Today I saw you in a white dress, you looked even more beautiful than you had in my dream all those years ago.

After a long time, I saw that earth shattering smile on your face as you walked down the aisle, but today it was directed not at me, but at the man standing at the altar, looking at you like you were the eighth wonder of the world.

And somehow that made me feel.....at peace. Ironic, I know but it was because I realized he loved you as much as I had once. That he would take care of you and make you happy.

I went to Han River after the wedding. I have visited it numerous times over the years, the first few times it was very painful. Because all it reminded me of was you and the times we had spent together alongside it. I have come to have a bittersweet relationship with it, considering it has been with me at the happiest and saddest of times. It took all of it, the agony and the delight wrapping it all up in its tides and swallowing it like the secrets that only belong in its depths.

I took out the last picture of us that I had left. The one thing I couldn't bring myself to throw away, or burn as a part of me, albeit very small, still held on. All the gifts that we had exchanged and anything that reminded me of us, I threw it away when I went through therapy. It was a part of letting you go and moving on, and I knew I had to do it if I wanted to become the person I once was. My friends did it for me, when they knew it was too hard for me and I let them.

But I kept this picture. It remained hidden in my drawer for years collecting dust, I didn't want to look at it for I felt I was still too weak and couldn't risk the emotions that might resurface.

But today I took it out. I looked at it and I didn't feel any agony, any pain, any longing. Guess I’ve moved on, huh? Just a dull ache, which I could feel going away as I finally let it flow on the waves, for them to swallow it along with any other emotion or pain I had left.

I sighed in hope of happier times. Of consuming emotions, faithful tears and blinding smiles.

Goodbye, Soojung.