seungkwan gasped. This is what Jihoon said to him, ‘if he back then you need to tell him the feeling.’ But Seungkwan choose to take step back he feel so scared right now, what if the pain is way more hurtful than before.

 

“Vernon-ah, there is a wall between us, i tried to not open the door or even a window. No matter what happen i will make the wall higher so no one from us could even climb it.” he said.

 

Vernon’s grab seungkwan hands and make the man look straight on his eyes. “I will break the wall, everytime you build the new one i will break it.” Vernon said, clenched his jaw.

 

--

 

Seungkwan awake with a tired face, Vernon is really something. That man just said something that make him can’t even sleep then vanish for almost a week. He brushing his teeth, then stop and look himself at the mirror. “What? Will break the wall? What the hell he saying about.” he babble then continue brushing his teeth.

 

After The break-wall-talking Vernon declare last time, he is so happy, but day after he being scared, and then he become miss him so much. Then now it's turn to be angry when he didn’t see him, Vernon didn’t show up for a ing a week.

 

He gargle, then look at himself again at the mirror. “He didn’t even show up for a week, that crazy Vernon!” he continued his babble. He sigh and wash his face. Then out from the bath and almost slamming the door.

 

“Why? Something happen? What makes you that angry?” Seungkwan’s Mom look at her only son, and that time Seungkwan’s noona enter the house.

 

“Omma, the egg, i got it.” she said and he look at Seungkwan. “What? Why are you so angry?” she asked and seungkwan just sigh and walking to his room without answer their question.

 

He prepare himself to going to the campus, he has a class in 2 hours. He out from his bedroom and then sitting on the dining table.

 

“Got a bad day?” his sister asked him and he just glared at his sister. He just don’t want to answer that question but the eyed turn out to be angry eyed. “wowow, easy. Fine i will not ask.” she said and Seungkwan continue his breakfast, no word come from him, just sigh. He afraid if he open his mouth he just yell to the precious woman on that house.

 

When they are enjoy the breakfast, the doorbell ringing. “I will open it.” Sojung said. Then run to the door. “Omooooo.” Hazily he heard his sister scream. She run to the dining room and look at their Mom. “Omma, look who come.” she said and Seungkwan see her mom smile brightly, Seungkwan didn’t bother to turn around and look who's the one that come.

 

“Vernon-ah, come here and breakfast with us.” Seungkwan widened his eyes when he heard the name. Turn his back to make sure that what he heard is correct. There, he see Vernon standing less than a meter behind him and show his gummy smile. Their eyes meet. The man walking toward them and Seungkwan’s eyes follow him, he choose to sitting beside Seungkwan.

 

“How are you? What are you doing lately?” Seungkwan’s mom ask while give him a bowl of rice, he gladly accept it.

 

“I am Fine Mom, thank you, i am getting busy lately. I helped Mr Gordon for english seminar then i tried to be a professional barista.” he said. Seungkwan eat his breakfast quietly, but he sharpen his ears to listen all the question toward Vernon and his answer.

 

“Wow, you are admirer boy, i hope you could be my son in law.” Seungkwan’s mom said, suddenly Seungkwan standing, make the other surprised. “What?” his mom asked.

 

“Nothing just want some coffee.” he said and walking to the coffee machine.

 

“Can i get one too? Please.” Vernon asked and smile at him, Seungkwan that not in a good mood since morning, lazily take another cup for him. “Thank you, that so sweet of you.” he said when the cup reach Vernon’s hand. Seungkwan didn’t know why he feel annoying with that words.not only the words, but also the person.

 

Seungkwan didn’t muttered any word while Vernon chatting happily with Seungkwan’s Mom and Sister. He just quietly eating his breakfast.

 

“Did you do a silent treatment on me? Am i doing something wrong?” Vernon asked once they sitting on the bus, going to the university together. Seungkwan look straight on his eyes and then ignore him. Vernon sigh. “Is this because i am disappear for this entire week?” he asked. “Did you miss me?” Vernon asked again.

 

Seungkwan give up, he can’t just quite with this man. He frowned at vernon, didn’t understand how could he ask something like that with so light. “Well, I just found out that what you tell me last week and what you did this entire week is not synchronized. So, you could take back that words and pretend that we don’t know each other, i am fine.” he said and Vernon chuckles make Seungkwan frowned. “Is there something funny?” he asked and the handsome man just shook his head.

 

“No, its just that.. I am so glad to know that you miss me.” he said.

 

“What? No i’m not.” Seungkwan dodge.

 

“Its okay, because i miss you. I was on Seminar out of town, then when i back there is a some problem on cafe, i am trying to finish it as soon as possible so i can see you.” he said and Seungkwan can’t help but melt with his words. Vernon see Seungkwan expression change, softer than before. “For make you feel better, i have no class today, but i am here, on the bus that going to university so i can with you longer.” he said.

 

Seungkwan lift his eyebrow, widened his eyes. Didn’t expect that the man could said something good like that. Yes of course it's good. What Vernon just said could make anyone melt. But Seungkwan keep pretend to not interested what he said even his heart beat so fast.