Merry Christmas, my lovely people!

And please enjoy this double update. It got a bit longer than other chapters while I wrote this one so I had to separate them into two parts.

It's 2:30 am in my country but I am not sleeping yet. I am writing a bonus chapter for Christmas and New year. ;) 

“When are you planning to tell me what all this is about?” Ilhoon is finding answers of what exactly he should say to all the questions that his mother has been asking or let’s call it yelling.

“And how could you even think that not telling me this for the rest of your life will solve all the problems?” another question has been thrown at him. Well, it’s not a question, it’s more of a blame and a yelling than just a question.

Until now, he’s been feeling like he got hit by a car but instead of a car, it’s just the series of all the things that he did not see coming.

Hyunsik kissing him and his mom seeing him kissing, he really wishes both didn’t come together but God must hate him that much. It’s like a cold wind hit his face hurtful enough that he couldn’t do anything but close his eyes.

“You are not seeing him again anymore.”

“What? No!” He regrets that he shouted when he saw the look on his mother’s face from the sudden response.

“You are not seeing him again. Don’t make me repeat for thousand time.”

“But mom...”

“He seems older than you. And I know he is not your friend, never heard of him. There is no way that you can meet if you just go to school and come back straight to your home.”

“Y-you can’t make me do it.” Ilhoon does not even have any idea where all this talking-back-to-your-mother courage is coming from. But he does know that he can’t stop seeing Hyunsik. It’s a complete cruelty to his life.

“And quit your part-time job tomorrow.”

“No!”

“Ilhoon, listen to me. You will never see him again and that’s it. Now, go to your room and study. Your college exams are coming next month.”

He looks at his mother who is very shaky, he can tell. It’s all his fault for being gay, or yeah, whatever if that’s what his mom wants to blame him for. But he can’t stop seeing Hyunsik. He just can’t.

But then he looks at his mother again just to see the tears flowing down on her face and somehow, he felt like it is the blame he should take.

Sorry is a word that people use daily for some inconveniences happen in our daily lives but Ilhoon couldn’t bring himself to tell his mother that he is sorry for making her feel sad, not just that night...also the next day.

“So... you will stop seeing him?” Sungjae asked after listening to Ilhoon.

“I-I don’t know...”

“What do you mean you don’t know? Hyunsik must probably be worrying about you right now. I heard he is calling Changsub hyung for like ten times last night.” the younger shows him the messages that Changsub sent to Sungjae last night asking him how Ilhoon is and telling him Hyunsik is going crazy.

It weirdly makes Ilhoon happy, seeing Hyunsik like this, being crazy about him.

“And where is your phone? We all called you last night.”

“My mom took it.”

“What? So, you are not even allowed to use your phone anymore? But you are a college student.” He knows that pity look Sungjae gives him. He shrugged his shoulders as he picks up his bag.

“I know. But I feel like I owe her for everything that I have done.” He s