I woke up to someone’s arms wrapped around me, their body pressed close to mine. I didn’t need to think twice, as I instantly knew it was Jeon Jungkook. I was trapped in his embrace, so I couldn’t move. But I felt so warm and secure in his hold. I’ve only ever felt this way in Jinwoo’s arms. My heart started beating faster at that thought. I didn’t want to think that way.

I slowly brought my knees up to my chest so I was in fetal position. As I did so, I could feel Jungkook shift next to me. I froze, not wanting to wake him up. But it seemed like it was too late, since he was already moving. Instead of pulling away, however,  he moved closer, tightening his hold around me. My heart was fluttering at his touch, and I seriously wanted to cry. No, I actually started to cry. I hated that I was having this feeling.

“Hey…” Jungkook whispered, his voice laced with worry. “What’s wrong?”

“I hate you,” I whispered back, burying my face in my arms.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been spending alot of time with you,” Jungkook told me. “I’m sorry I was gone when you got home. I didn’t know you would be alone… I didn’t know it would cause a panic attack. I should have warned you that I wouldn’t be home. I’m so sorry.”

I stayed silent, refusing to answer him. That wasn’t the reason I was crying, but I couldn’t tell him that. There was no way in hell I could tell him that the reason I was crying was that there was a possibility that I had feelings for him. I didn’t want to have feelings for him. I still loved Jinwoo. I still missed Jinwoo.

“Please forgive me, Gyeommie,” Jungkook told me. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not mad at you, dummy,” I mumbled, closing my eyes.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, his voice soft. I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t even know where to start.

“Does… Jimin hate me?” I suddenly asked, causing Jungkook to freeze. “It seems like he hates me. He never talks to me. He only spends time with you. And you… You’ve been spending a lot of time with him… And it’s making it hard to like him…”

“Yugyeom… Are you jealous?” Jungkook asked, causing me to sigh and open my eyes again. I didn’t know how to answer that question. Everyone said I was, but I didn’t want to admit it.

“You’re not the first one to suggest that,” I whispered. “I… I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been spending more time with him,” Jungkook told me. “I can assure you he doesn’t hate you. He’s a shy person, and because he’s never really met you, and you never talk to him, he doesn’t know how to open up. He’s scared that you don’t like him… Which you kinda just admitted. I think the two of you should sit down and get to know each other. And I must also tell you, nothing is ever going to happen between me and Jimin. I mean we did have a fling in highschool. But no. I’ve been spending a lot of time with him because he’s about to propose to his boyfriend, Taehyung… and I know how hard of a topic that is for you, so I didn’t want to bring it up. But he doesn’t hate you. And I know I should be spending more time with you. I want to spend more time with you.”

“I… Can I be selfish and have you more to myself?” I asked, feeling my cheeks heat up. “I want you to live your life and not be focused on me… But when you’re not around, I feel so lonely. I shouldn’t be so clingy… But I can’t help it.”

“I’ll allow you to be selfish,” Jungkook told me, causing me to smile softly. I then turned in my bed and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me closer and hugged me back. His embrace felt warm and comforting. “I’ll always allow you to be selfish with me, Yugyeom. I’m here for you. Full heartedly. I’ll drop everything for you.”

“I feel bad, but at the same time, thankful,” I said, burying my face in his chest.

“Don’t feel bad,” Jungkook told me, bringing his hand up to play with my hair. “I want to do this.”

We were silent after that. For the first time ever, I fully breathed in his scent. And I focused on it. He smelt like strawberries, and it made my heart skip. I didn’t want to, especially cause it’s only been a month, but I could feel myself slowly falling for him. I felt so comfortable laying in bed with him like this. I wanted to beat myself up about it, but I couldn’t. I think part of it was because of the speech Minhyuk and Myungjun gave me. They were right. I couldn’t focus on my losse