Jungkook was pacing back and forth in jimin’s room.

He didn’t expect the absense of the boy. Jimin had been constantly went missing, almost too frequent. Every morning after waking up, jungkook couldn’t feel the warmth of the boy he treasured, all that he could reach was just the white pillow. Jimin was always afraid of the crowd, always too vulnerable to the wind, he couldn’t go any further without someone staying by his side, without someone holding his hand, circling their arms around him. It was strange, too strange. The brunette was so near to asking where he had been, but the eye smile would always tug at his heartstrings, making his mind spin, swallowing back every words about to slip out, forgetting everything but the beautiful boy in front of him. Perhaps, jimin just needed a walk, away from this suffocating place, away from the reeking pharmaceuticals. Perhaps, jimin just needed some time to clear his clouded mind, some personal space to stay away from everyone.

From everyone, was jungkook included in jimin’s everyone? Was jungkook just an outsider like the rest? A million of questions ran through his mind, the more he thought about it, the more insecure he was.

Jungkook rebuked himself for his overthinking, trying to shrug off the notions that clung onto him like a leech. How could he doubt jimin? How could he question his feelings when jimin had no one but only him? But who was he trying to lie to? It was obvious that the smaller had been avoiding him, pleading him not to interfere, struggling to run away from his grasp. It left jungkook breathless, crashing to the ground in frustation, trying to laugh it off but ended up sobbing in the dark.

Jimin stepped into the room silently, face void of expression, the stars in his eyes had long gone.

Jungkook smiled at him, he was falling, but he couldn’t resist his beauty.

“Where did you go jimin? I was so worried about you. Wake me up next time won’t you?”

“It is fine. I am a grown up, I can handle things by myself. I shouldn’t keep depending on everyone. I need to learn”

Jungkook shivered, not from the wind gushing through the window, but from jimin’s tone colder than the remnant of the snow.

“It is good seeing you becoming more independent and brave, jimin. But tell me if you need anything. I am always here for you”

“I need nothing. And jungkook you should go back to your room. Your doctor might going to have a check up on you anytime. You shouldn’t disappear just like that”

“I am not having any check up today and I am clear of my schedule, I will go back in time when I am going to have one, so jimin...”

“But I have. So can you please leave? I don’t want to have any disruption” jimin cut him off and casted his gaze on the ground. His eyes darkened.

Jungkook paused and sighed. “Can’t I stay jimin? I just want to stay by your side, to be there to hold you when you are afraid. Will you allow it jimin? Will you?”

“No” so cruel, so brutal, so vicious that it penetrated through jungkook’s heart.

“Jimin” jungkook took up all his courage to walk towards the boy. He took his hand in his, running his thumbs across the back of it and interlocked their fingers. “Tell me, what’s wrong? Why are you acting like this? Did I do something? Whatever reason it is, I will listen to you, I promise” he drew jimin close, showered him with kisses, whispered sweet nothings into his ear.

Jimin was so close to falling into the trap, he was clamping on the verge, body swaying, legs dangling. He knew his hands wouldn’t have the strength to support himself for long, he needed to escape as soon as possible, to set himself free.

Gathering up all his strength, he pushed jungkook aside causing the both of them to stumble backwards. “Please leave jungkook, please” he struggled with his sadness, but tried to conceal it, to divide it into smaller and smaller parts and scatter them in places he thought no one would find them.

“Jimin!” jungkook was getting edgy. He trudged to the trembling boy and gripped onto his wrist so harshly that it would definitely leave a mark.

“What are you doing?! Let go of me!” jimin was trying to pry off his hand but jungkook was much more stronger. It was impossible for jimin to loosen the grip.

“You know what?” he gave up trying. “My mum was right when she asked me to stay away from you. She was right when she said you will only bring me harm. She was always right. I am too stupid to get close to someone like you jungkook. You did nothing but hurting me” his voice sounded more pained than anything.

Jungkook let go of his wrist and was about to place his hands on jimin’s shoulders until the teary boy backed away hurridly, back hitting the rim of the bed.

“Jimin, I...” jungkook’s mind was a mess, his head was throbbing uncontrollably, the hurt was a spider web, intricate, yet so strong. He tried to catch his breath.

“I...I am sorry if I hurt you. But it is because of I am afraid jimin. I am so afraid of you pushing me away. How can I lost you? How can I not care about you? If I ever did anything wrong please tell me, jimin. I will change, I can always change jimin, just for you”

At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss.

“Jungkook” jimin looked into his eyes. Those black orbs were reflecting how his heart died a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves, until one day there were none. No hopes. Nothing remained.

“I don’t love you. I never do”

Jungkook’s heart felt as if his blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. His melancholy mood hung over him like a black cloud, raining his personal sorrow down on him. The colours of the spring faded, like a piece of snowflake, jimin floated in the air, getting farther every passing second, until there was nothing left for jungkook to grasp.

Jungkook let out a small chuckle “What are you talking about jimin? I don’t joke like that. Should we change...”

“I never love you. Believe it or not, I never do” jimin had a stoic expression on his face. He dropped his gaze to the floor.

Jungkook refused to believe his remark. “Jimin, why are you lying? Why must you hurt the both of us this way?” his eyes glistened with tears, fists clenched, nails digging into his flesh. But how could he feel the pain when his heart was breaking?

“Why won’t you understand jungkook? We are not compatible. We are so different. We can’t pressure each other. We won’t end up being happy with a forcing fate!” jimin was practically snarling, face flushed, voice stern.

“You are so bad in lying jimin” jungkook smiled through his tears. It was too gloomy, like a somber potrait of life.

It was too much. The built up emotions was swallowing jimin, nipping at his heart, throwing him off a cliff. The wall finally crumbled, he laid in the debris, sadness and sorrow.

Jimin fell to his knees, hands covering his face, tears dripping onto the floor through the cleft of his fingers, body shuddering vigorously.

“Jimin” jungkook knelt by his side, stretching out his arms to embrace the boy, holding him as if he was the most fragile thing on earth.

“Jimin, jimin, my beautiful jimin, don’t ever hurt yourself. Don’t ever say aything that would make you cry, never say them. It is okay if you want me to go away, it is okay if you don’t forgive me. But jimin, don’t break yourself my love, don’t ever do so because it is the only thing that will tear me apart. Jimin, you are always so beautiful, always so lovely, and I would never get tired of telling you that, never” jungkook tightened the hug, wishing to never forget the warmth of his pretty boy, to always hear his shallow breathing, to always feel the pulsing of his heart.

“Jimin, it is alright to break my heart, break it a thousand times if you like, it is only ever yours to break anyway. Nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you”

For the last time, he craned his neck and planted a kiss on jimin’s temple. So tender. So affectionate.

“I love you, jimin. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, I love you. Always” and he left without a goodbye.

Hugging his knees close to his chest, jimin howled out a cry in agony.

Don’t leave me here alone. Don’t go where I can’t follow.