SinB bore a hole through the thick dining table with her eyes that never left the mahogany-coloured cured wooden table. The dinner is awkward because of Jackson’s presence even though he is not even related to the Hwang’s family, not by blood though. He is SinB’s father’s little brother’s wife’s nephew. However, the man who is a year older than SinB always tags along with SinB’s uncle, who is also known as the junior Dr. Hwang. That’s what Chief Bae calls her uncle who is working in the same hospital as her but currently on study leave. 

SinB’s mother is very involved in Jackson’s life as she is very concern about him because she is very keen on making him her son in law. Perhaps because he is a good-looking young man, can be considered as smart among the general population as he is also a doctor in training like SinB. But, amongst the medical community, he is considered to be in the lowest rank. He had to repeat a year in med school and another year while interning. He and SinB were supposed to be two years apart but because of the circumstances, they are both currently first-year interns.

Jackson tried to get into the same surgical program as SinB but he didn’t make the cut. Her mother asked for her father’s help to recommend Jackson for the program but he couldn’t because of the young man’s qualification doesn’t look too good and the hospital’s surgical program is one of the best in the nation. He didn’t even get into the surgical program that SinB’s father runs in their family’s hospital because the senior Dr. Hwang refused to give him special treatment.

The dinner became more awkward when her mother starts talking about how lovely it would be when she and Jackson get together. There will be a plastic surgeon in the family. Apparently, Jackson wants to be a plastic surgeon which SinB’s father just scoffed upon hearing it. Perhaps the renown surgeon thinks that the man wouldn’t be able to achieve it seeing his lack of skills.

SinB thought the night could not have gone even awkward for their guests as they have to listen to her mother talking about Jackson and praising him. She then gets why her mother did that. It’s because Jackson is transferring to the surgical program in the same hospital as SinB’s and convincing Chief Bae that he is qualified for it although the junior Dr. Hwang was the one pulling some strings to help him transfer into the program.

That was awkward and embarrassing enough for them, well, at least for SinB and her father as evidenced on their faces. Then, SinB’s mother managed to take it to another level of awkwardness, it became so unpleasant that SinB wanted to cover her own mother’s mouth with her hand and dragged her out of the dining room. What could the former head of nurse at the hospital half of the people in the dining room are currently working at could say to take the situation up a notch? The woman just brought up the topic of choosing a specialty and reminded SinB that she shouldn’t consider taking up trauma surgery.

With that topic, Mrs. Hwang just opens the door to the awkward, prying woman’s world when she swiftly changes the topic to how it was good riddance when Irene ended her relationship with Yerin. For anyone who might be wondering what is the link between the two topics, it is because Yerin is a trauma surgeon. SinB’s mother began to tell the story of how she convinced Chief Bae about the hardship of being in a relationship with a trauma surgeon. 

”Honey, c’mon. Let’s not talk about it. I mean, was it really bad?” SinB’s father said to stop his wife from talking about it.

SinB’s father can sense the heavy, uneasiness environment enveloping the Bae’s family and SinB with the topic, tries stopping his wife. But to no avail, the woman is convinced that both Chief Bae and his wife are on the same page as her. Little that she knows, Mrs. Bae was against the decision from the start and Chief Bae is still regretting talking Irene into breaking up with Yerin years ago. Every time they hang out, his closest friend always talks about it when he got drunk.

He saw how his friend was consumed with guilt that he meddled with his daughter’s life. Even though Irene never blamed him or anything, he saw how his friend is still regretting what he did and he determined not to do the same to his daughter. He knows Yerin personally. She is a good kid and she had a hard time when Irene broke up with her. He knew this because Yerin came to him asking for his advice to try and improve herself to win Irene back. She decided to change and improve herself first as a trauma surgeon and prove to Irene and Chief Bae that she can be a responsible, caring partner as well as a great trauma surgeon. And for this, he had a fair share of guilt for Yerin because he was the one convincing her to do it, all because he wanted Yerin to succeed him in the field of trauma surgery. 

Yerin really is a great surgeon and caring partner. He saw it himself how Yerin worked hard to horn her skill, at the same time spending time caring and loving her partner. All the things he took for granted when he was young, Yerin did them all without fail. He never thought Yerin about this, it’s already in her. She really is a great person. SinB’s father glances at her and smiles flatly. 

”That girl is no good for you. You were lucky you dumped her early in your relationship,” Mrs. Hwang says as she gives Irene a thumbs up.

Irene just looks down without responding. She doesn’t want to engage in the conversation, a conversation that she dreaded the most. Irene’s younger sister on the other hand, is getting on a defensive mode and respond to SinB’s mother head-on.

”Yerin unnie is a very great person. She cares for people and not just her work. She is as a great surgeon as she is a person, auntie.”

Irene tugs her younger sister’s hand under the table signalling her to tone down a notch. As much as she agrees with her sister, it is impolite since they are Mrs. Hwang’s guests. The message conveyed through and Irene sister’s just heaves a sigh, a defeated sigh. But then, Irene’s mother tag in and defend Yerin whom she loves dearly.

”I have you know that Yerin still visits us every now and then, she sends us presents and food. She is a very good kid.”

”Omooo...! She is still lurking around?! Oh my! She shouldn’t be doing that. Irene is with Dr. Kang now, right? See? I told you, that girl is bad. Omooo, you have to stay away from her, Irene-ah,” said SinB’s mother. 

”Auntie, Yerin unnie is not doing anything bad to Irene unnie. She is not a bad person. She is great-” Irene’s younger sister defended the defenceless Yerin who is not even here with them.

”Oh my! Did you fell for Yerin as well? Don’t. Stay away from her. Irene, you better take care of your sister. See? I told you she is a bad person. You better take care, don’t fall for her trap. She is just going to take advantage of you. Bae, look after your daughter. You knew about that nurse, don’t you?” 

Everyone’s eyes open wide at the mention of the jaw-dropping rumour by SinB’s mother’s mouth who apparently always have something to refute everything people say about Yerin. SinB had heard about the rumour but she can’t believe that her mother knew about it as well. How could she when the incident was said to happened with a nurse and Yerin, both are working at the hospital where SinB’s mother had left more than ten years ago. But then, SinB’s mother was the former head nurse of the hospital and is still the president of the nurse association, so she probably has her way of knowing about it. 

”Auntie! Ye-”

SinB quickly cuts Irene unnie from heating up the conversation although she shares the same sentiment, ”who’s ready for dessert?” 

”I am! SinB honey, go get the desserts your friend bought,” said SinB’s father trying to help SinB saving the situation from getting even uncomfortable.

SinB nods her head and stands, ready to leave the dining table for the kitchen to get the desserts. 

”I’ll help you,” said Irene, standing up as well.

”I’ll help clear the plates,” said Irene’s sister but was stopped by the maid who immediately takes the plates off her hand.

”The maids can get them, you don’t have to,” said SinB’s mother.

”I’ll give SinB unnie a hand then,” Irene’s sister says and gets up immediately without waiting for a response as she needed to get away from the woman who seems to be making slandering Yerin is her mission tonight. 

Both SinB and Irene didn’t say anything as they can see how badly the teenager needed to get away from the dining table. SinB leads the way to the kitchen with two Bae sisters on tow. She begins to unpack the fruits Yerin bought earlier while Irene getting ready with a knife to cut them into pieces. 

”Can you bring these to the table first? We’ll finish with the desserts and bring them out later,” asked SinB to the teenager who has had almost a cup of mixed fruits while helping to arrange the fruits her sister and SinB had cut into bitesize pieces. The young girl just smiles and takes the two plates full of fruits before leaving the kitchen after taking another bite of the watermelon Irene was eating.

SinB smiles to herself and chuckles a little. She can’t help but see that the girl’s behaviour is highly influenced by Yerin’s. As if she can hear what SinB has in mind, Irene says, ”she was still a little kid when she met Yerin, she takes up a lot from her. Mostly the weird and mischievous part though. Yerin likes to play with her, tried spending a lot of time with her.”

”Ahh, no wonder she looks up greatly to Yerin,” said SinB.

”Anyone would be. I’m sorry to say this but, Yerin is not as bad as your mother make her, not even close,” Irene said as she washes the knife and takes a smaller one for her to cut the desserts.

”Yerin bought this, didn’t she?” Irene asks SinB.

A little shocked with Irene’s guess, SinB just nods her head as a response. She looks quizzically at Irene before asking the older woman how did she know about it.

”She has a sweet tooth, and she always buys something.”

”So...Yerin?” SinB finally asks the question she has been dying to ask ever since her mother mentioned the name and Irene was looking nothing but sad and regret. 

”So, Jackson?” Irene asks SinB back instead of answering her.

”Do you still like Yerin? Love Yerin?” SinB asks, totally ignoring Irene’s question.

”Do you like Jackson? Love Jackson?” once again Irene asks her instead of answering her question.

The questions they asked each other make them stop what they are doing and heave a heavy sigh. The question hits them to the core. It’s not like they don’t know what they are feeling, it’s more complicated than that.

Irene continues cutting five kinds of desserts that Yerin bought while thinking about SinB’s question. Does Irene still like Yerin? Yes. Does Irene still love Yerin? Yes. She is clear with what she is feeling. But, should she be feeling this feeling? Partly no? It’s complicated. Surely, she shouldn’t be feeling this feeling for her ex-girlfriend because she is currently in a relationship with Seulgi. But, she can’t help it. She still loves Yerin. For sure she is still. She didn’t break up with Yerin willingly, but she wasn't forced to either and it wasn’t the best thing to do too.

But then, she did ask for a breakup, Yerin didn’t want it, they took some time thinking and then they just came up with the decision. It’s not because they fell out of love, but because of a grounded yet avoidable concern. So, to answer SinB’s question, she has to either lie or tell the complicated, ugly truth that will only hurt people including herself.

Just like Irene, SinB is also questioning herself of her feeling towards Jackson. Does she like Jackson? She does like him as a person. He is nice, sometimes arrogant but it is tolerable. He is kind, caring and loving to her especially. So, she doesn’t hate him. Does she love him? She can’t answer this as she never really thought about it. She enjoys spending time with him. She has no problem texting or calling him even at night. She sometimes cares of his whereabouts and who is he spending time with.

There are some occasions that they got into a fight because one of them forgot to tell the other their plan and unable to hang out with one another. There are days that she waited for his text. Does this call love? And most of them are the things or feelings that she feels with Yerin too. She is not sure at all about loving Jackson, but, if Irene asks her if she loves Yerin? She could at least say 50% yes. She is not 100% sure of it, but she thinks she already fell in love with Yerin and that is halfway from completely in love with her. 

”SinB, honey? Where are the desserts? My stomach is filled with fruits already, but the space for desserts is still empty,” SinB’s father’s yell out from the dining room, bringing both SinB and Irene out of their reveries. 

”Coming, appa,” SinB responded as she exchanges smile with Irene and finish cutting and arranging the desserts.

***

”How are they doing now?” Dr. Hwang senior asks his best friend, Chief Bae.

”I guess they are still the same,” Chief Bae answers as he sips the alcoholic drink his friend serves him.

”And how are you doing?” Dr. Hwang senior asks again.

Chief Bae exhales deeply, staring at the glass of alcoholic drink in his hand. He swirls the glass and sighs. He then shakes his head.

”Do you still blame yourself?” 

Chief Bae nods his head before taking a mouthful gulp of the strong liquor. For the nth time tonight, he lets out a long, weary sigh. He hasn’t thought about it for quite some time, but it flooded his mind tonight when his best friend’s wife mentioned Yerin’s name, talked about Yerin and Irene’s past relationship relentlessly. 

”She is still living in the same apartment, sleeping on the same couch, visiting the same bar on the same date. She still spends most of her time on the rooftop, in the cafe, at the ER instead of her house. She still goes out for groceries shopping with her.” 

Chief Bae looks down on his lap. His face is full of regret. He is devastated to the point that his eyes are teary and he is still completely sober. Dr. Hwang Senior pats Chief Bae’s back. He shares the same sentiment. It burdens him as well since he was a part of it. He and Chief Bae both love Yerin dearly like she is their son. They they trained Yerin like a son, they treated Yerin like a son, she is always their go-to person when they went out drinking. Chief Bae couldn’t stop the tears from shedding out of his eyes. He keeps rambling.

”C’mon Bae, get ahold of yourself. Yerin will  eat you alive if she finds you like this. You are not even drunk yet,” Dr. Hwang Senior smacks the back of the crying man’s head.

They both laugh reminiscing the time when they got a beating that one time they got drunk and Yerin drove them back to Chief Bae’s house. And the two stop laughing abruptly at the thought of Yerin’s acknowledgment of them being the ones ruining her love life, yet, she still asked them not to think about it too much and accept what had happened. They do think about it too much when there’s nothing any of them can do to make amends. Yerin said that she already came to term with it years ago and suggested that they do so too. 

”She’s a great kid,” muttered Dr. Hwang Senior, Chief Bae nods his head in agreement.

”Do you think she will finally get what she deserves this time?” Chief Bae asks, looking up at his best friend.

Dr. Hwang senior heaves a sigh. Now his turn to stare long and hard into space, looking weary. Once a while, he steals a glance over at the dining table where their daughters are, talking to each other, then over at the living room where their wives, his brother and his wife and Jackson are talking. 

”I told SinB I approved of Yerin, not sure about her mother though...”

”If the dinner is any indication, I would say she still detest trauma surgeon,” said Chief Bae, chuckling forcefully.

”She’s a grown woman, she has the right to choose what she wanted to do, what she wanted to be and who she wanted to be with. And we both know Yerin is more than capable to do things we both can’t do. She shouldn’t be paying for our mistakes,” Dr. Hwang take the last big gulp of the hard liquor in his hand before standing up to leave at the signal of his wife waving them to come back in.

”We have to leave, honey. Irene has to work tomorrow morning,” said Mrs. Bae.

The Bae’s family take their leaves after thanking the Hwang’s family for the lovely dinner, especially SinB for the delicious desserts.

***

”What are you doing? What did you have for dinner?” SinB asks the person on the other end of the line as soon as she was greeted warmly.

”Nothing.”

”Yerin, what do you mean nothing? Nothing as in not doing anything or nothing as in you had not eaten anything?” SinB asks for confirmation.

”Yes, and yes,” Yerin answers SinB’s question somberly.

”Why hadn’t you eat anything? It’s late already. Where are you?” SinB asks, concernedly glances at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

”I’m in your heart. You are not here, so I don’t feel like doing anything, don’t feel like eating.” 

SinB turns onto her stomach, burying her head under the pillow while screaming with a smile on her face. SinB curses herself quietly seeing herself acting foolishly like a teenager talking to her crush.

”Bi?” Yerin asks and once again, SinB grinning happily.

”Hmm,” SinB couldn’t mutter a word as she is busy grinning, holding in her school girl’s giggles.

”Bi? Are you okay? Did they like the desserts? Are you mad at me?” Yerin asks.

”Yes, yes. Yes. They enjoyed them, especially my father. Why aren’t you eating?!,” said SinB.

”Huh? Why are you mad at me? You said they liked them...” Yerin said puffing her cheeks eventhough SinB cannot see her.

”I want to be with someone who can take care of THEMSELVES and ME,” SinB grunts frustratedly.

”I’m up! I’m up! Let’s go grab something to eat,” said Yerin.

SinB immediately sits up hearing what Yerin said accompanied by the ruffling sound, probably due to the woman getting up from her bed. She glances at the alarm clock once again to check the time, calculating and estimating the time Yerin will arrive and the time it will take for them to go out for dinner.

”It’s late, aren’t you working tomorrow?” SinB asks.

”Emm. In the morning,” said Yerin.

”You should rest then, you’ll be too tired tomorrow if you go out,” suggested SinB.

”Uh, okay...”Yerin says with the saddest tone she could muster.

”Let’s order something?” SinB suggests.

”Don’t want to.”

”You have to eat, Yerin. You are working tomorrow,” SinB tries persuading the woman.

”I don’t feel like eating, I’ll just eat tomorrow at the hospital,” Yerin said, plopping back down onto the couch as evidenced by the thumping sound in the background.

”Jung Yerin, get up now. I told you who I want to be with, didn’t I?” said SinB sternly. She patiently waits for Yerin to respond, but she only hears ruffling sounds.

”The noodles are already in the pot with sausages and veggies. Waiting for them to boil before cracking an egg into the pot. You’ll be with me, won’t you?” Yerin finally responded after two minutes SinB had to hear rattling sounds.

”Are you cooking? Is it ramen?” SinB asks to which Yerin responded by singing the song from Akdong Musician, ’is it ramen?’. 

SinB tries hard not to laugh out loud that she snorts that is clearly audible since Yerin stopped singing at the perfect moment. So to cover her embarrassment, SinB has to pretend that it irks her to an extent. She is not going to give Yerin the satisfaction of hearing her hearty laugh that Yerin likes the most.

”Is that all you can cook? And to dream of taking care of another human being...” sneered SinB.

”Kimchi fried rice, kimchi jiggae, ramen porridge. I can cook those as well. So, will you marry me?” Yerin asks coolly.

SinB was taken aback by Yerin’s coolness and how charismatic she sounded when asking her to marry her solely based on her ability to cook that three food. By the way, she likes all three menus and truth be told, she was captivated by it for a second and almost said yes!

”Should someone be okay by eating those for the rest of their life?” SinB asks, hinting Yerin her semi-acceptance of the woman’s proposal.

”Let’s list out what we want to eat and we will learn to cook them together, shall we?” 

SinB’s face turns a shade darker than it already was. Now, she is completely red. It caught her by surprise that her tongue got all froze up, not able to utter a word. Ever since Yerin asked her to marry her, she always used the word ’we’ and ’us’, and that always got her. Her heart always skips a beat when she heard that. There is someone who wanted to be with her, who is willing to do everything together with her, without being asked to, and she loves that. And that was one of the reasons she fell in love with Yerin.

”Bi?” Yerin softly calls SinB’s name.

Before SinB could answer Yerin’s call, her phone screen light up with a green button saying Yerin is requesting to change the call to a video call. SinB straightens up her hair and sits up, leaning to the bed’s backrest before tapping the green button, revealing a smoking bowl.

”Yerin?” called the dumbfounded SinB.

”I don’t want to eat alone, can you accompany me?” Yerin flashes a hopeful smile and it melted SinB’s heart that her head automatically nodding.

”I might not know how to cook lots of things yet, but I sure can make ramen looks good, didn’t I?” Yerin smiles proudly and SinB just nods her head in agreement.

It does look good and it is making her craving for a bowl of ramen. SinB can’t deny that Yerin does make a delicious ramen, although she only has had it once, it was one of the best she ever tasted. She believes Yerin has a knack for cooking, but not her.

”Looks good, I suddenly craving for one. And you do cook a tasty ramen, but don’t just eat ramen. Shouldn’t you eat healthier? It’s Saturday, why didn’t you just go back to your parents?” asked SinB while trying her best to avoid Yerin’s penetrating gaze.

Yerin slurps the noodles not-so-graciously, but appetisingly before even attempt to answer her question. The ramen looks scrumptious that SinB almost drooling over it. SinB is not sure whether the ramen really looks good or it’s just her eyes are full of love that everything she sees right now relating to Yerin is great.

”I should. Maybe you can cook for me to make sure I eat healthier? And I’m working in the morning, so I don’t like leaving my parents’ house early in the morning. I don’t like going to work when I’m home. Yerin no likey...” Yerin explains in between slurping the instant noodle, pouting, talking cutely like a child.

”You are such a baby. You’ve been working for years now. Emm, cooking... I don’t know how to?” SinB smiles sheepishly.

”You can cook me anything, I will eat it and I am sure that I will love it,” Yerin lifts up the bowl and gulps down some of the soup.

”Water. I can fill up the water heater and boil it for you. Uh, and pour the hot water into the ramen’s cup,” said SinB shyly.

”That’s it?” Yerin asks in amazement.

”Yes. Do you still want to marry me then?” SinB asks warily.

”I will marry you if you’ll have me. Water is good and healthy for us. No calories. Helps with our brain function and constipation. I can always cook for us, tell me what you want and I’ll try and learn how to cook or finds the best place that serves them. I love you, Bi. Unconditionally,” said Yerin softly and assuringly. 

For the nth time, SinB’s heart melted by Yerin’s truthful, lovely words. She got nothing to say as her heart is about to explode with so much love she receives from Yerin. It seems that Yerin’s love knows no boundary nor condition. This is what she looks for in the person she wants to be in a relationship with, whom she will share and spend her life with. This is why she is a bit unwilling to at least try and learn to accept Jackson’s love as she thinks it is her mother’s calculated move rather than because of love itself.

SinB just stares at the small screen featuring Yerin happily finishing the bowl of ramen -slurping, sipping and gulping its content. Suddenly, she feels guilty. If only Yerin knows what people are talking about her and how skewed everything is from the real one. And at one time, she too was one of those people. 

”Why are you staring? Miss me? Should I drive there?” Yerin asks in all seriousness.

”Huh? No, no. You don’t have to. It’s late already and you have a morning shift tomorrow. Are you going straight from home to the hospital or do you have someplace to stop by on your way?” SinB asks, suddenly thought of what Irene told her earlier.

”It’s not that late, Bi. I’m picking up Irene tomorrow on the way to the hospital,” said Yerin, looking at SinB concernedly as SinB is looking sombre all of the sudden.

”Bi?” Yerin calls SinB, but receives no response, just a woman looking right pass her.

SinB gets lost in her thoughts. Her conversation with Irene earlier comes back to her mind.

**

”Who is Jackson?”

Irene asked her about Jackson and she just told her the truth. She told Irene that Jackson is her aunt’s nephew that her mother adores so much and has already decided to marry her off to. 

”That’s what mom wants, though,” said SinB, taking a big gulp of the tea to calm her nervousness that suddenly enveloping her.

”And what do you want? Who is Jackson to you? He seems comfortable and close with you,” Irene asks with a face clearly showing an uncomfortable look.

SinB chuckles as she heard Irene’s question. What does she want? That’s a question she always asks herself and wouldn’t dare to find the answer especially relating to her love life that apparently has been set out for her. Her chuckles halted immediately as Irene raised her eyebrows, glaring at her quizzically. 

”Jackson is just a family friend? It’s been almost ten years since mom decided that he and I should be together. He is pretty close to mom and we are comfortable with each other,” explained SinB.

Irene’s eyebrows quirk disbelievingly. SinB stares at her fidgeting fingers, waiting patiently for Irene to say what she has in her mind that if she has to guess will be something related to Yerin. 

”You and Yerin...”

And there it is. After an excruciating minute of silence, Irene finally spill out what SinB has been expecting to hear. SinB stays frozen at her chair.

”What are you two?” Irene asks.

SinB stays frozen in her place. Not moving an inch. She doesn’t know what to say or do. The combination of Irene’s cold aura and question keep her in place.

”Don’t lead her on if you have no intention of being with her,” warned Irene with fiery eyes.

SinB is offended by the statement implying that she was the one started everything. She even told off Yerin several times but the woman is persistent.

”I didn’t!” SinB objects.

”If she gets hurt this time, I don’t think she can get back to who she is,” said Irene remaining composed, unaffected by SinB’s objection. Her voice and expression loosened up a bit, though.

Irene is genuinely concerned about Yerin and she is not the only one. Sowon and Eunha also share the same sentiment. They had voiced out their concern more than once and from what she had observed and experienced tonight, her concern heightened, leaving her to worry.

Seeing how Irene’s voice and expression softened, keeps SinB mums. She half-understands Irene’s concern. But she can’t fully agree with her because Yerin was the one who started it. 

”I know she pursues you and sometimes she is irresistible. It’s because she loves you. And when Yerin loves someone, she loves them with all of her heart. And from what I saw tonight...”

SinB didn’t let Irene finish her sentence or to be accurate, her accusation and just cuts the older woman. 

”Why are you so concerned about Yerin? You and Yerin, what are you? Do you still love her?” 

”Of course I’m concerned, she is my best friend. And yes, I still do. I love her. She is my best friend, she is my go-to person, she is my advisor, she is-”

”Your everything!” once again SinB cuts Irene mid-sentence, only this time she sounded angry and jealous.

”You are right, she is my everything. So, if anything happens to her, I won’t let the person responsible for hurting her go,” warned Irene, looking right into SinB’s eyes but only for a few seconds before she looks away as her eyes are all teary.

”How could you say that when you are with Dr. Kang? What is your relationship with Yerin, unnie?” SinB asks with a hint of sadness and devastation in her voice.

”I am. I’m with Dr. Kang. Seulgi is my girlfriend whom I love so much. Yerin was my girlfriend. Yerin is my closest and the best friend whom I love dearly, she has been, still is and will always be my friend. Don’t hurt her like I did, please,” said Irene, smiling flatly at SinB while grabbing the younger’s hand, asking for assurance.

SinB stares blankly at the hand grabbing hers. She sighs. Irene is asking for her assurance while she herself is still undecided, while she herself is still unsure of her feelings towards Yerin and also Jackson. 

”Irene honey, you have to work tomorrow morning, we have to go home now.” Mrs. Bae calls for Irene from the living room.

”You are working tomorrow?” SinB asks and Irene nods her head weakly before saying something that SinB still doesn’t know will be a significant factor in helping her realise her feeling towards Yerin.

”Yes, Yerin is picking me up from home.”

**

”Bi...?” 

”Pick me up after you are done tomorrow?” like she is being possed SinB blurted out, coming back from her reverie.

”Huh? Okay,” said Yerin looking confused as ever. ”From your parents’?” Yerin asks for confirmation. 

”Ne,” answered SinB. Yerin smiles widely although it is visible through her expression that she still a bit confused.

”Go to work and don’t flirt with anyone, get your work done quickly and pick me up soon after. Got that?” SinB says with her serious looking expression and voice.

”Yes, sir!” said Yerin while saluting at the camera, grinning happily. 

SinB lets out a hearty laugh upon seeing Yerin’s antics. They both laugh, eyes glued to one another. The two continue talking for another forty minutes. Talking about random things, laughing at Yerin’s antics, SinB blushing at the unexpected praises from Yerin and stealing glances, staring at one another in silence. 

”Good night beautiful. Sleep tight, sweet dream of me,” Yerin said reluctantly after SinB urging her to end the call and go to bed since she has to go to work early in the morning.

”Good night, Yerin-”

”Five more minutes, please?” Yerin cuts SinB for the nth time.

”You said that thirty minutes ago, Yerin-ssi. Now, go to bed. You don’t want to oversleep and get to work late and get off work late and have just a few hours to spend with me, don’t you?” asked SinB in a threatening tone.

”Noooo. Okay, I’m sleeping. I’m sleeping,” said Yerin, follows by pretence snoring.

”Go to sleep. See you tomorrow,” instructed SinB.

”Can you stay with me for another five minutes until I fall asleep?” begs Yerin cutely.

”No, go to sleep. Now!” 

”I don’t want to!” Yerin pouts, hugging her body.

”Yerin-ssi, go to bed. I’m going to bed to-”

”SinB, are you still awake?” a man’s voice calling SinB at the door.

”Ne oppa! I’ll come out in a minute,” SinB shouted back at the door addressing the person knocking on her door. She turns back around and sees on the small screen that Yerin is already sound asleep. A warm smile curved on her face. 

”Sleep tight, sweet dream. I’ll see you tomorrow, my big baby,” said SinB as quietly as possible so to not wake the sleeping Yerin. 

Little that SinB knows, Yerin is actually still awake and having a hard time holding in her scream, cheering happily when SinB wishes her goodnight and calls her ’my big baby’. Yerin is now trembling, trying to control her body from moving when she really wants to jump up and down, kicking and punching the air to celebrate the new nickname she got from SinB.

Just as Yerin thought she could sleep soundly tonight with SinB’s goodnight wishes and a new nickname, SinB just kisses her fingers and gently touches her phone’s camera. And everyone who is not having intellectual disabilities knows the meaning of the action, SinB is giving her a kiss. Yerin nearly lost all her composure at the moment, but luckily SinB disconnects the call soon after.

”Oh yeah!” screams Yerin at the top of her lungs while kicking and punching the air right after her phone’s screen went blank. Yerin jumps up and down on the couch that also serves as her bed. Yerin howls happily.

”She calls me ba-by...she calls me ba-by. I am her ba-by. I am her ba-by...” sings Yerin happily while jumping up and down on the couch.

Yerin forces her eyes to shut while still singing the same lyrics and tunes quietly. She forces herself to sleep because she is too excited to go go work tomorrow and gets off work as early as possible to go pick SinB up from her parents’ and go out on a date with her. The song becomes a lullaby, slowly lulling the smiling Yerin to sleep.

****

”Someone is happy this morning,” said Irene as soon as she sits in the passenger’s seat of Yerin’s car.

Yerin flashes a toothy grin at Irene and continues singing the infamous line from Justin Bieber’s song ’Baby’. She turns around and leans forward to reach for the passenger’s seat seatbelt. 

”Are you sure you still want to do this?” Irene asks, referring to Yerin’s action.

”Huh? Why do you ask? You don’t stop me from doing it or even doing it yourself,” Yerin carefully pulls the seatbelt and buckles it.

”Nothing. Just asking. Shouldn’t you stop doing it if you are courting someone? Wouldn’t she be jealous?” explains Irene in a questioning form because she doesn’t want to dictate Yerin’s behaviour and action.

”Ahhh, do you mean SinB? I don’t think it would be a problem. I do this with you and Eunha too. I tried with Sowon but we both feel uncomfortable when I did that. I tried with SinB as well, but she didn’t like it, so I stopped doing it to her,” said Yerin unaffected with Irene’s concern.

Irene just smiles and nods her head, not wanting to drag the issue anymore since she knows Yerin is the type of person would take this matter lightly. She always said the most important thing is her love for the woman she loves at the time and not the feeling she used to have towards her ex-girlfriends or the remaining feelings she might or might not have towards them. What matters for her, the present not the past.

Yerin works with a brighter and wider grin than the ones she has every single day before. It’s all because she can’t wait to get off work to see the woman she crazily in love with. Every cases come in, she treats them with a big smile on her face, but it doesn’t make her soft as the interns expected. She still the same good trauma surgeon she is that is responsible to try and help save the patient they wheel into her trauma bay while teaching the next generation of doctors to do the same, whether she is happy or sad. That’s what she supposed to do. But, to have someone she loves waiting to meet her at the end of the day, it makes everything a whole lot wonderful and meaningful.

Duckie’s Future Wifey Bi <3: Bi, I’m leaving the hospital, be there in 30.

Yerin messages SinB right before she drives away from the hospital. A few seconds after, she receives a reply from SinB, just a simple okay. Just that word brings a tonne of happines to Yerin. The smile on her face never wears off since this morning and the first time she communicates with SinB today, makes the smile wider thay it almost numbing Yerin’s face, but she doesn’t care. 

After thirty minutes, and more than 100km/h driving, more like racing, Yerin arrives in front of the same big house she went yesterday. She parks on the other side of the road in front of the house and dials SinB’s number. She doesn’t want to just ring the bell and shows up in front of the door unannouced, SinB’s parents might not know about her and probably it will cause SinB some troubles. 

“I’ll be right out,” SinB’s voice fills the car.

”Bi, do you want me to get you at the door?” Yerin asks, still smiling dreamingly.

“No! Stay in the car. Stay where you are. I’ll come out, see you in a bit,” SinB half-screams at the phone before disconnecting the call.

Yerin just shrugs her shoulder and waits in the car patiently. Every few seconds she turns to look at the big, tall gate. After her neck nearly get cramps due to repetitive turning right and left, the gate finally swings open. Yerin opens the door to get the door on the other’s side for SinB like she usually does. But, before she could step out of the car, her phone rings.

”What are you doing? Where do you think you are going?” SinB’s high pitch voice screaming hits Yerin’s eardrum startling her, halting her movement.

”To get the door for you as usual?” responded Yerin while looking straight at SinB who just appears in the middle of the moving gate.

”Don’t! Stay in the car. You don’t have to get the door for me. Please, this time only.” SinB’s voice softens until it sounded like she is begging and that is very rare for SinB making Yerin obliged.

Yerin stays put in her seat but still opens the door for SinB from the inside. Yerin takes a glance at SinB’s parents’ house and spotted someone is peeking through a small gap of the curtain on the second floor. She cannot clearly see the person as the person is hiding behind the curtain. 

”Hey, Bi,” Yerin greets the serious looking SinB happily.

”Hi, Yerin. Let’s go, shall we? We don’t want to get stuck in the traffic,” SinB greets back before quickly buckle the safety belt and gestures Yerin to start driving.

Yerin follows SinB’s instruction and drives away without asking anything. They decided to go to the mall to grab some dinner before head back home. Yerin lets SinB choose the restaurant. Yerin is smiling dreamingly ever since SinB step into the car. She keeps on smiling even when SinB questions her why and ask her to stop. She cannot do it, even if she hasn’t tried to, but she believes she wont be able to do it if she tries. 

They walk side by side in the mall in no particular direction, just to kill some time before dinner since they are still full from eating snacks on their way here. There was a little traffic, SinB had to go to the toilet, so they stopped by at a petrol station. SinB came back from the toilet not only feeling relieved for she has been holding in the pee for quite some time, but the younger woman also brings back a plastic bag filled with snacks. They munch on the snacks as if they were their dinner and had a full stomach when they arrived at the mall where they are supposed to have dinner.

Yerin is more than joyful when SinB asked if they can walk around the mall first before dinner because she was still full. Yerin already visioned what she will try and do while they are strolling around the mall, that is - holding SinB’s hand. She is positive she will be able to do it based on what happened yesterday when they went to the other mall for lunch. She has a good feeling that she can do the same although yesterday her hand was left cold in the air when she held out for SinB to take. But, later on, SinB was the one grabbing her hand to hold while they were walking. That means SinB has opened her heart for her and is ready to engage in physical contact with her - or so she thought.

Yerin calculated the angle, the speed, and she moves her hand forward stealthily and smoothly to slips her fingers through SinB’s, but just as her fingers touch SinB’s, the younger swings her hand forward. She looks for another opening and she goes in full swing, SinB swerves right and goes straight into a store selling clothes. People in the mall might think Yerin has a movement disorder or something as she keeps flailing her hand when her attempts to hold SinB’s hand, repeatedly failed miserably. Yerin heaves a long, defeated sigh. She keeps her hand in her jeans’ pockets to prevent herself from keep trying and ends up looking like an air dancer or tube man that usually being put up in front of stores for promotional purpose, flailing her arms in the air like she just doesn’t care. 

The dinner went smooth. They didn’t argue and even though Yerin had an inkling to reach for SinB’s hand that was rested on the table, she managed to fight the urge to avoid any awkwardness might arise if it fails. Yerin and SinB devour the food they ordered, exchange a bite or two with each other while talking about their day. It is mostly the same for Yerin since she was working. But, SinB shares stories about her older brother and Yerin couldn’t stop smiling, feeling like she is someone close and important to SinB that the younger shares such personal matters with her. 

The most dreaded moment for Yerin has come. She purposely moves her body as slow as she can as if the video is being played in slow motion. She doesn’t want to part with SinB but there is no way she can keep the beautiful woman by her side all the time. Yerin drags her feet limply along the mall from the restaurant to the car park. Every meter the car moves away from the mall and moving towards their apartment building is tormenting Yerin to the core. Once in a while, Yerin pouts her lips, sulking to no one, just to express her unwillingness and dissatisfaction with the situation.

After a minute driving - figuratively, they arrive at their apartment building. Yerin nearly turn back and keep on driving to nowhere when she saw the apartment complex but talk to herself not to do anything crazily stupid that might cost her the relationship with SinB that has just beginning to bloom. She parked the car in the designated bay and sits still without showing any intention of getting off the car. She let the engine runs and stares into space. 

Suddenly, SinB puts her hand on top of her hand that she rested on the handbrake. Then, SinB slips her fingers in between hers, interlacing their fingers.

Whaatt!! Is this for real? Is she really holding my hands?

She flusteredly thinks in her mind, questioning herself of the realness of what is happening right now. She stares at the intertwined hands of hers and SinB without blinking. She looks at them and then looks at SinB’s face. SinB is smiling warmly at her causing a warm, fuzzy feeling in her heart. She can’t believe what is happening. She smiles back at SinB. At least, that’s what she believes her brain is ordering her facial muscles to do so.

Hold her hand back. Squeeze her fingers in yours. Caress her hand with your thumb. 

Yerin stares at her hand and how it disappointingly disobey her command. Of all the moments her brain and mind choose to not listen to her command is right now, where it is crucial for her to reciprocate to SinB’s action. Yerin cusses her hand in her mind.

This is the chance, you idiot! This is a matter between loving and loved by someone; and live forever alone. Move, you five-short-bony-and-muscly figures! Please, please, you beautiful five-long-bony-and-muscly figures, please don’t let us live only to use against ourselves...

To no avail, Yerin’s changing from urging to begging is still being unresponded by her exceptionally skilled brain and muscles. She looks at SinB, stares at her lovingly that shade of pink appears across the younger’s cheeks. It gives Yerin a slight ray of hope that she still has a chance to show her feelings for SinB, and working with her lips has been one of her fortes. 

Alright! Come on, you know the drill. Leans in slowly. Look into her eyes. Then slowly traces her beautiful face down to her lips with your eyes. Leans in a bit more and smiles. Leans in for the last time, tilts to the right, just a bit, and gently places your lips onto hers. Purse your lips a bit. 

Yerin looks at SinB and somehow the distance between them is still the same. By her calculation and experience, she should already claim SinB’s lips by now. But now, they are still visible in her eyes, meaning it is still standing alone without her lips in between them. Yerin bites her inner lips, it hurts, a sign that she still could move and her sensation is still intact.

”Can you unlock the door, please?” asked SinB in between frustrated sigh and discontented grunt. 

”Huh? What? Where are you going?” Yerin asks,  trying to grab SinB’s fingers that are moving away from hers.

”Home. I’m not planning to go on with this staring contest, that is apparently unfruitful, any longer. I have some work to do for tomorrow. So, can we get off the car and go home already?” said SinB, her gaze changed from a warm, loving one to a fiery one.

”I thought you said you want your first kiss when you are in a relationship?” stutters Yerin, trying to come up with an excuse of her unexpected unresponsiveness.

”Do you need me to spell it out for you?” jeered SinB.

”No. No. I get it. Let’s try again. My body was numb before. But I’m all set now,” said Yerin while slapping her cheeks repeatedly.

”My feelings are numb now,” said SinB with a salty smile.

”Huh? What? Huu...can we start again? Please, Bi?” begs Yerin, taking SinB’s hand in hers.

”No. The ship has sailed. Now, can we go?” SinB takes back her hand, looking out of the window.

”Huu...then when are we going to-?” Yerin looks at SinB with her puppy eyes, beaming hopes as high as a mountain. 

”I don’t know. When I’m in the mood? Can we just go, I’m tired of sitting in the car,” said SinB sarcastically.

”Bi, please. Why are we fighting just a few hours into our relationship? Shouldn’t we be in our honeymoon phase, getting all lovey-dovey?” asked Yerin fidgeting her fingers.

”You lost your chance,” said SinB, pushing the start engine to turn off the engine and get off the now unlock car.

SinB walks towards the lift with Yerin on tow. While waiting for the lift, Yerin stretches her hand out to SinB but the latter just look at her without an ounce of enjoyment nor excitement. Yerin holds out her car keys and grins at SinB.

”Here, so you can use the car anytime you want to,” explains Yerin.

”Huh! You were willing to drive me home, pick me up for work when you were trying to get me only. Now that I’ve fallen for you, you won’t even do that, eyh? Tsk,” scoffs SinB.

”Wait, what? No. That’s not why I’m giving you the keys. Bi... I’m going to still do that, honey. This is for you to use if I’m in surgery or whenever you want to use the car without me. What’s mine is yours, Bi,” explains Yerin, and yet SinB still doesn’t take them. 

They both enter the lift. Yerin pushes the button for her floor only and looks at SinB. The woman glares at her causing Yerin flusteredly pushes the button for SinB’s floor.

”I have a spare key at home and in my locker. You know the passcode, you can just take the key there if you want to use the car. Shouldn’t we celebrate our first day together? I have ramen, snacks, soft drinks...” SinB glares at Yerin. ”I’ll take that as a no then.”

Yerin walks SinB to her unit as usual only this time, an awkward silence enveloping them. With a heavy heart and unsettling feeling, they have to part as they already standing in front of SinB’s apartment unit. SinB presses the passcode, Yerin gently grabs SinB by the waist and pulls her closer.

”I know you are angry at me, take your time. Just don’t take too long?” said Yerin softly before planting a kiss on SinB’s forehead. 

”Bye.” SinB gets the door and disappears behind it.

***

”Talk about unlucky! Bow to the master. You really are the epitome of unlucky, Yerin-ah...Hahaha.” 

Sowon’s laugh fills the apartment. Yerin just look at her phone’s screen that is being filled with Sowon laughing her off annoyingly. She couldn’t agree more but it still annoys her to the core.

”Yah! You are no better than me. You are sleeping alone too tonight!” countered Yerin.

”Ah yes. You are right,” said Sowon somberly. Sowon continues, ”ahh, but we can always go out and find some gir-”

Sowon didn’t finish what she is saying, her face turns to white as if all the blood is drained out of it making Yerin turns around to look at what could possibly cause Sowon to be like that. And all hell breaks loose. Standing at the front door are, Eunha and SinB whose faces are far from delighted. Yerin feels like all of her internal organs are crushed together. 

Sowon sends a text message to Yerin while still frozen on the video call with Yerin.

We. Are. Doomed.

Yerin just nods her head weakly, agreeing with Sowon.