The silence stretched in the room. Neither of them not knowing what to say. Jongin’s mother was also right and wrong. They were dilly-dallying. So many loose ends in their lives they couldn’t seem to tie up. It had been this long and neither of them had managed to close the doors on Mina or Seojun.

Love alone couldn’t guarantee marriage.

Marriage alone couldn’t guarantee love.

“You two think carefully,” his mother lectured, “before you continue wasting the rest of your lives.”

Grabbing her bag, she walked out.

֎֎֎֎֎

Later that evening they sat with a gap between them on the couch. Staring off into space. Staring at the floor.

“He was drunk,” Namjoo broke the glass-like quiet. “Seojun was drunk.”

“I know.” Jongin said.

They went quiet again.

“We didn’t get to tell her,” Namjoo said. “She would have been happy.”

“Yea.”

“I’m sorry,” Namjoo apologized. “I couldn’t end it properly with him.”

Jongin reached over to give her hand a light squeeze. “It’s late. Lets go to sleep.”

Like that they didn’t talk anymore. Jongin lay on his side with his own difficult thoughts. Wanting to apologize for the nonsense his mom had spouted, but then she made sense. He never knew when or if Namjoo would walk out. Her only incentive was the safety of the baby. After that, what then?

Flipping onto his opposite side he immediately smelled the familiar scent wafting off Namjoo’s long hair. Did a part of her, he wondered, still love Seojun? What if Mina was right? He would never be happy?

“Are you asleep?” he asked wrapping his arm around her.

Shifting a little closer Namjoo held his hand. “No.”

“I don’t like him,” Jongin said again. “He makes me afraid for you.”

“I was scared, too,” Namjoo told. “I’m sorry your mom had to be there.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jongin assured. “She didn’t let him take you.”

“Does it hurt?” she asked. “Your hand.”

“It’ll heal.”

She gripped his hand. “Next time don’t do it again. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Ok.”

They lay in silence awake together. Until Namjoo stopped rubbing his hand with her fingers and he drifted off after her.

֎֎֎֎֎

“These are cute,” Jongin held out a pair of infant booties.

Namjoo glanced up from the clothes rack. “Will you stop looking at shoes?”

It was Saturday. As they’d gotten dressed that morning they had promised to spend the day wisely. Set all troubles aside. Today would be dedicated to quality time. It was their day off. Not meant to be spent worrying on external matters.

“It’ll keep her feet warm.” Jongin persuaded.

“She’s going to outgrow it in a few weeks. Babies grow fast.”

“You sound as if you’re speaking from experience.” Jongin grumbled putting the shoes back.

“It’s fact. Everyone knows it.” Namjoo pointed out.

“Uh-huh.”

Namjoo sent him a glare then walked over to snag his sleeve and drag him away from the shoe department. They left the store with a bag of diapers which she made him carry.

“Next time we are coming with a shopping list,” Namjoo mumbled.

Glancing over at her Jongin smiled. “We’ll have everything prepared by the time she’s here. It doesn’t matter what we get now.” Leaning over he pulled the seatbelt over her and clicked it in.

“At least spend your money wisely,” Namjoo chided.

Today they were traveling in her car. Jongin’s car was in maintenance because of the fender bender he’d caused. They were still waiting to see if Seojun had reported the accident, but still nothing. Namjoo hoped he had realized his mistake by the time he’d wiped the blood off. He wouldn’t want trouble either. His parents would be unhappy being involved with the cops. Even more upset if they realized it was because of her.

She looked over at Jongin. His hand was still wrapped in a band-aid. They hadn’t heard from his mother. One of these days they would apologize to her. Though neither of them had mentioned marriage Namjoo knew it was the bigger issue at the end of the tunnel. Since they had promised not to press it they were trying to respect that boundary. Until who knows for how long.

Right now, they were practically in the lovebird stage. Being touchy. Often kissing. Hugging each other to sleep. Making love whenever.

“I know you’re staring at me,” Jongin said then turned to look at her, “but we’ll do the looking later.”

Namjoo scoffed at his ridiculous remark. Muttering underneath her breath, “You’re not even that good looking.”

He playfully tickled her underneath her chin. Quickly swatting his hand away, she listened to him burst out laughing.

“Ok, lets go eat spicy noodles,” he said starting the car with a whoop. Peering over at him again as they started down the road she smiled.

They arrived at a restaurant she had looked up. Particularly for spicy noodles. Even though they only came for one dish they still spent a ridiculous amount of time looking through the menu. Ordering almost eight minutes after their arrival. Namjoo slurped up the noodles as fast as it arrived. Jongin ended up giving some of his share away because she seemed so hungry.

Afterwards they went for a walk around the river. Holding hands enjoying the scenery. Hushed winds blew at them from the blue waves. Spotting a refreshment stand they played a game of rock-paper-scissors until they reached the vendor. Ending up losing Namjoo bought them a water bottle and a corn dog. Sharing it along the trek back to the car.

She fell asleep along the drive to the mall. Jongin had to shake her awake when they arrived. He bought her slushy after she made a trip to the bathroom. They stopped for a movie and then continued shopping at the baby corner. Mulling over baby outfits. Wanting to buy everything because all the clothing was so adorable. She let Jongin buy four different outfits after a long debate that had the store employees staring. They walked out laughing embarrassed.

The sun finally started dipping into the sky on the way back home. Drained, they drove in somber silence. Bringing in all the shopping bags together. Jongin showered first because she fell asleep again on the couch. He woke her when he finished. When she walked into the bedroom with her wet towel Jongin stood up from where he was sitting.

Wrapping an arm around her waist he pulled her closer. “I bought you a rose.”

A perky smile dashed across her lips. She looked around, “Where is it?”

“It’s plastic.”

She laughed, baffled but gleeful.

“So it won’t die,” he said, “no matter long you keep it.”

“Ok.” She couldn’t pull the grin off her face. Her heart was thumping. Jongin was being sweet despite the disappointments and difficulties they were enduring. Thinking of her. Thinking of the baby.

He felt like her pair of wings that let her fly constantly, but no matter how far she would go he brought her back. Rooting her to the right place. Beside him.

She let him bring up her free hand. Tap his fingers against hers as they slowly rocked side to side.

“I was going to light up candles,” he confessed, “but I don’t have any.”

Namjoo giggled overjoyed. “It’s ok.”

Touching his arm, she felt his bicep flex. Her heart fluttered imagining how strong he really was. With these arms he would cradle their daughter to sleep. Hug her.

“I’m happy,” he said. “I can’t wait until she comes.”

“Me too.”

She in a slow breath when he kissed her forehead. Feel his hand press into her lower back. His body was warm, full of comfort and security. She wanted to lean against him forever. Indulge in his masculine heat. Bask forever in all the love he had.

“Here, too.” Tilting her head back he leaned down to kiss her. Sparing her the effort of tiptoeing to meet him.

Withdrawing she heavily smiled. Watching the corner of his lips stretch up toward his ears. Sinking in the fact that they were on the same page. Grateful that they didn’t have to go through all the chasing to reach this point. Despite the heartbreaking courage she had to make to reach him Namjoo didn’t regret anything. If Jongin hung on she would cling to him as hard.

This was right. This felt right, even if it shouldn’t have happened. They were making the best of it and that should at least be accepted.

His mouth opened to kiss her again. Closing her eyes to the sanctity of his tenderness Namjoo’s hand raced up from his arm to touch his face. Out of all intimate things they could do she loved kissing him the most. She felt it all from his lips, his tongue, the way he kissed her. Hard, soft, eagerly. It was a language that reached down to her soul.

Breathing into his mouth she opened her eyes to peer up at him. To see the desire enfolding his eyes. She smelled the excruciating want from him as he kissed her cheek. Lips traveling down to her neck. Nibbling. Making her cry out.

Her hand raced into his shirt to touch the thick of his chest. When she was in high school, Jongin was the embodiment of perfection. He would do no wrong. Wouldn’t ever get angry. He was all peace and flawless.

Turns out, he was as much of imperfection as she. Knowing that now made her feel closer to him. Jongin was no prince. He was full of normalcy. Seeing him for who he really was made all the difference.

Namjoo felt more connected to him than she had her entire life. Touching his face to lead him back to her lips Namjoo kissed him more passionately.

“Move in with me,” Jongin whispered tracing his thumb across her back.

“I did.” She kissed him then opened her eyes to stare up at him. prodded open when he began gliding his hand inside her shirt.

“Come live with me,” he said brushing his lips over hers temptingly. “Lets get rid of your apartment upstairs.”

She blinked feeling his breath pounce off her lips.

“Namjoo…”

“Ok,” she answered. Leaning up to kiss him she said, “I’ll officially live here with you.”

He breathed a big smile onto his face before giving her a deep kiss. Smiling, she nibbled his lower lip. Breathing in his male scent as they took their clothes off and finished the rest of the night in bed.

֎֎֎֎֎

One step at a time. Just as they promised.

Jongin stirred when Namjoo rose. “Where are you going? Lets stay in some more.”

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Namjoo threw the blanket over.

“Come back?”

“Ok.”

As the door opened he turned to bury his head into her pillow. Opening his eyes when Namjoo closed the door and crept back into bed beside him.

“You sleep ok?” he asked brushing her hair aside.

“I slept good.” She answered before they both laughed.

Taking her hand, he kissed her fingers. “Lets go talk to my mom later.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll explain to her about Seojun.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Namjoo promised.

“I think you were right.”

“About what?”

“We hurt them,” he said. “I can understand that it’s kind of hard processing all that’s happened. When we had that night…I didn’t tell a thing to Mina. You know, I just, didn’t think we’d see each other again.”

“It’s ok, Jongin,” Namjoo assured. “I didn’t either. I took the morning after pills after I left the motel. I guess it didn’t do the work. Maybe I took them too late. You know you’re supposed to take the pills a few hours after…you know. I guess I was too drunk.”

He touched her belly. “We deserve to be happy.”

Namjoo glanced at him before turning onto her side to hug him. “I think Mina still loves you. It makes me jealous.”

He grinned. Never hearing it before. “Very…jealous?”

Namjoo scoffed but didn’t answer.

“I was going to talk to her one of these days,” Jongin informed. “I don’t want her around when the baby arrives.”

“Ok.”

“But about Seojun,” he started, “don’t do it without me. I don’t trust him.”

Namjoo didn’t reply.

“Namjoo?” he called out before hearing her even breathing. Laughing to himself when he realized she had suddenly fallen asleep. Adjusting the blanket over her held her closer. Feeling their legs mingle as he closed his eyes.

֎֎֎֎֎

They showered together but he took longer to walk out. Namjoo was sitting on the bed trying to put on socks when he walked into the bedroom.

“Want help?” he asked.

Sitting on the bed he lifted her legs up onto his lap and began slipping her socks onto her feet.

“Thanks,” Namjoo said.

“Just give me a kiss later,” Jongin sheepishly smiled.

“My back aches,” Namjoo told.

“Does it?” he worried. “Do you want to lay down? We don’t have to visit my mom today. Maybe you should rest.”

“Lets go,” Namjoo insisted. “She’ll worry if we don’t say anything.”

“All right,” he gave in. “That’s all we’re doing today. You should get some rest when we come back.”

Leaning over to squeeze his face between her hands she said, “Fine, mom.”

They stopped by the store first thing. Jongin was in charge of pushing the cart as they browsed the grocery aisle.

“What are you making?” he wondered.

“Bean sprout soup,” Namjoo answered. “It’s a light dish.” She glanced at him deviously. “It’s good for hangovers.”

“You’re serious.” He mumbled in disbelief. “You’re going to make a hangover soup for my mom?”

“It’s a light dish,” Namjoo told, “and it’s soup. Don’t you know that the older you get the less salt you eat?”

“No.” he shook his head.

“My parents eat less salty food than they did when we lived together,” Namjoo explained.

“You really thought this through.” He commented.

Namjoo looked at him with a grin and a shrug. “We’re coddling up to her, aren’t we?”

“That sounds kind of bad if you put it that way,” Jongin mumbled.

As Namjoo filled up a bag with bean sprouts she said, “But what are we going to say? About the marriage part.”

֎֎֎֎֎

“Oh, why did you even waste your time?” Jongin’s mother asked looking at the dining table filled with food.

“Sit down, mom,” Jongin invited.

Sighing, the elder woman sunk down into a chair. Peering at Namjoo then her son suspiciously. “What is it? Don’t waste my time.”

“We promised not to be impulsive about marriage, mom,” Jongin explained. “We’re not going to get married just to make it look right.”

“That’s ridiculous!” his mom protested. “This is my grandchild we are talking about! Your child! Your future!”

“It’s Namjoo’s future, her child, too,” Jongin calmly defended. “And it’s a decision we made together, and you should respect it.”

He touched her arm. Getting the cold shoulder instead. She was old. She was stubborn; traditional and she had relied on him.

“Eat, mom,” he urged.

They left after cleaning up carrying guilt and heavy hearts.

***problems aren't always about third parties. Namjoo has supportive parents vs Jongin's traditional mom