Jinyoung shifted on his feet while standing along the airport's waiting hall. 

He would like to walk another pace but some of the people are giving him weird stares already. And why wouldn't they? He's been pacing back and forth for the past thirty minutes.

It was past 8pm and Jinyoung is expecting Jaebum to arrive in any minute.

Jinyoung flicked his tongue and paced back and forth again for the nth time.

Why does he feel like he's waiting for the result of an exam where in he just guessed every single answer?

He feels anxious alright.

And when the arrival of the flight was announced, Jinyoung almost jumped on his feet. His nervousness is surfacing.

A few moments after, passengers of the flight started arriving. When he saw his red wine hair, Jinyoung's heart started to quicken its pace. 

He's in the middle of contemplating whether he should greet or not. And if he decides to speak, what should he say? 

Jaebum's poker face is not helping. Every step that his boyfriend took seems so slow and very excruciating for him. He missed him. But, he doesn't think he's ready to face him just yet.

But before Jinyoung could say anything, he felt Jaebum's arms wrap around his shoulders and almost cover the whole of his back.

He's sure that Jaebum could feel how hard his heart is beating right now. His anxiousness toned down and is now being replaced by longing. He just realized, it's been a month since he last felt this pair of arms, since he felt this familiar warmth.

He missed this. He missed Jaebum. He missed his anchor.

"Why are you standing there like a cactus?" Jaebum asked after breaking the hug.

"Weren't you mad at me?" his question made Jaebum shrug. His boyfriend nodded, without any second thoughts. So he is mad, Jinyoung is now sure.

"Yeah I am." It came out casually. "But it doesn't change the fact that I still missed you." 

And with those words, Jinyoung cannot help but pull his boyfriend in again for another hug. Because one is not enough. He missed him so much, he could cry. Having Jaebum in his arms makes him question his decision of going to L.A. alone. How did he even manage to be far from Jaebum? For a month? He really survived?

"Okay." Jaebum mumbled in his shoulder. "So we're hugging again." Jinyoung felt the older's arms around him again.

"I missed you so much." Jinyoung said as he pulled back. He cupped Jaebum's face and kissed him tenderly. "God, I missed you." He repeated himself. "I'm sorry."

Jaebum's eyes pierced through him. Even after four years of being with the latter, Jinyoung still finds it hard to read every emotion coming from those eyes. And right now, is no different.

"Before we go through that, maybe we should head somewhere?" Jaebum suggested. "We'll talk about it, but somewhere else. Not here."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Jinyoung just finished explaining the whole story to Jaebum.

They're in a cafe near the airport. Jaebum said he's not hungry and Jinyoung ain't sure if he can eat in this situation, either.

"So this band that you're talking about, I mean, this band that you're in... are you like... a big thing here?"

Jaebum asked while sipping on his coffee.

"It's not that big. But we're well known here. Shows from left to right. And the talent fee that we're earning is more than just something. Considering, those guys afford to stay at Windsors."

Jaebum's eyes went huge, a sign of surprise by what the younger just said.

"Then I can say that the band is in a good state."

Jinyoung just nodded, watching his boyfriend sitting back on his chair. "Your dad doesn't know about this."

"And you can't let him know about this, hon."

He heard the other sigh, while still staring at him like he's deciding whether he should or should not tell.

"Please, hon?" Jinyoung pleaded which then made his boyfriend shut his eyes and exhale deeply.

Seconds after, Jaebum stared at his eyes. "You have a gig today, right? That Jackson told me you were rehearsing." Jinyoung just nodded. "Then, I want to see it." See it? Jinyoung's mind repeated. 

Jaebum leaned in closer. 

"I want to see what you always talk about. Those things you say you love about music, I want to see it."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Jinyoung sat beside his boyfriend. They just finished the whole set and Jaebum was watching them, watching him all throughout the show.

He was expecting to hear something from Jaebum. It doesn't even have to be a positive remark (though he's sure he would want to hear one) but Jaebum didn't say anything. He just sat there as the other members also returned from the backstage.

Jinyoung wanted to ask but...maybe he'll just wait.

"Guys, this is Jaebum. My boyfriend."

After saying that, Jackson and Yugyeom were all over Jaebum asking him about himself. Jinyoung was worried because he knew Jaebum as a little aloof and awkward around new people but Jaebum just gave him a reassuring smile, saying that he got things under control. So he just let his bandmates do the getting to know each other segment with Jaebum.

A couple of beers later, Bambam is asking for all of them to head home because Yugyeom is almost dead drunk. 

"Uh, hon?" Jinyoung looked back at Jaebum. "I think I should check in a hotel first."

Oh right. He has no place to offer Jaebum. Now he thinks he should stay with Jaebum in a hotel.

"You don't have to, Jaebum!!" Jackson is now beside them, putting his arm around Jinyoung's shoulder. "Our place is so big, it could fit an elephant. So you, staying over, will not be a hassle."

"I'll stay in your apartment?" Jaebum has his eyebrows knitted.

"Why not? You're Jinyoung's boyfriend. And he's our dear friend. Of course you'll get the same privilege! You can stay at our place, right Mark?"

Jackson pulled Mark with his hoodie. The drummer just grunted and hit the latter's hand who then said Ouch. "I'm just asking if Jaebum can stay at our place."

Jinyoung saw Mark as he grimaced at Jackson before turning to them and answering.

"It depends on you. You're the room mate." His eyes remained on Jinyoung's.

"I could sleep with Youngjae! Right Jae?" They heard a yes from the pianist, making Jackson smile widely. "See? So Jaebum, you'll stay with us."

All three of them stared at each other after Jackson left.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"Your room is quite big."

Jaebum said as he sat on the bed. He just finished showering. He went next after Jinyoung. He also put his bag beside him and started unpacking.

It's just a small travelling bag since he only planned to stay over the weekends, three days max. As much as he missed his boyfriend, well Jaebum can't miss too much on his work either.

"Technically, it's Jackson's room." Jinyoung said as he leaned back on the dresser across the room. He's still drying his hair with a towel.

"Now I'm feeling a little guilty for throwing him out of his own room."

Jinyoung put down his towel, walked towards his boyfriend and helped him unpack his things. "Well, it was Jackson who insisted. And I'm thankful that he did."

"Cause if he didn't?" Jaebum tested him.

"Well then, I have to move in to your hotel, so that I can be with you..." there's a creeping smile on the side of his lips as Jinyoung moved closer, keeping his eyes on the older.

Jaebum's brows arched in the attempt to tease the younger. "And what if I don't agree on that?"

Jinyoung stilled for a while and cocked his head to one side, his thinking pose. Then, he's smirking. "Oh, won't you?"

Now all he hears is Jaebum's laugh. It's rare for Jinyoung to hear this kind of laugh from his boyfriend. He's always been the serious one. Like, why are you laughing, there's nothing funny kind.

"Well, I don't know..." Jinyoung isn't sure how Jaebum managed to get rid of the bag between them because now their knees are touching each other. "But...one thing is for sure..." He felt his boyfriend's hands on the hem of his white shirt. "...You look so damn hot on that stage." 

Jinyoung's heart is beating eratically and seeing Jaebum bite his lips is not helping! He saw a grin forming on the older's lips. Jinyoung knows that Jaebum noticed how he's staring intently at those lips. Those lips which he missed. 

Jinyoung had his right hand on the side of Jaebum as he leans in closer, inhaling his scent. Jinyoung always loved his musky smell. Jaebum has a certain crisp in his scent which Jinyoung finds really irresistible.

"Are you teasing me right now?" His question came out with a hiss as he bring his face closer to the other, their noses touching. "...cause I swear to God-" even Jinyoung can't make out what he just said. It became a soft mumble which then turned into a soft moan when Jaebum crashed his lips on his.

It was tender, yet very needy at the same time. Jinyoung's left hand made it's way to Jaebum's neck, caressing it softly, pinching its sides, eliciting a moan from the latter. Jaebum loves whatever he does on his neck, whether he touches it, all the more when he kisses it. That's his weak spot.

Slowly, Jinyoung pressed his weight on Jaebum as the other lies down on the bed. Jaebum's hands are working too. Jinyoung now felt those inside his shirt, pushing it up in the process. He used his right hand to follow Jaebum's doing too. 

His lips traced the line of Jaebum's sharp jaw, earning another moan from the other. "Oh god. Dear god." Jinyoung could only grin thinking how religious he can make Jaebum.

He brought his mouth back to Jaebum's lips once again, his tongue now seeking for entrance, which Jaebum gladly gave. His hands remained on the side of his boyfriend's waist, when he felt Jaebum struggling with his shirt. Jinyoung pulled back to look at him. 

Jaebum's eyes were in a daze while trying to focus on him. "This. Off. Now." he laughed at how demanding and bossy Jaebum sounded when he's on the edge. He smiled and was about to do just that when they heard someone knocking on the door. Then, Jackson's voice.

"Hey Jinyoung? Jinyoung??" A couple more Jinyoungs before Jinyoung did answer. 

"What is it?" he shouted back, still not getting off of Jaebum. 

"Oh! Mark was calling for you! He said he has something to talk to you about!"

Jinyoung creased his forehead thinking what might it be about, but seeing Jaebum's inpatient face, he shrugged it off.

"I'll go later!" He shouted once again.

"Oh okay!"

Jaebum's sigh made him look at his boyfriend again. "Now, where were we?" Jinyoung asked.

"Your shirt." Jaebum said pointing at it. With another smirk and one swift move, Jinyoung was able to take off his shirt. "Now, yours."

Jaebum didn't need any telling. He did just as same, leaving them both shirtless and wanting more.

Jinyoung dived in for another taste of the older's lips. Biting on his lip, he plunged his tongue forward and inside Jaebum's warm mouth. 

Their hands roamed around each other's body. His hand marveled along Jaebum's wide chest while the other's hand travelled along his happy trail.

He's wearing a short and Jaebum is tugging at it, trying to pull it down. But he still needs to undo his zipper so he did his boyfriend a favor and zipped his short open. 

"God, I missed you so much." Jaebum's hand found what it's looking for. He touched his length which made Jinyoung moan. "Fck. Alright" The younger said, continuing to kiss the other.

But then, there's someone banging on the door again.

"Hyung!" This time it's Bambam. Jinyoung could only groan, as Jaebum rolled his eyes in irritation. 

"Hyung!" Bambam calls out again. "Mark hyung said he needs to talk to you about something important!"

"I'll go in a bit! Just tell him to wait!" Jinyoung's patience is almost running out.

He's an ordinary man. A man with needs. And now he's about to get his fill, they'll keep on interrupting?

Jinyoung turned to an annoyed Jaebum. "Hon, I'm sorry bout that." 

Jaebum blew out a long sigh before pulling him in again for another kiss. Then his hands went back to its business, touching Jinyoung's crotch. "You're so hard." Jinyoung smirked through their kiss. "All for you, babe. All for you."

His hand also made its way to Jaebum's. He's wearing sweatpants, only making it easier for Jinyoung to feel his . Unsatisfied, Jinyoung tugged his sweatpants down, enough to reveal his manhood in all its glory. Without breaking the kiss, Jinyoung wrapped his hand on Jaebum's making the other arch his back.

"Oh fck." Jaebum hissed. "I need you. Inside me, now." The older said tugging at the waistband of his boxer.

Why is he wearing too many clothes anyway? It's only delaying them both.

Jinyoung cannot contain his self control anymore, and was aching to be inside his boyfriend now. But expectedly, there goes the knocking.

"Jinyoung hyung!" Yugyeom calls out.

"Oh fcking forget it. I'm done." Jaebun said pushing him off and rolling on his side to get his shirt.

"Hon..." he tried to say but Yugyeom's voice covered it.

"Jinyoung hyung! Mark hyung really needs to talk to you right now, he says!"

Jinyoung shut his eyes and inhaled, calming his self. "Hon, I'm-"

"Just go to Mark. And I'll just sleep. I lost my mood, anyway."

He sighed defeatedly as he fixed himself and wore his shirt. He stood up and looked at Jaebum again. "Okay then, goodnight hon." but he didn't answer.

He's disappointed, Jinyoung knows. And he understands because he feels just as same.

When Jinyoung went outside, he saw the other members sitting on the couch and watching a documentary. Something weird for them to watch, Jinyoung thinks.

He found Mark seated by the kitchen counter. 

"Were you sleeping?" Mark asked. He shook his head. They most certainly were not. 

Afterwards, Mark handed him a paper, where a song is written. He frowned. Couldn't this wait til tomorrow? 

"It's our new song. We'll practice it after tomorrow's show." Jinyoung just nodded. "Okay you can go take a rest now." He nodded again. "The guys and I are watching this documentary. We need to be quiet and focused on watching. You know what I mean?" Jinyoung, again just nodded. "So...there shouldn't be any noise..."

Though he's confused, Jinyoung only nodded again. "Okay then, Mark. I'll go now. Good night."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

The next morning, all of them ate the breakfast prepared by Youngjae and Bambam.

As usual, Jackson got Jaebum to talk about him and his relationship with Jinyoung. Yugyeom and Bambam seemed interested too.

Jinyoung was happy to see that Jaebum is making the effort to get to know his friends better. When he thinks of it, he can't help but hope that this time, Jaebum chooses to understand him. Maybe this time will be different.

"Wow. That is one beautifully written song."

Jinyoung watched as Jaebum conversed with Youngjae about his composed song.

It was around 3 in the afternoon when Jaebum received an emergency call from the hospital, telling him to go back to Korea.

The rest of the band finds it unfortunate that Jaebum only got to stay for a day with them. But they bid him goodbye.

They were at the airport. They were walking towards the boarding lounge when Jaebum spoke.

"So when will you fly back to Korea?"

Jaebum casually took his bag from Jinyoung and looked at the younger's eyes.

"I'll just go ahead now. But you'll be going back shortly after, right?"

He's still not answering.

"Maybe, a week? It will be enough, I think. Then you should head back home. And then you should assume your position in the company."

"Why is this all so sudden?" Jinyoung frowned.

"Sudden?" Jaebum almost scoffed. "This has been the plan, isn't it? You, taking over the company. That's the plan, Jinyoung. You just went here to take a break and you happened to join this band, but that doesn't change anything. It shouldn't."

Now Jinyoung's brows are knitted. He's trying to digest what Jaebum is saying. 

"Come on. You seriously didn't think you could stay here in that band of yours forever. Do you?"

"But... You watched. You saw how I love performing."

"Yes I did." Jaebum was quick to answer. "But it's not what you're supposed to do. You're not supposed to waste your time on a small band, playing here and there with no specific and certain direction in life? Jinyoung, you have so much more ahead of you. This is just nothing."

Nothing? How could he consider his dream as nothing?

"Singing in a band is not a future." Jaebum said. "In a few years, your band might be gone and it doesn't guarantee security for any of you guys. Will you be that stupid to throw this chance that your dad is giving you, just to sing in a band?"

Those words stayed in Jinyoung's mind. And how Jaebum said it, with what seems to be disgust and mockery. 

"You still refuse to understand." 

Jaebum frowned at him. "Understand what? This silly dream of yours?"

"You don't understand." He repeated. 

Jaebum gaped at him. "It's me whom you dont understand, you are not-"

"It is me!" Jinyoung said in a louder voice. "It is me whom you never understand. You keep saying that you love me but you can't even try to understand me. It's always you who talks. It's always you who says the right things. It's always you who decide. This is the kind of relationship I was in for the past four years. Is this how it's still going to be in a longer run?"

It all came out to suddenly. Jinyoung can't contain his thoughts anymore. He thinks he'll explode.

"Were you not happy?" was all Jaebum can ask.

"I dont know, Jaebum. It's been always like this. I always do what you want. What you say is right. What you say I should do." He stared at him. "But doesn't love come with support and understanding? And without one, love will fail."

They were both engulfed with silence. It's the first time that Jinyoung voiced out his feelings. He's always the one to listen. But now he needs to talk.

He wants Jaebum to understand him. He needs Jaebum to understand him. 

"And this love we have is just like one... a failure?" Jaebum looked at him with sad eyes full of hurt. "If this is what it looks like to you, then we better end this."

Jinyoung felt cold.

"I love you enough to not want to give you failure." Jaebum said to him. "We should end this right now. Before I fail you even more."

"No...it's not..." horror filled his heart as Jaebum moved from his touch and gave him a cold stare.

"What?!" He spatted. "You already made your decision. It's time for me to make mine."

And as Jaebum walked away from him, Jinyoung felt his heart break into a million pieces.

◾◾◾◾◾◾◾

Annyeong! :) I'm baaaack!!!

As much as I want to write a longer author's note, mu fingers are suffering already. Haha.

my goal was to update today. So I just did. I hope you like this incredibly loooooong chapter.

please let me know of your thoughts! :)

toodles and see you next chapter! :*

<3 nicapark