Notice: This is the second update within 3 days so if you haven't read the last chapter make sure to do so! - I know you are not used to having my stories updated so fast which is why I am saying this here ><
Once more I listened to this song on repeat while writing the chapter - you are free to listen to it while reading.

“I remember many things.” Minho answered, a small smile playing around his lips while he caressed the cover of his new book.

“That must be nice. I am really bad at remembering.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I just forget things easily, especially if they are not very important…” Taemin shrugged his shoulders.

“But this is important! So, you too, would have remembered it.” Minho answered the smile not leaving his lips.

“You think this is important?” the younger blushed, not quite knowing what to say. Minho remembered what he said over a year ago and thought it was important to know that he went to the military right after finishing High School. Without realising, Taemin’s heart sped up just slightly, thinking about how Minho deeply cared about what he said.

The autistic male just nodded to answer his question.

“I guess you also remember me asking about a photograph then?” Taemin tried but Minho’s face went blank again. He knew that he had lost connection, by now he was able to tell when Minho was too far gone to talk to and as much as he wanted to know what the other was thinking about, he would try not to disturb the other until he was back in reality.

That was how Taemin imagined it to be like. Drifting away from reality into a small bubble where all the stimulation of the world wouldn’t reach. He remembered being insanely confused when it happened the first time – he tried to get through to the taller many times before giving up. By now he had realised that it was no use. He just had to wait until Minho’s mind came back on its own.

He walked back to the counter, busying himself as good as he could. There wasn’t much to do so he just cleaned the coffee machine and got rid of the trash.

From time to time he checked up on Minho, watching how he moved his eyeballs from side to side while he was probably having a conversation with himself. Taemin felt bad for asking the question. He had known that the other male wouldn’t like him asking, so why did he do it? The answer to this question was simple: He made it out of pure self-interest. Knowing that he was gone for almost 2 years, he really felt the need to take a picture of Minho with him.

He had pictures of some of his friends, he had pictures of his family and he wanted Minho to be inside his locker as well, so he could remember the feeling of being with the taller male.

Their relationship has developed and Taemin couldn’t help but be proud of himself and Minho that they brought it this far. When he first met the other, their interaction was reduced to the necessary parts and felt cold. Now he wasn’t afraid to sit across from Minho without asking, talking to him just as he did to anyone else.

It felt warm. Being with Minho was warmth.

That day, he also watched as the older pulled out his books and started reading. He decided that he would try to ask him again tomorrow. Maybe later into their conversation so they would be able to speak to each other for longer than just 20 minutes.

He let Minho finish up his things without interrupting him, doodling onto a piece of paper he found while sometimes watching the beautiful man write something down into his notebook.

18:55

Minho got up from his seat at the same time as always and packed his things.

“Goodbye” He said when leaving.

They still had three days. He would be able to talk to him again.

Taemin was about to clean the table when he found a piece of folded paper underneath the cup. He couldn’t quite believe that this was still the tactic Minho used to communicate with him after ending a conversation. Back when he wrote the first note, he could have never imagined that it would become the very fundament of their friendship.

Taemin,

I do understand that you want a photograph of me so you wouldn’t forget. I apologize but I don’t think I am capable of granting your wish. There are barely any photographs of me and taking a new one is in no way easy. Never the less I would want you to follow my belief that you can remember me even if we are apart. It isn’t difficult. Just think about me every day and you will not forget. If you do not believe my words, you can refer to Jane Austin’s “Emma”. You will find portrayals of this throughout the whole novel.

In addition, I have wanted to ask your forgiveness for zoning out. It is challenging to me to hold up a conversation over a longer period. I did my best, but it wasn’t enough. It is never enough.

Watch the moon tonight, it’ll be full and incredibly beautiful.

                                                        -   Choi Minho

There were a few tears forming in Taemin’s eyes while reading the last paragraphs. He remembered his grandmother talking about something along the lines of “Minho doesn’t really feel emotions” and she couldn’t be more wrong. Taemin was sure the autistic male felt something. The latter was disappointed in himself and that isn’t possible without emotions.

“It is never enough.” Taemin mumbled and suddenly wondered what kind of poor self-image Minho had. He was doing plenty already and still wasn’t satisfied.

20:40

Taemin was calling his parents to ask about regulations of books in the military devision he was enlisted in. He had a huge document at home that contained all the information about his enlistment and rules in his particular division, as well as the address where he would be stationed at.

He was, in fact, not restricted in bringing any kind of book, turns out there was not list of books he wasn’t allowed to bring with him. The address, he asked for shortly before they were about to hang up. Maybe it would come in handy. He could give it to Minho.

For a few seconds, Taemin scolded himself for getting his hopes up that Minho would write him letters during his duty, but then again, a man should be allowed to dream right?

17:45

After Minho had told him that he was struggling with keeping up a conversation for a long time, Taemin noticed the changes in how the autistic male interacted with him. After roughly 15 minutes his answers got shorter and he was visibly exhausted from paying attention to what Taemin said.

“I will leave you to your work now. Can I come back later?” Taemin asked and he noticed the instant relaxation that spread on Minho’s face when he offered to leave first.

18:40

Taemin returned to the table exactly 15 Minutes before Minho would leave.

“What are you reading?” the latter asked while sitting down.

It took a few minutes before the conversation was flowing but Taemin didn’t mind. He listened to what Minho had to say and in the last minutes even got to know that his professors have been trying to convince him to go to a better university where his talent could be properly promoted. The reason for his refusal was obvious but the professors didn’t understand.

“They don’t understand that I cannot go somewhere else. Does moving come so easily to everyone?”

Taemin didn’t expect Minho to ask him a question, so he wasn’t prepared at all, taking his time to answer to it properly.

“It can be hard at the beginning. But there is also much good that can come from moving. Look at me, I met you!”

“You think I should go?”

“I think that if you really want to, you can do whatever you put your mind to.”

“But I don’t want to move.” Minho said, his eyes closing for a second.

Taemin thought about what Minho said. Going to a better university would be a piece of cake for the taller, he was sure about that. He was also sure that studying in the small city 30 minutes from here was pretty much a waste of his knowledge.

“I am saying that if at any point you do want to pursue your studies further, I believe that you could handle the changes that come with it.”

The time had come for Minho to leave and the latter did just that. After Taemin had spoken up about believing that Minho could handle anything, the older had been lost for words and started packing his things.

“Goodbye.” He said while leaving Taemin at the table, the latter hoping that Minho would think about what he said. By no means did he want to pressure him into anything, he just wanted the other to deal with the situation he was in.

The last two days went by way too fast and the time to say goodbye for a long time came earlier than either of them wanted it to come.

18:50

“Here.” Minho said, holding a huge book in his hands, holding them out for Taemin to take it. “You said you could bring it with you yesterday.”

Taemin was unable to say anything, he felt like something was stuck in his throat and he could almost feel tears threatening to form. Why was it so hard to say goodbye? Why did he come back before he enlisted? This was even worse than being away for a long time. He shouldn’t even feel like this about Minho. They were barely good friends. But just the thought of not contacting him in almost two years pained him. Even more so now as he watched Minho holding out one of his treasured books with an indefinable look on his face.

Unable to speak, Taemin took the book into his hands, brushing against Minho’s bigger ones in the process. It was the first time they touched and felt like an incredible intimate moment even if it just lasted for a second. The younger instantly pressed the book against his chest, showing Minho how thankful he was for receiving it.

“Thank you.” He managed to utter in a feeble voice.

“You… You are wel-welcome” For the first time in a long time Minho stuttered in his presence and Taemin felt the strong desire to hug him. Saying goodbye properly. Instead he walked to the counter to bring the letter he prepared.

“Here.” Taemin said while holding out the letter. “Read it after I left.”

Minho nodded, looking at the floor with the same indefinable look he was wearing ever since he entered the café that day. His hands grabbed the letter gently and placed it into his bag.

“I understand.”

“This is goodbye then?” Taemin asked.

“Yes.”

“Can you look at me?”

Minho instantly started fidgeting as soon as Taemin spoke those words.

“I- I-“

“Look at me.” Taemin said, with more certainty this time.

“I- I can’t” the autistic male whispered, his hands nervously playing with his fingers while his eyes moved along the floor rapidly.

“You can. I know it.”

It took several minutes for Minho to calm down and when he did, he lifted his head. Taemin held his breath as he realised that the other would try.

“I won’t hurt you.” Taemin spoke gently when he saw Minho’s gaze fixing on his neck. “You are almost there.”

Their eyes met.

For nothing more than a split second, but to Taemin it meant the world. He knew Minho’s eyes were beautiful, but having them look right back into his, made him feel as if he was falling right towards him.

“I am so sorry, I don’t think I can do this.” Minho said, burying his head in his hands, obviously angry at himself for failing what he wanted to do.

“What do you mean you can’t do this?! You just did!” Taemin shouted, a little too loud for the taller to feel comfortable, but it didn’t matter.

      “Look at me”

      “I- I can’t”

      "You can. I know it.”

These words were replaying in Taemin’s head as he watched the endless fields pass by the windows of the train back to Seoul.

“The and the Dead” was safely secured in the top part of his backpack, an inscription, written in beautiful characters, on its very first page.

Taemin,

Thank you for being by my side.

I won’t forget and neither will you.

Please always stay healthy and live happily.

 

                               -Choi Minho

A/N

Surprise, I wrote a second chapter in just 3 days. Honestly I think I am more impressed at myself than you are.
It is some sort of excuse for the short chapters you have been getting. I just feel like this story works better in short chapters.

Your comments are making my days on a regular basis and I wanted to thank you once more for the incredible support I have been getting.

Stay healthy everyone, I caught a cold again ahhaha to be me I guess ^^ weak imune system...

xx

R