From minutes to hours, hours to days, days to weeks.

Two weeks. That was how long jungkook had never seen the pretty boy. That was how long he never went back. Jimin’s novels that he never brought away with him was jungkook’s only company. He would always re-read everyone of them. To trace his fingers on the papers so ever gently, occasionally smiled at those cursive writings scattered all over the pages. Reading them made him feel like reading jimin’s journals. Flipping over every page of his life.

Jimin, tell me, why am I still holding on?
When I am supposed to let go, and still I wait. Like puddles in the summer, slowly starting to evaporate, and praying for the rain. You said you wouldn’t want me to leave, I obeyed. Now you have grown tired of me, I understand. I would do anything for you, give it up for you, always there for you. I am not supposed to miss you, I am not supposed to care. But why am I still hanging on the resentment? Why am I such a coward? Maybe you are right jimin, I am completely useless, I did nothing but to hurt the both of us. I was the one who kept playing ignorant, kept forcing our fate, pushing us to the limits, until both of us fell off the cliff. I am sorry for being so selfish jimin, I should have let go, to protect you from falling. Why didn’t I realise? Why didn’t you push me away from the very beginning? Did you survive the fall my love? Have you got up and run away? Go away jimin, stay away from me. I am too vicious, falling for me is like falling into a goblet on fire. I never wanted but your heart, that is gone, you have nothing more to give. Nothing more, you broke the spell.

The goblet burnt, leaving the smell of heartbreak in the air.

☆☆☆

From behind, he heard the creaking of the heavy door, startled, he dropped the book in his hand.

“Did I scare you?” the doctor tried to hide his laughter.

“Please at least try to knock. I have my own privacy...oh no! There is a dent here!” the brunette exclaimed touching the indent on the book.

“It is all your fault!” he turned around and snapped at the doctor who threw his hands up into the air.

“I am sorry but believe me, jimin won’t mind” the name caught the boy’s attention.

“Jimin loves his books”

“He won’t mind when it comes to you” the remark successfully painted a shade of red on jungkook’s cheeks.

“He...we don’t talk anymore...”

“Jungkook, I am here to tell you about jimin”

The boy stood frozen, eyes were as immobile as the rest of his face. He glanced at the doctor through his peripheral vision, trying to search for a certain something. He wished he couldn’t, but he found them. Worries and frets. So impossible to omit. He gulped and tried to calm his racing heart. Something he would always do when he was around jimin. Same action, different sensation.

“What about jimin?” he piped out, voice taut and breathy.

“Jimin, he had his bone marrow transplant two weeks before”

Jungkook stared at him, eyes widened, mouth agape.

“He told me to tell you he is sorry, but I didn’t. He doesn’t have to, it was not his fault, it was none of your fault” the doctor paused and inhaled sharply. “But jungkook, jimin he...jimin he is...” he paused again and slumped his shoulders. Watery eyes were blinking furiously.

“What’s with jimin? What’s with him?” jungkook’s lower lip quivered as words fell off his mouth.

He waited but nothing came. Slowly, he approached the doctor who had his eyes shut. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he fought back his tears. It was solemn. They had fell into the blue side, swirling in the emotions, the gravity was dragging them deeper, there was no breaking free. Jungkook was more than afraid. He was scared of what was awaiting him. He refused to hear them, refused to face them, refused to accept them.

“He is what? What happened to him? Why are you not saying anything? Why are you only telling me now? Why? I don’t believe you! Don’t tell me anything I don’t want to hear them! Get out! Go away! Now!”

The brunette had lost all his sanity, face twisted and shrieked with a wobbly voice. He couldn’t stand it, he refused to believe any words coming from the doctor. He gathered all his strength to push the middle aged man, trying to expel him out of the room.

“No! Jungkook listen to me!” the doctor stumbled and grabbed jungkook’s arms to steady himself. “Jimin is still here! He is still here!” he couldn’t help but yelled back. The boy went still and raised his tear-streaked face.

“We thought the transplant was a success. There was not a single mistake, everything went smoothly. That was until...until jimin got an infection” his hands slid down jungkook’s arms and dropped to the sides.

“Where is jimin?”

The spectre of grim loomed around them.

“The intensive care unit in west wing”

Jungkook’s body wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears.

Today my forest is dark. The trees are sad and all the butterflies have broken wings.