“Get on your sits now my children, our class will start soon”, the teacher says with her motherly voice as the students obediently went to their sits.

I can’t help but feel intimidated seeing how their eyes where focus on me probably because of curiosity. I just moved here from Texas a week ago as my mom got relocated here because of her work.

“Starting today, our new friend here will be joining us. I hope you’ll get along with her”, she says and looked at me with a warm smile plastered on her face.

Being the shy person as I’ve always been I can’t help but feel scared and nervous especially when everyone’s attention are on me. But that nervousness was immediately gone as soon as I saw a kid smiling adorably at me with her eyes forming crescent moon.  

“My name is Kim Chungha and I’ll be joining your class starting today. Please take care of me”, I said without my voice trembling and saw that person still wearing her adorable smile.

“I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your school year here. You can sit beside Sejeong”, she said as the smiling kid raise her hand for me to find her easily.

"Hi my name is Sejeong", she says brightly smiling at me and offered her hand.

"Nice to meet you", I said accepting her handshake.

“I hope we can be good friends”, she said with that adorable eyesmile again. I can’t help but be infected with her bright energy.

“Yeah”, I said smiling shyly at her.

This is where our rollercoaster relationship started.

Sejeong became my first friend, my bestfriend, my first love and first heartbreak.

"Chungha-yaaaa"

"Chungha unnie"

"Hamster unnie"

I woke up by the familiar voices calling my name and endlessly knocking at my door. Even though I wanted to sleep more I decided to get up knowing they won't stop until I let them in.

"Just give me a minute please", I shouted letting them know that I'm already up.

"And please stop knocking loudly, my neighbours are starting to complain", I said opening the door to be greeted by Kyulkyung, Nayoung and Somi.

"What took you so long unnie", Kyulkyung said getting inside with Somi and Nayoung following her.

"You're really out here living by your name, you alcohol unnie", Somi sarcastically said shaking her head while looking at the empty cans of beer.

I wasn't really an alcoholic person but drinking has been my best escape to temporarily forget the pain I've been feeling since the incident happened.

It has been more than 4 months already since the day Sejeong tried to kill herself leaving me relentlessly blaming myself for it. Everyone kept convincing me that it wasn’t my fault and that I shouldn’t blame myself for what happened but I just can’t stop feeling this way.

I've been living like a dead person for months, lifelessly going to school, home and hospital.

"Aren't you going to ask why we’re here?", Kyulkyung asked as if they aren't coming here every day.

"It’s not something new though", I said as I lay down in my sofa trying to bear the headache I got from drinking too much.

"Here, I knew that you'll be drinking again", Nayoung said handing me some hangover soup to relieve my headache. I've always had trouble falling asleep every night because of the pain that I always feel and drinking has been my escape to temporarily forget

"Thanks, you’re the best", I said smiling at her.

"Dodaeng will be throwing a party for their 3rd anniversary together. You'll be there right?", Somi asked with a hopeful voice.

"I can't. I'm sorry, I'll be staying at hospital later", I said giving her an apologetic smile feeling sorry already.

After what happened, I stop hanging out with everyone. I was afraid that I'll be reminded of all the great memories I spend with Sejeong having the same circle of friends.

"Besides I don't want to bring the atmosphere down, especially for Doyeon", I added looking down at the floor.

Knowing what happened between Sejeong and I, Doyeon was really angry with me and didn't talk to me until recently. I understand her though since I too blame myself until now. If I just took down my pride and was honest with Sejeong, I could’ve had prevented her to commit suicide. Instead I played a huge part for it.

"Hey stop thinking that way, I'm sure Doyeon would love to have you there", Nayoung said encouraging me. It wasn't that long since Doyeon and I made up so everything is a little too awkward between us.

"I don't know, besides Naong is already expecting me to accompany her", since Sejeong's parents are already divorced and both are really busy with their business, Naong and I were usually the ones who accompany Sejeong at the hospital.

Even with her busy schedules, her mother still tries to be there as much as she can while her father never visited as he was still angry to what Sejeong did. It does not only cause him a lot of money but also backlash on his image.

"How's Sejeong unnie anyway? Are there any improvements?", Kyulkyung asked with sadness apparent on her voice.

"Her wounds and injuries completely healed up already but there are still no sign of her waking up yet", I said sighing as she nods with disappointment.