A/N: This is still not the last chapter so enjoy all you want! One more to come soon!

 

Good day Woosung-ssi

You do not know me personally, but I have taken the freedom upon myself to send you this letter as I am worried about Taemin. I hope you will forgive me for copying your address from his address book without anyone’s permission, I am not usually this desperate. At this point I am helplessly surrendering. I have come to a point where my knowledge of the human mind isn’t enough to understand what he is going through and what I can do to help him. He is truly doing very badly.         
I suppose Taemin has already told you that I am not what society deems normal. So, I cannot but ask you to come and meet me somewhen during the upcoming weeks as I am unable to travel far. Please let me know if you are willing to help – I wouldn’t know whom else to contact, I am sorry. You can find my address on the rear side of the envelope.

I am awaiting your reply with great agitation.

Sincerely,

Choi Minho

Woosung would never forget the day he received a letter from Choi Minho, the man he had heard so much about but has never had the pleasure to meet. He never knew why Taemin didn’t want him to meet with his boyfriend but had accepted that it seemed to be what both were most comfortable with. The fact that Minho had always avoided him when he was visiting, made the letter he was holding in his hand even more surprising. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected to be contacted by the mysterious male out of nowhere. And of course, he didn’t leave the message unanswered.

Two more letters were exchanged as they arranged a date to meet up in the library Minho was working at. And a week later, Woosung walked through the unfamiliar corridors until he entered the main hall where Minho had told him to wait. The latter had been very exact in describing the place – to a degree where Woosung felt as if he had been here before. The desk was exactly where Minho had told him and it was easy to make out the chair which he should wait on.

Having never seen a picture of Taemin’s boyfriend made it into a guessing game which one of the workers he was waiting for. In the end he settled for a very average sized man with glasses who was in the back sorting through new arrivals because the only other option around their age was a really tall, man who seemed anything but socially awkward. That man was currently lively telling a student about some English novel, pronouncing the phrases so naturally he wondered if he was an international student.

To his surprise it was that exact man who ended up walking up to him, eyes moving uncontrollably, seemingly not finding anywhere to focus onto.

“I like that you are on time. We will go to the back.” The man, who Woosung now was able to -without a doubt – identify as Minho, said.

It was strange to finally meet him in person. Yes, Taemin had talked about him a lot but experiencing Minho’s behaviour was a lot different than hearing about it. Woosung noticed he knew exactly what he wanted, kept his wording precise and wasn’t up for Smalltalk - to his advances while they were walking, the older male simply did not reply.

They entered a seminar room in the back of the building and Minho told him to sit down.

“I already told you about Taemin’s state. He is very unwell. He doesn’t want to go to the café, and it bothers me. It is our space, and I don’t know where else to spend time with him. We can have at his house, but I also want to talk to him about the novels I read so I need him to come to the café.”

“Uhm…” Woosung uttered, completely flabbergasted with the other’s lack of filter. He had expected their first meeting to be strange, but this was not at all what he had been imagining. Not that he particularly minded hearing about their life, it just wasn’t something that was usually shared within the first five sentence exchanged.

“Does he only want to have with me? Or is he so sad about his grandmother’s death that he wants to forget everything?” Minho kept going and Woosung started to get an impression why Minho had troubles understanding Taemin and his poor mental state. Rather than just being by his side, the man was looking for the reason for Taemin’s condition, thinking his own actions triggered the other’s behaviours rather than assigning them to Taemin grieving.

“I am sorry to say this –“ Woosung started but was interrupted by Minho: “If you are sorry for it don’t say it. I need someone to tell me what to do, you have nothing to be sorry about, so saying something you are sorry for is unnecessary.”

“Uhm..”

A pattern seemed to repeat itself because once more, Woosung found himself speechless, not knowing how to speak in Minho’s presence.

“I am here to help you understand so you need to listen to me.”

Minho nodded and Woosung knew he had his attention even though the other didn’t look at him at all, instead put all his attention on his fingers that were twitching.

“Taemin is grieving.”

“I know that.”

“Can I finish what I want to say?”

“Yes.”

Woosung continued in a calm manner: “Grief is different for everyone and I cannot know for sure what the reason is why he doesn’t want to go to the café, but I am sure that it isn’t because he doesn’t want to talk to you. If he only wanted to uhm… be… intimate, wouldn’t it have been easier to find a random person instead of nurturing the relationship you two have for years now?”

“Probably. But how do I get him to come back? I don’t want to go on without him for much longer.” Minho admitted and Woosung felt a tug on his heartstrings at the helplessness of the man who sat across from him.

“I can bring him to the café. But you’ll have to make him stay.”

“You speak very vaguely. I don’t like that.” Minho gave back and Woosung was taken aback once more. He wasn’t sure if it was an insult or if he should rather stop speaking as everything he said seemed to be wrong.

“I am sorry.” Woosung tried to apologize but the autistic male wasn’t having it.

“I told you before: don’t say you are sorry. Just elaborate. Tell me what you want to say and don’t speak in code, I cannot decipher it.”

Woosung took a moment to prepare his words and it seemed that Minho didn’t mind waiting at all.

“So, I believe that it is hard to go to the café because it is his grandmother’s and everything there reminds him that she isn’t here anymore. You say it is also your place, so fully make it your place. Is there anything that connects the two of you? Are there changes you can make to the café to make it MORE into your place? I’ll try to help but I cannot do it for you as I work a fulltime job during the week.”

Woosung waited for Minho to say something, but the tall male didn’t. He suddenly seemed agitated, his fingers scratching the upper side of his hand while his eyes were watching them closely. It was only when Minho got up, about to leave the room that Woosung spoke up again:              

“Where are you going?”

There was no answer and all he saw was the tall male disappearing from his sight, leaving him in the room all by himself, questioning if he had done something wrong. He followed Minho’s example a few minutes later when he was sure that the other wouldn’t come back anymore, walking towards the exit of the library when he was called back by someone.

“Hey!” A woman who was working there said and Woosung tilted his head.

“Yeah?”

“You were with Minho, right?”

“I was, but he left for some reason. Why do you mean?” He asked and the woman smiled at him warmly.

“It is nice to see him meeting someone on his own accord. Where do you know him from?”

Woosung wasn’t sure if it was smart to disclose the fact that Minho was in a relationship with a man, so he settled for a simple: “I am Taemin’s friend.” Hoping she would at least know his name.

“Meeting him for the first time?”

“Is it that obvious?” Woosung said and scratched his neck.

“You wouldn’t ask that question if you had seen your face earlier. Don’t take anything he says personally, he doesn’t mean it in a bad way, he just tries to help you to communicate with him.” The woman said and Woosung couldn’t thank her enough for her words. “You’ll get used to it eventually.”

“If he wants to meet me again, that is.” Woosung said, thinking back to their short but intense encounter.

“He’ll come around believe me.”

“Thanks so much. Really. Uhm…?” Woosung said, asking for her name.

“Lee Hyojin. Nice to meet you.”

“Kang Woosung.”

“I’ll be seeing you around then, Kang Woosung-ssi” She said, walking away with a pile of books that needed sorting.

16:34

Minho hated change. He disliked every table he turned. He disliked every chair he moved to a different spot. He didn’t like that they removed the curtains; he was repulsed by the new lamps and was barely able to look at the new mugs without wishing the old ones would replace them again.

Woosung was there working by his side, offering his help on weekends when he wasn’t preoccupied with work-related things that he hadn’t specified. But Minho didn’t care that much anyway. He wasn’t working with books and barely knew anything about literature so it didn’t matter, they wouldn’t have common ground to base a conversation on. Conversations were sparse, cut down to the minimum exactly how he liked it. He had to admit though, that Woosung was a good person. He worked well, was on time and didn’t insult him when he wasn’t answering. All things considered, it wasn’t that bad to have another person around, even if it wasn’t Taemin.

Taemin was still acting unlike himself. Minho noticed that his laughter was nothing alike the laughter he had laughed before his grandmother passed away. His legs who had always vibrated nervously, excitedly when they were reading together stayed still, as if he wasn’t actually diving into Ellison’s “Invisible Man” – consuming it on the surface only. It was a shame.

It was a shame that Taemin couldn’t take part in the discussion about African Americans in the early twentieth century because he was still bothered by the death of his grandmother. The novel was especially important in regard to black nationalism and personal identity which then again was one of the very fundamental themes in twentieth century American literature. If he wasn’t paying attention to the novel it would be hard to connect it to further readings such as “Up from Slavery” by Brooker T. Washington or the more complex poetry work such as “Oak and Ivy” by Paul Laurence Dunbar which was currently sitting in his leather bag.

Paul Laurence Dunbar wrote wonderful poetry and reading through it once more made Minho pick up a pencil, walking to one of the empty walls. All pictures had been taken down, Woosung saying they should be exchanged for something new. Minho’s hand moved over the strangely irregular surface of the wall, testing out how it felt to write onto it. It was foreign but didn’t take long for him to get accustomed to. In even letters, he slowly transferred the author's words onto the white wall:

CONFIRMATION

He was a poet who wrote clever verses

And folks said he had fine poetical taste;

But his father, a practical farmer, accused him

Of letting the strength of his arm go to waste.

 

He called on his sweetheart each Saturday evening

A pretty a maiden as man ever faced,

And tere he confirmed the old man’s accusation

By letting the strength of his arm go to waist.

      

                 - Dunbar, Paul Laurence, in: “Oak and Ivy”, p.54

Minho chuckled at the clever wordplay, thinking back to his own hand on Taemin’s waist. It was nice. Much like many of novels described, his skin was soft, warm and of a milky white colour. He missed Taemin. It was a shame that he barely was around the café no more. But if everything went as planned, it wouldn’t be much longer until they would return to their old routine.

“Minho, where should I put these books?” Woosung’s voice pulled Minho out of his thoughts, making him fidget nervously as he felt the younger man’s eyes on his face.

It took a moment to calm himself far enough so he could answer, telling Taemin’s friend to put the books on the free table right next to their designated place. He would be the one to organize the shelf where they were supposed to be, knowing that Woosung wouldn’t do it right – so why bother.

Only two weeks after their initiate meeting, the café shone in a new light – at least that was what Woosung said. Minho had to admit that he was right, the new lamps and the lack of curtains did change the lighting, but he didn’t know why that was a positive thing. There were parts he liked, the quotes on the wall, the three shelves full of books he had received as a donation from the library he worked at, all categorised neatly. They most definitely improved the place. The new decoration on the tables that Woosung had picked out though disturbed the calm ambience the books created – red candles and little plants that needed to be watered every day were nothing he would have ever chosen on his own.

Minho didn’t say anything about the plants, he didn’t say anything about the dark green mugs and plates that reminded him of moss. He didn’t complain about the mirror in the entrance despite hating to see his own reflection every time he entered the place. Whenever he was bothered, he just looked away, pretending it didn’t exist. Despite not seeing the appeal in any of it, he had learned to trust Woosung who seemed to know what Taemin liked so much better than him.

Why Taemin would like them though, was a mystery to the autistic male. Minho kept wondering if it made sense for Taemin to like him if he liked green mugs and plants, it didn’t make sense that he liked him. He was nothing alike any of those things. And he most definitely didn’t have to be taken care of like the plants.

“Minho, come over here for a second.”

“I can’t just come for one second. How long will it take?”

“Depends on how long it takes you to look through these.”

 

A/N
I know it has been a while since I updated this. I have been working on the last chapter very deligently but it is so damn hard to end this story in a perfect way - which is one reason why it turned out way longer than I wanted (is still not done)

I then held a small poll on TWITTER to let you readers decide if I should upload it in two chapters instead! The results showed that people prefered to get the first one now and then the second one later so here, the first of the two chapters. The next one will be up within the next two weeks.

I don't know what else to say besides thank you for all your support through all these years. It means the world to me and I hope to be able to bring this to an end that is worth the rest of the story! As always, I would love to see you in the comments and hope you will stay tuned for the (now REALLY) last chapter!!

XX R