10:00

Why did he do this? Taemin asked himself over and over when he woke up the next morning. Yes, he had been drunk. But he remembered every detail of their conversation. He remembered Minho’s confused expression as well as how the latter took off in a hurry after staying silent for what felt like hours. Of course, Minho would be startled when he was suddenly confessed to. The autistic man could barely hold up a casual conversation in person.

That morning Taemin called Woosung because he didn’t know who else to talk to. The older wasn’t even slightly surprised when Taemin admitted that he liked Minho. Apparently, it had been pretty obvious throughout the time they knew each other.

“How did you know?”

“Common I am anything but dumb. The way you smiled while reading the letters was the first indicator that I got just a week into the first training period. No one looks at letters from friends that way. Ever since then I was positive that there had to be more than just simple friendship between the two of you. But your face at the discharge ceremony was the final proof I needed. You looked shattered dude.”

Their conversation lasted longer than Taemin had expected it to because Woosung was able to make him talk. Talk in a way he had never talked to anyone about this kind of topic. He completely opened up, telling the other about how they met, how interesting it is to interact with Minho, how smart he is. He reflected upon situations that happened years ago, the bullies, the first meeting and the exchanges letters. After he had caught up on everything, they spent hours analysing the last few interactions with Minho.

Woosung did his job as a good friend, listening to everything attentively while giving advice where it was needed. One question he asked though, made Taemin think.

“Why were you so afraid of telling him? He is human after all. No Alien.”

“He’s different. It took weeks for me to just get him to listen to what I say. I still worry about overwhelming him every second that I talk to him.”

“I don’t know him. But maybe you are underestimating him? You talk about him as if he is some sort of toddler that cannot take care of himself. Which makes the whole falling in love with him slightly strange. Don’t you think?”

“What are you talking about Woosung-Hyung. Never say anything like this again.”

“Besides the point. What I mean is: give the man some credit. As far as I know from what you tell me he is a grown man that can take a hold of his life. So, you should treat him like an equal.”

“But…”

“No buts. Think about it. You will realise that feeling bad about that confession is the worst thing you can do. Man-up Taem. Stand by what you said and let Minho react properly before you apologize. Maybe he will handle it better than you think.”

Taemin thought much about what Woosung had said. At first, he shrugged it off, he didn’t know Minho, so how could he tell if he underestimated him? A few hours later, though, Taemin started wondering if maybe he really did treat him accordingly to his capability.

16:30

He wasn’t supposed to help out at the café that day but Taemin couldn’t stay home. He knew that he had to put things right with Minho and waiting would only overcomplicate the situation.

So, there he was, sitting at the table where the taller would turn up an hour later writing small notes to apologize the circumstances of yesterdays confession and explained his actions. It took him a whole package of sticky notes to write twenty he was happy with. Many he threw into the bin just seconds after starting them – others he rewrote in the last minutes when he was going over them again.

As it got closer to the time Minho would usually arrive at the café, he suddenly got worried that Minho would skip coming here. What would he do if the taller didn’t arrive today? Looking for him in his house was no option, that was creepy and awkward. The library? Taemin kept worrying and only stopped, when a familiar figure approached the café.

17:35

Minho stood in front of the Café.

17:37

Minho still stood in front of the Café debating with himself and Basil if he should enter. Taemin was probably inside and he had no idea how to act when the younger was around. He had never known exactly, but now, he was completely clueless. He knew that he was expected to respond to the confession he had received the day before – every single person who received a confession in his books responded in one or another way.

In his mind he repeated the three options he had been able to find:

Completely ignore that it as if it never happened. This option he crossed out easily. Whenever this option had been chosen by a protagonist, the other person had been confused, hurt and the whole issue was pulled to incredible lengths. He neither wanted to hurt Taemin nor did he want to push the issue further into more complex situations – he barely knew how to handle this one.

Reject him was the second option but seeing how rejection has cost many great character’s deaths or sanity, he was sure that this was not the way to go. Loosing Taemin? He couldn’t imagine how that felt like but even though he knew that the loss of a loved one would not hurt him as much as it was portrayed in the novels, he surely didn’t to go through it. Just the knowledge of the pain was enough to not want to be in a situation where he should experience it.

This left him with the third option, acceptance. He was afraid of acceptance because he didn’t know where it would get him. Would he have to change? Would he have to be intimate with Taemin? Was that part of the deal? Minho wasn’t sure. He believed that to every romantic relationship, intimacy was the key. That’s at least what it seemed like. Intimate relationships were possible without feelings, but a romance required both.

He wouldn’t be able to give him feelings, so maybe intimacy would be enough? Could he even offer Taemin intimacy? He didn’t like it when people touched him per-se. But he wasn’t as afraid of it in the same way he was afraid of conversations.  It was mostly unknown ground for him – people usually stayed away from him anyway and no one ever really initiated physical contact. Therefore, he had no idea if he could tolerate it. Maybe if it was Taemin he could. After all, he was able to have short comfortable conversations with him.

This morning he had consulted Oscar Wilde. The mental debate of how he should approach the situation with Taemin brought him back to his most cherished book. It had all the answers he needed. Was he Basil? Was he Dorian? He wasn’t sure. But there were parallels that he couldn’t deny.

17:40

Taemin watched Minho standing outside of the café, completely still, his eyes focused on the white door. He had been observig him for five minutes now ever since he first spot him. That moment he had been relieved that he followed his schedule, but after a few minutes he started worrying again. Why wasn’t he moving? Minho was standing there like a statue.

17:45

Taemin decided to ask the taller male inside and gently opened the door to not surprise him. While he was doing so, his heart was beating so fast he was afraid his veins would pop from the blood pressure.  

Minho instantly jerked when the door he had been starring at was suddenly opened, but seemed to get a grip easily.

“Hi.” He said, surprising Taemin who didn’t expect any greeting, not for now at least.

“Hi…” he greeted back, the two of them now awkwardly standing in the entrance of the small coffee shop.

“Do you want to come in?” Taemin asked and a few seconds later, Minho nodded, following Taemin’s gesture inside. As always, he tightly hold onto his leather bag as he walked to his usual seat only the atmosphere inside was different. Neither of them said anything while Taemin made a new café latte as the old one was cooled down by now.

Taemin noticed that Minho didn’t take out his books. He didn’t follow his routine. He just sat on the chair, playing with his fingers while starring at them. It worried Taemin to see him like that. Had he made such a big impact that the autistic male changed his habits? That moment he started doubting what Woosung had tried to make him believe. Could he talk to Minho as an equal? He didn’t want to hurt him. He wanted Minho to feel save and appreciated, not overwhelmed and confused.

The coffee was finished and Taemin approached the sitting man in a slow pace, softly setting down the glass on the wooden table when he finally reached it.

“Can I sit?”

“I accept.” Minho answered and Taemin took a seat across the table, watching how Minho still played with his fingers, now inspecting his fingernails.

Taemin was about to start speaking when he was interrupted by Minho, leaving him completely baffled.

“I accept.” He repeated and the younger was instantly confused.

“I know, I already sat down. Thank you.” Taemin said softly, guessing that Minho had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t register that he had sat down.

“That is not what I mean. You know? There is a passage in “The Picture of Dorian Grey” which says: “It is quite true that I have worshipped you with far more romance than a man should ever give to a friend. Somehow I have never loved a woman… I quite admit that I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly.” Do you remember?”

With every word Minho said, his soft and calculated articulation of the English words sending shivers along Taemin’s body. The latter was even more confused now, his eyes wide open because he didn’t know what to make of the situation.

“uhm…. I guess?” He said a little unsure because he couldn’t see the bigger picture of this conversation yet.

“It’s on page 147. A declaration of love from Basil to Dorian.”

Taemin nodded in approval. He remembered and had an uneasy feeling about the future of this conversation.

“Did you know, that when the novel was published as a book, they would censor several scenes, including this one, for as simple reasons as the portrayal of homouality? Your searches for this quote in the book will be in vain, as the ones that are accessible in the library do not contain it. Only yesterday, I was able to realise why I have always preferred and treasured the one magazine edition that I have come across all these years. The one I have given to you to read is hard to get by. Not many people still own the original version of the manuscript.”

Taemin was carefully listening to what Minho said. He was speaking without breaks, voice filling the café with warmth as he kept going.

“You have shown me the world in many ways, Lee Taemin, and you opened a new approach to my most cherished novel that I thought I knew inside and out. Previously I focused my interest on the downfall Dorian experienced rather than the background of their relationship. Despite the obviousness of it, it meant nothing to me. To be frank, there is another quote I would like to share with you. As Basil is conversing with Lord Henry he says something that, today,I am trying to relate to. “I know he likes me. Of course, I flatter him dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him I know I shall be sorry for having said. I give myself away. As a rule, he is charming to me, and we walk home together from the club arm in arm, or sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things.” I wonder if that is what happens to me. I might not be capable to explore the variety of emotions humanity possesses but I want to give myself away. I think I want to give myself to you.”

A/N

Hello! How has everyone been doing in these strange times? This chapter took pretty long to write because I had to do some research - my dumb forgot many details about "The Picture of Dorian Gray" Can't believe I actually studied English Lit at university. I don't remember squat ahhahaha

Anyway, it is here now and I hope you enjoy.

Also, I wanted to shamelessly promote a story I finished recently (the last chapter will be up this week as soon as my beta finishes the proof reading). I don't have a strong dislike or like towards most of my stories, but this one is very dear to me and I can surely say that it is the one I love the most from all stories I have written. So if you do like my stories usually, it would mean the world if you checked it out >< my love-child barely recieves feedback ㅠㅠ ----> Between Languages

Promotion over I thank you, leave a comment, I will answer them in time this time ahahahha sorry for taking so long last chapter.

xx
R