“Do you think he’s going to wake up?” Renjun asked Jaemin once he had sat down in front of the other in the small food court of the mall opposite the hospital. “It’s been months.”

“Donghyuck will wake up,” Jaemin reassured him, picking up the burger he had ordered and taking a big bite out of it. “I believe that he will,” the other said through mouthfuls. “But…can we talk about something, Junnie?” Taking a glance at one of his best friends, Renjun shook his head. Whatever it is they would say, he didn’t want to hear it even if he needed to.

“Renjun…this is taking a toll on you,” Jaemin whispered gently and Renjun could already feel the tears build up in his eyes. He could feel the doubt, the anger – he didn’t want to be angry at the other because who gave him the right to talk about it when I said no?

“Jaemin, not now,” he stated, body stiff as he remembered Donghyuck laying in the hospital bed. Every time he went there, it felt like he was watching the other sleep – the other who shone brighter than anyone else he had ever known.

Brighter than Mark Lee.

“Renjun. We have to talk about it,” Jaemin insisted, making a lump rise in Renjun’s throat as he dared to look at the other and saw the pain in his eyes. “You don’t go anywhere but the hospital or your apartment anymore. I don’t see you anywhere else, Renjun, and when I do…, when I see you, you’re always tired and it’s like you’ve lost so much weight-” Renjun could feel his heart break at Jaemin’s words – he hadn’t even noticed that the other was paying attention to him. “And , Renjun, when Jeno sees you, he says it’s like you’re letting your sadness swallow you. He tried to greet you two days ago when he saw you walking from the hospital but you didn’t even hear.” Have I really been such a ty friend? “We’re just worried.”

“I’m fine,” he replied, trying his best to not let the tears fall. “Jaemin, I will be okay. Please don’t worry.”

“How can I not?” the other asked, a tear slipping down his cheek and mirroring Renjun’s own. “Junnie, how can I not?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, feeling more tears fall down his cheeks as he brought a hand up to brush away the tears staining his friend’s face. “I don’t know how else I can make it up to him other than being here for him all the time.”

“But Renjun, you deserve a life too,” Jaemin whispered back, Mihyun’s earlier words echoing in the back of his mind.

“They’re asking us if we want to turn off the life support, Renjun,” Mihyun had said, her eyes b with tears. “They can’t. That’s- That’s my brother, my other half…I can’t imagine life without him Renjun.”

“I can’t imagine life without him either,” he had answered, taking a deep breath as he stared at Donghyuck’s peaceful face. “If I could just go back in time and do it all again-”

“Would you have dumped Mark-oppa for him?” Mihyun had asked, her voice breaking in all the wrong spots as Renjun leaned down and kissed Donghyuck’s forehead.

“Can I tell you something?” He heard Mihyun hum in approval behind him before continuing. “I wouldn’t have dated Mark-hyung if I had a second chance. I would’ve dated your brother instead.”

“But didn’t you like Mark-oppa from the start-”

“I dated Mark-hyung to get over Donghyuck,” he admitted, eyes never leaving Donghyuck’s resting face. “And it worked for a while, but my heart eventually came back to loving your brother. Especially when Mark-hyung dumped me.”

“My brother deserves to be more than a rebound,” MIhyun stated, voice threatening but making Renjun laug