"Sorry for straining your shirt", Chungha says looking at the drenched part of my shirt.

"It's okay, I was the one who made you cry anyway", I said giving her my handkerchief to wipe of her remaining tears.

"Sejeong will probably hit me if she found out that I made you cry in front of her", I joked to change the heavy atmosphere.

"Or she'll be pulling you out of nowhere to thank and treat you for lending your shoulder to me", Chungha said as both of us laughed thinking how possible it is.

As the night comes, I had trouble sleeping again. Even though I feel very tired, every night had always been a struggle for me. Not being able to handle the pain anymore, I went out to the rooftop to unwind.

"Naong-ah, will you be lonely if I die?", Sejeong ask while drawing some weird doodles again.

"Not really, I'll probably be celebrating if that happens", I told her and felt a paper thrown at me.

"That hurts", she said exaggeratedly clenching her chest acting like she’s in pain.

"That's why you have to stop asking me those kinds of questions. What's with you these days anyway you've been asking that to me too many times", I said flipping the page of the book I'm reading.

"Can you blame me, I got rejected by Chungha unnie and examination day is coming closer too. Life is so depressing when you can't have your love at the same time the brain needed for the exam", she said jumping on the bed and whine loudly.

"Like you aren't smart enough to ace that exams again. And don’t blame Chungha for rejecting you, you’re a great friend but it’ll be a lost for her if she date you", I told her as she always on top of our class even though she doesn't study that much.

"Adding ‘having a very insensitive friend who is not helping you nor sympathizing with you’ in the list. If I ever commit suicide, I'll be hunting you first", she said throwing a pillow at me.

"You know I always wanted to disown and kill you most of the time but I love you way too much and I don't think I can live without a very great, responsible, understanding, thoughtful, loyal and adorable friend such as you are", I said pinching and stretching her cheeks making her yelp in pain.

"Is that enough?", I asked releasing her cheeks.

"Jeez I love you too", she said sarcastically.

"Let's just go eat some ice cream to make you feel better", I said knowing that she's still in pain of getting rejected.  

"Now were talking, let's go", she said excitedly jumping off the bed as if she didn’t talk about dying a while ago.

I felt the loneliness and longing creeping on my heart again as I thought of Sejeong. She helped me a lot on my problems and I feel guilty that I wasn't able to do the same for her.

"Can't sleep again?", I turned around to see Hana unnie holding two cans of beer.

"You weren't on the hospital room so I thought you'll be here", she added as I took one of the beer from her and take a sip.

"Sejeong is being clingy on my mind again", I joked making both of us laugh.

"Just admit that you miss her that badly", Hana unnie said in a teasing tone.

"I do. Who knew that I'll prefer hearing her tease me endless rather than see her sleeping and being quiet", I said and felt unnie hugged me from my side.

"I wish she would wake up already and scold everyone for blaming themselves", she said making me smile.

We stayed silent and enjoyed the cold breeze reminiscing some memories I had with Sejeong. To think that I just told Chungha to stop blaming herself but here I am doing the same.

"Naong ah, get up. I know you’re not sleeping", I cover myself with my blanket and continue to ignore Sejeong.

"Yah, I won't stop until you get up from this bed. You know me", she said shaking me again and tried to get my blanket off me.

"And I'm not getting off this bed so give up. Go bother someone else", I told her and turn my back on her.

 It's been almost a month now since Hana unnie and I broke up and I still feel hurt and depressed until now. Ever since Hana unnie started her internship at the hospital everything went not so well between us. She was so busy that I felt myself getting neglected by her. We fought and argued a lot until she told me that she can no longer bear everything. She became too tired and decided to break up with me. I was so angry and hurt that time so I accepted the break up and told her that I'm also tired of everything.

"But I've been bothering everyone for a month now. Don't you think your turn has been delayed too long already?", she said whining as she continues to shake me.

"Please, just le