Unlike most of his classmates, Yukhei's winter break had been a horrible one thus far. Yukhei had been horribly ill for days, trapped in bed. His fever had yet to die down and he'd been throwing up twice a day. He'd been unable to think, barely able to even move. His mother had even been debating taking him to the hospital, when Jungwoo sent him a text. 

Can we meet up later today? Just at your house or something. I need to talk to you.

Immediately after receiving the text, Yukhei felt better but god did he also feel pathetic. His illness immediately began to dissipate, just from that one single string of communication. Clearly, the illnesses of not seeing your soulmate in weeks had led to his almost death. Even still, he was not expecting to hear from Jungwoo ever again. 

After their movie date, the two of them had spent two more lunches together. Although they'd stopped Yukhei from feeling sick, Jungwoo had kept his distance both physically and emotionally. It was so incredibly painful to witness, especially since Jungwoo appeared happier for it. 

But what was even worse was when winter break started. No, as soon as school had let out that Friday, they hadn't seen each other. They hadn't spoken on the phone, and Jungwoo had ignored all his texts up until sending this one. At this point, Yukhei had assumed that Jungwoo was just going to let himself die rather than see Yukhei again. And that had just made things worse, broken him to his core.

But of course as soon as Jungwoo texted him Yukhei responded within moments, telling him to come over whenever since he was all alone at home. Jungwoo agreed, and Yukhei felt life in his bones for the first time in weeks. 

Even though Yukhei was exhausted, he forced himself to shower and get dressed up nice. Even if Jungwoo was going to say that they're only going to see each other passing by in the hallways, he still wanted to look good for the love of his life. He focused on it even too much, brushing his hair for twenty minutes, just to distract him from the nerves in his stomach and the pain in his heart. 

The ringing of the doorbell a few hours later sent Yukhei into a panic, rushing to look at himself in the mirror before racing downstairs and throwing open the front door. 

Immediately upon seeing Jungwoo, all of his selfish worry disappeared. He was struck by how ill Jungwoo looked; gaunt with dark circles under his eyes, nails bitten and lips obviously chewed on. Still, Yukhei thought he was beautiful. Even after everything. 

"Do you want anything? Water? Food? An extra jacket?" Yukhei asked, before either of them had even said hello. He was just so stricken with worry that he couldn't focus on anything else. 

"I-I'm alright," Jungwoo responded, and the sound of his soft voice soothed every ache in Yukhei's bones. "It's kinda cold out though. Could I come in?" 

"O-oh, of course," Yukhei responded, gesturing for Jungwoo to come inside and shutting the door behind him. Jungwoo was still shivering though, and Yukhei led him into the living room. 

"You wanted to talk, right? Let's talk here." He began to drape blankets over Jungwoo's body before rapidly moving into the kitchen. "Hm, do you want something to drink? Maybe tea? No, tea has caffeine and stuff which isn't relaxing, plus it's just like leaf juice so it's not filling, and you look like you need to eat. We need something hot to drink, so ooh! I'll make hot cocoa," Yukhei rambled on. 

"I-I'm fine, thank you," Jungwoo responded from the living room, his voice so quiet Yukhei almost didn't hear it. But Yukhei was too nervous to even register and that point, so he ended up making both of them the hot cocoa and bringing it into the living room. 

"Thank you," Jungwoo said, holding the mug tightly in his freezing cold, delicate hands. The mug was so much bigger than Jungwoo's tiny fingers, absolutely adorable, and Yukhei forced himself to commit the image to memory. He really thought this was the last time he'd be alone with Jungwoo. He couldn't cry even though he wanted to; he just had to appreciate every moment of it. 

Jungwoo took a sip before speaking. "I'm actually pretty happy right now. I'm just super duper nervous. This is a really big decision for me and I don't know if I'm ruining my life by making it." Yukhei paid rapt attention, shielding his heart from breaking at the moment when Jungwoo would announce they could never be together again. 

"I-I....I stopped the therapy. The church therapy," Jungwoo announced. Immediately, Yukhei dropped the entire mug of super hot cocoa all over his blanket and lap. 

"!" He cried, the steaming chocolate and milk burning his legs despite the layers. 

"Oh my gosh are you okay?" Jungwoo asked, his tone very worried. 

"Y-yeah, I'm alright." 

"Wait," Jungwoo responded as Yukhei just stared at his legs, still in shock. Jungwoo brought over some paper towels, handing them to Yukhei to wipe himself down. 

"L-let me change my pants..." Yukhei trailed off before running up to his bedroom. 

As he changed his pants, he wanted to think about what Jungwoo had just told him. But his brain was in such a state of shock that it had entirely shut down. All Yukhei could do was change into some sweatpants, ruining his much more attractive previous outfit, and go back down to his fate. 

"Are you alright?" Jungwoo asked worriedly as soon as Yukhei came back downstairs. 

"Y-yeah," he stuttered back, grabbing a new blanket and sitting down again. After a moment, Jungwoo spoke. 

"I-I decided to stop it, because....well, first, because even though I was in it for weeks nothing was changing. I didn't miss you any less, I didn't care about you any less. In fact, I missed you and cared about you more. It just kept getting worse. A-and I wondered...am I doing something wrong? I did everything they told me to...but then I remembered something my old best friend said to me when this whole thing started. Sicheng said that it was a message from God, that He thinks homouality is okay. In His eyes, it's the same as a straight relationship."

Yukhei just watched Jungwoo speak in shock. For once, he himself was speechless.

"At first, I still didn't believe Sicheng. But remembering when he said that put the thought in my mind, and I started to believe it more and more. Finally, I realized maybe he was right. If God did put this as a test, he would have rewarded me for passing it. But I only suffered without you."

Yukhei didn't try to touch Jungwoo, still unsure of how he felt about those things. But he moved in closer, his expression more surprised than upset now. 

"To be honest, I'm still really hesitant. Even though I know it isn't wrong, on the inside I still feel a bit shameful about...us. Plus, I'm so incredibly terrified of my parents finding out. I don't know what I'll do if they do; I'll definitely be in trouble. But...I'm sick of hurting you. I'm sick of hurting myself. I want us to be happy, and I think that can happen if we are together." 

Yukhei's brain was definitely in a complete tangle, but he felt that he could finally speak. "I-I'll never pressure you....we can go really, really slow," he spoke. 

"I-I know you're a good guy. The best one there is. I know you'll never push me."

Yukhei came in closer until he and Jungwoo were right next to one another. Finally, for the first time in weeks, he smiled. One of his genuine bright smiles, the ones the student body of Morrisville high knew him for. The ones Jungwoo had missed so much; the way Yukhei's face looked its most beautiful. 

"I'm just so happy," Yukhei said, so joyfully yet seriously that Jungwoo couldn't believe himself; that he'd let himself break this poor boy's heart for so long. 

"So happy," Jungwoo echoed, smiling back softly too until he was giggling lightly. His own expression only made Yukhei smile more. 

"You have a beautiful smile," Yukhei spoke. "I've never seen it so bright before." 

Jungwoo flushed and for the first time, didn't beat himself up when his heart began to pound. This was okay. Yukhei was okay. Falling in love was okay. It was terrifying, but it was okay. 

Yukhei reached up and cupped Jungwoo's beautiful face in his hand, tracing the arch of his cheekbones, the shell of his arm, the plane of his jaw and browbone. Jungwoo let him, and it felt so good, just to allow himself to feel adored. Because that was how Yukhei felt about him, he adored him with all of his being. 

"So...I-I really get to be with you?" Yukhei asked, still hesitance in his voice, fear that all of this would just be taken from him at a moment's notice. Jungwoo simply nodded back, sighing contentedly at Yukhei's soft caresses. This had been such a hard decision for him; one that had tormented his mind for weeks until he was on the brink of death. But he had to be sure before he told Yukhei how he felt. He knew how dangerous this was; but he knew that their happiness and mental health was just so much more important. 

"Can I kiss you?" Yukhei asked softly, and Jungwoo absolutely melted. He even asked for permission. 

"Yes," Jungwoo responded, gently put firmly. Jungwoo puckered his lips and awaited Yukhei's on his, but he never got it. Instead, he felt Yukhei's plush lips kissing the tip of his nose. 

"What was that for?" Jungwoo asked with a soft giggle. Even already it was becoming so easy, just to accept the butterflies in his stomach and the beating of his heart. It felt natural to fall for Yukhei, it felt right. 

"Ever since I laid eyes on you, I've wanted to do that." 

"Kiss my nose?"

"Yeah. You have the cutest nose," Yukhei responded. He booped Jungwoo's nose with his finger and Jungwoo giggled, his cheeks permanently stained pink. "Can I give you a real kiss now?" 

"Please," Jungwoo responded softly. Honestly, his heart had been waiting for this moment ever since their first kiss together way more than a month ago. 

His large hand softly cupping his cheek, Yukhei slowly leaned in closer until those perfect plumps lips of his pressed against Jungwoo's. The two of them practically sighed as the electricity passed warm between them, getting rid of any trace of illness still left in their bodies. Jungwoo rested his hands on Yukhei's shoulders, the added touch only intensifying these sparks between them. Every time they touched the sparks still shocked Jungwoo, but now he found them extremely comfortable. They just affirmed that Yukhei really was his soulmate, that all this risk would be worth it, that he'd finally get to be himself. And if he could finally be himself, for the first time in his whole life, maybe he could really, truly, be happy. 

Yukhei tilted his head and every caress of his mouth felt like the most precious moment Jungwoo had ever experienced. His first kiss with Yukhei had up until this point been the best moment of his whole life, but now kissing Yukhei was threatening to change that. Unlike before, now there was no fear, no sadness, no shame. He could just accept all of the affection Yukhei wanted to give him. 

Yukhei pulled away just as slowly as he'd leaned in, leaving Jungwoo with the feeling of Yukhei's lips still on him, every vein buzzing with sensation starting from his pink lips down to the tips of his toes. 

Yukhei began to place little gentle pecks all over Jungwoo's face; on his cheek and nose and forehead and the side of his jaw, and Jungwoo just couldn't stop giggling at the sensation. 

"I just can't believe I get to kiss you," Yukhei said, his voice still dream-like. 

"As long as we're not in front of my parents or anything...you can kiss me whenever you want," Jungwoo responded with a grin. 

Yukhei moved Jungwoo's hair aside with his giant hand, just looking at him and smiling. Jungwoo looked back at him, his heart beating so hard in his chest. He didn't know what to make of Yukhei's expression. 

"You're my angel Jungwoo, you know that? You've always been my angel," Yukhei said. Jungwoo could feel the tips of his ears go hot and Yukhei rubbed them a little with his fingers. Jungwoo was at a loss for words, all this adoration overwhelming him in the best way possible. Now was not the time for regret, but Jungwoo knew as soon as he went home that night he'd cry over how much time he wasted. 

"I want it to be like this forever," Jungwoo admitted softly. 

"It will be," Yukhei responded. "I mean, if you want." 

"I-I do want." 

"You....you should be my boyfriend now. Officially," Yukhei spoke. "I-I-I mean if you want of course. God, I'm already moving things too fast." 

"No!" Jungwoo cried, his eyes big and cute. "I should be your boyfriend now. A-as long as we go slowly." 

"Of course angel," Yukhei replied, staring at Jungwoo with a gentle smile. Jungwoo noticed that Yukhei just could never take his eyes off of him. It reminded him of when Yukhei said he was beautiful. By himself he could be so insecure, but with Yukhei around he always knew he was beautiful. Yukhei made sure of that. "Now, tell me exactly what you want. I don't wanna mess anything up. What are okay with and not okay with?" 

"W-well," Jungwoo stuttered, surprised by how accomadating Yukhei was being, especially after Jungwoo had spent all these months demanding so much of him. "I-I don't mind lots of cuddles and kisses and stuff. You can touch me as much as you want," Jungwoo said, and immediately after Yukhei grinned. "But....d-doing it is kinda something I...I'm not comfortable with. I don't feel icky and ashamed when we do like light kissing and stuff. But when I think about doing it I..I feel ashamed of myself even though I know it's okay. So...no stuff please."

"Of course not," Yukhei responded. "I haven't even thought of that at all." 

"Really?" Jungwoo asked with surprise. 

"Yeah."

"But you were..."

"A boy?" Yukhei asked with laughter. "Yeah, I probably was. But I'm different now. That's how I knew you and me were special too. I'd never had such a pure love for someone before. Before all that mattered was stuff." 

Jungwoo moved closer and pecked Yukhei on the lips. "That's good to know. I-I'm glad you see me that way." 

Yukhei slowly smiled so wide he was practically beaming at Jungwoo. 

"What's that smile for?" He asked gently. 

"That's the first time you kissed me instead of me kissing you," Yukhei explained.

"I'll do it again then," Jungwoo responded, and leaned in with a smile. 

Yukhei absolutely relished the moment Jungwoo leaned up and kissed Yukhei, without pain or hesitation, even with a smile on his face. Yukhei was willing to die for Jungwoo's love but he actually got it, finally. Part of him was afraid he would have to die, that this would never happen. But the part of him that believed everything would work out was triumphing. Every inch of Jungwoo's skin was soft and his lips were the purest form of heaven. 

"I...I love it so much when you kiss me...ah! My heart!" Yukhei cried, grabbing his chest and laughing. Jungwoo laughed too, wrapping Yukhei up in a big hug as the two of them toppled over.

Their laughter died down to simple giggles as they squished together on the couch, both of them still holding each other close. 

"Anything else you want me to do now that we're boyfriends?" Yukhei asked. Jungwoo thought for a moment. 

"Well...I'm still a little shy about PDA. Like, I don't think we should keep our relationship a secret, but I still wanna be careful...and not to showy." 

"I get it," Yukhei responded, kissing Jungwoo's cheek. 

"I-I'm sorry, I feel so mean making all these rules," Jungwoo whined softly. 

"It's not mean! I just want you to be comfortable and happy with me," Yukhei responded. 

"I am. I really am," Jungwoo responded. He lifted up his and Yukhei's hand, tracing his palms and playing with his fingers. "You're my hero Yukhei." 

And he was. In their time apart, Jungwoo had been obsessed with his memories of Yukhei: his smell; like a typical boy smell, but somehow not gross like the other guys in their grade. His appearance: lazy clothes looking like a suit on his perfect body, large height and fluffy hair, smiles that always reached his eyes and eyes that sparkled like moonlight whenever they saw just a glimpse of Jungwoo. His sounds; the deepness of his voice contrasting with the sillyness of his words, his laugh, oh his laugh was what Jungwoo thought he felt for first and most hard. His taste; his mouth tasted distinctly like Yukhei (not that Jungwoo had ever kissed anyone before), and they'd only kissed once before this day but Jungwoo committed it to memory because it was the one taste he never wanted to forgot. 

And touch. Yukhei's touch; what kept him in the clouds as well as ground down to reality. The gentleness of his hands, despite their large size, his arms always pulling him in closer, as if he could protect him better that way. The warmth of his body, which contrasted with how Jungwoo was always freezing no matter what the weather. 

Everything about Yukhei was perfect, Jungwoo realized. And he'd always known. It had just taken forever to admit it to himself. But now that he knew the truth, he knew he had a treasure he could never let go of. He'd found his hero.