Jungkook stayed over that night, keeping me company and helping me with the eulogy I had to write. I ended up asking Jungkook to do it for me because, for one, I couldn’t write anymore, and for another, I knew I was going to break down while speaking. I’ll go up to the podium with him to give the speech, but I knew that if it wasn’t me, Jinwoo would want Jungkook to do this. He’s never claimed anyone closer to him than me and Jungkook. Well, other than Minhyuk that is, but that’s a given.

It was now the morning of his funeral. I had in my pocket the ring I was going to give him when I proposed. Of course that’s never going to happen now, so I felt it would be best if I gave the ring to his parents. I didn’t know what they would do with the ring, but it was the best option I could think of. I couldn’t keep thinking of the proposal I wanted to do, or else I would go crazy.

Jungkook and Himchan led me up the steps to the church. I clung onto my support cane with one hand, my eyes covered by sunglasses. Himchan was holding tightly onto my free arm while Jungkook gave me directions as I walked. Because this was my first time attempting to walk after getting out of the hospital, I was terrified. I didn’t want to ran into anything.

“Yugyeom,” a voice said, causing me to move my head around to find the source of the voice. It was Jinwoo’s mother. “Oh my god, poor child.”

“Mrs. Park,” Himchan greeted as the woman pulled me into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, baby. You’ve been like a son to me all these years and I didn’t come to visit you after his death. You were there and you were hurt too,” she said. I sighed deeply, not ready to hear any of this. My whole body was shaking as she hugged me. I knew I was about to break down any moment now.

“Mom!” I heard Minhyuk’s sharp voice shout, causing the woman to pull away from me. I shakily put my hand in my pocket, taking out the ring box and reaching forward, expecting Mrs. Park to take it.

“This,” I said, my voice breaking again. I would have dropped the box if someone didn’t take it out of my hands. “I… I was going to propose to Jinwoo this September… I was waiting for the perfect time… I..”

My voice started to waver as more tears appeared in my eyes. I couldn’t continue talking, but she seemed to understand. Everyone was silent, and I sat there with my eyes squeezed shut. I tried to control my breathing, but nothing helped. I let out a soft sob as I thought of Jinwoo once again.

“Honey,” Mrs. Park said again, but that didn’t stop me from crying. “It’s beautiful. We’ll put this in his memorial display.”

I just nodded my head, not sure how to respond to that. I was about to start walking inside, but someone grabbed my wrist. It was her hand again. I recognized the feel. I felt something in my hand. It was a chain. And on the chain was a ring.

“I know you were going to wait till September to propose to him,” she told me, softly. “But he was going to propose to you the night of the accident. He planned it all out for you. He remembered what you said your favorite vacation spot was. He was bringing you there for a moonlight picnic. And he was going to ask you to marry him. I helped him with the food and Minhyuk set up the picnic spot for you guys. They found this ring in his pockets at the hospital. This was his engagement ring for you. And you… You’re the only one who should have this ring.”

Those words are what really made me breakdown. I fell back into the chest of my brother in law, who I knew was behind me. I’ve always known what his embrace felt like, so it wasn’t hard to figure it out as he held onto me. I felt Himchan’s familiar arms wrap around me as I sobbed into his arms. My whole world had already crashed down on me, and now all I got was a constant reminder of what could have been.

“I’m sorry,” Mrs. Park said. I then heard the clink of her heels as she walked away. I took a few moments to calm down. Once I did, I slowly straightened out and nodded at my brother.

“I… Is he in the casket?” I asked, hoping Minhyuk was still there.

“He is,” Minhyuk told me. “But the service is about to start… No one’s allowed up there. They won’t even let me up to the casket.”

“Let’s go inside,” I said, letting the others continue to lead me inside. Himchan kept leading me, telling me how I was in the front row, but he would be sitting right behind me. He informed me that Jungkook would be next to me. I nodded my head and let them help me sit down in my chair.

“Yuggy,” I heard the familiar voice of one of my friends, Jackson, say. His Korean accent was thick and his voice was gruff. I turned my head in the direction of his voice, just as I heard the voices of my other friends as well. The group of six I always hung out with when I wasn’t with Jinwoo were here. They were also my dance group. “Hey, Bam told us everything. I… I’m so sorry.”

“Will everyone stop apologizing?” I asked, feeling annoyed. I hated those words now. I hated hearing it. Cause it meant everything was over. I tightened my hol