EIGHTEEN

LUHAN

After my clarification, a lot of the rumors died down. Yes, there were those adamant fans that refused to believe my apology, but the majority started to say how it was all a misunderstanding, and that they’d jumped to conclusions too fast.

And thank god for that… some of those comments were far too harsh…

Xiulei didn’t see them, right? She didn’t ever mention it...

In my gut, though, I knew that despite her silence, she did see, did remember. She just never said anything, always choosing to quietly let things sit and rot in the pit of her stomach instead of making a scene.

If you weren’t an idol, this wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand. Being friends with her only hurts her, don’t you see that?

That very thought refused to leave my head, lodging itself in there through the rest of winter, then spring, and finally into summer. Now, in the heat of a July night, as I pull on a simple white t-shirt and cover my mouth with that black face mask, the thought sticks itself firmly at the back of my throat. I try to shake it away.

Tonight is your last time seeing Xiulei before she leaves for America. Get a grip.

As I stare at my reflection in the mirror, I allow myself a wry grin. Looking back over the past year, I think of how much Xiulei had changed since that night on the rooftop. How she’d started talking more, joking more, laughing more. How, after I told her to try opening up, she’d made friends with the girls at YCIS, and then worked hard towards the goals she had once put aside, forgotten. How she’d gotten accepted to her dream college in America as a result.

She’s so strong… she’ll be fine, even if she’s an ocean away.

Somehow, the thought is tinged with nostalgic sadness. She won't have to lean on you again. I knew I'd miss the feeling of her arms around me, needing me to support her.

Still... it's best if she doesn't have to cry anymore.

Pulling out my cell phone, I watch the screen light up with the time. One forty four am. Grabbing my cap, I make a beeline for the hotel room door. We’d agreed to meet below her mom’s apartment at two, and I still wasn’t sure of where that even was. You're so screwed.

While pulling up the address she’d given me on the elevator down, I see Lao Gao’s message pop up on the screen. “Don’t sleep too late; I still don’t know why the heck you decided to stop in Fuzhou when you have a concert in Guangzhou like two days later, but you BETTER NOT get sick before it. Got it?” I grin wryly. Leave it to him to sound like my mother.

Hailing down a taxi was surprisingly easier than expected, even this late at night; maybe it was because the media didn’t know I was here, so there weren’t crowds of fangirls at the hotel’s lobby. Getting into the backseat, I show the driver the address. He smiles, and I see the wrinkles around his eyes in the rearview mirror.

“Going to see a girlfriend?” He grins at me knowingly. I feel my face flush involuntarily.

“N-no, no! Just… my little sister. She lives in this city, and… uh… I’m here for a business trip, so I thought might as well.” I offer him a little laugh.

“Alright then.” The driver chuckles. “If you say you’re visiting your sister at two in the morning… okay...” He raises his eyebrows, giving a good natured implication. My ears redden at the thought.

After fifteen minutes of driving, the taxi pulls over under a lamppost outside of a small alleyway-like-street. The light flickers ominously as I give my fare and step out onto the cracked pavement. Looking around, I see a small figure sitting against the wall of an old shop, its windows cracked and broken open, its insides deserted. She stares down, her face lit aglow by her phone screen.

Approaching from behind, I tiptoe softly over to her, trying not to make a sound. One… two… three...

“Boo!”

Xiulei jumps up, open in a half-scream. She stops when she sees me, placing a hand over her chest. “The hell, LUHAN! That’s NOT something you do to a girl after midnight!” She pouts comically, and then punches me in my arm.

“Owww… aish, for a girl, you have a big hit. And a strong fist.” I laugh, rubbing at my elbow. “Plus, I thought that since you’re now officially eighteen and college-bound, you’d be a little braver. Who knew you still got jump-scares, yeesh.”

Xiulei turns to me, fuming. “Wei! As a twenty nine year old, I figured you’d be less childish.” She rolls her eyes. “Besides, you’re always in that black mask and cap; if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were some creepy stalker out to get girls at night.” She grins impishly, sticking out her tongue.

I ruffle her hair. “You never grow up, do you?” I laugh.

She smiles, but even in the dark I know it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m going to have to. America’s far away.”

I bite my lip, trying not to think about it, about her being such a distance away for the first time in two years. Somehow, I’d gotten accustomed to her being in the same city, in the same country, at most just a flight away. Not a whole ocean.

“Enough of the sad talk." She grimaces as if the words left a sour taste in . "You hardly have time nowadays, with all those concerts you’ve been flying to. We’ve got to make the most of this.” Xiulei laughs, pulling on my arm to follow her as we walk towards the main road. “Let’s go see if that tea-and-juice store, CoCo, is still open... since you’re the superstar that’s making so much, you can treat me to something cold. And then tell me about how the concert in Shanghai went.”

We talk and joke all the way to the small CoCo shop at the corner, seeing its orange and white logo glowing brightly among all the other neon signs. The cashier at the register smiles at us, blushing when she meets my eye. 

“Hi, welcome to CoCo. You guys arrived just in time, we were about to close. Um… what would you like to drink?” She looks at me pointedly, and then winks. I scratch at the base of my neck, embarrassed at her attention. If she's gonna be like this the entire time, I don't think I can handle it....

“Um… a Nai Cha, please, with the pearls and ice. Large.” Xiulei says, and then turns to me. “What about you?” An idea pops into my head.

“What, I can’t share with you?” I pout behind my mask, and then let my arms surround her waist, trapping her against the counter. I lean in closer and say in a low voice, “I’m trying to save my wallet here; another drink would cost more, and you can’t possibly finish a large.” I laugh as she smacks me again, trying to escape from her new little prison.

“F-fine, fine, your stupid wallet is more important than me, I see how it is.” She huffs, cheeks red. She rolls her eyes. “Just the large Nai Cha, then. Because this guy is so stingy.” The cashier girl shoots me a disappointed look, and then replaces it with a laugh.

“You’re lucky to have such a conservative boyfriend. And he looks so handsome, even behind that mask… his voice even sounds like that idol’s… what was his name? Oh yea, Luhan’s!” She sighs, and then grins. “You guys are really cute together. I’m jealous.”

She fell for it. I smirk, looking at Xiulei’s face turn a rosy pink in the glow of the white light from the shop. Cute. The thought pops out in spite of myself.

“W-wait, we aren’t-”

“I’m glad you think that way.” I cut her off before she could blow my cover, smiling at the cashier while pulling Xiulei closer, an arm around her shoulder. She stares up at me incredulously, her face full-blown red. I can’t help grinning at her expression. “She’s such a childish girlfriend though, I don’t know what to do with her sometimes.” I pinch Xiulei’s cheek, and she swats my hand away, flustered.

The cashier laughs, handing us the Boba milk tea. “All girls are like that. I hope you treasure her!” She waves us goodbye.

As soon as we are out of sight, Xiulei gives me the third punch of the night. At this rate, my arm’s gonna be black and blue before the Guangzhou concert.

“What was that for?” She asks, on the straw of the tea. “Y-you shouldn’t lie to the poor girl like that! She might’ve even been into you, if you gave her the chance instead of putting me up like some sort of er.”

“What?” I ask innocently. “I didn’t want her to have any sort of wrong thoughts about me! Besides, what if she asked for my phone number, how would I turn her down politely then?” I steal the milk tea from her, putting the straw in my mouth. “Mm… this is pretty good. You have good taste.”

Xiulei stares at me, eyes wide. “Th-that’s my straw! Hey!” She protests as I keep .

“Well, the cashier only gave us one straw. And I paid for it, so don’t you think I should get a sip, hmm?” I laugh.

She pouts, then tries to grab the drink from me. “Give it back, you idiot!” I lift my arm higher, grinning when she fails at reaching it, even while on her tiptoes.

“Shortie. You should seriously wear some heels.”

“So. Rude.” She huffs, grabbing onto my other arm and jumping for the drink. “I’ll. Kill. You. After. Thi- ya!” Xiulei loses her balance as she tips forward, tripping over my feet and crashing into my chest.

“Woah there…” I mutter, arms surrounding her waist as if by an unknown command, trying to keep her from falling. Time seems to slow down, the minutes dragging out. Her face rests against my neck and her hair is under my chin, smelling sweeter than shampoo and a thousand times more feminine. Her embrace is soft, not hard or bony like the others I’d experienced while filming drama scenes or MVs. Her breath tickles my ear, which I know is turning dark red. Thump. Thump. The blood rushes to my head.

It feels like both seconds and hours before Xiulei pushes me away, blushing hard. “W-wei!” She stutters, embarrassed. “If you’d given me the drink in the first place, that wouldn’t have happened. G-gosh.” She snatches the cup from my loose fingers. I blink twice, still somewhat caught in the warmth of her arms. When I don’t reply, she waves her palm in front of my eyes.

“Yo, Luhan? You in there?”

“H-huh? Uh… yea! You should be more careful next time. You’re so clumsy.” I roll my eyes to cover up the warmth in my cheeks, trying to snap out of it.

Xiulei snorts, returning the straw to her lips. She promptly continues to walk forward at a freakishly high speed, the heels of her shoes scraping against the asphalt. “Yea, right. Just don’t drink from my straw next time!”

I laugh, trying to catch up to her short but fast-paced strides. “Wait up! Where are we even going?”

“Somewhere where we’re not as much in the open!” She calls back, walking faster. “How about the park? No one goes there at night.” Her voice is high pitched, breathy.

“Alright, but slow down, will you? I’m old, give your bro a break!”