author's note:

this is the first time i wrote a note before the actual story. Isn't it? 

but i just want to clear something. This isn't marked as M because this chapter is not purely about it. There are some scenes where our couple might be intimate but, i tried to keep it wholesome. *tried* Hahaha. 

this is just a heads up. But you guys need to know, when there's markjin, it's got to be 👀 HAHAHA.

 

◾◾◾◾◾◾◾

 

Jinyoung could only stare at Mark who is cursing at Jackson right now. 

 

"I can't sleep alone! I get scared easily!" The bassist continued to insist, whining like a little kid which Jinyoung's sure he's not.

 

After they settled everything, and the guys accepted what he and Mark has, the drummer opted to ask him to room with him. 

Since it's not a secret anymore, Mark was hoping to finally have the younger stay with him.

Jinyoung also agrees. It's a bit awkward if he stays with Jackson while he's sleeping with Mark. It just doesn't seem right.

But apparently, Jackson doesn't like the idea.

 

" you, Wang!" Mark barked at the chinese. Mark never has enough patience. And Jackson sure knows how to push Mark's buttons.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Jackson sat up, arms crossed and brows shot up. "Right in front of Jinyoung?"

Mark only grunted in extreme frustration and threw an empty bottle at Jackson. "Ouch!" 

 

The others could only laugh when Mark walked out of the kitchen and stormed right towards his room.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung is inside his shared room with Jackson. Jackson is playing some game in his phone while Jinyoung is just listening to music.

The other members are off doing their own thing. Mark, well maybe he's still plotting on how to kill Jackson.

 

Jinyoung caught Jackson looking at him a couple of times before he finally spoke.

"So, you and Mark, huh?"

He turned the music off so he can listen well to Jackson. The bassist also stopped playing.

Jinyoung hummed in response, watching Jackson set his phone aside and sat to face him a bit. They're both seated on the top of their bed.

 

"What about Jaebum?" 

The question caught Jinyoung off guard. He doesn't know why the question has to be asked. And he doesn't know why it's Jackson who's asking him.

"What about Jaebum?" Jinyoung repeated. "What about him?"

He saw how Jackson heaved a deep sigh. There's uncertainty in those round eyes as the bassist fiddled with his fingers. 

"Just... It's just..." The older heaved another sigh before looking at him. "Don't you feel sorry for Jaebum?"

 

Jinyoung remained silent, trying to digest what Jackson just asked him. Does he feel sorry for Jaebum? For what reason, exactly? Because of this thing he has with Mark?

Why does he need to feel sorry? Was he the one at fault? When all he asked for was for Jaebum to understand?

 

"I know..." Jackson said almost quietly. "You might say that I don't know much about your relationship with Jaebum. And you're right. But for that really short time he was here, with us, with you, I have seen how much he loves you."

Love, he says. What does love really mean anyway? Does he have a different context for it? 

 

"You hid the fact that you got in this band, from him because you don't want him to be upset, right? You feared that he won't understand. But Jinyoung, didn't he fly all the way from Korea, just to talk to you about this? Didn't he watch us when we played that night? Didn't he try to get to know us, your new friends, and asked about what we love about music?"

Jinyoung is still not speaking. He let Jackson do all the talking.

 

"I don't think Jaebum just conducted a survey on us." The chinese shook his head and stared at him. "You said he never understands. He never tries to understand. But Jinyoung, those things he just did, for you... aren't those what you call efforts? Isn't that what trying looks like?"

He still hasn't said anything. He doesn't know what to say. His mind is going back to their last talk at the airport.

 

"He gave what he can give. To make your relationship work. But did you see those?" That hits a spot. Jackson continued looking at him with those same eyes. "Weren't you asking for too much? Weren't you the one who failed to understand what he can only do? What he can only give?"

"I tried to understand him." Jinyoung now felt the need to speak. "I did, Jackson. For four years, I didn't say anything. I didn't complain. I embraced him fully. All flaws and edges-"

"Then maybe that's where you went wrong." Jackson cut his words. "You should've told him all these and not keep it all in. If you really loved him, you should've said these things to him. Staying ing quiet doesn't mean you love him, Jinyoung!"

 

"I loved him, damn it! I did. For a very long time, I did."  He felt his chest going up and down as he breathed. He stared back at Jackson. "But can't I love myself a bit more?"

There was a brief moment of silence before Jackson talked again.

 

"Don't you love him anymore?"

Staring at his hands, Jinyoung inhaled and exhaled before he answers. 

"It was him who left me, and not the other way around, Jackson. Jaebum broke up with me. Because he wants me to quit this band. This band which you said, he wanted to know more. He didn't understand me. And up to that last part, he still refused to."

His words came out too sharp. He felt something bitter in his mouth as he said those words.

 

He waited for the latter to speak. To insist about him being wrong. But Jackson didn't talk again.

The bassist just shrugged and never said anything again.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

"Wow guys, we did great!"

Bambam took the courtesy to congratulate theirselves. 

 

They just finished their last show for the week. After this night, they'll have a week long break.

 

"What do you guys want to drink?" Bambam asked them.

"I'll have what you have." Yugyeom then said which made his boyfriend smirk.

"Oh you'll have me alright..."

"Yah! Stop it you two. It's too early and I don't want to puke yet!" Youngjae complained while pulling the two youngest away from each other.

 

Jinyoung felt Mark's hand on his shoulder. "You, what do you want to drink?"

For some reason, he found it necessary to move away a bit. They're too close, and Jackson is staring. Jinyoung's glad Mark hasn't noticed what he did. "Just, beer."

 

It's awkward with Jackson.

Ever since their talk, Jackson was a bit distant to him. And whenever he's near Mark, he sees how Jackson is looking at them. During rehearsals, and even in the apartment. He finds it uncomfortable, to be honest.

 

That night, he didn't sleep with Mark.

 

It went on for the next two days. His time with Mark is near zero. Despite Mark's teasing, Jinyoung just can't. 

He keeps on thinking about how Jackson sees him. And his relationship with Mark, though even he is not sure what he has with Mark.

 

It's one late afternoon, he was sipping on his coffee while reading the editorial page of the newspaper. He went outside of his shared room with Jackson because he can't stand the awkwardness.

Reading a boring material is better than counting the number of sighs he heaves.

 

"Hey."

Mark sat down next to him on the couch. It's been three days since their last time together. As in alone together.

"Hey." he said as Mark rested his head on his shoulder. 

"I want coffee too." 

Without looking, he handed his mug to Mark. He felt the drummer took it from his hands. But seconds after, he saw the older's face in front of his after Mark disregarded the newspaper he's reading.

Without saying something, Mark reached for his lips and touched it with his soft ones. That's when he thought, he miss Mark. 

Breaking the kiss, a smile crossed the drummer's face. "You always make good coffee."

 

He wasn't able to say anything because soon enough, Mark is pulling him up to stand. "Come on. You owe me a date."

"A date?" is he hearing things right?

"Yeah." Mark nodded and showed him his car keys. "I'll drive us around the city. Go and fix yourself, I'll wait for you outside."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

They drove around the city for three hours. They came to some music stores where Mark bought some albums. He likes slow rock music, it's what Jinyoung noticed.

They were having dinner at L'Assiette Steak Frites. He can't even pronounce it correctly. They ordered steak.

 

They were in the middle of eating and talking when Mark suddenly asked him about why he is so distant these past days.

 

"You don't seem fine. I'm not sure but, is there anything bothering you?"

Jinyoung just sighed and sipped on his wine before he answered. "It's Jackson."

This made Mark raise his brows. He didn't expect his answer maybe.

"What about Jackson? Is he still bitter about this?"

Jinyoung shook his head as he recalled his conversation with the bassist.

 

"He asked about Jaebum." he started off. "He asked if I feel sorry for Jaebum."

Mark didn't speak and just let him finish.

"He tried to tell me that I might've done Jaebum wrong. And now, with this. I think, he doesn't think this is right."

The drummer just said a short okay and then went back to eating. But Jinyoung isn't done yet.

 

"He asked me if I still love Jaebum." 

It's as if he dropped a bomb or something. It made the atmosphere eerily quiet. Jinyoung is waiting for Mark to say something. 

It took the drummer a full minute to do so.

 

"So, do you?" He's asking the same thing. Jinyoung would answer but Mark shrugged him off. "I see what Jackson is saying. Maybe he thinks this is unfair for Jaebum. It's impossible to move on that fast." that fast? He thought. It's been almost two months. 

Mark continued. "I don't really need you to move on or something. If you still love Jaebum, that's okay. I understand." But Jinyoung doesn't.

Mark wiped his mouth with a napkin. 

"Forgetting someone whom you love so much is nearly a ing miracle, anyway."

 

Jinyoung's mood turned sour. Up until they finished eating, he remained impassive.

As they were walking outside the restaurant and towards the parking space, his mind is still all caught up in Mark's words. miracle, he says. 

Why did Mark say that? That it's okay even if he doesn't move on from Jaebum? Even if he still loves him? How can that be okay?

Is it because, Mark also can't move on from that Jinwoo guy? Is that it?

 

"You're so weird today." Mark spoke behind him. "And you're so serious. You look like you're having a constipation."

He knows Mark is joking but, his thoughts made him snap at the drummer. He wasn't able to stop himself from blurting out his thoughts.

 

"Why is it okay?" he asked.

"Huh?" There's still a smile on Mark's face.

"Me, not moving on. Me being in love with Jaebum. Why is it okay?"

Mark's mouth fell open. He has this incredulous look on his face. Does he sound stupid to him?

"Well, I am in no position to demand anything from you, Jinyoung. I'm not your boyfriend or anything. So I am cool with anything."

The way how Mark sounded so calm and indifferent makes Jinyoung more frustrated. Mark said he's okay. And he's right. They are both in no position to demand anything from each other. 

But why does he get a bit furious?

 

He felt Mark's hand on his elbow. "Come on, let's just get in the car and head home. It's about to rain."

But Jinyoung didn't flinch. He stared at the drummer. Looking for any sincere emotion. "So this is fine with you? Us, just ing each other with no clear nothing. That's it. You're fine with this?"

It took Mark a couple of beats before he was able to talk. A smile creeping on the side of his lips.

"Why do you sound like you're picking a fight with me?" He finds this funny. Mark finds him funny. "Was it the steak? Or was it the wine? Boy, I'm not taking you there again if it means you're gonna act this crazy everytime."

Mark's laugh did it for his patience. He wriggled off the drummer's hold and walked the opposite way. He's not going with him.

 

He felt the raindrops and it's starting to pour hard but he doesn't care. Even with Mark calling out his name, he didn't care.

Mark doesn't care about a lot of things. He thinks he can do just as same.

 

But then he felt Mark's hand on his arm. It was firm that made him turn to look at the other.

"What's the matter?"

Once again, he broke free of Mark's grasp and ran to the nearest convenience store. Mark followed him righy after.

They're both drenched in the rain. He can be stupid sometimes. Walking in the rain in the middle of the night is not a smart thing to do.

 

"Hey..." he ignored him. He doesn't want to see his smirking face. "Jinyoung..."

He turned the other way. Jinyoung knows he's acting like a girl, buy he doesn't care.

Mark sighed as he inched closer. Jinyoung felt his touch on his crossed arms.

"I'm sorry." he's now sorry? "Okay. I may have been insensitive back there. But I was just being honest."

Mark slowly turned Jinyoung to face him. He's taller than the drummer but only a fraction of a difference. "Look at me, please? I'm sorry, Jinyoung. I'll try to be more sensitive towards you, I promise."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

The two of them headed back to the car. They both wet Mark's car seat but Mark said it's okay.

When they reached the apartment, everyone else is asleep already. Figures. It's around 11 pm already. They got caught up in the middle of traffic.

 

Jinyoung was about to head to his shared room with Jackson when Mark tugged his arm. He didn't say anything but he walked towards his bedroom, tugging Jinyoung along.

Once inside, he told him to shower. So he did. 

 

But when he went outside the bathroom, he was met by Mark's lips, kissing him tenderly, mumbling soft sorry's against his cold ones.

Jinyoung could only curse at how soft he becomes when he's with Mark. 

 

"I'm sorry, babe. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me?"

And that did it for him.

 

 

With one final , Jinyoung threw his head back, only to bury his face in Mark's neck right after.

"God, I love you." he withdrew his and rolled to his side. He pulled Mark closer to him and kissed his damp hair. "I love you, Mark."

Jinyoung hasn't realized what he has said, not until he felt Mark stiffen. But the drummer didn't say anything.

Maybe it's because he was tired after a long day, Jinyoung dozed off to sleep.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Jinyoung startled awoke when he felt the side of Mark's bed empty. He looked around only to confirm that he is indeed alone. 

He walked outside the bedroom and saw Mark playing the piano. 

It's the same sad melody.

 

     "I still remember the look on your face
      Lit through the darkness at 1:58 
      Words that you whispered for just us to know
      You told me you love me
      But why did you go away?"

 

He walked closer. Mark doesn't see him yet cause he's to immersed in playing as he sings softly.

 

     "But now I'll go sit on the floor
      Wearing your clothes
      All that I know is I don't know
      How to be something you miss..."

 

"I guess I'm the one who should ask you."

Mark stopped playing upon hearing him. "Have you forgotten Jinwoo?"

Mark smiled sadly.

"Isn't it painful to be forgotten?" and then asked him to sit beside him so Jinyoung did. "I wrote this song for him."

Mark sighed.

"Our love was extraordinary. In my opinion, it is worth writing and turned into a best selling novel. I met him when I was fifteen. He's new in Busan. Mrs. Kang, the landlady of the apartment my dad and I are staying at, introduced him to us..."

Jinyoung just listened to Mark as he told him about his first love.

 

"I was ahead of him, for a year but we still became best of friends. I was seventeen when I realized I love him." He could see how Mark smiles while telling the story. "We were together for two years. He was my first everything. And I don't regret any part of that."

Mark cleared his throat before continuing.

"But it's as if we're these characters in a tragic movie. Something happened that brought us apart. He said he'll fight for us. That he won't leave me. That he will stay..." Is it just him or did he really hear Mark's voice as it broke? He still listened. 

"But one day, he changed his mind. He left me, despite his promises. He... he left."

He watched Mark as he stared down his hands. Jinyoung can't say anything. Seeing Mark like this tells him just enough.

With a sniff, Mark looked up at him. "That was five years ago. I haven't spoken to him since then."

Jinyoung, finally snapping himself out of it, spoke. "But..do you want to see him? Or talk to him?"

Mark smiled bitterly, and something in Jinyoung felt like breaking.

 

"He already forgot about me."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

He's inside his shared room with Jackson.

Mark called to him but he said he's tired. He doesn't want to see Mark right now. Even if it's been three days after that night. He still loves Jinwoo. That's what is running in his head.

 

"What's with your painful expression?"

Jinyoung was surprised when Jackson talked to him. He thought they were still not in good terms after their last conversation.

The bassist sat back on the bed, leaning his back on the head rest.

 

He's hesitant. Will he tell Jackson? What if it ruins his mood again? 

"It's nothing."

Jackson mocked him. "You're not a good actor, Park Jinyoung. Now talk."

A minute has passed and he still ain't talking, making the older annoyed. "Jeez, Jinyoung. Is this about what we talked about the last time?"

"No." 

"Well, it's about Mark, then? Correct?"

He doesn't know if he should talk to Jackson about it.

"Come on, Jinyoung. Spill it. You don't have anyone else to talk to, but me. I'll listen."

 

With a long sigh, Jinyoung decided to share his thoughts.

"I'm afraid Mark still hasn't moved on from Jinwoo."

"Jinwoo? His ex?" he nodded. "And why is it a big problem?"

"Huh?"

Jackson rolled his eyes as he hugged on a pillow. "Why are you so damn affected? Doesn't that make things lighter? Just ing, no commitments? That's a hundred headaches less for you, my man."

Why did he even bother to tell this guy? "You know what, just forget it. You won't understand anyway."

He lied on his side of the bed, his back on Jackson. It's noted. If he wants serious advice, Jackson is out of the choices.

Jinyoung heard a soft hiss, before he felt Jackson lying beside him.

 

"Do you love Mark?" 

Jackson's question made him feel uneasy. He lied on his back and stared at the ceiling as he recalled what happened a few nights ago.

 

"I already told him that. Three nights ago." he sighed.

"Saying that after is not a good timing, Jinyoung-ah." he ly to see Jackson glaring at him. How did he know?

Shrugging it off, he spoke. "But talking about your ex, right after isn't a good timing either." He let out another sigh. "I told him I love him but all I ever heard from him was how much he loved Jinwoo." And yet another sigh. "He still loves him."

"Did he say that?" he looked at Jackson. "Did Mark say that?"

Jinyoung thought for a while and realized that...

"He didn't, right? You just assumed." but...why else will he talk about his ex like that if he really moved on? 

Jinyoung just ruffled his hair out of frustration.

 

"You should talk to Mark. You both have to sort your s together."

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

He didn't sign up for this.

Meeting someone from Mark's past. His past with Jinwoo? The guy Mark loved so much and couldn't forget?

Jinyoung refused to.

 

But Jackson, being a good friend as he claimed, tugged him along with the rest of the guys. 

 

They're off to visit Mrs. Kang. Mark's landlady, whom he treated as his own mother.

 

He also brought his car, because the six of them won't fit in one car alone. Jinyoung cannot say no to Jackson. That Chinese guy, really.

 

When they reached the facility, they waited in the waiting room, all six of them. 

A moment after, an old woman maybe in her early sixties, was accompanied by two nurses. Her hair was all white. But her beauty can still be seen.

Mark immediately stood up to greet the elder. And how her eyes lit up when she saw Mark.

 

"Eomeoni!" Mark now has his arms around the old lady. Her eyes give off so much love.

"Mark!" She embraced him tightly. Something in Jinyoung's heart clenches at the sight. He remembers his own mom.

 

Mark led Mrs. Kang to their table. The guys greeted her but when she saw Jinyoung, her eyes lit up again.

 

"Jinwoo!"

This got Jinyoung startled. Did she just call him Jinwoo?

Mrs. Kang was about to stand up when Jackson went to her. "Eomeoni, I'm Jinwoo the last time."

Confused, he turned to Mark who is now seated beside him.

"What... Do I look like Jinwoo?"

Mark sneered at him, as if what he said was funny. "No, of course not. He's way more handsome than you."

That response from the drummer only annoyed him more. But Mark seemed to be oblivious about it.

"Mrs. Kang suffers from Alzheimer's. She already forgot everyone, including Jinwoo. But she remembers me. And she knows Jinwoo as my boyfriend. So he tends to call anyone who I'm with, as Jinwoo."

 

After explaining, Mark focused on talking to Mrs. Kang. Jinyoung can see the fondness in Mark's eyes as he stared at the old woman. He can clearly see how Mark loves the elder.

And now, all he thinks about is, how he wants to see those same emotions in Mark's eyes whenever he's looking at him.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Mark is driving. It's been twenty minutes since they left the homecare. 

He's driving Jinyoung's car.

A while ago, Mark told Jackson to drive his car home and bring the others. He said that he needs to go somewhere with Jinyoung.

 

Jinyoung is too tired to argue. So he just stayed silent all though out the ride.

 

Soon enough, they reached the place.

Mark brought him to the beach again. For what possible reason, Jinyoung doesn't want to care.

 

As they walked along the shore, Jinyoung felt anxious. Why did Mark bring him here? When Mark turned to look at him, he immediately spoke.

"Why are we here? I don't need to shout anything."

"I know." Mark casually responded. "But I do."

 

Jinyoung braced himself for what Mark is going to shout. For all he knows it's gonna be about Jinwoo and how hard it is to forget the guy.

But when Mark shouted, it got him surprised.

 

"I LOVE YOU TOO, JINYOUNG!"

 

Stunned.

That's how he was after Mark's declaration.

 

He said he loves Mark. But hearing Mark said he loves him too is different.

Mark faced him, with a playful smile on his lips. "I can't handle a grumpy Jinyoung for a couple of days more. You want something clear, then I'm telling you now." He felt the drummer's hand squeezing his. "I love you, and you are now my boyfriend."

 

Jinyoung finds himself stuttering. "Why...why all of a sudden?"

Mark smirked. "Who said this is all so sudden? I already fell for you that morning during breakfast. When you said that I'm not alone because I have you."

Jinyoung smiled. "But...is this real? I'm your boyfriend? I mean, we are together. Officially?"

Mark shrugged. "Don't wanna?"

With this,Jinyoung immediately kissed him. "No taking back. I want this."

Mark laughed some more. "I'm doing this so that Jackson will leave us the alone. And he'll have no choice but to let you room with me. That head. Not because he's ing single, he'll drag us to his misery."

Jinyoung laughed, his eyes wrinkling in the process.

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

They were both inside his car. Mark is still driving.

Jinyoung felt stupid, hiding his smile from the drummer. It amuses him, he knows.

But he doesn't care. He enjoys seeing that smirk on his boyfriend's lips.

 

Just then, Jinyoung's phone rang. It's Jackson. He rolled his eyes heavenwards before answering the call.

 

"Hello?"

"Oh Jinyoung. Where are you two?" 

Jinyoung looked at Mark. "In the car. Mark's driving."

He heard Yugyeom's voice. He's talking to someone, maybe Bambam.

"Oh. Okay. But. Are you guys heading home? Because the guys at cooking dinner. Or will you eat elsewhere?"

 

Before Jinyoung could answer, Mark already grabbed the phone from him and put Jackson in loud speaker.

"Hey, we're on our way. So stop bugging me or Jinyoung. And you fcktard better get this in your head. I don't care if you're lonely and single. My boyfriend is staying with me."

 

Jinyoung grinned as he takes the phone back. Jackson is grunting nonstop. "Tell Mark, I said him."

Jinyoung's eyes met Mark's. "Oh, you don't need to tell me Jackson. I'll do just that."

"Oh you lil-"

He hanged up, as Mark held his hand. They're both laughing. 

 

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Mission failed.

Hahaha. It's already 12 am. I thought I'll finish earlier. But at least. I'm done :)

 

and I did write a double update for this week. Hooray!!!

 

This chapter is quite long. But how is it?? This is a bit wholesome...don't you think? Haha.

 

Okay. So next update will be this Friday. There are only 4 chapters left. I suppose... We're nearing to an end. But as they say, endings are new beginnings.

and since I've bookmarked a LOT of prompts, I should at least start writing. Once again, rip time management. 

 

Sweeties, please leave a comment. And please subscribe or upvote if you still haven't :*

 

MarkJin fighting!!! ❤❤❤

toodles!

 

<3 nicapark