Vernon rest on the bench under the big tree at University park. Today is a very hot day and he feel exhausted. The heat is no joke.

 

“Vernon” Joshua sitting beside him.

 

“Oh Hong!” Vernon greet the man. They are close and from America so they are not really into sunbae-hoobae or older-younger like that, they are just simply, friend.

 

“This place is always nice for a summer heat.” He said and Vernon nodded agree. “Are you alone?” Joshua asked.

 

“Yup, there is no Seungkwan, he has a class.” Vernon said and Joshua frowned. Vernon see the frown. “What?”

 

“Why you brought his name? I didn’t even think of him or have intention asking about him to you.” Joshua said. “Well, i always asked Seungkwan where you’ve been when i meet him. But never asked you where is him when i meet you.” he said and Vernon frowned.

 

“Why?” Vernon confused, the heat make him more dumb than usual, and he prefer ask instead of guess.

 

“Because you are the one that always followed him everywhere, ask people where he is, and excited when see him, that was why people always ask Seungkwan about you not the other way.” he said and Vernon being quite.

 

Vernon remember what he said to Seungkwan last time, that people always ask him where Seungkwan, why they are not together, and all. Then now, after what Joshua said, he just realized that people was not really asking about Seungkwan.

 

“Hey are you alright?” Joshua asking when he realize that Vernon suddenly become quite

 

“Ah, no, its okay, just think about something.” Vernon dodge.

 

“Did you have a problem with Seungkwan?” Joshua asked.

 

“We are fine… i think so.” Vernon was not sure. And Joshua know there must be something.

 

“What happen? Tell me.” he said and then Vernon sigh, stare at him and telling him what he said on the cafe 2 days ago.

 

“That what you said to him?” Joshua widened his eyes after Vernon done with his talking.

 

“Is that bad?” Vernon feel something wrong.

 

“Well, everything is ok but ‘i am afraid you are uncomfortable because we are too close.’ that’s wrong.” Joshua said and Vernon fix his seat and sharpen his ears to hear more. “If i am Seungkwan i will think that you are the one that uncomfortable because we are too close and ‘arasso’ mean is he will grant your wish.” he said and Vernon pulled a deep breath. He just shock and realize the fact that what Joshua said is right. And he just make a big mistake about saying something like that.

 

“Eii, Seungkwan was not some one like that, we are good. He will know that it was not what i mean.” Vernon said, denying the fact.

 

“Are you sure?” he asked again. “Because i just see Seungkwan behind you, he stop when he see me with you then turn around and walking away.” Joshua said and Vernon widened his eyes.

 

“He what?” he turn his body and see Seungkwan’s figure walking with Jihoon hyung. “Is he just avoiding me?” Vernon asked Joshua.

 

“Honestly. Yes he seems like avoiding you.” Joshua give a sure look at Vernon. “You need to solve it, Seungkwan is baby on PH Kyunghaa club, we don’t know what happen with you if the member know he get hurt.” Joshua said but Vernon can’t heard anything from him after ‘yes’ he has a bad feeling about this.

 

--

 

Seungkwan’s classes canceled and he feel so exhausted from the hot weather, he want to sit under the tree at university park, there is always a good breeze there.

 

“Seungkwan-ah, where will you going?” Jihoon see his beloved dongsaeng.

 

“Park, just get some fresh air.” he said and Jihoon nodded.

 

“I will going to Club room. See you.” he said and Seungkwan smile brightly.

 

He walking to the park, then he see Joshua, he smile and run to him but then stop when he see Joshua sit with someone, and Seungkwan know that figure very well. He see Joshua saw him and on that place. Seungkwan being dilemma, should he walking toward them or turn back, and he decide to turn back. Run to Jihoon.

 

“Huh? you said you will going to the park.” Jihoon surprised see Seungkwan walking beside him.

 

“I change my mind.” he said and then walking faster. And drag Jihoon to walk faster with him.

 

“Why? Why are you such in hurry?” Jihoon confused with the weird behaviour of his dongsaeng. “Did you have a problem with Seungcheol and then now he chase you? Its okay, i could handle him.” he said and Seungkwan shook his head.

 

“No, it's just too hot out here so i think Club room is good, cooler that outside.” he said. Jihoon nodded his head, what he said is right. AC at club room are working perfectly.

 

Jihoon look at Seungkwan that keep look behind. He feel something wrong with the man.

 

“Are you avoiding someone?” that was what Jihoon asked when they reach the Club room.

 

“N-noo, what make you think like that?” Seungkwan fluttered with the sudden question.

 

“I know someone that avoiding me lately, and his behaviour is exactly like you.” he said. “Fine, if no.” he said then open his laptop.

 

“What are you doing?” Seungkwan asked when he see Jihoon doing something with his laptop. Change the topic.

 

“Preparing our MT, its this weekend, so many thing need to done and i am crazy about this already.” he said

 

“I can help.” Seungkwan said and Jihoon turn his chair, his eyes shine and he smile brightly. “J-just said what can i help, you are scary if you smile like that.” he said.

 

“Just please help me to add more on the schedule, the file are on behind that room, just done it there. And thank you, thank you for the help.” he said and Seungkwan walking to the room focus on the task.

 

While Seungkwan doing his task, someone enter the room and face Jihoon. “Is Seungkwan here?” that person is Vernon, he asked Jihoon and the man just frowned.

 

“No, he was not.” Jihoon said, he was not really lied about it. Seungkwan was not at the same room with him, he is on the other room.

 

“I thought he was here.” Vernon mumble, he look down, feeling sad and disappointed.

 

“Why? Do you have a problem with him?” Jihoon asked and Vernon just smile. “Solve it, you’ll be dead if all the hyung here know.” Jihoon said, so soft but could make people feel terrified.

 

“I want to, but he keep avoiding me, how could i solve the problem?” he grunted.

 

Jihoon look at him and sign him to sitting on the chair beside him. And the younger do what the older want. “Come with us.” he show Vernon a pamphlet for MT. Vernon brows come together, show a wrinkles on his forehead

 

“But this MT just for permanent member, i am just temporary.” he said and Jihoon take a paper from rack beside him.

 

“Then you just need sign this contract.” Jihoon said and Vernon reading the paper, it was a new contract to tie him as a permanent. “You got paid for every project if you are permanent.” he said and Vernon never know that, he read again the contract and yes there is some amount on there.

 

Vernon is not a materialistic person, but he work very diligently for his own life and this one will be his another chance, so without a second though he sign the paper.

 

Jihoon smile. “Welcome.” he said.

 

--

 

Seungkwan running to the campus, the team will be depart on 7 sharp and now its 6.45, and he has some task to do before depart. He run like a crazy and have no time to take a breath when reach the club room.

 

“You are late, i told you to come 6.30.” Jihoon hand him a box.

 

“I am sorry.” he said, then help Jihoon to get more boxes. “Hyung, what are you doing make our Jihoon hyung take all these boxes? Your body is bigger than him.” Seungkwan scold Seungcheol that only standing in the corner and stare at Jihoon.

 

“You have an extra energy today, and thank you for the scold, i appreciate it so much.” Jihoon said it after Seungcheol take the box from his hands.

 

“You know my problem hyung, and i will free from the person that i am avoiding for this entire weekend. I have so much energy.” Seungkwan said and Jihoon stare at him. “What? Something wrong?” he know Jihoon very well, because they always work together. The face and the stare that Jihoon give to him will look normal to other but it's not for Seungkwan.

 

“Am i late?” someone come with a panting. Seungkwan heard that voice and  recognize it immediately.

 

Seungkwan widened his eyes and look at the man in front of him, now he know why Jihoon give him that look before. “Did you make him become permanent member?” Seungkwan ask him.

 

“He doing good, i am appreciate his hard work.” Jihoon said and Seungkwan rolling his eyes.

 

“Great, i feel exhausted just think about it.” Seungkwan said and lazily move his feet. He see Vernon talking with Joshua and Seungcheol. Vernon see him and smile. If only Seungkwan’s head was not complicated about his feeling toward Vernon this MT with him will be so much fun, and Seungkwan could enjoy it. He hope that he can at least break from his own drama this weekend, but looks like he has extra work to do with Vernon come to this MT. this weekend might be a hell for him.

 

--

 

Seungkwan look around and take a deep breath, inhale clean air around him. It's been awhile since he visit a nice place. They got a villa beside a lake, 5 minutes of walking down from the hill there is a stream. All of it feel so good, good air and away from noise, make all of the member going excited.

 

“Hyung, you got a good place.” Seungkwan told Jihoon and the man smile. Despite all the drama he avoiding Vernon, he want to enjoy this place and this occasion.

 

“I will do anything so i could get extra sleep. Enjoy this place, i do the searching for a month and finally got the perfect one.” he said and Seungkwan chuckle. That cute man is really love sleep.

 

“Hey BOYS! Please keep your responsibility, you can play when you are done with your own job. Now, Go unloading our stuff, we need to prepare the party.” Seungcheol order the member. And all the boys take some boxes from the car.

 

Seungkwan walking to the kitchen with a box full of food. He is in charge for the food, he was so happy when he get his work list. Nothing could separate him from the food. He walking carefully because the boxes blocking his eyes, slowly walking so he didn’t bump on something.

 

“Omo!” he surprised when he see Vernon in front of him after put down the box. Their eyes meet, Seungkwan immediately avoiding it, he really want to look at that beautiful eyes but he really need to avoiding it before it's too late. He tried to move away from him, but Vernon blocking his way. He move to left Vernon follow him, he move to the right he follow him. Seungkwan sigh and frowned. “What?” he asked because he know the man will not give up before he speak.

 

“I think i am doing something wrong to you.” Vernon said and Seungkwan just standing quietly. He want to tell him that he was not, he was not doing anything wrong. But he choose to keep silent  “I am sorry.” Vernon said, the tone was so soft and full of guilt. It make Seungkwan feel sorry for what he do to him.

 

“You are not doing anything wrong.” Seungkwan finally said something. “The problem is on me, no need to said sorry, nothing to be Sorry.” Seungkwan said while smile plastered on his lips.

 

“Then why are you avoiding me these days?” Vernon asking, because he really didn’t understand why the man is avoiding him if he was not doing something wrong, they were not on contact for a week, and this is the first time they face each other. Vernon like crazy looking for him, and Seungkwan is really good at hide.

 

“I just being busy, i am helping Jihoon hyung with this MT.” he said, its make sense for Vernon, but he didn’t satisfied with the answer. “Vernon-ah, we need to move, if i am not finish my work, Seungcheol hyung will angry and we will die.” Seungkwan said. Vernon has no choice except let him go, and beside they will on the same place for 3 days and 2 night.

 

“Seungkwan-ah.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Don’t run away from me.” Vernon said it before Seungkwan leave him to do his works.

Seungkwan supposed to be feel happy with what he said, but this times he scared. Seungkwan can’t reply that because he planning to do it, again and again, running away from him.

 

--

 

After ‘kitchen talk’ before Seungkwan didn’t talk to Vernon again. Everytime Vernon come close, Seungkwan will be going somewhere. When he tried talk to him, Seungkwan just smile then go away, It keep happen and Vernon feel frustrated about it. He miss talking to him, Vernon miss Seungkwan around. Now, even they are on the same place they didn’t even standing beside each other.

 

They all finish the work and gather on the living room. One by one enter the number on karaoke machine and start singing. As they expected, Seungkwan that want forget the day do all the fun, he singing (mostly) girl group song and dancing perfectly, make others member gasp in awe. Vernon include.

 

For the first night they already prepare the dinner so they just eat it and going to the next level. Drinking party. They prepare soju and beer on the table. Seungcheol and Mingyu that good at mixing being the bartender. Seokmin that really good talking keep make the other member drink and drink, Vernon and Seungkwan can’t be excepted.

 

Seungkwan drink his 3rd glass and already feel dizzy, everyone know that he was not good at drink, his face already red and he feel sleepy. He look at Vernon that his face start being red but he keep gulping down his glass.

 

Seungkwan going to the kitchen, prepared the breakfast tomorrow, so he just need to warm it tomorrow. After hours, he walking back to the living room, he see that all of them already passed out. He take some blanked and put it one by one on them. And the last one is on Vernon, he sitting down and come closer so he could see the man face. It's the only time he could enjoy that face, when he sleep.

 

When he see Vernon’s face, adore it, Seungkwan didn’t understand himself why he run away from that face, why he want to not see that face again, he is perfect, handsome, and has a special place on his heart. Seungkwan smile while staring at vernon sleep face, then a thought come to his mind, that he can’t own that person, he can’t forever look at him like this, someday this person will walking away from him if the man know what he feel toward him. That moment,  pain creep on his heart, when he realize that he need to give up on that man. Seungkwan look around and found a bottle of suju, he grab the bottle and gulped it down, feel a burning feeling on his throat. He drink until he fall asleep.

 

--

 

Seungkwan feel pain all over his body, he open his eyes and so shocked when he see Vernon face just an inch from his face. Then he feel something warm around his body, around his hips, that was Vernon’s arms. Seungkwan is sleeping on Vernon embrace. He freeze and can’t move, scared that the man will be awake if he move. But the other side of his heart, he secretly hope that the time stop there, or at least just paused for a bit. He want to enjoy that moment, just a bit more. Seungkwan caress Vernon cheek and he come closer, without he realize he peck his nose. After that he look at the man lips, he almost peck that lips but then he freeze there. He realize that what he do is not right.

 

Seungkwan abruptly awake and run to the kitchen. Drink a water, calm his heart and his stomach that in urge want to vomit. He see Vernon still sleeping on his place, and vague he feel vernon arms that hold him before. He bit his lips, how could that happen? Is he the one that come to him or the other way? How they could sleep on the same place when Seungkwan remember he move far away from him before he fall asleep.

 

--

 

Today is most tired day for seungkwan, he can’t face vernon at all, everytime he see him, his face become so red, he remember what he tried to do to the man before and feel so embarrassed with his own action. The other asked him that he was okay or he got a fever because his face is so red. He couldn’t explain what happen so he just said that he is ok.

 

Today is the last day, the last night, and tomorrow they will be back home from MT. For the last night, they prepare the barbeque party on the veranda. Seungkwan and Vernon are in charge to do the grill as they are the maknae on this MT. but because he can’t even dare to look at Vernon or being close to him, he strongly said that he is fine to do the grill alone.

 

“I will help you.” Jihoon said, and Seungkwan could heard some of them gasp in disbelief. It's so unusual for Jihoon to grill some meat. He was not fans of moving around or doing something that make him tired, and all believe that grill a meat is one of it. But even the other didn't really comfortable with his move, no one volunteered to change, they want to see what happen with the meat. Seungkwan only could sight, he know, the one that will grill all the meat is him, Jihoon will just standing beside him and order him around. Seungkwan couldn’t protest about it, he think its better than he standing beside Vernon all the night.

 

“Why did you keep avoiding him? I am trying to help here.” Jihoon protest, Seungkwan know what he meant.

 

“It was not that simple hyung.” he said, and the shorter man snort.

 

“You avoiding him because you like him and you think that he will not reply your feeling, which is you never know because you never ask him.” Jihoon said and every words that come from him is true.

 

“How could you…?”

 

“I told you, i know someone that has the same behaviour as you, i bet he stare at me right now.” Jihoon said and Seungkwan caught Seungcheol hyung staring at him.

 

“It's clearly that you like him back, why he avoiding you?” Seungkwan didn’t understand the situation between Jihoon and Seungcheol.

 

“Why are you asking me? You know the reason why, you just do what exactly he doing to me right now.” Jihoon said and Seungkwan gasped in disbelief. He used to hate what Seungcheol did to Jihoon, the older man keep avoiding the younger, because didn’t have the courage to told Jihoon that he like him. And the worst is Seungcheol always think that Jihoon never like him, Which is so stupid, everyone on the club or maybe the entire art faculty know that they like each other. Seungcheol is just a coward, and Seungkwan hate him sometimes. Then now, he just do something exactly like that person do. Seungkwan suddenly hate himself.

 

“What should i do hyung? The difference between my case and yours is, yours is clearly you like him back and people know it, Seungcheol hyung that being stupid and didn’t realize it, but mine is...could you guess and sure that Vernon like me?” Seungkwan ask his hyung advice.

 

Jihoon bit his lips, what Seungkwan said is right, Jihoon know that Vernon like Seungkwan, but he was not sure, just yet. So he give an advice to the younger. “If you want to know, cut him off clearly, if he was not back, then he was not like you, if he back, then you need to said to him clearly that you like him. If after your confession he back off.” the man take a deep breath. The next words will be hurt. “You need to forget about him. He doesn’t deserve you.” Jihoon said. Seungkwan know it was the only way he can do for end all this avoiding drama. He need to move, if can, with the extreme way he could. He will tried Jihoon’s advice because he can’t think another way.

 

The funny thing is, they have a pretty serious conversation while grill the meat.

 

--

 

 

 

 

 

hey its another long boring chapter, just fyi, i wasn't fans of angst, so i will make them make up soon.

chapter 5, so if i am not change my mind then 6 or 7 chapter to go.

thank you for subscribe and comment. I love you all.