You visited me every day. Increasing the guilt I felt every time you brought something over to the dorm, every time you smiled to end the despair I was feeling despite how tired I knew you were.

"Don't you dare come tomorrow understand? I am fine now. And the members will all be here tomorrow after the concert and I don't want them to tease me seeing you here"

I said with the best annoying pout I could manage. I felt so guilty for all the exhaustion I was putting you through and angry at myself to have been so careless and gotten myself injured. I hated seeing you sad, especially when I knew the reason was me.

You narrowed your eyes at me.

"I'll do whatever I want okay? I don't take orders from you!"

You tried to sound angry. But I could see right through you, Soojung. Did you think I didn't know how hard you were trying? Even after the exhausting schedules you had, you still visited me every day. You always put up the lame excuse that you were bored so you visited, but who were you fooling? I tried to refrain from seeming too happy when you visited, because I knew that would only encourage you more to do so.

Your caring gestures made me fall more in love with you, if that was even possible, but they also made me feel guiltier. I felt like a burden, and a deceiver for not being able to fulfill the promises I made to the fans and to you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I often feel like Jongin's too hard on himself. Like that guy doesn't know when to stop and breathe. But at the end of the day, he's a human who suffers just like the rest of us and I wish he would stop feeling guilty for being one.

You've all probably heard about the Army Enlistment law thing, I know it seems like such a long period. Living without them for 2 years but it's not like we'll stop loving them, right? We will wait for them for as long as it takes and wish they would remain healthy and happy wherever they are and whatever they are doing. Umin hyung though :(

(So bald Baekhyun? I can't even imagine it! :D We are all in for some big surprises when and if they do enlist)