Ever since that day nothing has been the same, the worst part is that I don’t regret it. At school we act the same, if anything we both avoid each other.  Which has become harder at this point. Ken and Ravi have slowly become more open about their relationship, wanting all of us to have lunch and spend time together as a group.

Taekwoon and I sit the furthest away from each other. Our eyes darting back and forth from our trays to one another. This type of thing is so new to me. I’ve never had a friend with benefits before. At least one I refuse to admit my feelings for. There was just something about Taekwoon. The way nothing fazes him, how he can just roll with the punches. How he knows to push every button I have in the right order.

    My attention turns to Hyuk. I had to talk him down after he saw Taekwoon and I rushing through the halls together. He insisted that Taekwoon had some terrible secret on me and was forcing me to be his slave or something. I told him that Hakyeon had forced us to do team building exercises and we forgot to do them so we had to hurry and finish them. Also the fact that Taekwoon has backed off completely helped him believe me.

Taekwoon caught my attention again as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. A small smile snuck onto his face as he began to text. A second later my phone buzzed.

[Received]

Taekwoon: How’s your lunch?

[Sent]

Me: You couldn’t just ask me in person, i’m right across the table.

Me: It’s fine.

[Received]

Taekwoon: No.

Taekwoon: We hate each other remember?

[Sent]

Me: People who hate each other still talk....

Me: We don’t hate each other.

[Received]

Taekwoon: Is hongbin admitting feelings for me only after a couple days???

Taekwoon: Weren’t you the one who said “just friends”

I pick at the food on my tray reaching for the banana, I begin to peel it. Taking a bite I return my attention to the group. My phone buzzes, again.

[Received]

Taekwoon: Eat it slower. I like watching you put things in your mouth;)

The piece of fruit gets caught in my throat and I choke a bit.

“Hongbin, are you ok?”

Holding up a hand to the group I nod my head. Taekwoon lets a low chuckle out. Through the coughs I glare at him. Quickly I swallow the piece of fruit and grab my phone.

[Sent]

Me: I’m literally going to kill you when we get home.

[Received]

Taekwoon: I like it when you’re rough with me

Finishing the last of the food on my plate I got up clearing my tray. I didn’t look back as I exited the lunch room. Not only was Taekwoon on my mind but our first game. My heart raced thinking about having to play the first game. We’ve been training so hard these past few weeks, I know the team is getting stronger together but this game I really have to prove myself.

The overwhelming thoughts take over as I continue down the hall. My heart starts to pound in my ears as I turn the corner. All thoughts of Taekwoon disappear. That is until i’m pulled into a corner. The strong hands grip my the back of my uniform tugging the fabric with aggression. I’m being pinned against the concrete wall as Taekwoons firm body presses against me. A small area of the building that juts out is the only thing that hides us.

His kisses are always aggressive, almost as if he was trying to hurt me. But he never does. My hands slides up his blazer, gripping onto the collar. Pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. His mouth has become so familiar. It was comforting yet unsettling at the same time. The worry of the first game was gone from my mind, instead it was replaced with thoughts of Taekwoon.   

After a couple minutes he pulls away, his eyes dart back and forth over my face. We don’t say anything to each other, as he turns and continues down the hall. I wait until he’s gone to let the smile show on my face. But I quickly get rid of it, mind turning back to the game today.

It’s the start of the game, my nerves are so high I can’t feel them anymore. I’ve shut my mind off. I know how hard i’ve worked. I scan the crowd quickly checking to see if either of my parents bothered to show up. They didn’t. The referee blew the whistle signaling the start of the game. Taekwoon rushes forward aggressively, beating everyone to the ball. Dribbling it past two of the opposing team mates he runs down the field, I keep up with him as he continue towards the goal.

Hakyeon is on the opposite side of the field creating an opening for a pass, Taekwoon takes it quickly without hesitating.My arms pump back and forth harder as I run to the goal, Hakyeon passes it to me before I had time to think I took my shot. The goalie caught it almost immediately. I can feel the mix of embarrassment and anger begin to boil inside of me.

The beads of sweat drip down the side of my cheek, I sit on the bench with my eyes glued to the field. My leg shakes impatiently as I was our team. There is fifteen minutes left in the game and the scoreboard is still at zero. Coach had me on the bench for most of the game after my missed goal.

My eyes search the field for Taekwoon, He’s dripping in sweat and his face is twisted in anger. The referee blows his whistle signaling for a time out. Everyone comes off the field. The team begins to swarm the bench, grabbing water bottles and seats. Coach pulls out a small dry erase board and begins to write down the play. Before the time out is over coach turns to me, “Hongbin, you’re back in.”

I feel my heart jump as he says that. Quickly standing up I throw the towel that hung around my neck on the ground. Running out on the field I glance back at the bench quickly, Taekwoon sat with his elbows resting on his knees. He was gasping for breath but locked our eyes together. I liked him watching me, you would think it would put more pressure on me but it did the exact opposite.

    We all take our positions on the field, my eyes focus on the goal. I take a couple deep breaths as I wait for the game to resume. When it does my body lurches forward. Chasing the ball down the field as one of my teammates dribbles. I position myself so the play could be set up. I’m open for a shot, quickly I call to my teammate for the ball. Getting his attention he lines up his shot to pass to me, right before I get a chance to receive the ball i’m thrown to the ground.

A warm shooting pain rushes up my left leg stemming mostly from my ankle.  I open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out. The pain is raging over my body, causing a twist in my lowers stomach. All I can do is hold my leg. The sound of the whistle and yells all blur together, everything's happening so fast.

Coach rushes over to me, “Hongbin, are you alright!?” He shouts.

My eyes are squeezed shut as the throbbing from my right ankle continues. It’s a warm stomach turning pain that reached up my body. Coach continues to try and adjust me so i’m laying flat on my back, but the adjustment sends more pain through my body.

“!” I scream. I’m picked up by Ken and coach who help me off the field on onto the bench. The medic rushes over to look at my ankle but quickly decides I should go to the hospital. I’m taken there immediately.